FabSwingers.com forum: Couples that moan about singles

By *ikeC81 OP Man
over a year ago

harrow

I know this is going to be a bit of a contraversial topic. Now it is interesting when you see couples that have been a club on a mixed night then moaned as there was single guys at the club on club reviews

Now for me, if the couple is adamant that they are uncomfortable with single guys, go on a couples only night. That is what they are there for. I know couples that whilst dont play with single men prefer mixed nights as there are more single females, ans a more relaxed atmosphere.

For example I can’t go in to kfc and moan because they sell chicken. Single guys are important part of the scene. Ok yes you do get the dickheads but I have met dickhead couples and females also.

Don’t get me wrong I speak to couple and lady’s would I play with them all. Nope but would I have a chat of course I would. The scene is what you make it.

Having a chat and a natter doesn’t guarantee a fuck. What it does do is show that you know the difference between a fuck and being polite. I saw on Saturday where guys try to join in and they hadn’t even spoke to the lady or couple. Totally disrespectful.

Anyway I hope that couples that don’t like single guys to play with will still give single guys a chance to talk, and those that do like single guys keep inviting us to play

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

Agreed..... OP

But there is also some (some!)single guys at clubs that just go about things the wrong way. Ie not chatting and just making advances being one or chatting and not getting the reply they want from the couple to then go on and attempt to chase down the female whilst shes on her own, maybe to change her mind or whatever? Its just rude and disrespectful.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

Well said OP.

If you don't want single men then don't go to clubs on an evening where single men are welcomed, stick to couples only nights.

When I go to a club I chat to dozens of people, couples and singles. I love the social aspect and will have a natter with anyone.

The socially inept guys who think clubs are a brothel are a pain in the arse but the good guys far outnumber them.

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

I always think there aren't a enough single men, but can guarantee I will see a review or forum post where a couple state there were too many.

I believe if you don't like some of their behaviours or mannerisms then tell them, at least that way they're getting the opportunity to enhance within the club scene.

I've also said before that maybe I don't find men to be a problem because I'm looking for men, whereas I've found a lot of couples to be a nightmare

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By *our LamourCouple
over a year ago

'near that London'

Curious ?? ; why is it so many clubs have couples only nights on a Saturday ? It’s the busiest night of the week usually and as single guys usually pay more to get in you would have thought clubs would cash in?

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By *east88Couple
over a year ago

darlington

"Curious ?? ; why is it so many clubs have couples only nights on a Saturday ? It’s the busiest night of the week usually and as single guys usually pay more to get in you would have thought clubs would cash in? "

We agree we enjoy the single men aspect as that's what we are after, so it's a bummer that most clubs only allow it in a Friday, when it's easier for most to get there on a Saturday

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By *essandpatCouple
over a year ago

chester

Some clubs do a couples and single ladies night, no single guys x I attend the club where its couples and single men and ladies as I go on my own anyway x

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By *upidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

We were at Pandora's last Friday was supposed to be just couples & single females but they were allowing a few single males in too. We were just going back to club's after a year out & really weren't comfortable with one single guy especially not only touching my wife at the bar & was told to stop then he proceeded to follow us from room to room even when we'd shut doors. We left soon after, it just left a bad taste on an otherwise lovely evening.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I always think there aren't a enough single men, but can guarantee I will see a review or forum post where a couple state there were too many.

I believe if you don't like some of their behaviours or mannerisms then tell them, at least that way they're getting the opportunity to enhance within the club scene.

I've also said before that maybe I don't find men to be a problem because I'm looking for men, whereas I've found a lot of couples to be a nightmare

"
I know quite a few other hot single girls who would agree wholeheartedly.While I’m here as a single guy on frequent occasions I may couple up for a club night but rarely would any of my partners consider going to a couples only night.The ones I’ve attended seem to lack atmosphere and if you’re both looking to keep options open the hot ladies tend to be elsewhere as obviously do the guys

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"We were at Pandora's last Friday was supposed to be just couples & single females but they were allowing a few single males in too. We were just going back to club's after a year out & really weren't comfortable with one single guy especially not only touching my wife at the bar & was told to stop then he proceeded to follow us from room to room even when we'd shut doors. We left soon after, it just left a bad taste on an otherwise lovely evening."

If it's advertised as couples and single ladies, I would be annoyed if a club allowed single men in. Are you sure they were not part of a couple who had separated during the eve ?.

Did you report the nuisance guy to staff and what did they do ?

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By *east and belleCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

If it's advertised as couples and single ladies, I would be annoyed if a club allowed single men in. Are you sure they were not part of a couple who had separated during the eve ?.

