FabSwingers.com forum: Singles perspective on couples in clubs

By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Just to even things up as there's another thread from couples about singles. So singles (male and female) what are your experiences and view on couples in clubs?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Mostly they behave. But whenever I’ve had someone help themselves without asking to touch, or have to be asked more than once to stop touching me, it’s almost always been part of a couple. Just saying!

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Not really had any bad experiences, but some do come across as a bit entitled. Having said that, I've met some lovely couples who I've remained good friends with.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Very mixed. Sometimes fantastic. Sometimes almost sneering at singles and not being even moderately sociable (like OK, I just wanted to be nice, I wasn't looking for anything, I'll go away). Sometimes more restrained by the presence of their partner, sometimes further emboldened to behave badly.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Very mixed. Sometimes fantastic. Sometimes almost sneering at singles and not being even moderately sociable (like OK, I just wanted to be nice, I wasn't looking for anything, I'll go away). Sometimes more restrained by the presence of their partner, sometimes further emboldened to behave badly. "

100% this!! I love the social element of swinging, if I’m chatting to you it’s most likely to be that. So many wives get possessive when a single girl chats to them, or worse, to their bloke on his own!! I also find that couples get more d*unk than singles & are usually the ones who have domestics!

That said, some of the best people I’ve met in clubs are couples - the ones who have got their shot together & trust each other are brilliant. It’s the ones who don’t that make it difficult for everyone!

Like everything - there are good & bad couples, like there are good & bad singles!

M x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We love the social side do find that a number of guys seem nervous to break the ice...O loves the attention if its respectful which thankfully it normally is...keep up the good behaviour you singles we love it...yes O is possessive but knows I (J) wont ever play except with her so doesn't worry if I am.just chatting to ladies..

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Like everything - there are good & bad couples, like there are good & bad singles!

M x"

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

Like everything - there are good & bad couples, like there are good & bad singles!

M x"

100% all the above. I tend to suss out the self-entitled couples who treat single guys as bottom of the food chain fairly quickly and steer clear chatting to friendly and sociable couples instead without necessarily any underlying expectations/hopes. Thankfully, in my experience, there have been way more of the latter than the former.

Having said, having been on both sides of the single guy/couple dynamic, I do understand why the male of the couple can get a bit suspicious and protective when single guys start chatting.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Like everything - there are good & bad couples, like there are good & bad singles!

M x

Having said, having been on both sides of the single guy/couple dynamic, I do understand why the male of the couple can get a bit suspicious and protective when single guys start chatting."

I occasionally have the same with female halves that don't want to share the man. Don't know if they see another female as a kind of threat or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find that I prefer mixed nights when I got to clubs as it's more sociable. Where as couples and single female only nights I find them to be clicky or just unapproachable. I don't know if it's because lack of experience and newbies go and aren't sure talking to myself or trim is a way to get them into bed (most of the time it's not that) or what. Don't get it as on mixed nights I'll have no problems chatting to literally anyone.

When me n trim go we often wander off on our own, we aren't tied to each others shoe laces for sure particular as we play seperate.

Over the years we have just not bothered with couples only nights, have tried a few including this year but it seems the same every time.

So we stick to mixed nights where single guys are there as well as single fems and couples. The dinamics just work better for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find that I prefer mixed nights when I got to clubs as it's more sociable. Where as couples and single female only nights I find them to be clicky or just unapproachable. I don't know if it's because lack of experience and newbies go and aren't sure talking to myself or trim is a way to get them into bed (most of the time it's not that) or what. Don't get it as on mixed nights I'll have no problems chatting to literally anyone.

When me n trim go we often wander off on our own, we aren't tied to each others shoe laces for sure particular as we play seperate.

Over the years we have just not bothered with couples only nights, have tried a few including this year but it seems the same every time.

So we stick to mixed nights where single guys are there as well as single fems and couples. The dinamics just work better for us."

