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It is a challenge though as some nights where clubs allow singles (this is only guys, never been in a club overrun by groups of women wandering round!) it can become silly with the guys following you around and not even talking to you!
We have never shagged anyone we haven’t talked to first, so if any single guys (or ladies  ) are reading this, please just come and say hello - it can simply be hi, my name is...., it does not have to be anything clever  | |||
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"I think club's do a very hard job of trying to please everyone. There are nights when single women, single men and couples are allowed in. Then there are couples who want to swap with couples and don't like evenings when single men patrol around. So club's have events where single gents are allowed and others when they aren't . I am a single lady who thinks along the same lines as yourself. I can go to greedy girl events or a Friday night, but avoid the Saturday couples night locally. I think we have it pretty lucky as single ladies and are catered for very well. Maybe you are going to the wrong club's, if there isn't enough choice of gents. I would be a bit anxious if the place was swamped with too many single gents. So it's a case of finding a club that suits your needs ." Yes I appreciate clubs can’t please everyone all the time. Perhaps this is where my problem lies. Due to work commitments I’m mostly able to visit clubs on a Saturday when it’s more often couples night. What is your experience of greedy girls? Is it more about ladies who like multiple men at the same time? This wouldn’t be my cup of tea. I just want more selection! | |||
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"Yes I appreciate clubs can’t please everyone all the time. Perhaps this is where my problem lies. Due to work commitments I’m mostly able to visit clubs on a Saturday when it’s more often couples night. What is your experience of greedy girls? Is it more about ladies who like multiple men at the same time? This wouldn’t be my cup of tea. I just want more selection! " We have been to a few Greedy girl nights and they are wonderful. Always plenty of single guys and you just play by your own rules, if you only want to play 121 then that's what you do. You will find most GG nights are either midweek of Fridays though so that might not help you. x | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........ | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful "This is what I mean! A night that actually encourages single men and ladies to meet! There are couples only nights but I’m yet to see a singles only night. Perhaps because it wouldn’t be profitable for the club. | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........" I can say plenty of good things about clubs. Some have great facilities, great staff, friendly people...blah blah blah! But sadly, if I’m not seeing nights with ‘themes’ that meet what I’m looking it’s not going to encourage me to go. | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
This is what I mean! A night that actually encourages single men and ladies to meet!
There are couples only nights but I’m yet to see a singles only night. Perhaps because it wouldn’t be profitable for the club. "Can't remember the club but isn't there an event called 'swingles' encouraging just that | |||
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"OP have you tried a different area, other the infusions I'm not sure of any other clubs that stop single guys on a Saturday night in the North West." Unfortunately I don’t drive so I am more restricted to my local area. I will travel and book hotels occassionally but cost can be a bit prohibitive. If anyone is aware of any nights that embrace single men with open arms I would be keen to hear about them. | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........ I can say plenty of good things about clubs. Some have great facilities, great staff, friendly people...blah blah blah! But sadly, if I’m not seeing nights with ‘themes’ that meet what I’m looking it’s not going to encourage me to go. " but again.... you have to realise that not every night is going to be aimed at or cater for everyone.... so for example..... if a club has a "bi" night.... i am not bi... i know that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club has a couples night... i am not a couple.... that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club does a black/white night.... it may be aimed at me, but it doesn't interest me.... so i am not going to go.... people are too interested sometimes at uniformity across every single night.... but again that uniformity may only be of interest to certain people.... so clubs can't do right for doing wrong.... and you are not going to please everyone depending on what decision they make....be that single guys, or single women, or couples or bi couples ect ect ect.... celebrate the different nights... don't criticise them, and as i said, clubs don't do the same night every single night... so if one night doesn't suit.... go on another.... | |||
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"The Playgrounds meet at V and A club in essex. Hold a swingles night especially for single swingers to meet and mingle." Haven't heard of that venue in Essex but have certainly been to the Playgrounds Swingles event at Arousals. I would really like more events like this as an increasing number of single people seem to be exploring the lifestyle | |||
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"The Playgrounds meet at V and A club in essex. Hold a swingles night especially for single swingers to meet and mingle." Sorry just to clarify our SWINGLES events are held every month at Arousals club in Bedfordshire xxxx | |||
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"OP have you tried a different area, other the infusions I'm not sure of any other clubs that stop single guys on a Saturday night in the North West. Unfortunately I don’t drive so I am more restricted to my local area. I will travel and book hotels occassionally but cost can be a bit prohibitive. If anyone is aware of any nights that embrace single men with open arms I would be keen to hear about them." I'm the same, don't drive so limited to local area. I want to see all the clubs in the North West | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........ I can say plenty of good things about clubs. Some have great facilities, great staff, friendly people...blah blah blah! But sadly, if I’m not seeing nights with ‘themes’ that meet what I’m looking it’s not going to encourage me to go. but again.... you have to realise that not every night is going to be aimed at or cater for everyone.... so for example..... if a club has a "bi" night.... i am not bi... i know that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club has a couples night... i am not a couple.... that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club does a black/white night.... it may be aimed at me, but it doesn't interest me.... so i am not going to go.... people are too interested sometimes at uniformity across every single night.... but again that uniformity may only be of interest to certain people.... so clubs can't do right for doing wrong.... and you are not going to please everyone depending on what decision they make....be that single guys, or single women, or couples or bi couples ect ect ect.... celebrate the different nights... don't criticise them, and as i said, clubs don't do the same night every single night... so if one night doesn't suit.... go on another...." Of course we need to select nights that suit us. As you have pointed out there are couples only nights but I’m yet to see a singles only night in my area. I appreciate this mignt not be profitable for the club, but a night where singles are the focus with the option for couples to attend too would be great! | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
This is what I mean! A night that actually encourages single men and ladies to meet!
There are couples only nights but I’m yet to see a singles only night. Perhaps because it wouldn’t be profitable for the club. "Xtasia do a Swingles night. For singles... ladies and guys and for cpls that like and appreciate singles xx | |||
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"Thanks for the latter posts. These nights seem more like my cup of tea. All quite far away but I will certainly look into them. Glad to see there is some wider interest in this and I’m not a complete minority! " This is why we run our SWINGLES events. We soon realised that ladies like yourself wanted to meet single guys within the scene on a Saturday, hence we started SWINGLES over a year a go. | |||
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"what would have been an interesting conversation have basically turned into a "shill" exercise for certain clubs... i hope the conversation goes well... but its been ruined for me "I posted this in the clubs forum so I think they’re quite entitled to post here. I for one am grateful for the suggestions as I was not aware of these nights previously. Like you said yourself, if the nights don’t tickle you fancy you don’t have to go. Please don’t take offence, but it does seem as though you’re saying be grateful for what clubs offer, even if it isn’t quite what you’re looking for, just go anyway because that’s all you’re going to get. I much prefer a proactive club that listens to what people want and tries to implement that wherever possible rather than doing what is easy/profitable for them. If you want a ‘pick your night’ where we vote which one out of a less than ideal selection we would plump for, strart your own thread! | |||
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"The walking dead are a feature of most clubs in my experience where willingness to pay the entrance fee is the only criteria for entry. As are the slugs. You know the ones, lurking, don't make eye contact or engage with you, just try to slide up to a woman once play starts and join in. Oh then there are the mongrels, they pant and slaver, wander around in packs and yap and bark whenever any woman, preferably under a size 16 with blonde hair and big boobs, does anything. All the above come from female friends. The only way single men integrate well with club crowds is if they are vetted and then encouraged to attend by favourable pricing. This takes time and effort from event promoters and few can be bothered. The successful themed event promoters realise that building a quality membership is the best guarantee of longevity IMO." I’ve been to a few clubs and have never had a problem with single males. There are a couple who wander around wanking but they keep to themselves and are fairly unobtrusive. But then I don’t have big tits so perhaps I’m not worthy of said pack behaviour?! Most will socialise with other regular members and some will try to make conversation. Do the zombie wankers’ as you call them only do this because they feel too nervous to approach people for fear of rejection? Hence they’ve come to realise it’s best to treat the situation more like a live porn show and just observe from the sidelines. Now if single men were actually encouraged, would they feel more welcome and confident that they were actually wanted, and feel more able to approach people to chat? | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........ I can say plenty of good things about clubs. Some have great facilities, great staff, friendly people...blah blah blah! But sadly, if I’m not seeing nights with ‘themes’ that meet what I’m looking it’s not going to encourage me to go. but again.... you have to realise that not every night is going to be aimed at or cater for everyone.... so for example..... if a club has a "bi" night.... i am not bi... i know that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club has a couples night... i am not a couple.... that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club does a black/white night.... it may be aimed at me, but it doesn't interest me.... so i am not going to go.... people are too interested sometimes at uniformity across every single night.... but again that uniformity may only be of interest to certain people.... so clubs can't do right for doing wrong.... and you are not going to please everyone depending on what decision they make....be that single guys, or single women, or couples or bi couples ect ect ect.... celebrate the different nights... don't criticise them, and as i said, clubs don't do the same night every single night... so if one night doesn't suit.... go on another...." That’s great advice in theory Fabio, but single guys have very few opportunities to visit clubs; Bi events (good if you’re bi) BMFC (good if you’re a black man) Mixed nights (usually just a Friday) Greedy Girls/Milfs/Cougars & cubs (usually daytime only) Did I miss any? So a straight, white guy over 40, who can only visit evenings, a Friday ‘mixed’ night is all he has on offer | |||
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"I think club's do a very hard job of trying to please everyone. There are nights when single women, single men and couples are allowed in. Then there are couples who want to swap with couples and don't like evenings when single men patrol around. So club's have events where single gents are allowed and others when they aren't . I am a single lady who thinks along the same lines as yourself. I can go to greedy girl events or a Friday night, but avoid the Saturday couples night locally. I think we have it pretty lucky as single ladies and are catered for very well. Maybe you are going to the wrong club's, if there isn't enough choice of gents. I would be a bit anxious if the place was swamped with too many single gents. So it's a case of finding a club that suits your needs ." I agree - there is a broad dynamic to cater for & I think most clubs get a good balance. Not every night is going to suit every person. There are plenty of club events where there is a 2:1 or even 3:1 male to female ratio, such as Milf Monday which I will be at tomorrow at Townhouse. Other nights are couples only, or bi nights where all guests are bi, regardless of male, female, couple or single; all male nights, all female nights or even T-girls events. The trick is to find the clubs & events that suit you & not to expect every night to be your cup of tea! | |||