Did you report the nuisance guy to staff and what did they do ? "

I noticed 2 or 3 guys who appeared to be single in there that same night. It was our first time we had gone to a club and also first time in the swinging scene. One chap did approach us whilst play but listened when I told him no, he then approached another couple in the same room who also said no and then left. I hadn't seen him downstairs earlier at all. Another chap just watched a min or two and went on his merry way without engaging with us.

It hasn't put us off but has certainly made us think coming to a night men are allowed might not be for us. We don't really want to swing but enjoying the social and the atmosphere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if the clubs big enough they should make an area for couples only .......

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By *upidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

If it's advertised as couples and single ladies, I would be annoyed if a club allowed single men in. Are you sure they were not part of a couple who had separated during the eve ?.

Did you report the nuisance guy to staff and what did they do ? "

They were definitely single men not part of a couple, staff at the bar said they had let a few in. Yes he was reported to the staff too, they said they would keep an eye on him. It's not put us off going back but it's certainly made us think couples nights are not just for couples.

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By *reddieTeresaCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We will only go to clubs when they allow single guys in. We wont always play with them and like to keep our options open in case we want to play with a couple. However we are always happy to chat to guys and even if we were to play with another couple will often be happy for a nice single guy to to join in with us. We will be in cupids this Friday so if you are a single guy then please feel free to come and talk to us. However, if we arent interested then please respect our wishes and move on!!

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"I always think there aren't a enough single men, but can guarantee I will see a review or forum post where a couple state there were too many.

I believe if you don't like some of their behaviours or mannerisms then tell them, at least that way they're getting the opportunity to enhance within the club scene.

I've also said before that maybe I don't find men to be a problem because I'm looking for men, whereas I've found a lot of couples to be a nightmare

I know quite a few other hot single girls who would agree wholeheartedly.While I’m here as a single guy on frequent occasions I may couple up for a club night but rarely would any of my partners consider going to a couples only night.The ones I’ve attended seem to lack atmosphere and if you’re both looking to keep options open the hot ladies tend to be elsewhere as obviously do the guys "
It happens bad behaviour in clubs but it’s not gender specific

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who tells the people that go to clubs what the rules are? If they watched swinger porn they might think everyone just gets in a big orgy. I've seen some guys ask in the forums about if they 'have' to join in on their first club visit.

They might not be disrespectful, they just might honestly not know what to do.

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

We went to one club it was our first club new on the scene

It was a mixed night which we wanted as my partner is bi we really enjoyed it till we went into the play room with another couple. Which I may add was a couples room a single bloke proced to enter couples room touched my wives bum ,she turned round told him to leave and not touch her he then tried again I got up told him to leave he left finally we told management as we were leaving as my wife didn't feel comfortable. Not saying all men are like this but some spoil it for the rest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's advertised as couples and single ladies, I would be annoyed if a club allowed single men in. Are you sure they were not part of a couple who had separated during the eve ?.

Did you report the nuisance guy to staff and what did they do ? "

We were joined in the jacuzzi once on couples nights at Pandora by a single man a few months back. We prefer couples only nights so have stuck to other clubs recently who stick to the advertised night. If it advertised no couples and we turned up we’d expect to be turned away and rightly so.

In reply to the OP we have been to plenty of mixed nights and never complained about single men being there it’s about the behaviour of some of them, staring me out until my partner goes to the toilet or bar and making their way over and even touching without permission, getting uncomfortably close when you’re playing so they’re practically wanking on your head...following you like a weird shadow is the worst one, creeps me out I swear some of the men could wear the carpet in going back and forth for hours on end on the same track. However, two of the worst experiences we’ve had one was with a couple and one with a single female both touching with no permission quite intimately, one even got pushed off me it was that bad. So there are good and bad in all people, any criticism is only for those without basic manners and swinging etiquette.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're more than happy to go to clubs where there are single guys, because we enjoy mmf, and we're more than happy to chat with them, even if ultimately, we're not interested in having sex with them. But we've often witnessed, and been subject to, unwanted advances from them, even when we've made it clear that we're not interested.

We went to Chameleons a couple of weeks ago, a single guy waited until my husband had gone to the bar to approach me (a coincidence!?), was very over friendly considering we'd only just met, and although I tried to be polite (attempting to be sociable while giving off a 'not interested in having sex' vibe), he followed us around the club all night, and even came into the couples room and started touching me without asking, while we were playing. Totally out of order!

I don't automatically think that bad/inappropriate behavior is limited to single guys, but sadly it's what we've experienced the most of when we've been to clubs.

It would be really nice if we could go to a club hoping to meet single guys, and be able to chat socially without feeling like if we speak to someone they assume it means we're going to have sex with them. It would also be nice to be able to walk around the club without an entourage waiting for the action to start!

Whilst I don't think all single guys are like this, sadly enough of them are, which makes us wary when we visit clubs.