Kinda agree here, I have been to a couple of couples and females nights in Glasgow, however it is one of the events I dont actually like because unless you know any of the couples it can be a really weird dynamic. Personally prefer fun for all nights.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

its an interesting topic....

to be honest i tend to gage everything by the reply i get when i say hello....

most are brilliant to give them their dues... there is a notable element that look at you as they would shit on their shoes.... but i tend to say thats a "them" issue and not a me one!

also just a reminded that if someone says hello its not a "i want to get into your pants/knickers" it is just a hello.... so again no need to give the "side eye"

also had to remind people that if i want to play with a couple that i am big enough and adult enough to ask.... so none of this "well you have to go thru me" machismo shit please.....

actually the biggest issue i have with couples where sometimes the male goes "rouge" and wanders round on their own thinking they are untouchable in there behaviour because they came with a women..... or women being a bit too forward because they think they are untouchable because they are... well.. women!

that might sound like a lot of gripes but 90% of the couples i come across in clubs are lovely people, its just a few that spoil it for everyone else

(oh my god where have i heard that phrase before!!!! please shoot me!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its an interesting topic....

to be honest i tend to gage everything by the reply i get when i say hello....

most are brilliant to give them their dues... there is a notable element that look at you as they would shit on their shoes.... but i tend to say thats a "them" issue and not a me one!

also just a reminded that if someone says hello its not a "i want to get into your pants/knickers" it is just a hello.... so again no need to give the "side eye"

also had to remind people that if i want to play with a couple that i am big enough and adult enough to ask.... so none of this "well you have to go thru me" machismo shit please.....

*** actually the biggest issue i have with couples where sometimes the male goes "rouge" and wanders round on their own thinking they are untouchable in there behaviour because they came with a women..... or women being a bit too forward because they think they are untouchable because they are... well.. women! ***

that might sound like a lot of gripes but 90% of the couples i come across in clubs are lovely people, its just a few that spoil it for everyone else

(oh my god where have i heard that phrase before!!!! please shoot me!)

*** Very much this!

Many couples think they can touch whoever they like. Very entitled. If you complain they sneer "oh you're not a proper swinger!"

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I much prefer nights with single guys as I find the dynamics so different. I do struggle at couples nights with talking to them and breaking the ice. I'm quite a friendly person and will talk to anyone but just find it so hard on couples nights. It might be just me.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I much prefer nights with single guys as I find the dynamics so different. I do struggle at couples nights with talking to them and breaking the ice. I'm quite a friendly person and will talk to anyone but just find it so hard on couples nights. It might be just me."

True, I can fi D it a bit intimidating as there are 2 of them and 1 of me, but most are friendly enough though. I agree with the "going rogue" thing as well.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

As a confirmed singleton, and generally allowed to go to couples evenings, I don't like them. Wives get quite protective, so no point in making myself look an idiot.

I've listened in on a number of conversations between single guys, who rate clubs and woman, not always flattering.

Tend to keep myself very much to myself.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

As a confirmed singleton, and generally allowed to go to couples evenings, I don't like them. Wives get quite protective, so no point in making myself look an idiot.

I've listened in on a number of conversations between single guys, who rate clubs and woman, not always flattering.

Tend to keep myself very much to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just you, I struggle as a single with couples too....I largely get ignored...not a big fan of couples nights when I’m in my own...

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I much prefer mixed nights myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even as a couple, couples & single women nights always felt cliquey, it's like no one wants to talk and in all honesty the women that DO have fun with a couple arrived with them in the first place. So yeah, too many couples can be awkward as nobody wants to make a move

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Even as a couple, couples & single women nights always felt cliquey, it's like no one wants to talk and in all honesty the women that DO have fun with a couple arrived with them in the first place. So yeah, too many couples can be awkward as nobody wants to make a move

Thanks for your comment, nice to hear from a couples perspective. X

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

My limited experience in the club near me has been that there are a couple of couples who are not making eye contact in a ‘meaningful’ way. Sometimes they might be deeply involved in conversation with another couple or couples, so, much as I would love to get involved, I stay away for fear of being rude. The only time I have found the courage to speak to another couple is because I have spoken to them through other couples that I’ve met before.

So, the avoidance of making eye contact with singles might be the entitlement, but then again it might not be. To be fair, I never analysed much how entitled people come across in a club x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/06/19 17:58:42]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Played with a few couples and all were great. However did play with 2 x couples on separate occasions, who argued after!

Both times the female paid me to much attention. I do try to encourage the male to join in and play with his missus. Never push him out. I don’t control the situation, but it’s not my fault if he doesn’t take the lead and allows his missus to? one occasion he sat away and then went off... to be fair we hadn’t notice! Oops...

Then when we did, we went off to find him. I deliberately didn’t sit next to her as I didn’t want to make things awkward. But he just ripped into her!

The other time the female kept saying she really liked me, he got the raging hump!

At all times I try to engage with the male (talking / no play as I’m straight) I always ask if they are both ok with things before and during also after if I can...

So I think I’m quite respectful?