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"The walking dead are a feature of most clubs in my experience where willingness to pay the entrance fee is the only criteria for entry. As are the slugs. You know the ones, lurking, don't make eye contact or engage with you, just try to slide up to a woman once play starts and join in. Oh then there are the mongrels, they pant and slaver, wander around in packs and yap and bark whenever any woman, preferably under a size 16 with blonde hair and big boobs, does anything. All the above come from female friends. The only way single men integrate well with club crowds is if they are vetted and then encouraged to attend by favourable pricing. This takes time and effort from event promoters and few can be bothered. The successful themed event promoters realise that building a quality membership is the best guarantee of longevity IMO. I’ve been to a few clubs and have never had a problem with single males. There are a couple who wander around wanking but they keep to themselves and are fairly unobtrusive. But then I don’t have big tits so perhaps I’m not worthy of said pack behaviour?! Most will socialise with other regular members and some will try to make conversation. Do the zombie wankers’ as you call them only do this because they feel too nervous to approach people for fear of rejection? Hence they’ve come to realise it’s best to treat the situation more like a live porn show and just observe from the sidelines. Now if single men were actually encouraged, would they feel more welcome and confident that they were actually wanted, and feel more able to approach people to chat? " I've never actually wandered around with my cock out, but there's a lot in what you say. | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? no club will do the same thing on all their nights.... so if one night doesn't appeal to you, go on a different night..... simple as! sometimes i do think that people overthink everything.... and think more about the "bad" than about the "good"........ I can say plenty of good things about clubs. Some have great facilities, great staff, friendly people...blah blah blah! But sadly, if I’m not seeing nights with ‘themes’ that meet what I’m looking it’s not going to encourage me to go. but again.... you have to realise that not every night is going to be aimed at or cater for everyone.... so for example..... if a club has a "bi" night.... i am not bi... i know that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club has a couples night... i am not a couple.... that is not going to be aimed at me.... if a club does a black/white night.... it may be aimed at me, but it doesn't interest me.... so i am not going to go.... people are too interested sometimes at uniformity across every single night.... but again that uniformity may only be of interest to certain people.... so clubs can't do right for doing wrong.... and you are not going to please everyone depending on what decision they make....be that single guys, or single women, or couples or bi couples ect ect ect.... celebrate the different nights... don't criticise them, and as i said, clubs don't do the same night every single night... so if one night doesn't suit.... go on another.... That’s great advice in theory Fabio, but single guys have very few opportunities to visit clubs; Bi events (good if you’re bi) BMFC (good if you’re a black man) Mixed nights (usually just a Friday) Greedy Girls/Milfs/Cougars & cubs (usually daytime only) Did I miss any? So a straight, white guy over 40, who can only visit evenings, a Friday ‘mixed’ night is all he has on offer "I can’t soeak for other clubs, although the ones in the NW I have visited have certainly had a large no of single guys But for Townhouse, Wednesday’s are newbie nights, Thursday’s & Friday’s are guest list events & for the most part, are open to all comers (unless it’s a specific event like Fet night which was last Friday). Saturday is a limited single male list with emphasis on couples & any daytime events are usually open to all. So I do think there is a reasonable split given the different dynamics there are for clubs to cater to. As a straight single female, I’m also ‘excluded’ from bi nights, couples nights, all male nights, all female nights & trans nights, so it’s not all necessarily weighted in our favour! | |||
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"OP have you tried a different area, other the infusions I'm not sure of any other clubs that stop single guys on a Saturday night in the North West. Unfortunately I don’t drive so I am more restricted to my local area. I will travel and book hotels occassionally but cost can be a bit prohibitive. If anyone is aware of any nights that embrace single men with open arms I would be keen to hear about them." https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/events/723552 RAW @ Townhouse. 3:1 male to female ratio, guest list is booked to capacity (approx 130 people) & is a pure play party. It’s listed in the events forum on this link. Next one is Friday 16th Feb Sounds like the sort of event you’re looking for!! | |||
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"The walking dead are a feature of most clubs in my experience where willingness to pay the entrance fee is the only criteria for entry. As are the slugs. You know the ones, lurking, don't make eye contact or engage with you, just try to slide up to a woman once play starts and join in. Oh then there are the mongrels, they pant and slaver, wander around in packs and yap and bark whenever any woman, preferably under a size 16 with blonde hair and big boobs, does anything. All the above come from female friends. The only way single men integrate well with club crowds is if they are vetted and then encouraged to attend by favourable pricing. This takes time and effort from event promoters and few can be bothered. The successful themed event promoters realise that building a quality membership is the best guarantee of longevity IMO. I’ve been to a few clubs and have never had a problem with single males. There are a couple who wander around wanking but they keep to themselves and are fairly unobtrusive. But then I don’t have big tits so perhaps I’m not worthy of said pack behaviour?! Most will socialise with other regular members and some will try to make conversation. Do the zombie wankers’ as you call them only do this because they feel too nervous to approach people for fear of rejection? Hence they’ve come to realise it’s best to treat the situation more like a live porn show and just observe from the sidelines. Now if single men were actually encouraged, would they feel more welcome and confident that they were actually wanted, and feel more able to approach people to chat? I've never actually wandered around with my cock out " Me neither, and I can honestly say in the 4 club visits I’ve done as a single guy, I’ve not even had an erection | |||
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"I have nicknamed the wandering zombies the white walkers (game of thrones fans will get the analogy) A couple nearly wet themselves when I said this yesterday about a few men lol " Haha. I call them 'The Wanking Dead'. Never seen Game of thrones, but a big fan of a certain zombie TV series | |||
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 ) is my favourite.
I find when there's more singles there, the atmosphere feels more open and chatty, whereas when it's predominantly couples I seem to be a bit aware that i'm on my own.
And like you say, more choice . I'm always keeping an eye on the forums for new events. Unfortunately for me, being a single parent to young kids, there's lots of events I like the look of but can't go. I think patience is key, and check the details on the different events just in case on the surface it doesn't look up your street, the name might throw you off when it could be just what you're looking for. | |||
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"I prefer going when there's more single men too. I tend to go to Townhouse, so Milf Monday (tomorrow ) is my favourite.
I find when there's more singles there, the atmosphere feels more open and chatty, whereas when it's predominantly couples I seem to be a bit aware that i'm on my own.
And like you say, more choice . I'm always keeping an eye on the forums for new events. Unfortunately for me, being a single parent to young kids, there's lots of events I like the look of but can't go. I think patience is key, and check the details on the different events just in case on the surface it doesn't look up your street, the name might throw you off when it could be just what you're looking for. "I’m with you on the atmosphere, I’ve found events dominated by couples can be a bit tense. And as I rarely play with couples most of the evening can be spent making small talk with them so I don’t appear rude or so I’m not sitting on my own! I’ve heard about the townhouse event, I think amour in Manchester also do something similar on a Monday daytime. Sadly as I work weekdays these are a no go, but some kind people of here have pointed out evening events at Xtasia and parties playgrounds. | |||
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"I prefer going when there's more single men too. I tend to go to Townhouse, so Milf Monday (tomorrow ) is my favourite.
I find when there's more singles there, the atmosphere feels more open and chatty, whereas when it's predominantly couples I seem to be a bit aware that i'm on my own.
And like you say, more choice . I'm always keeping an eye on the forums for new events. Unfortunately for me, being a single parent to young kids, there's lots of events I like the look of but can't go. I think patience is key, and check the details on the different events just in case on the surface it doesn't look up your street, the name might throw you off when it could be just what you're looking for.
I’m with you on the atmosphere, I’ve found events dominated by couples can be a bit tense. And as I rarely play with couples most of the evening can be spent making small talk with them so I don’t appear rude or so I’m not sitting on my own!
I’ve heard about the townhouse event, I think amour in Manchester also do something similar on a Monday daytime. Sadly as I work weekdays these are a no go, but some kind people of here have pointed out evening events at Xtasia and parties playgrounds. "If you ever happen to be off work on the first Monday of the month definitely give Townhouse a go... I never imagined I'd feel so comfortable going to a club alone, it's a brilliant day. | |||
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"I think club's do a very hard job of trying to please everyone. There are nights when single women, single men and couples are allowed in. Then there are couples who want to swap with couples and don't like evenings when single men patrol around. So club's have events where single gents are allowed and others when they aren't . I am a single lady who thinks along the same lines as yourself. I can go to greedy girl events or a Friday night, but avoid the Saturday couples night locally. I think we have it pretty lucky as single ladies and are catered for very well. Maybe you are going to the wrong club's, if there isn't enough choice of gents. I would be a bit anxious if the place was swamped with too many single gents. So it's a case of finding a club that suits your needs . Yes I appreciate clubs can’t please everyone all the time. Perhaps this is where my problem lies. Due to work commitments I’m mostly able to visit clubs on a Saturday when it’s more often couples night. What is your experience of greedy girls? Is it more about ladies who like multiple men at the same time? This wouldn’t be my cup of tea. I just want more selection! " Regarding greedy girl events. There are plenty of fellas about and you get chance to chat with people you like the look of. Some ladies like more than one guy at once, some will play with one, then maybe another later and others choose someone to enjoy time with. There is no pressure for anyone to do anything, so maybe it's an event to look at. | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " I agree so many different permutations of what people as individuals want and as men are the main revenue of the club network let's celebrate men instead of denegrating them ,give this sexy woman what she wants please ,on the flip side of this I don't meet at clubs for the exact same reason the OP said she does because unfortunately it means if she has a choice the guy always stands a lesser chance and has spent a fortune getting in said club and as I like to get to know the woman and have a connection then this method percentage wise is not great ,suppose it depends if you want sex for sexs sake | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? I agree so many different permutations of what people as individuals want and as men are the main revenue of the club network let's celebrate men instead of denegrating them ,give this sexy woman what she wants please ,on the flip side of this I don't meet at clubs for the exact same reason the OP said she does because unfortunately it means if she has a choice the guy always stands a lesser chance and has spent a fortune getting in said club and as I like to get to know the woman and have a connection then this method percentage wise is not great ,suppose it depends if you want sex for sexs sake "If you go to somewhere like Kestrel Hydro the social side is important and lots of chatting goes on in the hot tub etc. It’s not all “sex for sexs” sake. | |||
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"We like chatting to people in clubs, whether it is sngle guys, couples or single ladies. Why do we chat? Because we want to find out if we click enough to go & fool around. So the best advice we can give to single guys who want to improve their hit rate is go and talk to a couple or single girl. We are all there for broadly the same reason and usually just need a connection to start things off. We were at Xtasia on Friday night, lovely club with more than enough single guys but they tended to cluster and not cone over and say hello. Of course we can do all the work of going up to guys, but if there are 2 of us and a dozen of you then improve your chances by coming to say hi! We have only ever played with guys we have actually talked to before & we are not unusual..." Would you, as a couple, approach a single guy who is obviously there by himself? | |||
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Often a couple may seem cautious around single men due to one partner possibly doubting the swinging arrangement of their relationship. However it’s these couples that seem to have infidelity issues which become more apparent when making the step from fantasy to reality. | |||
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"We like chatting to people in clubs, whether it is sngle guys, couples or single ladies. Why do we chat? Because we want to find out if we click enough to go & fool around. So the best advice we can give to single guys who want to improve their hit rate is go and talk to a couple or single girl. We are all there for broadly the same reason and usually just need a connection to start things off. We were at Xtasia on Friday night, lovely club with more than enough single guys but they tended to cluster and not cone over and say hello. Of course we can do all the work of going up to guys, but if there are 2 of us and a dozen of you then improve your chances by coming to say hi! We have only ever played with guys we have actually talked to before & we are not unusual... Would you, as a couple, approach a single guy who is obviously there by himself?" Yes, we have done this. Far too many guys don’t make eye contact, don’t smile and don’t come and say hello. If we are at a club and it is a mixed night, then the odds are we are interested in guys - so come and say hello, what is the worst that could happen? Equally when we do talk to guys it does not mean they are on a promise, but it does mean we find out who they are and their chances are a lot greater than people who hide in dark corners... | |||