I do agree that if couples don't want any attention from single guys, then they would probably be better off going to clubs when they're not admitted. I also find it frustrating that so many clubs don't allow single guys on a Saturday night, because that's when we're generally free to visit, and we like meeting them.

V x

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By *exymidscouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

We agree we enjoy the single men aspect as that's what we are after, so it's a bummer that most clubs only allow it in a Friday, when it's easier for most to get there on a Saturday "

Agreed. We love playing with single men as well as couples. Fridays are hard to get out when Saturdays are easier. *Mrs

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"Who tells the people that go to clubs what the rules are? If they watched swinger porn they might think everyone just gets in a big orgy. I've seen some guys ask in the forums about if they 'have' to join in on their first club visit.

They might not be disrespectful, they just might honestly not know what to do."

The one's I've attended, If people are new to the club then they normally let you know what the rules are and the consequences of breaking them.

But to be honest most of it is common sense really isn't it.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We prefer Friday's for the very reason that there are singles there.

It can get too clique for us when it's couples only as a lot aren't there to play but just to meet up with their friends.

We understand why the club's do it though as we too have had the "bad smell" guy that hangs around uninvited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think there aren't a enough single men, but can guarantee I will see a review or forum post where a couple state there were too many.

I believe if you don't like some of their behaviours or mannerisms then tell them, at least that way they're getting the opportunity to enhance within the club scene.

I've also said before that maybe I don't find men to be a problem because I'm looking for men, whereas I've found a lot of couples to be a nightmare

Same here

My experience and opinion is that single men are needed AND wanted.

The single women or women who play as singles often want single men, as well as couples. So no single men = fewer single women going/wanting to go.

As a single woman, events and parties that are mainly couples who want single men deter me from attending.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

some couples will always look down on singles.... sad but true... you will apparently only ever be good enough if you turn up with a partner....

if i say hello to someone and they scowl back at me.... the issue is theirs, not mine!

and in most times i have even been to clubs... most of the bad behavior i have seen has come from couples (normally too much to d*unk) where one has overstepped a line without the other!.... or gone rouge .... or tried to force a playing situation where the other is in effect "taking one for the team".....

being an "arse" is not the domain of any one group of people...... but i think sometimes (and i know some are not going to like what i am about to say) some people think they can get away with more because they are part of a couple....... or a woman!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The men trying to join in or touching my wife without permission would not end well for them. Its the main reason we haven't been to a club. My wife is only looking for females to play with and has no interest in men following her or us around. I want to take her out so she can find herself a playmate and let her crack on knowing she is safe if I want to leave her to it.

Respect towards women is a big thing for me no matter the scenario.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would like to add.. We don't have issues with single guys or women at all. We would happily share a drink and some laughs and we wouldn't mind them watching if me and my wife wanted to fool about. But just touching and trying to inject yourself without permission really really puts us off going.

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

"Would like to add.. We don't have issues with single guys or women at all. We would happily share a drink and some laughs and we wouldn't mind them watching if me and my wife wanted to fool about. But just touching and trying to inject yourself without permission really really puts us off going."

Why let it out you off going? If you are worried men would be like that then go on a couples and female night, that way you've removed the potential problem.

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

Why wouldn't they like it, it's true. I would like to think i would be treated the same as a man, but I know I'm not. Men are asked to leave clubs for behaviour that females and couples are just as guilty of, but it's always the men that are complained about so the club deal with it so not to get a negative light from its customers an potential customers.

I've seen many women "grope" men/make suggestive comments etc, but not once have I seen the man complain about it.

I've witnessed the male from the couple touch a female without asking, and I believe that's because he felt like he was entitled to as he's part of a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the clubs should enforce the rules

a disclaimer you sign when you join explaining do's and dont's and strictly not alloweds.

should be signed by the saying instant ban from club if rules are broken.

to be honest no one should be touching anyone inappropriately ever unless agreed wether it a grope a touch or a feel

serious like of manners class etiquette etc etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your lucky you can find a Club these days that allow single men in anyway , or if they do they are not the best !! Down here in Devon we have few Clubs and travel is our only option if you want some real fun , I have to go to either Bristol or Birmingham and that makes it a long night hence the reason I smashed a car up on the M5 one night one the way home .

so we need Clubs that allow men in and the couples to stop moaning , rant over ha ha

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

I have to say that in 15 years of swinging both as a single female and a couple Ive only really had issues with couples. Single men, once told clearly no, generally behave themselves.

Ive been with couples who have had a domestic mid play, resulting in her whacking him and walking out of the club... another time another couple she had so much to drink she threw up... another female from a couple just plonked herself on my face demanding i gove her oral

... one couple just wanted to watch while i was being Dommed and proceeded to chat rather loudly in their own language throughout... and I have to say for all the couples only nights Ive attended at various clubs Ive rarely seen very much play going on, the couples just seem to spend all night drinking chatting, posturing and flirting then occassionally disappear into a locked room on their own or rarely with another couple.

