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Difficulty meeting people in club

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We've been to a club a number of times now and apart from the first time we went, we've struggled in those first steps of meeting new people.

We've arranged to meet people there and that's worked out as any social/maybe play would but when having that random night out it's not always visible to arrange.

I know it's not guaranteed to play but been left wondering what we're doing wrong, if anything?

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By *esires of HertsCouple
over a year ago

Herts and London Borders

Try playing in a couples room with yourselves and its not unusual for other couplesto approach you...and take it from there

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Chat to people earlier in the evening. Just smile and natter about where they are from, have they been on the scene long etc.

You need to make an effort to talk to people and then when you get on with someone, you can then ask if they would be interested in joining you later.

I don't think waiting in the hope that people will ask you or join you works. Most people like some communication first.

But what would I know, as I am not a couple

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Chat to people earlier in the evening. Just smile and natter about where they are from, have they been on the scene long etc.

You need to make an effort to talk to people and then when you get on with someone, you can then ask if they would be interested in joining you later.

I don't think waiting in the hope that people will ask you or join you works. Most people like some communication first.

But what would I know, as I am not a couple

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We'll usually do some polite small talk at the bar early on. Then if we see someone who's obviously on their own (single or a new couple) then we'll go over and say hi. Beyond that, we usually just go and do our own thing in an open play room and see who comes along Oh and hottubs are great ice breakers!

We had a really awkward night in a club last year where we tried to start up a chat with several couples. It was our first time at that club and it felt very much like they just weren't into new people.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I find it hard to approach people in clubs. I do wonder if it might be harder for couples, in a way, because you're already a unit and might inadvertently appear closed off. (it is easier for me as a youngish woman, people do tend to approach me eventually)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stand at the bar, you can always start a conversation with anyone that comes up to get drinks, they are a captive audience for a couple of minutes.

Then just use your natural charm and good looks to get in their pants!!

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By *aptain VMan
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester


"We've been to a club a number of times now and apart from the first time we went, we've struggled in those first steps of meeting new people.

We've arranged to meet people there and that's worked out as any social/maybe play would but when having that random night out it's not always visible to arrange.

I know it's not guaranteed to play but been left wondering what we're doing wrong, if anything? "

I think some times with couples people will not approach them due to the body language as they think the couple are not interested or want to be left alone. It can be difficult but maybe chat at the bar or speak with other couples.

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By *aydeesclubCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

You could always try out our club Jaydees, we have some great reviews on how friendly a club we are and how newbie couples are always recommended to come here first.

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Try playing in a couples room with yourselves and its not unusual for other couplesto approach you...and take it from there "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just try talking to people early in the evening, the longer you leave it, the harder it will become both in your head and because people will become paired off. Going off a playing on your own and waiting for people to join you is mice in theory but in practise it doesn’t work well, people tend to be less communicative in the play areas and you may not know what these people want to do sexually. On a more frightening front, some people will target the timid and quiet playing on there own, knowing full well they can probably force there own type of play and what they want onto them. Be aware

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We struggle to play with new people in clubs as well OP.

Ours is mostly down to we don’t know if someone’s just being nice and friendly by chatting or they’re interested in playing.

Either way though you’ll never know if you don’t talk to others. Some people might think your there as a FB couple wanting a place to play or 2 singles using the club to meet.

Just my 2p

Mr xx

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

It is strange how many of us have the same issues. We find when we go to clubs that you do have to get out of your comfort zone and go and talk to people. To start with we were a bit nervous in case our partner was not interested, but we have each got more confident in ourselves and our feelings.

To make things easier, we tend to put down a club meet to show when we are going, then ‘friends’, people who have ‘hotlisted us’ (short list ) and others going can see if we take there fancy. It is much easier striking up a bit of banter beforehand and then having someone to talk to when you go. It doesn’t always mean that we click with people when we meet them, but it does break the ice!

We will have to start venturing out again soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have never had problems having fun in a club but b is very outgoing and he can chat for England plus he thinks he is a comedian lol

For those who are shy we would suggest going to a club with a jacussi. Stark naked and being in very close proximity ensures you tend to chat hopes this helps

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

Not sure how its difficult?..you see someone you like in a club,you approach them. Introduce yourself and if they like you guys then you play. Or do you mean you're not sure how to initiate that conversation in the first place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be hard sometimes but as we don't use clubs very offen we find them a bit clickly.

Everyone seems to know everyone else hard then.

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By *arah_kieran_ukCouple
over a year ago

Greater London

For us we feel far more comfortable being approached by or approaching a couple when we’re playing if we’ve spoken with them earlier in the night at the bar. We try to talk to a few different couples just so we can meet new people but also so we can get a feel for who we would like to play with and who we wouldn’t. When we started we thought it would all be on looks ina club but we’ve completed changed our thinking, for us there has to be a spark whilst chatting or it would be a no go for us.

Try chatting to others for the first couple of hours and hopefully that will lay the right foundation for play later on.

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is strange how many of us have the same issues. We find when we go to clubs that you do have to get out of your comfort zone and go and talk to people. To start with we were a bit nervous in case our partner was not interested, but we have each got more confident in ourselves and our feelings.

To make things easier, we tend to put down a club meet to show when we are going, then ‘friends’, people who have ‘hotlisted us’ (short list ) and others going can see if we take there fancy. It is much easier striking up a bit of banter beforehand and then having someone to talk to when you go. It doesn’t always mean that we click with people when we meet them, but it does break the ice!

We will have to start venturing out again soon "

We'd agree with the idea of posting a meet in advance, a chat can turn to flirting can turn to foreplay, meaning you're hitting the ground running in the club

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By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Saw a really clever area in a club recently lovely long sofa area and tastefully decorated sign clearly stating pick up point sounds tacky but it cleverly works very well as people who were shy could sit and more confident players could quite happily spark up opening conversation as the initial signal had already been made purly by the action of sitting in the area ! Win win ! And it worked lol

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

I'm an advocate of wristbands that show peoples interests, i think they can break the ice and save unwanted attention. I've never see them utilised though and I've asked staff and even they didn't know what they meant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm an advocate of wristbands that show peoples interests, i think they can break the ice and save unwanted attention. I've never see them utilised though and I've asked staff and even they didn't know what they meant."

Ah I was going to say the same about the wrist bands. I was at Jaydees yesterday....club on the Beds Cambs border just off A1 at St Neots....and I saw they have a wrist band policy, orange if you're female and looking for guys and purple if you're bi or looking for a couple. Great idea I thought. Also I went alone for my first time at Jaydees and I found it relaxed friendly and I was approached in a very nice way by couples. They chatted to me generally then messaged me on Fab so non pushy. Hence I have returned and now a regular.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I have a “L”, she is sexy, sassy and there are a lot of two legged donkeys around where we live.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

If there’s no one at the bar to chat to, we find jumping in the hot tub helps! Or sauna. Breaks the ice. Even if you don’t want to play with who talks, it makes for a lovely social evening x

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"If there’s no one at the bar to chat to, we find jumping in the hot tub helps! Or sauna. Breaks the ice. Even if you don’t want to play with who talks, it makes for a lovely social evening x"

Smiles) should imagine a hot tub or sauna would break ice.

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