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"We like chatting to people in clubs, whether it is sngle guys, couples or single ladies. Why do we chat? Because we want to find out if we click enough to go & fool around. So the best advice we can give to single guys who want to improve their hit rate is go and talk to a couple or single girl. We are all there for broadly the same reason and usually just need a connection to start things off. We were at Xtasia on Friday night, lovely club with more than enough single guys but they tended to cluster and not cone over and say hello. Of course we can do all the work of going up to guys, but if there are 2 of us and a dozen of you then improve your chances by coming to say hi! We have only ever played with guys we have actually talked to before & we are not unusual... Would you, as a couple, approach a single guy who is obviously there by himself? Yes, we have done this. Far too many guys don’t make eye contact, don’t smile and don’t come and say hello. If we are at a club and it is a mixed night, then the odds are we are interested in guys - so come and say hello, what is the worst that could happen? Equally when we do talk to guys it does not mean they are on a promise, but it does mean we find out who they are and their chances are a lot greater than people who hide in dark corners..." Well, speaking from my own experience, the worst that can happen when you make eye contact and smile at a couple is that they turn their heads. Other couples make it clear they are not interested in a single guy in similar ways, and I've often felt invisible. It's not easy being a guy on his own in these clubs | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? I agree so many different permutations of what people as individuals want and as men are the main revenue of the club network let's celebrate men instead of denegrating them ,give this sexy woman what she wants please ,on the flip side of this I don't meet at clubs for the exact same reason the OP said she does because unfortunately it means if she has a choice the guy always stands a lesser chance and has spent a fortune getting in said club and as I like to get to know the woman and have a connection then this method percentage wise is not great ,suppose it depends if you want sex for sexs sake
If you go to somewhere like Kestrel Hydro the social side is important and lots of chatting goes on in the hot tub etc. It’s not all “sex for sexs” sake. "I've been to abfabs/kestrels as a couple and as a single its near Heathrow not easy to get to its very expensive to get in but it does have lots of facilities ,as I said if I wanted to meet a woman it wouldn't be my choice for the reason stated ,meeting or setting up a meet on here isn't always easy so limiting your chances still further by meeting in a club and having to pay to do so wouldn't be the best percentage odds unless you're a mid 30s Adonis with a great personality,I do have a great personality and in the clubs I've been to I've socialised and played but I like a connection formed over time ,the OP is talking about NSA first time meets in a club and she likes a meet like that because her options are open | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? I agree so many different permutations of what people as individuals want and as men are the main revenue of the club network let's celebrate men instead of denegrating them ,give this sexy woman what she wants please ,on the flip side of this I don't meet at clubs for the exact same reason the OP said she does because unfortunately it means if she has a choice the guy always stands a lesser chance and has spent a fortune getting in said club and as I like to get to know the woman and have a connection then this method percentage wise is not great ,suppose it depends if you want sex for sexs sake
If you go to somewhere like Kestrel Hydro the social side is important and lots of chatting goes on in the hot tub etc. It’s not all “sex for sexs” sake. I've been to abfabs/kestrels as a couple and as a single its near Heathrow not easy to get to its very expensive to get in but it does have lots of facilities ,as I said if I wanted to meet a woman it wouldn't be my choice for the reason stated ,meeting or setting up a meet on here isn't always easy so limiting your chances still further by meeting in a club and having to pay to do so wouldn't be the best percentage odds unless you're a mid 30s Adonis with a great personality,I do have a great personality and in the clubs I've been to I've socialised and played but I like a connection formed over time ,the OP is talking about NSA first time meets in a club and she likes a meet like that because her options are open "You don’t have to be an Adonis at a place like Kestrels, far from it. Personality is just as important. Obviously single guys who have huge beer guts etc are going to struggle, but they will in any environment. | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? I agree so many different permutations of what people as individuals want and as men are the main revenue of the club network let's celebrate men instead of denegrating them ,give this sexy woman what she wants please ,on the flip side of this I don't meet at clubs for the exact same reason the OP said she does because unfortunately it means if she has a choice the guy always stands a lesser chance and has spent a fortune getting in said club and as I like to get to know the woman and have a connection then this method percentage wise is not great ,suppose it depends if you want sex for sexs sake
If you go to somewhere like Kestrel Hydro the social side is important and lots of chatting goes on in the hot tub etc. It’s not all “sex for sexs” sake. I've been to abfabs/kestrels as a couple and as a single its near Heathrow not easy to get to its very expensive to get in but it does have lots of facilities ,as I said if I wanted to meet a woman it wouldn't be my choice for the reason stated ,meeting or setting up a meet on here isn't always easy so limiting your chances still further by meeting in a club and having to pay to do so wouldn't be the best percentage odds unless you're a mid 30s Adonis with a great personality,I do have a great personality and in the clubs I've been to I've socialised and played but I like a connection formed over time ,the OP is talking about NSA first time meets in a club and she likes a meet like that because her options are open
You don’t have to be an Adonis at a place like Kestrels, far from it. Personality is just as important. Obviously single guys who have huge beer guts etc are going to struggle, but they will in any environment. "don't think you're getting the point I'm making in relation to the OPs | |||
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"which all comes back to one of the points i keep making... a lot of single guys won't go up to couples and just talk with no m.o a lot couples won't go up and talk to single men with no m.o if no one is talking.... or if people are afraid to just talk, then how are people even going to find out!!! the problem isn't ratio's.... it's mindset!!! in that people want someone else to make the first move! well... minimum effort maximum reward! most conversations start with "hello"..... maybe a lot people should start using it more!!! " Agree completely. I see guys sitting at a bar and not saying much other than to the bar staff and then complain that no one chatted to them. A new chap came to my local club and wandered around talking to other single guys, couples and ladies. The following week he came back, and people smiled and said hello and realised he was the guy making the effort the week before. He got invited to a private party by one couple, a single chap took his number after talking about gangbang he attended and he swapped usernames with couples and single ladies. He got several verifications and had very successful nights. If people realise it's a networking opportunity. Chat to everyone. If they aren't interested, then smile, tell them to have a good night and move on. If you are just going to sit, looking at your pint and waiting for people to approach you, then you won't have an enjoyable time. | |||
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"which all comes back to one of the points i keep making... a lot of single guys won't go up to couples and just talk with no m.o a lot couples won't go up and talk to single men with no m.o if no one is talking.... or if people are afraid to just talk, then how are people even going to find out!!! the problem isn't ratio's.... it's mindset!!! in that people want someone else to make the first move! well... minimum effort maximum reward! most conversations start with "hello"..... maybe a lot people should start using it more!!! Agree completely. I see guys sitting at a bar and not saying much other than to the bar staff and then complain that no one chatted to them. A new chap came to my local club and wandered around talking to other single guys, couples and ladies. The following week he came back, and people smiled and said hello and realised he was the guy making the effort the week before. He got invited to a private party by one couple, a single chap took his number after talking about gangbang he attended and he swapped usernames with couples and single ladies. He got several verifications and had very successful nights. If people realise it's a networking opportunity. Chat to everyone. If they aren't interested, then smile, tell them to have a good night and move on. If you are just going to sit, looking at your pint and waiting for people to approach you, then you won't have an enjoyable time. " easier said than done for some but yes I agree and another thread has just announced abfabs has closed | |||
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"which all comes back to one of the points i keep making... a lot of single guys won't go up to couples and just talk with no m.o a lot couples won't go up and talk to single men with no m.o if no one is talking.... or if people are afraid to just talk, then how are people even going to find out!!! the problem isn't ratio's.... it's mindset!!! in that people want someone else to make the first move! well... minimum effort maximum reward! most conversations start with "hello"..... maybe a lot people should start using it more!!! " Always the voice of reason we do agree with you, a bit more talking would make a big difference  | |||
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"Our next event at Jaydees on Friday 16th Feb is from 12 noon to 2am and is very well attended by single females and males, well worth a visit x" any free entry vouchers available? | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful "We are the same, we don't couple swap its guys we are looking for. | |||
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"so i would say to the couples.... when you go to clubs, are you proactive or are you reactive? same thing for single guys... when you all go to clubs, are you proactive or are you reactive? a lot of people will claim that they are proactive.. but if you are not putting yourself out there and talking.... you are not! before people then come back and say "well he's a confident person".... i would say that i am not the most confident but i am pragmatic, and sitting on your arse/s by yourselves isn't going to change if you just sit meekly there awaiting the world to come to you! " I think it depends on the club. We will happily start a conversation with anyone, won't play with everyone we speak to, but definitely have to chat to consider play. In some clubs socialising is much easier, we tend to like the bar or hot tub to kick start conversations, however I will quite literally chat to anyone regardless of my intention to play, I just like talking. If it's becoming obvious with a single they are interested while chatting and we aren't then Mr will have a quiet word and say happy to socialise but if they're looking to play, they should try their luck elsewhere. With couples we tend to just mooch off. We've found particularly on busy party nights or in the layout of certain clubs it's almost impossible to start up a conversation without asking if they mind us joining them (sitting for a drink), which we would only then do if we thought them to be attractive, however this can lead to us talking to some frightful bores that are more difficult to extract ourselves from. Oh god, that one night and his lecture on investments.... I think for couples like us, where we don't go to play with others. We go to play if the situation is right as we are more than happy to have a night out dressed up (or down). Then yes it can be more reactive on busy party nights. But in general I'd say we are proactive in chatting, not seeking play partners, just because that's my idea of a fun night out. People are interesting to me. Its worked out to be some great nights playing. If the single guys make zero conversation then I probably wouldn't be hugely inclined to try either especially if stood in a 'pack'. However, just a simple "Hi, been here before" Would probably be enough, as we get a drink, for us to share our life story! Eye contact and smiles is too subtle, in my view, when you're interested in finding out more about someone, in a swing club environment. But all that is completely off topic from the OP. Sorry | |||
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"so i would say to the couples.... when you go to clubs, are you proactive or are you reactive? same thing for single guys... when you all go to clubs, are you proactive or are you reactive? a lot of people will claim that they are proactive.. but if you are not putting yourself out there and talking.... you are not! before people then come back and say "well he's a confident person".... i would say that i am not the most confident but i am pragmatic, and sitting on your arse/s by yourselves isn't going to change if you just sit meekly there awaiting the world to come to you! " As always Fab, you do speak in a wise, and fair way In my defence, looking back at my lack-lustre club visits, I probably put too much stall in the reviews, where people have (possibly) overstated how friendly and welcoming the club was. EVERY club welcomes the new, single guy as he hands over his admission/membership fee, but once 'The Tour' is over, you're pretty much on your own, depending on who else is there when you are. I have my next club visit planned, and I will certainly be more 'proactive' | |||
