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Best club for single fem first-timer

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x"

So I would definitely recommend going with a female friend if nervous. Not going to tell fibs you may get some unwanted attention as not every guy understands boundaries. Cupid's is really good for a first time single female as the staff will take great care of you if you ask. Bruce is a diamond for this.

As far as going on your own is concerned their is nothing wrong with it and a lot of women do. You are right though. Clubs are amazing.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Hey, you will not be pressured and if there is even a hint of it, start talking to the bar staff, they will sort it.

So underestimated those the work the social area.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

See a club that you like, (the nearer the better, so you can visit it more often) email them and wait for the rapport to kick in. A good club will entice you in straight away.

Then go along for your first night. Tell them you are nervous when you first email them and when you turn up. A good host will put you at ease.

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x"

Try AtlantisEVOLUTION in Stoke-on-Trent, sexy nightclub vibe downstairs with playrooms upstairs. Check out the reviews on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x

So I would definitely recommend going with a female friend if nervous. Not going to tell fibs you may get some unwanted attention as not every guy understands boundaries. Cupid's is really good for a first time single female as the staff will take great care of you if you ask. Bruce is a diamond for this.

As far as going on your own is concerned their is nothing wrong with it and a lot of women do. You are right though. Clubs are amazing."

To clarify 99.9% of men in clubs do understand that no means no, but some have a habit of pestering or they like to follow. Lots and lots of great people go to clubs though and are respectful and interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice peeps. Don't get me wrong, I'm no shrinking violet.. I'm Irish so men who try and push their luck will get told where to go lol. I just don't want for that to happen on a first visit and for it to ruin my perception of the club scene xx

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I would gladly accompany you as a buddy, but distance and your filters prevent me from doing so. As a single female, most clubs would be very happy to see you come through their doors, or mine for that matter!

If you're ever near Peterborough, then I would recommend JAYDEES, 30 miles down the A1(M), with its massive jacuzzi. Check it out, it's more like a pool. After working 50+ hours a week, their sauna and jacuzzi should be what the doctor ordered. Come on in it's lovely here.

You're more than welcome to PM me. I've yet to be verified, but I've had some nice chats in the forums and my mailbox.

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By *over123Man
over a year ago

simonstone

I’d recommend No3 in Chorley very laid back atmosphere, they don’t let lots of single men in.

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By *ot_so_innocent1Woman
over a year ago

Birkenhead


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x"

The first time I went to a club was on my own. I found it a little easier as I messaged the hosts for quite a bit first however, I did choose quite a hardcore event for my first time.

Honestly, I can’t recommend townhouse enough. As the downstairs is more just like being in a bar you will just feel like you’ve gone into your local pub for a drink and the people are really friendly.

I’d say check out the events and see which ones take your fancy. My particular favourite event there is Harlots and there is one on the next Thursday. It’s just the type of event that feels quite sophisticated. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy others but Harlots is definitely one of my favourites.

I have been to a few clubs now but still, townhouse is possibly the only one I’d still feel comfortable going in as a single female xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the advice peeps. Don't get me wrong, I'm no shrinking violet.. I'm Irish so men who try and push their luck will get told where to go lol. I just don't want for that to happen on a first visit and for it to ruin my perception of the club scene xx"

Do you like theme nights? I find them to be more relaxed and fun. Great introduction to clubs imho. I agree townhouse is a really well run club with excellent staff.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Firstly if you're not looking for single guys, I would recommend visiting on couples nights. You will probably have a much more relaxed time.

The other thing I'd say though is don't be offended. If you're getting attention from someone who doesn't interest you... just tell them in a friendly and relaxed way. Often people over react to the single guys and that can make it FEEL like you're being harassed. If you just tell guys, "sorry but you're not what I'm looking for tonight" then they'll generally move on. It's good to chat with people though, it's perfectly normal to chat with people you're not interested in as well as those that you are.

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single Fem for your first time head to a couples and single Fem night, closest to you will be No3 and infusions on a Saturday is always good I also like cupids. No always means no I love the club scene. Enjoy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We recommend cupids! Wednesday are couples and females only evenings and this is a great night to try

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"Firstly if you're not looking for single guys, I would recommend visiting on couples nights. You will probably have a much more relaxed time.

The other thing I'd say though is don't be offended. If you're getting attention from someone who doesn't interest you... just tell them in a friendly and relaxed way. Often people over react to the single guys and that can make it FEEL like you're being harassed. If you just tell guys, "sorry but you're not what I'm looking for tonight" then they'll generally move on. It's good to chat with people though, it's perfectly normal to chat with people you're not interested in as well as those that you are.

