FabSwingers.com forum: Club scene advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey everyone so i have been given advice to try the club side of things. The only issue i have is that i have read single guys are overwhelming in numbers aswell as been pushy, rude, and unwanted.

I dont want to be labled as them things nor do i want to be making the single numbers bigger.

Im genuine and do want to be part of the scene but it feels like my chances will be squished from the single reputation.

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

If you can go along to a Club, hold a conversation with people and treat people with respect then you will be welcome.

Just remember if you are chatting to a couple, chat to both of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would always chat to both as a couple. Im very respectful like that as if i was one of the couples and the single guy just aimed at the female i would find it rude. Thanks for the heads up tho.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Chat to people, be friendly and not pushy. Don't go with expectations. Go to socialise and if anything more happens its a bonus x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I would never go expecting anything. Guess i am going to have to suck it up and go. Thanks

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

Choose where you want to go and check out some meets and see if anyone else is going so you can have a nice chat with no expectations beforehand. When you go ,dont be afraid to just mingle with people beforehand, mingle with people and dont be afraid to just chat with them. The rest will follow. If nothing happens you will still have had a good night out getting to know some new people. Some single guys follow people relentlessly in some clubs. I dont see that in a club I go to but have seen it in many clubs I have been in in the past x They dont do themselves any favours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check clubs reviews, see which one floats your boat. Then check the club's website to see what requirements they have for single men. And when the single men are allowed in, don't just turn up at the door as you may not be allowed in.

Once you decide when you'd like to go, contact the club. Also, check their website again regarding dress code- some clubs are 'dress down' clubs, where what you are initially wearing doesn't matter. But most have rather strict policy on what they want people to wear- I think you can never go wrong with smart casual, as you want to impress people that are in the club.

When you get to the club, try to be social. Ask staff for a tour. Talk to people, don't just stare. Go with no expectations, like it was already mentioned. If you need to be verified and that's your main reason for going, ask staff, they'd be more than happy to verify you.

Hot tubs and bar areas in clubs are usually the best places to socialise.

If you see a couple playing in an open area, always ask if you could join before just 'helping yourself'. Just because they are playing in open area, it doesn't mean they want others to join them. They might just like being watched.

Last but not least- please do not join the ranks of 'wanking dead'. Those are single guys who walk around with just towels or dressing gowns, who tend to follow couples and wank, without even chatting.

Good luck

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By *erkshireBiCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"Hey everyone so i have been given advice to try the club side of things. The only issue i have is that i have read single guys are overwhelming in numbers aswell as been pushy, rude, and unwanted.

I dont want to be labled as them things nor do i want to be making the single numbers bigger.

Im genuine and do want to be part of the scene but it feels like my chances will be squished from the single reputation. "

Go for it.

Its how we met as a couple.

Choose the club you like by listening to like minded friends, all clubs are different.

Be open minded, polite and patient.

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By *erkshireBiCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"Check clubs reviews, see which one floats your boat. Then check the club's website to see what requirements they have for single men. And when the single men are allowed in, don't just turn up at the door as you may not be allowed in.

Hot tubs and bar areas in clubs are usually the best places to socialise.

Good luck"

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

Each club has its own style. Yes "zombie" like single guys are a turn off, but so too are "stand offish" couples, "ice cold" single girls or "loud and loutish" gangs of single blokes out for a grab and tug ... do the research, try out each place, never be underwhelmed ... it is what it is.

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"Each club has its own style. Yes "zombie" like single guys are a turn off, but so too are "stand offish" couples, "ice cold" single girls or "loud and loutish" gangs of single blokes out for a grab and tug ... do the research, try out each place, never be underwhelmed ... it is what it is."

This is so true x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your advice and help on it all. Im defently going to do some research and look for a club that is more up my street. I did not know clubs did different things and gave different styles. Thats a massive heads up so thank you for that.

Im a easy going respectful friendly guy so it sounds like aslong as i stick to my ways im going to be ok.

Guys and girls if you ever see me in the club dont be shy to come say hi. I would appreciate it and think it would put me at ease a bit more.