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"I don't think it does wander off from the OP... the op doesn't think there is enough variety in a club on a particular night.... so the simple answer to that is go on a different night, or try different clubs.... then someone on here says the almighty swingles (i just used them as an example because they decided to shill themselves in the thread) vet the guys before they are allowed to go, in which case i would then ask what is the different swingles vetting and a club where they allow certain guys to go on a particular night vetting.... they are both doing the same job! people are blaming clubs..... short of the clubs ordering people to talk to each other.... i don't see what accountability they can have.... at some point we have to take accountability for yourself... and if you decide to just mooch or sit at a bar and not talk..... thats not on the club!" I agree to a certain extent. However if clubs allow the walking dead and don't challenge that behaviour then this can lead to bad experiences for couples leading them to create a demand for couples nights. If instead a club is more proactive in dealing with this behaviour which can feel predatory at times and wouldn't be allowed in other walks of life, then women may feel safer, and not so worried about attending mixed nights, reducing demand. Obviously the walking dead is not the same as the shy reactive guys but everything is a scale and even the more outgoing chatty be a can become more than creepy. I do think clubs have a part to play and that is encouraging the social and safe environment but also agree that the club goers need to also be social and not a nob. Btw my comments on behaviour extend to all club members. As an example I've had a woman try and snog me as she walked by when playing with my Mr. Completely not acceptable. I think some clubs are not doing enough. Those clubs we avoid. In the same way where we've had issues in clubs and it has been dealt with, we do return. However our first experience in a club put us off clubs for over a year and hen limited us to couples nights. We've since learnt mixed can be just as fun | |||
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"on the flip side the club i went to on saturday night didn't have any issues with the singles who were there... but there was one half of a couple who did.... so it is very much swings and roundabouts! and whether we like it or now.... people are more tolerant of couples bad behaviour then they are singles...... not something i like but something we have to live with! as to challenging behaviours... that has to happen on all sides!!! and unfortuately you can only lead people so far.. or in the case of some it is a case of in one ear and out the other.... and thats where you need club and staff to be on your side.... but staff don't always know what is happening and that's where they need people to tell staff........ if someone oversteps, tell them! " Yes, as we've gained more experience we've learnt that any night in any club can get you in an uncomfortable situation and why now we will go to mixed nights happily. Its not restricted to singles. Our first night in a club there were 3 couples and around 20 singles. One of those was awful. Some were lovely. When we came away with a horrid experience we figured that's what mixed nights everywhere were like. Hence being really careful on night selection after that and creating a demand for vetted or couples only nights. As you attend more and more different clubs you come to realise that some clubs attract great members. Some don't. It's not the name of the night it's the ethos | |||
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"I attend Pandora most weekends always plenty of single guys attend there and I might be tempting fate here but from my experience doesn’t seem as bad for the walking wank squad as opposed to other clubs i’ve been to. Definitely think it helps at Pandora with the large social area so encourages everyone to chat. Would definitely recommend this club to anyone " All clubs are the same with single blokes they are going to follow you hoping for an invite just most are respectful with it hopefully and I've been to pandoras on single male night and found it no different to any other club except you have more space to loose them in pandoras lol | |||
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"on the flip side the club i went to on saturday night didn't have any issues with the singles who were there... but there was one half of a couple who did.... so it is very much swings and roundabouts! and whether we like it or now.... people are more tolerant of couples bad behaviour then they are singles...... not something i like but something we have to live with! as to challenging behaviours... that has to happen on all sides!!! and unfortuately you can only lead people so far.. or in the case of some it is a case of in one ear and out the other.... and thats where you need club and staff to be on your side.... but staff don't always know what is happening and that's where they need people to tell staff........ if someone oversteps, tell them! " Fabio this is me - on Saturday I spoke to a new couple and we had a soft play. Also chatted to a few new people as well. I must I wasn’t the most chatty of people this Saturday I was a bit meh, but I was polite and none rude Gets single men a long way | |||
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"Lot of couples we’ve spoken to are reluctant to play with single guys as they suspect they are married and cheating. There is no way of telling of course. So easiet just to avoid. Honesty at all times is THE most important aspect of swinging. " That "guilty until proven innocent" mentality really winds me up. | |||
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"Lot of couples we’ve spoken to are reluctant to play with single guys as they suspect they are married and cheating. There is no way of telling of course. So easiet just to avoid. Honesty at all times is THE most important aspect of swinging. That "guilty until proven innocent" mentality really winds me up." We met a guy and his girlfriend. Met him before so arranged a club meet. Turns out she was the married one and cheating on her hubby with him. That certainly ended any fun with them | |||
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"Lot of couples we’ve spoken to are reluctant to play with single guys as they suspect they are married and cheating. There is no way of telling of course. So easiet just to avoid. Honesty at all times is THE most important aspect of swinging. " We aren’t disagreeing with you, but to be honest we don’t ask questions with a view to catching people out. We are there for our fun, with people who want to be with us - what goes on outside clubs does not come up... | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " There are a few collective groups of Swingers who do try to cater to your taste. I've been approached by a Profile called "Satin Pants" Or something along those lines.. to join their "Stable of men" As i met someones requirements. Not my thing though.. I may only be a Shetland pony, but I'm my own horse. Parties is another thing you may want to look into? You can't expect the club's to cater to your taste. When I was in Xtasia there were quite a few single guys to choose from, most chasing anyone who went near the play rooms, but not all.. a fair mix of types as well. | |||
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"This thread has taught me two things: 1. Don’t express an interest for a different type of club night. Make do with what’s on offer and be bloody grateful! 2. Many people perceive the majority single men to be wanking zombies with as much personality and social skills as an intimate object. Oh and 3. dont bother posting in the forums again! Even what was intended to be a positive suggestion for something a bit different fills up with moany criticising buggers!" I think the actual answer for you, lies in the Greedy Girl events | |||
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"Lot of couples we’ve spoken to are reluctant to play with single guys as they suspect they are married and cheating. There is no way of telling of course. So easiet just to avoid. Honesty at all times is THE most important aspect of swinging. " that really isn't a great reason to rule out half the population ' we think they're married and cheating ' you think you don't know and not all guys cheat ! | |||
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"what would have been an interesting conversation have basically turned into a "shill" exercise for certain clubs... i hope the conversation goes well... but its been ruined for me "Got me thinking now..  | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. " That was really well said and has got me thinking a whole different side to men | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " Sounds like you need to go to a greedy girls event. They have lots of men there... for all the women who like multiples lol | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. That was really well said and has got me thinking a whole different side to men "Thanks I hope it's a good side | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " You should come to Germany. Many of the clubs have Herrenuberschuss (roughly translates as excess men) events. One club close to us has one on the first Sunday of every month and it usually averages around 100 couples 120 single guys and a handfull of single women. You can either jump in to the fuck fest in the big orgy room or pick your own and go private. We go every month when in Germany.  | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs" The only night I really have free is a Saturday night every other weekend so I've no chance of meeting single guys lol. | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. " Fair play to you mate, you echo a lot of what I’ve been talking about recently, but then get derided for not being ‘proactive’ in a club | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs" The clubs here tend to be either one thing or the other, couples only or mixed. Very few try to be both. Some may have occasional parties that are different to their normal agenda but only on an odd occasion. The club I mentioned earlier does do a couples only day/night on every other Sunday. Apart from that it is 100% mixed. We have over a dozen clubs within 30/40 minutes drive from us and only two are couples only. | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs The clubs here tend to be either one thing or the other, couples only or mixed. Very few try to be both. Some may have occasional parties that are different to their normal agenda but only on an odd occasion. The club I mentioned earlier does do a couples only day/night on every other Sunday. Apart from that it is 100% mixed. We have over a dozen clubs within 30/40 minutes drive from us and only two are couples only." We are restricted to either Eurekas or privately run parties within our geographical area, on the basis that we can only play in a Saturday night and want single guys. Nothing wrong with those options, but there would be other clubs we would attend if it weren’t for the ‘couples-only’ events on Saturday nights. If some of these other clubs could open their doors to single guys maybe one Saturday a month it would be great. But I guess there isn’t the market for it in Kent, Sussex and Surrey 
Mrs | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. Fair play to you mate, you echo a lot of what I’ve been talking about recently, but then get derided for not being ‘proactive’ in a club "cheers dude I know I'm not alone on this | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs The clubs here tend to be either one thing or the other, couples only or mixed. Very few try to be both. Some may have occasional parties that are different to their normal agenda but only on an odd occasion. The club I mentioned earlier does do a couples only day/night on every other Sunday. Apart from that it is 100% mixed. We have over a dozen clubs within 30/40 minutes drive from us and only two are couples only. We are restricted to either Eurekas or privately run parties within our geographical area, on the basis that we can only play in a Saturday night and want single guys. Nothing wrong with those options, but there would be other clubs we would attend if it weren’t for the ‘couples-only’ events on Saturday nights. If some of these other clubs could open their doors to single guys maybe one Saturday a month it would be great. But I guess there isn’t the market for it in Kent, Sussex and Surrey
Mrs"Swingles event this Saturday at Arousals with selected singles with at least 3 verifications. Great hosts, fantastic staff, mad DJ, loads of playrooms.... | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs The clubs here tend to be either one thing or the other, couples only or mixed. Very few try to be both. Some may have occasional parties that are different to their normal agenda but only on an odd occasion. The club I mentioned earlier does do a couples only day/night on every other Sunday. Apart from that it is 100% mixed. We have over a dozen clubs within 30/40 minutes drive from us and only two are couples only. We are restricted to either Eurekas or privately run parties within our geographical area, on the basis that we can only play in a Saturday night and want single guys. Nothing wrong with those options, but there would be other clubs we would attend if it weren’t for the ‘couples-only’ events on Saturday nights. If some of these other clubs could open their doors to single guys maybe one Saturday a month it would be great. But I guess there isn’t the market for it in Kent, Sussex and Surrey
Mrs"Dover-Dunkirk then just over 4 hours drive. | |||
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"But it wouldn’t it be nice if these events where single guys are welcome, occasionally took place on a Saturday night? Just arranged it so that couples-only events didn’t have the monopoly on Saturday nights? Mrs The clubs here tend to be either one thing or the other, couples only or mixed. Very few try to be both. Some may have occasional parties that are different to their normal agenda but only on an odd occasion. The club I mentioned earlier does do a couples only day/night on every other Sunday. Apart from that it is 100% mixed. We have over a dozen clubs within 30/40 minutes drive from us and only two are couples only. We are restricted to either Eurekas or privately run parties within our geographical area, on the basis that we can only play in a Saturday night and want single guys. Nothing wrong with those options, but there would be other clubs we would attend if it weren’t for the ‘couples-only’ events on Saturday nights. If some of these other clubs could open their doors to single guys maybe one Saturday a month it would be great. But I guess there isn’t the market for it in Kent, Sussex and Surrey
Mrs
