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First time at a club (couple), what do we expect?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi everyone. Posting on my own profile but on behalf of me and my partner.

We have really got into fab but it seems to be very hot and miss. Fair enough we are a bit shy but both think that getting to a club will help us out a lot.

However, neither of us have been before and have no clue at all what to expect.

We are from Manchester and have seen there are many different ones to choose from and are a bit overwhelmed! Plus we don't yet know anyone else into swinging so we will be on our own.

As first timers, what are we to generally expect? I know thats a bit of a broad question but it's the simplest way I can put it. I fear that we will not get equal opportunity and that the focus will be all on my partner instead of us as a couple.

Any tips and recommendations would be fantastic. If you could help pop our club cherry then even better!

All the best, B & K x

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering


"Hi everyone. Posting on my own profile but on behalf of me and my partner.

We have really got into fab but it seems to be very hot and miss. Fair enough we are a bit shy but both think that getting to a club will help us out a lot.

However, neither of us have been before and have no clue at all what to expect.

We are from Manchester and have seen there are many different ones to choose from and are a bit overwhelmed! Plus we don't yet know anyone else into swinging so we will be on our own.

As first timers, what are we to generally expect? I know thats a bit of a broad question but it's the simplest way I can put it. I fear that we will not get equal opportunity and that the focus will be all on my partner instead of us as a couple.

Any tips and recommendations would be fantastic. If you could help pop our club cherry then even better!

All the best, B & K x"

Hi B & K. As part of the team at The Vanilla Alternative, I am regularly introducing many people to the club scene. Generally I would say just treat your visit as a social night out amongst other people that are there for the very same reason as yourselves. Walking up to complete strangers and talking to them in a normal club may be regarded as invading their privacy but in swinging clubs it's the complete opposite as regulars expect complete strangers to socialise with them.

Beyond the socialising, just take things at your own pace. There is no ultimate goal to reach as swinging clubs are all things to all people. You will no doubt have discussed your fantasies and limits with your partner, so use that as a base line for what you may get up to. Some visits will be better than others so don't judge the result from just one visit. It's all down to the dynamics of the people that are there on any one occasion.

Clubs are not for everyone but for those of us that really enjoy the socialising and fun that may happen afterwards, they are one of the best ways of experiencing a couple of hours of adult fun in a safe environment with other likeminded people.

Enjoy!

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By *inkyman1964Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent


"Hi everyone. Posting on my own profile but on behalf of me and my partner.

We have really got into fab but it seems to be very hot and miss. Fair enough we are a bit shy but both think that getting to a club will help us out a lot.

However, neither of us have been before and have no clue at all what to expect.

We are from Manchester and have seen there are many different ones to choose from and are a bit overwhelmed! Plus we don't yet know anyone else into swinging so we will be on our own.

As first timers, what are we to generally expect? I know thats a bit of a broad question but it's the simplest way I can put it. I fear that we will not get equal opportunity and that the focus will be all on my partner instead of us as a couple.

Any tips and recommendations would be fantastic. If you could help pop our club cherry then even better!

All the best, B & K x"

Try to decide which type of Club you want to try first. Some are more like a normal nightclub, dress to impress, drinks, chat, dance and maybe more in separate areas. Others are more like a spa type, dress down, hot tub, sauna style. Checkout the reviews section on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try Townhouse in Birkenhead, they are a great club for newbies and have a great social area

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Some good advice here so far OP, just a few things I would add.

Every club is different and what one person/couple like others won't so you need to make up your own mind. Have a look at the club reviews and club websites to help you decide which club to try.

One very important thing for couples is to set your ground rules before you go and stick to them. If you don't do this it can cause issues in your relationship.

It's ok to choose to not play at a club. On my first visit I just wanted to have a look around and get a feel for the place - I definitely didn't want to play. Everyone was very respectful of this and I was made welcome.

It's normal to be nervous. Everyone at clubs was a newbie once and we have all felt the same.

Make sure you ask for a tour when you get to the club. Most clubs will be happy to show you around, explain the etiquette and rules (and what to do if anyone breaks them) and introduce you to a few people.

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By *oodGirlGoneBlackWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I work at Cupid’s and understand how scary a first club visit can be, we always make sure new customers are given a tour of the club and how everything works is explained but I would say one of the most important things to remember is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and nobody is allowed to touch you without your permission. The best thing to do is go along and talk to people swinging clubs are normally very social places so please don’t feel you would be left out as newbies, if you have any specific questions please feel free to message me xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you ever so much, and thank you to everyone who has replied so far too! You have really helped us to feel at ease. Heard a lot of good things about Cupid's and it's very close to us too! Would love to come along and see how things go x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

And GoodGirlGoneBad16, I tried to message but I'm out of your age range! xx

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By *esterLilacCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire


"Hi everyone. Posting on my own profile but on behalf of me and my partner.

We have really got into fab but it seems to be very hot and miss. Fair enough we are a bit shy but both think that getting to a club will help us out a lot.

However, neither of us have been before and have no clue at all what to expect.

We are from Manchester and have seen there are many different ones to choose from and are a bit overwhelmed! Plus we don't yet know anyone else into swinging so we will be on our own.

As first timers, what are we to generally expect? I know thats a bit of a broad question but it's the simplest way I can put it. I fear that we will not get equal opportunity and that the focus will be all on my partner instead of us as a couple.

Any tips and recommendations would be fantastic. If you could help pop our club cherry then even better!

All the best, B & K x"

We host the ‘Newbies & Notsos’ nights at Townhouse Club but we offer plenty of hosted nights and parties to suit lots of different dynamics. Our hosts and club buddies are there to give you a tour, explain how it all works and introduce you to the regulars. If you’re finding Fab a bit hit and miss it’s much easier in a club to meet people, socialise and get loads of swinging advice from others.

If you have any questions, feel free to message us x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread, good post OP and great responses, we have our first club visit to Xtasia a week on Saturday - we are nervous of the unknown but have set our boundaries as a couple and go with no expectations other than a nice night out with open minded people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first club visit was to Partners in Bury, we’ve since been to a lot of other clubs in the last few years and had great nights at them all. What I would say is to make a list of the clubs you’re interested in and then check their website for what is planned on the night you’re planning to go as you don’t want to turn up and find a place closed for a private event or a fetish night if that’s not what you’re looking for, most clubs will have an etiquette section on their website explaining how they work. Some clubs are dress down clubs for example - you’re expected not to wear street clothes anywhere in the club and to change into lingerie or a towel upon arrival, which might not be for everyone, other clubs will let you wear what you want (within reason!) and just ‘dress down’ to access the play areas etc.

Make sure you let the staff know it’s your first visit and they’ll show you around, if it’s going to be a busy night then arrive early to make sure they have the time to show you around. Also worth letting them know you’ve never been to a club before as we did this and were introduced to some regulars who were great in helping us find our feet and introducing us to other club members. Make sure you go prepared so take your ID, money and pack a bag full of the essentials you might need. Even if you’re nervous try chatting with people as everyone has had their first visit at some point and felt the same. Clubs are great you won’t look back

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