FabSwingers.com forum: Double standard?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yeah that's not acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They won’t kick out the bait that brings £££ into the club

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?"

Or if you complained,it would have been called flirting or playful banter

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I wonder what would have happened if you'd reported her? To be booted out the staff would need to know I assume.

I think the rules on that sort of thing should apply equally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All should be treated the same whatever the gender. Did you let someone know at the club or are you assuming nothing would be done.

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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago

swingers clubs

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?"

Absolutely agree with you there, as much as Single guys get a bad press in the clubs (and to be honest...Some of it is deserved - the wanking dead no who they are).

The women can have a tendency to get a little more, well...handsy shall we say. With both of us.

For all the moaning, groaning, shuffling zombies are annoying. They tend at least to be too frightened to reach out and make a move. Whereas, the are women, and couples in the clubs that think they can touch whoever they want without invite.

We, personally are not fans of the 'women are in charge rule'. At the end of the day, everyone is equally in charge of their own bodies. We prefer a 'if you speak to us at the bar you may (OR MAY NOT) get an invite. Otherwise keep the fuck off' policy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?"

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?"

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

At the club that i mainly frequent, i have seen a lady ejected for doing exactly that. She interfered with the gent of a couple without asking, was reported to the management, and five minutes later was sent out. So yes, in a properly run club, both gents and ladies are looked after and respected properly.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it."

OP you can't second guess the reaction of the club management. A well run club will deal with this in exactly the same way as they would if it was a man. By choosing not to report this you are sending out a message that says this kind of behaviour is OK. Breaking the rules is not acceptable regardless of gender.

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By *mber DextrousWoman
over a year ago

Devon

I don't think it's acceptable from either gender but if you don't tell staff it's all a bit hypothetical discussing what they might or might not have done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it.

Also sending out a message that the single bloke has no sense of humor and will get you kicked out so stay away because he's trouble.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

London

Did she hurt or abuse you?

Why do people always thing the same rule appeal to the other sex. Somethings are just going to be like that. Not double standard in my eyes, though she should not have done it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?"

You know the answer.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it."

To an extent lots of us do this. It's partly because you have the gift of empathy and partly because society tells us that men should enjoy sexual attention from women whatever the circumstances.

As a woman I don't think it's trivial or that you're silly. We can't ask for equality with exceptions.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Did you report the incident to the club management immediately after the incident?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

Absolutely agree with you there, as much as Single guys get a bad press in the clubs (and to be honest...Some of it is deserved - the wanking dead no who they are).

The women can have a tendency to get a little more, well...handsy shall we say. With both of us.

XY"
I've always found the worst offenders to be women.

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By *ewbieand experiencedCouple
over a year ago

basildon

u would need to complain to find out. Hate double standards like going to bi only party an finding out straight guys there.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it.

Also sending out a message that the single bloke has no sense of humor and will get you kicked out so stay away because he's trouble."

no... but i think you are finding ways to twist it back into the "oh woe i be a man" narrative....

seriously though... unless someone is wearing a t-shirt that says "i'm a world champion mindreader" I assume that unless you tell management they will not know...

bad behaviour is bad behaviour regardless.....

i had a women come up to me and apologise for remarks she had made about me, and it was others who had also heard what was said that went to management and told them... I actually was going to be dignified and let it slide, because quite frankly to me an arse is an arse regardless of who they are...

but then it struck me after that if they thought that behaviour/ language was fine with me, then i was not the first person they had probably used that with... and people only get away with thinking something is find until people stand up and say "no, it isn't!!!"

if people see bad behaviour it puts off people from that person....

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By *oodGirlGoneBlackWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I work in Cupids and if a guy was to report a woman had acted inappropriately towards him it would be dealt with in exactly the same way depending on exactly what happened would depend on what action was taken but it would be equal for a man or a woman, but like others have said staff can only deal with problems if they are told about them x

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"bad behaviour is bad behaviour regardless..... .."

Nice theory.

But in the real world, a woman complaining becomes the queen of vulnerability. A man complaining is told to "get a grip", that "I bet you enjoyed it really", "broad shoulders old chap", "stiff upper lip old boy", "big boys don't cry" and any other cliche that you care to name.

If on the other hand your other half complained on your behalf...you might get somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"bad behaviour is bad behaviour regardless..... ..

Nice theory.

If on the other hand your other half complained on your behalf...you might get somewhere.

This is why I didn't say anything.

This is not a woe be me post. It's a genuine issue that men face. Women have had to face it for years and I'm not trying to undermine their experiences. I've seen this type of behavior elsewhere when a woman tried to remove a man's pants and he ended up having to shout at her.

I go to a few clubs on regular basis and see all kinds of behavior, each to their own and all that. But this kind of behavior usually goes unreported for the reasons shown above.

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

If it bothered you, which it clearly has you should have reported it.

Early in our swinging life we were at a club and a woman literally pushed me out of the way to go down on my wife. We were too stunned to actually do anything at the time but these days an incident like that would see me quite literally picking the person up and throwing them out of the room and complaining to the management.

We don't tolerate uninvited touching from either gender.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"I know im over reacting but at a club last night I was with my partner in an open room when a very d*unk lady just walked over and slapped me hard on the arse.

I was having an intimate moment with my other half but couldn't help wondering that if I had done that then I would be booted out of the club in a second.

Any thoughts?

What did the management do about it, when you told them?

That's the thing, I didn't. As a matter of fact I'm not only still justifying her actions I'm actually coming up with the responses in my head from the management.

It actually seems so trivial and silly that I feel stupid mentioning it.

This exactly - and has been our experience in all clubs we have attended.

You are not new to this OP, so why the hell did you not say anything?

In future act at the time, if you are unhappy with someone's behaviour.

Nita

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