Swingles event this Saturday at Arousals with selected singles with at least 3 verifications. Great hosts, fantastic staff, mad DJ, loads of playrooms...."Sure that would be an option if we decided we wanted to go a bit further a field. | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. " Very well articulated and glad to hear there are others who feel much the same. I've articulated this many times over the years after my bad experience and Townhouse and Cupids over 2 yrs ago which put me off clubs completely. 'Cattle market' is how it felt to me. It's also why I will not meet couples either. (Very dismisive). No time was given to get to know me, it seemed most were in there to quickly play which I'm not complaining about as each to their own but I prefer chatting and getting to know without the constant interruptions of others butting in or siding over when you turn your head. I'd got up to get a drink for one lady and when I got back she was cover like flies with guys and that killed the mood for me. She got her free drinks anyway lol (and more I'd say). It's great for the ladies to have the ratio of 3or4:1 but leaves the guy like myself who has respect feeling like a piece of meet. I guess there will be many who don't see it like this or overlook it as part of the atmosphere. But not for me and to have to pay through the nose for that experience was a double whammy. It took 2 years to be convinced to even go to a fab social as a result. I want to feel that I'm actually wanted. No woman will get much more than a hello from me if I sense I'm not desired no matter how sexy she may come across. There are plenty of guys out there so that's OK for most of you women but the one who gets me will also need to work a bit for it too. | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. Very well articulated and glad to hear there are others who feel much the same. I've articulated this many times over the years after my bad experience and Townhouse and Cupids over 2 yrs ago which put me off clubs completely. 'Cattle market' is how it felt to me. It's also why I will not meet couples either. (Very dismisive). No time was given to get to know me, it seemed most were in there to quickly play which I'm not complaining about as each to their own but I prefer chatting and getting to know without the constant interruptions of others butting in or siding over when you turn your head. I'd got up to get a drink for one lady and when I got back she was cover like flies with guys and that killed the mood for me. She got her free drinks anyway lol (and more I'd say). It's great for the ladies to have the ratio of 3or4:1 but leaves the guy like myself who has respect feeling like a piece of meet. I guess there will be many who don't see it like this or overlook it as part of the atmosphere. But not for me and to have to pay through the nose for that experience was a double whammy. It took 2 years to be convinced to even go to a fab social as a result. I want to feel that I'm actually wanted. No woman will get much more than a hello from me if I sense I'm not desired no matter how sexy she may come across. There are plenty of guys out there so that's OK for most of you women but the one who gets me will also need to work a bit for it too. " I think if a woman plays with you then you can rest assure that you are wanted. Women, on the whole don’t play with men they are not attracted to in some way. Mrs Mrs | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. Very well articulated and glad to hear there are others who feel much the same. I've articulated this many times over the years after my bad experience and Townhouse and Cupids over 2 yrs ago which put me off clubs completely. 'Cattle market' is how it felt to me. It's also why I will not meet couples either. (Very dismisive). No time was given to get to know me, it seemed most were in there to quickly play which I'm not complaining about as each to their own but I prefer chatting and getting to know without the constant interruptions of others butting in or siding over when you turn your head. I'd got up to get a drink for one lady and when I got back she was cover like flies with guys and that killed the mood for me. She got her free drinks anyway lol (and more I'd say). It's great for the ladies to have the ratio of 3or4:1 but leaves the guy like myself who has respect feeling like a piece of meet. I guess there will be many who don't see it like this or overlook it as part of the atmosphere. But not for me and to have to pay through the nose for that experience was a double whammy. It took 2 years to be convinced to even go to a fab social as a result. I want to feel that I'm actually wanted. No woman will get much more than a hello from me if I sense I'm not desired no matter how sexy she may come across. There are plenty of guys out there so that's OK for most of you women but the one who gets me will also need to work a bit for it too. I think if a woman plays with you then you can rest assure that you are wanted. Women, on the whole don’t play with men they are not attracted to in some way. Mrs Mrs" That is never in question. She might be interested in 3,5 or 10 of them and so wouldn't give me that 'I want you' message while chatting to a few guys. I'm straight also not fab straight so would only play 121....so a greedy girl wouldn't want me either | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. Very well articulated and glad to hear there are others who feel much the same. I've articulated this many times over the years after my bad experience and Townhouse and Cupids over 2 yrs ago which put me off clubs completely. 'Cattle market' is how it felt to me. It's also why I will not meet couples either. (Very dismisive). No time was given to get to know me, it seemed most were in there to quickly play which I'm not complaining about as each to their own but I prefer chatting and getting to know without the constant interruptions of others butting in or siding over when you turn your head. I'd got up to get a drink for one lady and when I got back she was cover like flies with guys and that killed the mood for me. She got her free drinks anyway lol (and more I'd say). It's great for the ladies to have the ratio of 3or4:1 but leaves the guy like myself who has respect feeling like a piece of meet. I guess there will be many who don't see it like this or overlook it as part of the atmosphere. But not for me and to have to pay through the nose for that experience was a double whammy. It took 2 years to be convinced to even go to a fab social as a result. I want to feel that I'm actually wanted. No woman will get much more than a hello from me if I sense I'm not desired no matter how sexy she may come across. There are plenty of guys out there so that's OK for most of you women but the one who gets me will also need to work a bit for it too. I think if a woman plays with you then you can rest assure that you are wanted. Women, on the whole don’t play with men they are not attracted to in some way. Mrs Mrs That is never in question. She might be interested in 3,5 or 10 of them and so wouldn't give me that 'I want you' message while chatting to a few guys. I'm straight also not fab straight so would only play 121....so a greedy girl wouldn't want me either "same | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. " its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. Very well articulated and glad to hear there are others who feel much the same. I've articulated this many times over the years after my bad experience and Townhouse and Cupids over 2 yrs ago which put me off clubs completely. 'Cattle market' is how it felt to me. It's also why I will not meet couples either. (Very dismisive). No time was given to get to know me, it seemed most were in there to quickly play which I'm not complaining about as each to their own but I prefer chatting and getting to know without the constant interruptions of others butting in or siding over when you turn your head. I'd got up to get a drink for one lady and when I got back she was cover like flies with guys and that killed the mood for me. She got her free drinks anyway lol (and more I'd say). It's great for the ladies to have the ratio of 3or4:1 but leaves the guy like myself who has respect feeling like a piece of meet. I guess there will be many who don't see it like this or overlook it as part of the atmosphere. But not for me and to have to pay through the nose for that experience was a double whammy. It took 2 years to be convinced to even go to a fab social as a result. I want to feel that I'm actually wanted. No woman will get much more than a hello from me if I sense I'm not desired no matter how sexy she may come across. There are plenty of guys out there so that's OK for most of you women but the one who gets me will also need to work a bit for it too. I think if a woman plays with you then you can rest assure that you are wanted. Women, on the whole don’t play with men they are not attracted to in some way. Mrs Mrs That is never in question. She might be interested in 3,5 or 10 of them and so wouldn't give me that 'I want you' message while chatting to a few guys. I'm straight also not fab straight so would only play 121....so a greedy girl wouldn't want me either "Yeah that makes sense, clubs probably aren’t the best place for 1 to 1 play. Although, I don’t think all women want many guys in one go. Certainly the guys I play with in clubs will be left in no doubt that I want them and are focused on them. Mrs | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't...." I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in "Two peas from same pod. | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in "If you can find a lady friend to accompany you, give a club another try. I've been to 4 different clubs as a single guy, and experienced similar to you on each occasion, leaving each time with that deflated, unwanted, and unnoticed feeling. Last month though, I went to Chams in Darlaston with my regular playmate, on a Friday 'mixed' night, and experienced a very different, and positive evening. Was I any different to when I went in as a single guy? No. But it was amazing to note how people turned to look at me, when I was with a woman, rather than turn their heads away from me, as a single | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in
If you can find a lady friend to accompany you, give a club another try. I've been to 4 different clubs as a single guy, and experienced similar to you on each occasion, leaving each time with that deflated, unwanted, and unnoticed feeling. Last month though, I went to Chams in Darlaston with my regular playmate, on a Friday 'mixed' night, and experienced a very different, and positive evening. Was I any different to when I went in as a single guy? No. But it was amazing to note how people turned to look at me, when I was with a woman, rather than turn their heads away from me, as a single "I had the same feeling at the social I went too with my plus one. Though it didn't end as I'd hoped as she hooked up with another guy late in the night and I'd left with egg on my face at 1 am but that was another lesson learnt. Those hours of playing before the social in the hotel may have been my mistake or I then should have looked for a second play for later without naively assuming we'd be together later. Lesson learnt though. | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in
If you can find a lady friend to accompany you, give a club another try. I've been to 4 different clubs as a single guy, and experienced similar to you on each occasion, leaving each time with that deflated, unwanted, and unnoticed feeling. Last month though, I went to Chams in Darlaston with my regular playmate, on a Friday 'mixed' night, and experienced a very different, and positive evening. Was I any different to when I went in as a single guy? No. But it was amazing to note how people turned to look at me, when I was with a woman, rather than turn their heads away from me, as a single "The other way round the problem is to attend with a couple as a trio. We like to do that. Obviously only works for guys who like playing with couples though. And brings back the same problem of couples-only nights, because obviously a trio where there is 2 men can’t attend a couples night. Mrs | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. its an interesting take....... there are a couple of things i want to bring up... you still talk in your "perfect party" scenario of guys being vetted.... which is the thing that the OP takes umbridge at because she doesn't feel a club should tell her who or what she should like..... whether it is a club doing the vetting or an event doing the vetting... people are still be vetted! so how do we get round that general issue? and thing in a weird way even if you do go to clubs, in the sea of idiots (both men and couples) you can still stand out by not being one.... by talking to people, by not being leary, just chatting and smiling and laughing..... anyone who knows me knows i'm a chatting gobshite, but chatty gobshite isn't codeword for trying to chat people up.... its chatting for chatting sake with no m.o you can normally tell who has some sort of masterplan and who doesn't.... I agree with you mate. Trouble is.. there are a sea of pricks to wade through.. So I personally don't mind being vetted via profile, verifications and then sent a polite message that's been tailored to me specifically.. you know.. the kinds of messages women and couples like to receive themselves. If I'd been vetted in that sense, then invited to a party, or club event based off the back of my response. I'd be quite touched and more likely to want to attend. As it stands, I have been vetted in that way a couple of times, but like I said before, the message was presumptuous and arrogant. I wasn't shown the same respect I'd imagine others who aren't single males are shown. Nobody asked what I may be looking for. One invite simply ignored me after their initial invite, because I dared to tell them I had zero experience as far as parties went. Fair enough if I'd have contacted them, but they made the first move on me. Anyone with common sense has to understand you need some level of vetting to cut down male numbers. I just think the way it's currently done (in MY experience) tends to filter out a lot of the quality men from the events/parties. Men like me who have self respect, stand by our guns, can hold a conversation and who stick up for ourselves and not lower our standards for any old bit of "Clunge". You know.. those strong confident, yet not arrogant types. I'm the same as you.. I didn't enter Xtasia expecting anything, I had no M.O. I knew I probably wasn't getting sex that night, off my own standards alone, it was unlikely. I had some good conversations with some nice men and women. I saw a lot that rubbed me up the wrong way though and I expect most clubs work the same way on nights single guys are allowed in. Which is why ive no interest on returning.. unless.. I'm with a friend, or I've been invited politely and treated the same as a couple/female and expected to pay the same. Quality over quantity type event is what I'd prefer, but we're all different and I appreciate my needs are at the bottom of the Fab pile of stuff to sort out. As there are a billion other guts ready to take my place. I'm fine with it. Just wanted to put my two pence in
If you can find a lady friend to accompany you, give a club another try. I've been to 4 different clubs as a single guy, and experienced similar to you on each occasion, leaving each time with that deflated, unwanted, and unnoticed feeling. Last month though, I went to Chams in Darlaston with my regular playmate, on a Friday 'mixed' night, and experienced a very different, and positive evening. Was I any different to when I went in as a single guy? No. But it was amazing to note how people turned to look at me, when I was with a woman, rather than turn their heads away from me, as a single
The other way round the problem is to attend with a couple as a trio. We like to do that. Obviously only works for guys who like playing with couples though. And brings back the same problem of couples-only nights, because obviously a trio where there is 2 men can’t attend a couples night.