Only two poor experiences out of few others so can’t complain or moan. I like couples, as I’m not looking for a partner and can walk away after knowing she’s okay. Harsh maybe but truth-full. If we play again then great, if not then no issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very mixed some couples are great most friendly to a point but some out right rude.

You get the trophy wife very good looking with the husband he has a very good job so they go clubs in packs passing there wife's around the other ugly slobs to pound and sweat blubber on them.

I get the most grief from them as some of the wife's like me very much but all the husband is happy with is her sucking off his posh mates micro cock while fingering her up the ass rubbing his nipples saying I have been good nanny really I have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a confirmed singleton, and generally allowed to go to couples evenings, I don't like them. Wives get quite protective, so no point in making myself look an idiot.

I've listened in on a number of conversations between single guys, who rate clubs and woman, not always flattering.

Tend to keep myself very much to myself."

Not sure what your on about but am happy to have ago on you sweetheart

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I won't go to single ladies and couples nights anymore, I always find there's an uncomfortable atmosphere.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"As a confirmed singleton, and generally allowed to go to couples evenings, I don't like them. Wives get quite protective, so no point in making myself look an idiot.

I've listened in on a number of conversations between single guys, who rate clubs and woman, not always flattering.

Tend to keep myself very much to myself.

Not sure what your on about but am happy to have ago on you sweetheart

Have 'a go' on her?!? Really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a confirmed singleton, and generally allowed to go to couples evenings, I don't like them. Wives get quite protective, so no point in making myself look an idiot.

I've listened in on a number of conversations between single guys, who rate clubs and woman, not always flattering.

Tend to keep myself very much to myself.

Not sure what your on about but am happy to have ago on you sweetheart

Have 'a go' on her?!? Really? "

Why not bit rough around the edges but beggars cant be choosers darling

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Just to even things up as there's another thread from couples about singles. So singles (male and female) what are your experiences and view on couples in clubs? "

Going back to my OP....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always found couples to be very nice in clubs. Those of my own age, or younger are the only ones that seem to act as if I don't belong. Even then, it's only been one or two.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I've always found couples to be very nice in clubs. Those of my own age, or younger are the only ones that seem to act as if I don't belong. Even then, it's only been one or two."

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By *ung_londonMan
over a year ago

London

"Just to even things up as there's another thread from couples about singles. So singles (male and female) what are your experiences and view on couples in clubs?

Going back to my OP.... "

My experience is limited to Bi Nights which may not be typical, but I’ve generally found couples very friendly and relaxed in the social setting and beyond. Sometimes it feels like it’s about nerves and being patient - there’s a lovely couple I thought were running a mile from me one night when I said hello but when we finally got talking a couple of club nights later they said it was just because they had been finding it hard to relax that first night.

I think the bi thing can also be an issue which couples have ‘sort of’ discussed in advance but causes occasional freezes when reality bites. So the woman in a couple may be chatting away quite relaxed whereas the man is a bit more jumpy. Sometimes it feels polite to take a break from the conversation and leave them to chat together - it’s the common sense stuff other people have talked about about being respectful and picking up on cues. When I go to clubs as a couple, however, I’m aware that it can be more intimidating for singles - so I think having experienced both sides helps.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Just to even things up as there's another thread from couples about singles. So singles (male and female) what are your experiences and view on couples in clubs? "

I’ve received quite negative responses from couples in clubs, from blunt “We’re not looking for a single guy!” responses to an opening “Hi, how are you?”, to others who have turned their heads to prevent you catching their eye, and others who have blatantly whispered to each other and stood up to move away as they’ve seen you approach. It did put me off the club scene in general, for quite some time, as it seemed impossible to meet these, fun, friendly, outgoing people you read about in the club reviews.

But, persistence is the key, and those who ignore or shun you, aren’t worth your time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs"

Maybe they go to mixed nights because they think there may be more women there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always been positive for me, no dramas.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs"

The part about couples on mixed nights is so true, the amount of bitching about single men by couples is stupid, couples have a dedicated night, if they don't want single men they should stick to couples nights. It's not rocket science.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Mainly no thoughts as I steer clear of couples.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have tried to engage with couples in the past and found it difficult to go beyond a general conversation.

It's usually the female who tends to be uninterested, hence I avoid couples only events.

Prefer a mix with single guys who are easier to engage with.