I definitely prefer to atmosphere that singles bring to the club scene.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Only been a few times on nights single men attend, the last two both different clubs & both nights men were removed; these clubs were hot on it but agree that think rules need to be stressed and consequences pointed out. We socialise and chat to any lovely people but don't like being followed around its creepy - think some men need to stop lurking & get out there to socialise & make eye contact. We wouldn't engage with anyone single or couple that behaves strangely, they spoil the atmosphere

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By *rchangel 69Man
over a year ago

just ask,

100% Agree with the thread. Any single male that tries to jump in on the action without being invited or even having the common decency to talk to those involved before hand deserves to be ejected.

But please don’t tar us all with the same brush!! Personally I prefer being with a couple or a group. I play regularly with the same couple and have brought a lot to their sex lives.

I do believe that singles, both female and male bring an exciting dynamic that would be missing if this scene just become couples swapping partners.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

"100% Agree with the thread. Any single male that tries to jump in on the action without being invited or even having the common decency to talk to those involved before hand deserves to be ejected.

But please don’t tar us all with the same brush!! Personally I prefer being with a couple or a group. I play regularly with the same couple and have brought a lot to their sex lives.

I do believe that singles, both female and male bring an exciting dynamic that would be missing if this scene just become couples swapping partners."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I visited Chameleons years ago as part of a couple and remember after a polite but non committal answer to a single chap being asked "do you know why you're here?", as though couples were only there for his benefit, the tit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They might not be disrespectful, they just might honestly not know what to do.

The one's I've attended, If people are new to the club then they normally let you know what the rules are and the consequences of breaking them.

But to be honest most of it is common sense really isn't it. "

I don't know about the common sense thing. It seems to be a common misconception that swingers will fuck anything.

If they are told about etiquette and the rules when entering the club and *still* behave badly then that's disappointing.

But as others have said, women and couples are just as bad if not worse- they don't like being told off.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I sometimes take people on tours of my regular club, if they have not visited before. Even if they have been to several club's, I sit then down and go through rules and etiquette. I can usually judge people's reactions and if single lads are a bit giggly and it's very new, I spend longer going through what is expected and what will happen if they don't behave.

I would hope all club's do this. I have frewuently been shown around a club, as part of a couple, and literally just had rooms pointed out.

It's not common sense.

It's not just single men who get it wrong, couples and ladies are just as bad. But most do apologise and stop if they overstep the mark.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple
over a year ago

north of lincoln

We prefer mixed nights at clubs. He tends to speak to any single guys in the bar area and tells them direct if they aren’t we are looking for way before anything happens.

Worst people in a club for us are the over intoxicated can’t stand up women and men that are loud and in your face .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a male half of a couple who regularly go to clubs i personally find single men bring nothing to the party. I've no objection with my fem playing with other men as long as im playing with their partner.so keep Saturdays couples and single fems only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to one club a few years back actually just went to see what it was all about had a chat to few different people couples included I never had any intention of doing anything I just wanted to get a feel of the Atmosphere it was great I must say I'm a confident guy so didn't feel weird but certainly was eye opening for sure

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By *addyAndKitten9Couple
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

Whilst bias (as we've played and will play with single males) we've found that the respectful fun lot amongst their demo tend to be significantly more sociable than couples.

Don't want them banned for certain!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I sometimes take people on tours of my regular club, if they have not visited before. Even if they have been to several club's, I sit then down and go through rules and etiquette. I can usually judge people's reactions and if single lads are a bit giggly and it's very new, I spend longer going through what is expected and what will happen if they don't behave.

I would hope all club's do this. I have frewuently been shown around a club, as part of a couple, and literally just had rooms pointed out.

It's not common sense.

It's not just single men who get it wrong, couples and ladies are just as bad. But most do apologise and stop if they overstep the mark. "

Not all clubs do this- you sound great.

I think they are as much to blame.

One club I went to as a couple, the man on the door said that my male partner was guaranteed a fuck that night- and he very clearly meant with the women in the club, not just me. If he said it to us he was definitely saying it to the single men that went in!

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By *awk-TuahCouple
over a year ago

Bourne

We're pretty new to clubs in this country after swinging in Australia several years ago. The club's over there are predominantly couple's and single girls only - I think due to the male section of the population being overtly sexist.

We are slowly finding our feet on mixed nights and do enjoy playing with single guys but, have to say that some clubs could take more onus in explaining etiquette to a lot of their single male members. The biggest turn off for us is lecherous single guys that stand in the corner of a club, fiddling with themselves and making zero effort to socialise....except when we decide to go somewhere to play!. Suddenly they're everywhere expecting to be included!

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