Cal"

Such great advice! People enjoy spending time with someone friendly who makes the effort all round, not just a laser like focus only on the people they’re interested in bumping uglies with!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about for single men?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"What about for single men? "

Same applies. Be social. Talk to people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about for single men?

Same applies. Be social. Talk to people. "

You can come with me

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

Spoilt for choice in the north west. Cupids, Townhouse,Infusion. All great in their own way. Tell the staff it is your first time and you are a bit wary. They will keep an eye out for you. Do not be afraid to say no. Find your voice early on. Someone asks to play be direct if you are not interested. A polite no thank you should suffice, dont be wishy washy and say maybe later cos they will hound you all night (unless you genuiniely are not sure then it's a good tool to out the pushy ones). If you feel pressured by anyone tell the staff.

Be wary about single men offering to take you. They have their own agenda, the club will assume you are a couple and that may leave you vulnerable if you have chosen a dickhead.

Relax and have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Spoilt for choice in the north west. Cupids, Townhouse,Infusion. All great in their own way. Tell the staff it is your first time and you are a bit wary. They will keep an eye out for you. Do not be afraid to say no. Find your voice early on. Someone asks to play be direct if you are not interested. A polite no thank you should suffice, dont be wishy washy and say maybe later cos they will hound you all night (unless you genuiniely are not sure then it's a good tool to out the pushy ones). If you feel pressured by anyone tell the staff.

Be wary about single men offering to take you. They have their own agenda, the club will assume you are a couple and that may leave you vulnerable if you have chosen a dickhead.

Relax and have fun."

Exactly this riverdeep.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool


" Tell the staff it is your first time and you are a bit wary. They will keep an eye out for you. Do not be afraid to say no. Find your voice early on. Someone asks to play be direct if you are not interested. A polite no thank you should suffice

Be wary about single men offering to take you. They have their own agenda, the club will assume you are a couple and that may leave you vulnerable if you have chosen a dickhead.

Relax and have fun."

Couldn't have said it better! xx

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth


"What about for single men?

Same applies. Be social. Talk to people.

You can come with me "

Erm?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My personal feeling is that it can be overwhelming on your own and stressed me out a bit. I only stayed a few hours. It depends on the kind of person you are, happy to chat if you want to. I'd be happy to go with you as a mate if you like xx

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By *esterLilacCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x"

We briefly messaged you last night after your comment on the Liverpool Social thread. Shame you couldn’t make it. I’ll message you properly today while we aren’t tipsy ha. We are the ‘Newbies & Notsos’ hosts at Townhouse and we also host some of the other events. More than happy to answer any questions you have about clubs and the scene so feel free to fire some at us. X

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'll also put in a vote for Cupids. The rules are clear and clearly enforced, the culture is good, the staff are friendly. Even the potentially benign but annoying being followed around thing happens much less at Cupids than elsewhere in my experience.

I've been to clubs alone three times now, and twice it was Cupids (both times after a terrible night at another Manchester club at which I'd recommend a bodyguard not just a friend, ick). It can be weird going on your own, and you need to watch yourself a bit, but it is doable and you can have a great time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for your replies! It's been really helpful. I will be sure to post an update when I take the 'plunge' for the first time

A xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and look for newbies events and follow a thread and see if they are any mutual newbies looking to go, I know TH specifically do one I myself attended as a newbie there. And I was fine xx

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By *ECADANCE CLUB ROCHDALECouple
over a year ago

ROCHDALE


"Hi all,

The clubs sound fantastic but I've never been to one before so unsure what to expect. I'm not a seasoned/hardcore swinger so my main concern is feeling pressured by strangers if I happen to not be feeling the vibe. What clubs in the North West would be best for me as a first-timer? Is it weird for a single girl to turn up by herself or should I find a buddy first?

Thanks in advance.

A x"

Hi this is mandy at Decadance. Just letting you know I have been involved in swingers clubs for almost 30 years. I own and run decadance from a woman's perspective and it is always the woman that is in control. If you want to pop in anytime for a chat please do so. My other personal profile is bacup.

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By *DDYMan
over a year ago

sheffield

hi , as your profile says you are only interested in couples and single fems you would be better off going to a couples night , that way you won,t be pestered by single men . Alternatively , go to a social event at a club first , La Chambre in Sheffield is having one this Saturday . Good luck anyway ….

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