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By *bcdean88Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

Hmmm interesting one You can’t generalise. because majority of couples are great and some of my best interactions in clubs have been with some amazing couples even more so then the so called holly grails (single women) haha. But if we talking the minority few who give couples a bad name experiences are as what others have allready pointed out , uncalled for rudeness, felling there superior, clicky (more club based problem). As I stated this is a minority of couples and same go’s for single female/males

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs

To right I went to a greedy girls night that's couples looking for lots of single men but one couple just turned up did not check what was on that night and bitching about so many single men

I remember the night as had fucking great time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not just you!

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Some couples we have heard and seen being off handed with singles which is a shame. But understandable with some guys who think they can just get what they want. We don't mind the guys chatting with us. Wlfe will always give me the nod if she fancies them. Or take them off somewhere if she really likes them lol. I let them down gently if we are not interested. Clubs and party's need a few single guys or lady's there to add to the fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"MrD

I have found this a very interesting read!

I am particularly shocked by the responses from single women considering so many couples all talk about wanting "unicorns" + that they are impossible to find

As for guys, why would couples go to mixed nights if they are against single men!

It all gives a very different view of clubs

To right I went to a greedy girls night that's couples looking for lots of single men but one couple just turned up did not check what was on that night and bitching about so many single men

I remember the night as had fucking great time lol "

Daisy has greedy girl nights on a normal night without going to a club lol

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I'm the same - I think because so many people are there with someone, there's not the same impetus to force yourself to come out your shell and speak to others whereas unless a single man wants to walk round alone, he has to! Likewise there are often more single woman as a result, same detail.

Plus it has often seemed as if more people go with friends on couples nights so they're already set for the night.

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By *oved Up 2Couple
over a year ago

nottingham

We avoid couples only nights at our club of choice for the reasons a lot have outlined in this thread. The club can be packed but no one is playing. More interested in strutting around and getting d*unk. Much prefer mixed or bi nights. Everyone seems to be more chilled and definitely friendlier

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Often quite predatory, and can sometimes seem deeply offended when I let them know I'm not looking for couples. Some accuse me of not being a "real" swinger if I'm a single woman not interested in couples.

*shrug*

Shame some people can't see the benefit of having a broad network in the swinging scene.

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By *ertsguy2000Man
over a year ago

hertford

Apologies as this is probably a little off theme of the original thread, but I’ve read the above with interest.

Complete club virgin but looking to break that very soon, and will openly admit it fills me with dread!! You see I don’t want to be that single male, the one the couples talk about as being ‘predatory’!! Would be my worst nightmare to be seen that way. But then the thing is, what do I do, who do I try and strike a conversation up with? Or do I just sit there waiting for someone to approach me??

I’m sure my fears are irrational, and as you get on here, you’ll find people to chat to, but it is a worry. The last thing I would want to be seen as is that ‘creepy guy’ !?

Any advice would be hugely appreciated, either on here or by PM, something I really want to try as I think it will be so much better to chat to ladies and couples in the flesh.

I have so many questions about the club scene and the protocol / etiquette behind it all

Please help

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

A creep is likely to be creepy wherever he is, whether it's the local Wetherspoons or a swingers club. People in there are normal people the same people you would see at a supermarket at the petrol station around your town. Behave in the normal way talk to people chat to people be approachable in the same way you would anywhere else.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Apologies as this is probably a little off theme of the original thread, but I’ve read the above with interest.

I’m sure my fears are irrational, and as you get on here, you’ll find people to chat to, but it is a worry. The last thing I would want to be seen as is that ‘creepy guy’ !?

Any advice would be hugely appreciated, either on here or by PM, something I really want to try as I think it will be so much better to chat to ladies and couples in the flesh.

I have so many questions about the club scene and the protocol / etiquette behind it all

Please help

Jeez mate, you've met Lady Lick! I would quit while you're ahead lol

Being a single guy in a club; just smile at anyone who catches your eye, a polite "Hi, are you a regular here?" should get any conversation going, and avoid joining the Conga line of single guys patrolling the play areas

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Apologies as this is probably a little off theme of the original thread, but I’ve read the above with interest.

I’m sure my fears are irrational, and as you get on here, you’ll find people to chat to, but it is a worry. The last thing I would want to be seen as is that ‘creepy guy’ !?

Any advice would be hugely appreciated, either on here or by PM, something I really want to try as I think it will be so much better to chat to ladies and couples in the flesh.

I have so many questions about the club scene and the protocol / etiquette behind it all

Please help

Jeez mate, you've met Lady Lick! I would quit while you're ahead lol

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