Mrs"Do clubs allow MM couples? | |||
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"I visited clubs as a single guy a few times before we got together and started going as a couple. To be honest I didn't really enjoy it and never met any single women that I was remotely interested in, as I wasn't interested in playing with couples either it really was a waste of my time in terms of meeting anyone to play with. Maybe I was just going to the wrong clubs or the type of women I go for don't attend clubs alone. I don't really know but based on my experiences I'm surprised so many single guys keep going to them." maybe because the single guys who do go have a different mindset... in the way they either conduct themselves from a personality point of view... or from a mindset one.... but if you go to a club and there is no one there you want to play with..... thats not the fault of the club! i just feel that in a lot of the examples of why people won't go to clubs in this thread are things outside of the clubs control.... people are basing or judging a club not on the things a club can control, such as facilities, but on things a club can't.... on whether they got to play or not...... too much of "well they didn't come to me!" in which i am then screaming "well why did you not go to them!" mindreaders people tend not to be! so you all want people to play with, that want you, and you want a club to have all those people lined up for you.... you are asking a club to do a lot.... so you want vetting, but not too much vetting, and vetting for the people you don't want, but you complain when people vet..... eh?????????????????????
the one other thing i will say is this... in cities/areas where there is more than one club, I do think they are missing a trick by all having the same night on the same night....... even from a business point of view it it only takes one to flip and then they are appealing to different people and thus increasing revenues.... | |||
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"I think clubs should be open to all, whether single males, single females or couples as we are all adults and capable of choosing who we play with. " ... and on a lot of nights they are.... but i would said to you is there then not room for bi nights, or bbw nights, or interacial nights, or bdsm nights, or couples nights.... or does every night have to be the same..... a lot of those nights might not be aimed at me... or don't interest me.... but i will defend the right for people to be able to have those nights!
or is every who wants something different suppose to be outcast to the shadows..... | |||
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"I think clubs should be open to all, whether single males, single females or couples as we are all adults and capable of choosing who we play with. ... and on a lot of nights they are.... but i would said to you is there then not room for bi nights, or bbw nights, or interacial nights, or bdsm nights, or couples nights.... or does every night have to be the same..... a lot of those nights might not be aimed at me... or don't interest me.... but i will defend the right for people to be able to have those nights!
or is every who wants something different suppose to be outcast to the shadows....."Not at all, I think themed nights are good, but I think a lot of the time clubs are biased towards single females and couples. | |||
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" Not at all, I think themed nights are good, but I think a lot of the time clubs are biased towards single females and couples. " but i would say show me a club where singles men aren't allowed to go lets say 75% of the time.... i don't think its a case of couples and limited single men/fems thats the issue.... i think that because most of them are based on saturday nights it gives a very skewed outlook on what is happening and thats why i said in areas where are a cluster of clubs.... if some of them were to flip... i don't think there would be so many issues vetting/not vetting... talking/not talking/ waiting on someone to come to you! reactive/proactive...... | |||
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" Not at all, I think themed nights are good, but I think a lot of the time clubs are biased towards single females and couples. but i would say show me a club where singles men aren't allowed to go lets say 75% of the time.... i don't think its a case of couples and limited single men/fems thats the issue.... i think that because most of them are based on saturday nights it gives a very skewed outlook on what is happening and thats why i said in areas where are a cluster of clubs.... if some of them were to flip... i don't think there would be so many issues vetting/not vetting... talking/not talking/ waiting on someone to come to you! reactive/proactive...... " Definately it’s the Saturday night habit that’s the problem. I totally understand that some couples want a couples only event, and I’m within my right to choose not to go. And I sympathise with couples who want couples only but can only play on Friday nights when guys are allowed. Mrs | |||
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"I visited clubs as a single guy a few times before we got together and started going as a couple. To be honest I didn't really enjoy it and never met any single women that I was remotely interested in, as I wasn't interested in playing with couples either it really was a waste of my time in terms of meeting anyone to play with. Maybe I was just going to the wrong clubs or the type of women I go for don't attend clubs alone. I don't really know but based on my experiences I'm surprised so many single guys keep going to them. maybe because the single guys who do go have a different mindset... in the way they either conduct themselves from a personality point of view... or from a mindset one.... but if you go to a club and there is no one there you want to play with..... thats not the fault of the club! i just feel that in a lot of the examples of why people won't go to clubs in this thread are things outside of the clubs control.... people are basing or judging a club not on the things a club can control, such as facilities, but on things a club can't.... on whether they got to play or not...... too much of "well they didn't come to me!" in which i am then screaming "well why did you not go to them!" mindreaders people tend not to be! so you all want people to play with, that want you, and you want a club to have all those people lined up for you.... you are asking a club to do a lot.... so you want vetting, but not too much vetting, and vetting for the people you don't want, but you complain when people vet..... eh?????????????????????
the one other thing i will say is this... in cities/areas where there is more than one club, I do think they are missing a trick by all having the same night on the same night....... even from a business point of view it it only takes one to flip and then they are appealing to different people and thus increasing revenues...."Good post Fabio. We've been to some of our favourite clubs and had awful nights. Not the clubs fault but it just didn't work on the night. We've also been to what could be described as crappy clubs and had great nights. I remember one night in particular a few years ago when we tried a place for the first time. Within 5 minutes of arriving we thought oops mistake. The place had a slightly run down look about it and there was hardly anyone else in the place, just a handful of single guys wearing towels and propping the bar up. We decided to give it an hour, more out of politeness than anything else, and see what happens. More people turned up and the owner was a life and soul of the party type who networked himself around the club talking to everyone and really built up a good atmosphere. In the end we had a great night with a fun party mood and yes lots of sex. While not our favourite place we still go back quite often | |||
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"I’ve always been surprised that no clubs have broken what seems to be the unspoken rule of running clubs that single guys are only allowed in on a Friday. This seems to make no sense to me because as several couples and women have said here they prefer events where single gents are allowed and are only free on Saturdays. No doubt there are alternatively couples who don’t like single gents who can only do Fridays. So surely there is a business advantage to a club that at least occasionally swaps the nights around. I know that many who prefer mixed events host and attend private parties for this reason. Plus it also helps them vet the single guys in advance and ensure that they have guys who know how to behave and perform in attendance. So until clubs change their policies I’d suggest searching out private parties as an alternative I’d also generally say avoid greedy girl events as the quality of men is often shocking " I think this is area based. In the north west the majority of clubs allow single guys on a Saturday. The only one I can think of that has that as their couples night is infusions. I believe all the following are NOT couples only on a sat and based in North west: No 3 Cupid Decadence Adam and eve Amour Townhouse Gatehouse I'm unsure of Entice as it's new Some (not all) may vet/limit/expect pre booking etc but I believe all the above will have singles if they choose to attend | |||
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"I only meet single men and would consider myself straight. I have played with couples and ladies at clubs, and whilst this was incredibly hot, it was more of an ‘in the moment’ thing and not something that I would actively seek out. I like to meet men at clubs for several reasons. Of course there is the safety aspect, but I also like the opportunity to socialise with several men on the same night. This increases the chances of clicking with someone, whereas on a one-to-one meet you only get one chance. It’s quite clear that clubs and party organisers favour couples and single ladies. Either men aren’t allowed on certain nights or it’s men by invite only. If there’s going to be a very limited selection of single men, then I’m not going! Why do clubs presume to know my type and think i’m incapable of filtering out the twits for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? Would other single ladies (or perhaps couples wanting to play this way) like to see a night where the chance to meet single men is actually encouraged? " Which clubs | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. That was really well said and has got me thinking a whole different side to men
Thanks I hope it's a good side "Most certainly is x | |||
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"When I went to Xtasia - I e only been to one club.. once. I WAS educated straight away by the woman who showed me around, I didn't want the tour particularly, because I didn't want to be paraded around as the new guy. I didn't want the riot act read to me, because I know how to behave. I'm pretty sure I was even subtly tested at one point to see if I were the type of man who would touch or comment innapropriatelt, though I won't be specific as to how this was tested. All a little humiliating in my view, but necessary. As there are men who have gone through all of this process... yet still go and break all the very good advice I was given by my guide. a) Go and introduce yourself politely. b) Don't touch unless invited to or there is some action in the dark, open room. c) Don't go into the play area unless invited. d) Don't walk around like a dog on heat. e) Don't ruin anyone else's experience. f) Treat people as if it were a bar or nightclub, nothing more, nothing less. Yet I saw all the rules broken by every guy in there who wasn't already part of a couple. Bar me and an older dude. I don't blame Xtasia, they try hard to give the guys the advice that's needed, they can't force them to take it. I went alone, I had nobody to talk to, tried making small chat with the bar staff and some couples in the smoking area. To lesser and greater degrees of success. I'm not the sort of guy who chats up women in clubs or pubs though, I'm more of a chilled out kind of guy. I won't try any one-up-manship, making myself look better by dragging someone else down... the second myself and the older dude were approached by a young women.. even the old dude turned nasty and tried to put me down to big himself up... What I want as a single man when it comes to a swingers club is... 1/3rd Women, 1/3rd men, 1/3rd couples. If you have to vet me through Fab and in person or I only get an invite through a personal reccomendation.. I'm fine with that. Again I have to say all the staff at Xtasia were fantastic - I can't really fault the club in anyway. I just wish there were an event of some kind where I wasn't made to feel like a dirty, unwanted pervert or doormat to be walked on by other men. This dog may not bite at the time, but push him hard enough and he'll clamp down without letting go.. which is why I don't bite. Perhaps a party is the way to go in future, if I fancy a bit of group fun.. but every invite I've had so far has been done in a way that.. makes me feel as if I should be especially grateful, especially thankful, honoured and yet again... I'm a piece of meat, second fiddle to everyone else... oh... and I have to pay... a fair bit. I want to feel like I'm wanted there, that I've been picked because of who I am. That someone may have asked specifically for me after reading my profile. I want to feel like I'm welcome. It seems as if the ONLY place I am, is in the bedsheets of the women who take the time to get to know me.... and you know what fellas? They're that nice, I'm in no hurry to rush off to any Club, be part of a Stable of hunks, or go to a party. Don't sell yourselves short men. You deserve better. That was really well said and has got me thinking a whole different side to men