Thank you again John

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey everyone so i have been given advice to try the club side of things. The only issue i have is that i have read single guys are overwhelming in numbers aswell as been pushy, rude, and unwanted.

I dont want to be labled as them things nor do i want to be making the single numbers bigger.

Im genuine and do want to be part of the scene but it feels like my chances will be squished from the single reputation. "

Ive seen isseues with men being rude etc, i think that is why single men tend to be shunned somewhat.

I personally find it harder to socialise or even have a social interaction such as just saying hello to someone, their reaction being a curt reply or just blanking you. Unlike saying hello in a pub, in a swingers club they may think your just wantin to shag them . Staff are great though, If your a regular they may warm to you though, as kike anywhere else, you get all types of people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You have hit the nail on the head. I dont want to be labled as i just want a shag or want to be intrusive. And my thoughts are that people will be curt and blank me because of what they think im after.

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By *erkshireBiCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"You have hit the nail on the head. I dont want to be labled as i just want a shag or want to be intrusive. And my thoughts are that people will be curt and blank me because of what they think im after. "

In our opinion.

Forget other guys, just be yourself. You may make mistakes along the way, we all do.

Learn from them.

Everyone is different.

Every club is different.

Every meet is different.

Its the spice of life

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Hey everyone so i have been given advice to try the club side of things. The only issue i have is that i have read single guys are overwhelming in numbers aswell as been pushy, rude, and unwanted.

I dont want to be labled as them things nor do i want to be making the single numbers bigger.

Im genuine and do want to be part of the scene but it feels like my chances will be squished from the single reputation. "

2 things....

1) only you determine your reputation... no one else! I don't affect you and you certainly don't affect me....

2) there is a simple way to be not seen as being rude and pushy... and that is NOT to be rude or pushy

if you go and talk to people you are already making yourself stand out....

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By *erkshireBiCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"Hey everyone so i have been given advice to try the club side of things. The only issue i have is that i have read single guys are overwhelming in numbers aswell as been pushy, rude, and unwanted.

I dont want to be labled as them things nor do i want to be making the single numbers bigger.

Im genuine and do want to be part of the scene but it feels like my chances will be squished from the single reputation.

2 things....

1) only you determine your reputation... no one else! I don't affect you and you certainly don't affect me....

2) there is a simple way to be not seen as being rude and pushy... and that is NOT to be rude or pushy

if you go and talk to people you are already making yourself stand out...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

As a fellow male Singleton who has attended 14 of the clubs throughout the UK, I have this advise!

Don’t be a dick! It’s really that simple...

Your see idiot males “hunt” for their prey, follow females as if the lady’s going to swoon with amazement that this “hunk” thinks she worthy...the best ones are those who look into a hot tub, see no females and leave.. then either follow the females in, or upon another inspection spot a Female / Couple and assume that their presence is required.

More often than not, just start to grab without invitation or chat?

Also the same level of cock, will stand in front of you, if your admiring a couple playing in an open area, oh he’ll also start to wank his little cock as well!

So talk to people, even males, not suggesting your bi/gay but it’s a friendly atmosphere that’s trying to be created. Couples and single females will let you know if your welcome.

Oh and don’t go knocking on closed doors, even heard of a guy putting on a females voice trying to get in! Douch bag

Have fun, relax and don’t have expectations. If it’s sex your after, go pay for it! If it happens at a club then great for all involved. Be a gent and not a cock!

Happy fabbing

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Best advise is to talk to folk. Majority of people won't blank you, although there is always the odd one or two. But a big part of swinging is the social part.

A good opener is " hi , I am xxxx mind if I talk to you for a few minutes "

People know that you want to chat and you can always pop back to them later if you got on ok. Couples or singles are more likely to have fun with someone they recognise from earlier in the evening, than a stranger that walks by. ( that's how it works in my local club anyway )

Be pleasant , friendly and look smart. Check the dress code for the club . Just go expecting a pleasant evening , meeting a few new people and see how it goes .

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