Thanks I hope it's a good side
Most certainly is x" | |||
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"I’ve always been surprised that no clubs have broken what seems to be the unspoken rule of running clubs that single guys are only allowed in on a Friday. This seems to make no sense to me because as several couples and women have said here they prefer events where single gents are allowed and are only free on Saturdays. No doubt there are alternatively couples who don’t like single gents who can only do Fridays. So surely there is a business advantage to a club that at least occasionally swaps the nights around. I know that many who prefer mixed events host and attend private parties for this reason. Plus it also helps them vet the single guys in advance and ensure that they have guys who know how to behave and perform in attendance. So until clubs change their policies I’d suggest searching out private parties as an alternative I’d also generally say avoid greedy girl events as the quality of men is often shocking I think this is area based. In the north west the majority of clubs allow single guys on a Saturday. The only one I can think of that has that as their couples night is infusions. I believe all the following are NOT couples only on a sat and based in North west: No 3 Cupid Decadence Adam and eve Amour Townhouse Gatehouse I'm unsure of Entice as it's new Some (not all) may vet/limit/expect pre booking etc but I believe all the above will have singles if they choose to attend" Amours and Cupid’s tend to be mixed on a Saturday. I try to let the club know I am coming. Mainly because I want to make sure I can get in. It’s a shame not many of the more southern clubs allow single guys in on a Saturday. On a Friday i can’t even get to Birmingham to Chams after work because of peak times on the trains. Also with abfabs closing the options are becoming less and less | |||
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"I’ve always been surprised that no clubs have broken what seems to be the unspoken rule of running clubs that single guys are only allowed in on a Friday. This seems to make no sense to me because as several couples and women have said here they prefer events where single gents are allowed and are only free on Saturdays. No doubt there are alternatively couples who don’t like single gents who can only do Fridays. So surely there is a business advantage to a club that at least occasionally swaps the nights around. I know that many who prefer mixed events host and attend private parties for this reason. Plus it also helps them vet the single guys in advance and ensure that they have guys who know how to behave and perform in attendance. So until clubs change their policies I’d suggest searching out private parties as an alternative I’d also generally say avoid greedy girl events as the quality of men is often shocking I think this is area based. In the north west the majority of clubs allow single guys on a Saturday. The only one I can think of that has that as their couples night is infusions. I believe all the following are NOT couples only on a sat and based in North west: No 3 Cupid Decadence Adam and eve Amour Townhouse Gatehouse I'm unsure of Entice as it's new Some (not all) may vet/limit/expect pre booking etc but I believe all the above will have singles if they choose to attend Amours and Cupid’s tend to be mixed on a Saturday. I try to let the club know I am coming. Mainly because I want to make sure I can get in. It’s a shame not many of the more southern clubs allow single guys in on a Saturday. On a Friday i can’t even get to Birmingham to Chams after work because of peak times on the trains. Also with abfabs closing the options are becoming less and less " Have you tried Eureka, we really enjoyed it when we ventured that far south | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful "As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones "but then that comes back around to the original point... is that you are doing vetting when the OP said there should not be any? so who has the "right" to vet? the person? the organisers? the club? people are complaining because the clubs vet and/or only let in a certain amount of people.... i would say that is no different than is for example "swingles vet? (just picking them because they shilling and shilling in this thread!) some are advocating it should be mixed night every night? there is no right answer....people will find a way to be upset if they feel something isn't aimed at them.... thats why i say clubs for example can't do right for doing wrong in some peoples eyes...... | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones "Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing. It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences. Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person. | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones
Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing.
It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences.
Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person."Do you have a view as to how women dress at clubs? Mrs | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones
Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing.
It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences.
Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person.
Do you have a view as to how women dress at clubs?
Mrs"None When I meet women on a social I tell them I'm pretty laid back about all that, I'll dress a little smart if they like that and I like them. I prefer a woman who is comfortable as it's pretty nerve wrecking meeting new people on this level.. You're both vulnerable. It's usually met with lots of relief.
I'm not a huge fan of Basques or Corsets.. don't get me wrong, most women do look fantastic in them. It seems like everyone has the Anne Summers wardrobe though and it's a little boring now if I'm honest.. I much prefer the relaxed surfer girl look.. hoody and jeans/shorts.
If I find her attractive, she'll look attractive in anything though.
Corsets and Basques are too fiddly for me when I'm all sexed up and flustered.. I prefer skin to skin contact all over.
Not a fan of loads of makeup either.. a little can do wonders. I don't want to have sex with THE Mask | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones
Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing.
It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences.
Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person.
Do you have a view as to how women dress at clubs?
Mrs
None When I meet women on a social I tell them I'm pretty laid back about all that, I'll dress a little smart if they like that and I like them. I prefer a woman who is comfortable as it's pretty nerve wrecking meeting new people on this level.. You're both vulnerable. It's usually met with lots of relief.
I'm not a huge fan of Basques or Corsets.. don't get me wrong, most women do look fantastic in them. It seems like everyone has the Anne Summers wardrobe though and it's a little boring now if I'm honest.. I much prefer the relaxed surfer girl look.. hoody and jeans/shorts.
If I find her attractive, she'll look attractive in anything though.
Corsets and Basques are too fiddly for me when I'm all sexed up and flustered.. I prefer skin to skin contact all over.
Not a fan of loads of makeup either.. a little can do wonders. I don't want to have sex with THE Mask "Maybe You think I'm boring Vanilla? Maybe you think I'm trying to paint myself in a certain light? I'm not.. it's genuinely how I feel. | |||
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"If a club has a dress code, then everyone should adhere to it. When we go, we want to go somewhere where we make an effort, it is all part of the excitement and builds the desire. For those that don’t want to dress up, fair enough, but clubs should still check against their dress code. If a guy, couple or woman haven’t made the effort then they start at a disadvantage, as we like looking at people who have made the effort - undressing with the eye is sexy "Totally agreed.. If there is a dresscode, stick to it or don't expect to be allowed in.. Simples. Personally I don't go to normal nightclubs with dress codes.. hated those sorts of clubs as a sprog growing up. So I'm not going to attend a swingers club that operates in the same way. I understand the decision, respect it, it's just not for me is all. | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones
Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing.
It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences.
Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person.
Do you have a view as to how women dress at clubs?
Mrs
None When I meet women on a social I tell them I'm pretty laid back about all that, I'll dress a little smart if they like that and I like them. I prefer a woman who is comfortable as it's pretty nerve wrecking meeting new people on this level.. You're both vulnerable. It's usually met with lots of relief.
I'm not a huge fan of Basques or Corsets.. don't get me wrong, most women do look fantastic in them. It seems like everyone has the Anne Summers wardrobe though and it's a little boring now if I'm honest.. I much prefer the relaxed surfer girl look.. hoody and jeans/shorts.
If I find her attractive, she'll look attractive in anything though.
Corsets and Basques are too fiddly for me when I'm all sexed up and flustered.. I prefer skin to skin contact all over.
Not a fan of loads of makeup either.. a little can do wonders. I don't want to have sex with THE Mask
Maybe You think I'm boring Vanilla? Maybe you think I'm trying to paint myself in a certain light? I'm not.. it's genuinely how I feel."Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you "I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though. | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you
I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though. "I know lots of women LOVE getting dolled up and I like seeing the excitement when they do. If it helps them feel sexier than grrrreat. I'm all for that.. I wonder how many feel sexier in something more casual though? | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you
I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though. "I suspect I attract the kind of guys who want the heels, mini skirts and lingerie, hence giving me a biased view of what men want. Men who prefer women in their ‘natural state’ probably wouldn’t pursue me (unless they stumble across at the school gate in which case they would assume I’m not available) therefore I wouldn’t know those men exist. | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you
I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though.
I suspect I attract the kind of guys who want the heels, mini skirts and lingerie, hence giving me a biased view of what men want. Men who prefer women in their ‘natural state’ probably wouldn’t pursue me (unless they stumble across at the school gate in which case they would assume I’m not available) therefore I wouldn’t know those men exist. "Who do you want to attract? The guys who you currently attract or a different kind of man? I can give you tips on attracting someone who thinks more like I do if you want.. We are not that hard to figure out. I'd say the hard bit is figuring out WHAT you want though.. for most of us lol | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you
I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though.
I suspect I attract the kind of guys who want the heels, mini skirts and lingerie, hence giving me a biased view of what men want. Men who prefer women in their ‘natural state’ probably wouldn’t pursue me (unless they stumble across at the school gate in which case they would assume I’m not available) therefore I wouldn’t know those men exist.
Who do you want to attract? The guys who you currently attract or a different kind of man? I can give you tips on attracting someone who thinks more like I do if you want.. We are not that hard to figure out.
I'd say the hard bit is figuring out WHAT you want though.. for most of us lol"I guess I don’t want to pick someone up at the school gate or from work. Been there done that (well not the school gate). But it does suit me to be a encouraged to be someone different from what I am in regular life. But as a result I attract men who are looking for that. And I think the swing scene is full of men looking for that fantasy. | |||
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" Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you
I thought there might be, I could see it was a leading question lol.. but I stand by my answer I'm not sure if I'm normal in that sense.. or what the other guys honestly think.. I'd be kind of interested to know though.
I suspect I attract the kind of guys who want the heels, mini skirts and lingerie, hence giving me a biased view of what men want. Men who prefer women in their ‘natural state’ probably wouldn’t pursue me (unless they stumble across at the school gate in which case they would assume I’m not available) therefore I wouldn’t know those men exist.
Who do you want to attract? The guys who you currently attract or a different kind of man? I can give you tips on attracting someone who thinks more like I do if you want.. We are not that hard to figure out.
I'd say the hard bit is figuring out WHAT you want though.. for most of us lol
I guess I don’t want to pick someone up at the school gate or from work. Been there done that (well not the school gate). But it does suit me to be a encouraged to be someone different from what I am in regular life. But as a result I attract men who are looking for that. And I think the swing scene is full of men looking for that fantasy."I think you are correct. I'm happy to be in a little corner, or dancing on my own though | |||
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"Swingles by _he playgrounds is a good night which allows single guys in on a Saturday night. The guys must also be well verified. Playgrounds have a profile on here "Demanding that single guys be "well verified" is a problem. Any time a new single guy is asking for advice on how to get verified, the standard answer is "go to a club". If the clubs, require him to be verified before they'll let him in... | |||
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"Swingles by _he playgrounds is a good night which allows single guys in on a Saturday night. The guys must also be well verified. Playgrounds have a profile on here
Demanding that single guys be "well verified" is a problem. Any time a new single guy is asking for advice on how to get verified, the standard answer is "go to a club". If the clubs, require him to be verified before they'll let him in..."Hmmm that is a very good point. I had three when they let me attend. I didn't bother asking till then though. | |||
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"Swingles by _he playgrounds is a good night which allows single guys in on a Saturday night. The guys must also be well verified. Playgrounds have a profile on here
Demanding that single guys be "well verified" is a problem. Any time a new single guy is asking for advice on how to get verified, the standard answer is "go to a club". If the clubs, require him to be verified before they'll let him in..."When single guys ask us how they could possibly obtain verifications, we have always said to them to try socials, that are often advertised here on Fab, as a great way to meet people and possibly gain a few verifications, or try to arrange some one on one meets. | |||
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"Swingles by _he playgrounds is a good night which allows single guys in on a Saturday night. The guys must also be well verified. Playgrounds have a profile on here
Demanding that single guys be "well verified" is a problem. Any time a new single guy is asking for advice on how to get verified, the standard answer is "go to a club". If the clubs, require him to be verified before they'll let him in...
When single guys ask us how they could possibly obtain verifications, we have always said to them to try socials, that are often advertised here on Fab, as a great way to meet people and possibly gain a few verifications, or try to arrange some one on one meets. "If I was starting all over again.. That's the route I would take. Great advice! The ones closest to me, Worcester and Gloucester seem to be run by very approachable friendly people and happy to answer mundane questions from an inquisitive mind. I've not gone to one myself, but I think that's great advice for ANYONE who is struggling to meet someone through Fab alone, Couples and Singles. It's also a little more relaxed and less pressured than Clubs from what I gather. Don't go to your nearest one, if discretion and privacy are something you're concerned about though, might be something to consider. | |||
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" Don't go to your nearest one, if discretion and privacy are something you're concerned about though, might be something to consider." see this is why we fall out.... people should support their local clubs...... and if you are adult enough to be doing then, then you will be meeting other people adult enough to be doing this..... people are not going to be saying " well i know that X goes to a club... because then next question would be "and you know this how?" and they would in effect out themselves...... | |||
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" Don't go to your nearest one, if discretion and privacy are something you're concerned about though, might be something to consider. see this is why we fall out.... people should support their local clubs...... and if you are adult enough to be doing then, then you will be meeting other people adult enough to be doing this..... people are not going to be saying " well i know that X goes to a club... because then next question would be "and you know this how?" and they would in effect out themselves...... " I'm not falling out with you. Why bother getting into an argument with a man who hasn't read what I've said? I was talking about Socials not Clubs. Believe it or not, not everyone is as... "Confident"... As you Fabio. Some people have Public jobs, some value their privacy. Some would rather not bump into someone they may know when they're starting out. Please stop railing against everything I say, just because you don't have the same opinion. If you have to though, read what I've said, it may give you a leg to stand on next time. | |||
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" Don't go to your nearest one, if discretion and privacy are something you're concerned about though, might be something to consider. see this is why we fall out.... people should support their local clubs...... and if you are adult enough to be doing then, then you will be meeting other people adult enough to be doing this..... people are not going to be saying " well i know that X goes to a club... because then next question would be "and you know this how?" and they would in effect out themselves...... I'm not falling out with you. Why bother getting into an argument with a man who hasn't read what I've said? I was talking about Socials not Clubs. Believe it or not, not everyone is as... "Confident"... As you Fabio. Some people have Public jobs, some value their privacy. Some would rather not bump into someone they may know when they're starting out. Please stop railing against everything I say, just because you don't have the same opinion. If you have to though, read what I've said, it may give you a leg to stand on next time." i was talking about local events full stop..... if no one goes to local events... no one organises them!... and everyone loses out..... remember that next time you put your name down for a social!
and again... the majority of socials are non play events..... the social is short for socialising, it is not some sort of codeword for orgy!... drink chat and network!
and then if nothing is organised by people prepared to put themselves out you get the complaints of "why is nothing every organised in my area?"
its a double edged sword and sometimes i think you talk from a sense of nievity.... in that based on one club and no socials......
if people don't support local events be they clubs or socials, they don't grow and in fact die.... | |||
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" Don't go to your nearest one, if discretion and privacy are something you're concerned about though, might be something to consider. see this is why we fall out.... people should support their local clubs...... and if you are adult enough to be doing then, then you will be meeting other people adult enough to be doing this..... people are not going to be saying " well i know that X goes to a club... because then next question would be "and you know this how?" and they would in effect out themselves...... I'm not falling out with you. Why bother getting into an argument with a man who hasn't read what I've said? I was talking about Socials not Clubs. Believe it or not, not everyone is as... "Confident"... As you Fabio. Some people have Public jobs, some value their privacy. Some would rather not bump into someone they may know when they're starting out. Please stop railing against everything I say, just because you don't have the same opinion. If you have to though, read what I've said, it may give you a leg to stand on next time. i was talking about local events full stop..... if no one goes to local events... no one organises them!... and everyone loses out..... remember that next time you put your name down for a social!
and again... the majority of socials are non play events..... the social is short for socialising, it is not some sort of codeword for orgy!... drink chat and network!
and then if nothing is organised by people prepared to put themselves out you get the complaints of "why is nothing every organised in my area?"
its a double edged sword and sometimes i think you talk from a sense of nievity.... in that based on one club and no socials......
if people don't support local events be they clubs or socials, they don't grow and in fact die.... "Naivety? Coming from a guy who doesn't seem capable of empathise or acknowledge an opinion other than his own? Amusing.
I suggest we call it a day and leave each other be from now on Fabio, I've no desire to waste anymore of my life on you. | |||
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"This thread has taught me two things: 1. Don’t express an interest for a different type of club night. Make do with what’s on offer and be bloody grateful! 2. Many people perceive the majority single men to be wanking zombies with as much personality and social skills as an intimate object. Oh and 3. dont bother posting in the forums again! Even what was intended to be a positive suggestion for something a bit different fills up with moany criticising buggers! I think the actual answer for you, lies in the Greedy Girl events "Sorry but have you seen some of the guys that go to these nights? Don’t think I’d have played with any of the guys there. I’ve only been to one GG night at my local club and went with a guy who I did play with. I’d certainly never go to a GG night on my own. I liked the original question the OP posted. At my local club only 10 single guys are allowed in on a fun for all night. There are couples and single girl nights as well as other theme nights/afternoons but I’m not looking for couples. I do think the swingles night is good and maybe one I’ll suggest. | |||
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"Completely agree with you OP and am always looking for club nights where single men are encouraged/plentiful
As a couple we like club nights with Single guys allowed it only takes one to catch our eye and it can make our night, it can get annoying when some just follow you everywhere but in a way I suppose it’s a compliment, just remember single guys turn up dressed to impress we see a lot in scruffy jeans and a t-shirt and think well you've got no chance, and they are generally the annoying ones
Ahhh see.. My fashion sense.. or "Lack of one" means, I'd prefer to be dressed that way. Though I didn't when I went. I'm not a peacock competing for couples or female attention. I am myself, me.. take me as I am, or not at all. It's a good filter for me also, as I'd not want someone who judged me by the clothes I'm wearing.
It's a hard thing to give advice on, other than a few basic pointers that apply to everyone's taste. Have a shower, clean clothes, be respectful. Everything else is subjective though and down to personal preferences.
Which is why I get very annoyed with those who jump in on someone else's personal opinion, or experience. We're all different, with differing tastes.. to the point our own tastes sometimes alter in time.. or after spending time with a different kind of person.
Do you have a view as to how women dress at clubs?
Mrs
None When I meet women on a social I tell them I'm pretty laid back about all that, I'll dress a little smart if they like that and I like them. I prefer a woman who is comfortable as it's pretty nerve wrecking meeting new people on this level.. You're both vulnerable. It's usually met with lots of relief.
I'm not a huge fan of Basques or Corsets.. don't get me wrong, most women do look fantastic in them. It seems like everyone has the Anne Summers wardrobe though and it's a little boring now if I'm honest.. I much prefer the relaxed surfer girl look.. hoody and jeans/shorts.
If I find her attractive, she'll look attractive in anything though.
Corsets and Basques are too fiddly for me when I'm all sexed up and flustered.. I prefer skin to skin contact all over.
Not a fan of loads of makeup either.. a little can do wonders. I don't want to have sex with THE Mask
Maybe You think I'm boring Vanilla? Maybe you think I'm trying to paint myself in a certain light? I'm not.. it's genuinely how I feel.
Not at all, I wasn’t thinking that. My question is because I find it ironic how there is often an expectation for women to dress to meet men’s fantasies (which suits me fine), yet some men don’t feel the need to give the same back in return. This is obviously not the case with you "If I am in a dressed club I tend to wear the following Shoes Dark jeans black or navy. Not ripped. A shirt with a collar, be it a long sleeved tshirt or a dress shirt, Blazer or jacket With some new boxers on If in dressdown club then boxers and a towel | |||
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