FabSwingers.com forum: Singe men in clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Staff tell you to mix in and chst to others. They are fine and work hard i n the clubs ive been to, however, i get the distinct ferling from the couples that go there that single men aren't as welcome.

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of clubs have option nowadays of couple/single female nights so if gives the couples option if there not wanting to meet single guys. Will always be couples that are only wanting to meet single females and not single males that’s there choice. Some single guys don’t help themselves in clubs tho. Witnessed myself something by a single guy that was shocking other week in a club. Just be respectful chat and take no as a no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Is that just normal anywhere you go, even at work or the local pub, just because you are in a swingers club it does not mean that you must mix with everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think clubs have it exactly right, we don't really ever go with the intention of playing with single guys and are usually part of the 'clique' that you describe. That is how we like to swing and we every right to do so. If we go on a night where singles guys are allowed in we know what to expect, and I think there is an element of buyer beware on those nights (i.e. be prepared to be swamped by single guys). I think clubs could do a lot more in terms of educating single guys about etiquette, and more importantly the more effective ways of getting to play, because standing in corridor wanking isn't the most effective tactic. (I.e. wank zombies, unwanted touching, entering couples only areas and my personal favorite of banging on a locked private in the hope we will let you join in)

I think one of the big problems is people's perception of what a club is and how normal swinger interactions take place. See it as a place where you have the opportunity to make friends who are open minded, not somewhere where every woman in the club is desperate for you to fuck them. The usual laws of attraction apply.

It must be really tough for a single guy in a club and there are some who just aren't the right personality type to succeed.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I don't go to clubs often As a single guy unless I am there to meet someone. As a single guy it can be hard to approach others specially if like myself you are on the shy side.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We only swing in clubs and only visit clubs on evenings when single guys are allowed entry. Well behaved respectful single guys are always welcome as far as we are concerned.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Couples do want nice, fun, respectful guys who can chat and understand how play works.

Any guy who gets all that will have a blast at a club.

So called cliques are the same for anyone, if you are a new couple or single. But they are just groups of people who know each other, chatting. A clique is a group that excludes others. Some might be, most won't.

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights."

Not always true. Couples will go when it suits them, and if want to go on a mixed night and they want to cold shoulder the single guys nobody can do a thing about it. They are under no obligation to mix with anyone they don't want to. Just because it's a mixed night doesn't mean that they can't just pair up with another couple and ignore everyone else that's around them. That's their perogative.

Couples only nights can also be more expensive at some clubs (no single guy subsidy)

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Most single guys know Club/Swinging etiquette and are very respectful....I dont mind them at all and will chat to anyone as i love to socialise. Some guys get the wrong idea and take this the wrong way...remember guys....NO MEANS NO...and just cos I'm (or the FEM) is friendly doesn't mean you're "in there" and you have the right to touch.

Be nice don't expect too much and you'll go a long way.

Thingy xx

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Forgot to add this lol.

I think clubs on the whole have got the single guys just right.

Thingy

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

I can and have played with single men in clubs but I mainly go for ladies and couples. Some men are lovely. Those are the type I like. Some are complete twonks. I was in a club with a fem friend, got there early to have a bite to eat and catch up. Found a quiet corner. Deep in conversation single man comes sits in between us. No introduction. No mind if I join you. Just plonked himself right between us. Well you can imagine my reaction 'what the fuck are you doing'? He wanted to play. Errr no do one.

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I can and have played with single men in clubs but I mainly go for ladies and couples. Some men are lovely. Those are the type I like. Some are complete twonks. I was in a club with a fem friend, got there early to have a bite to eat and catch up. Found a quiet corner. Deep in conversation single man comes sits in between us. No introduction. No mind if I join you. Just plonked himself right between us. Well you can imagine my reaction 'what the fuck are you doing'? He wanted to play. Errr no do one.

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful."

Big lesson for the guys there. If he had known how to act properly, his night could have turned out very differently. If people can't even manage the basics, how will they ever manage anything more....

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Exactly! It's all about reading the scene, social skills and the approach. God he could have had such a good night lol.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights."

Absolutely right I know I’m once again picking up the torch for single guys on here but I’ve found a big percentage of couples want to meet guys.I have play partners on here and when I go to a club as a couple providing my friend is happy I’m usually up for some moresomes providing the guys have made some sort of effort to communicate.However last night I went out as a single and once again all the lads who made an effort were busy.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We really appreciate The Attic allowing single guys on Saturday nights, as Caroline often likes to have 3 or more at once, and we've met some really nice guys there.

It helps that they're not allowed to follow us around or join in uninvited- the staff are great at policing this- we also really appreciate those who make an effort to look good instead of the usual jeans & t-shirt look.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My preference would be to have plenty of single men as a single woman I'm not sure about playing with a couple and any 3some would have to be mmf (personal preference) I think there should be limits on all so it's not overrun by one type. Admittedly I'm currently trying to gather the courage for my first club trip so maybe I'm not the best person to be giving their opinion ??

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I mainly go to meet single men so I avoid nights where they aren't allowed.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Just a point on single guys in clubs I’ve noticed there are a few that obviously don’t communicate at all and refuse to make eye contact with any other guys.Ive found out by being friendly with the other lads makes the atmosphere more relaxed for everyone but also you make friends that way information and introductions come your way as well as invites to boys nights out etc.

Last night for example there was a guy who’d chatted to a few people but had missed out and a couple of us had a word with a naughty lady and they both had some fun.Had he made no effort with anyone he could have gone home empty handed

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Like little duck following mummy duck. Go chat with people first before you prowl and pounce. It’s really that simple.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just a point on single guys in clubs I’ve noticed there are a few that obviously don’t communicate at all and refuse to make eye contact with any other guys.Ive found out by being friendly with the other lads makes the atmosphere more relaxed for everyone but also you make friends that way information and introductions come your way as well as invites to boys nights out etc.

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

I remember one occasion i asked if it wpuld be ok to join in, the guy stopped what he was doing and angrily/assertively bellowed "No!" i shrugged it off and walked away. i take people as i find them. Yes there is a clique a d get the message on social levels if not wanted, i which i don't hang about snd don't bother with em again.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

)

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

) "

Join in as in stopped them playing and asked to join? Or join in with general conversation?

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

)

Join in as in stopped them playing and asked to join? Or join in with general conversation?"

Yes please tell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like little duck following mummy duck. Go chat with people first before you prowl and pounce. It’s really that simple. "

Duks, lol, see em in a clump moving as one with legs trundling along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that make the real effort in clubs seem to get the reward . We love single guys in clubs and personally think there's not enogh but no point going if your going to sit there like a lemon ogling but not making any effort to communicate and socialise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10 single guys in a club = 300 quid

20 = 600 quid

It's a business ....easy money.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"The ones that make the real effort in clubs seem to get the reward . We love single guys in clubs and personally think there's not enogh but no point going if your going to sit there like a lemon ogling but not making any effort to communicate and socialise "

So do you, as a couple, just sit back and wait for guys to approach you?

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So do you, as a couple, just sit back and wait for guys to approach you?"

No. Just like single females dont. People socialise. All have to make an effort.

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights."

This. We don't want to meet single men at clubs, therefore we go on couples only nights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights."

Maybe they haven’t got a couples only night at their local club or maybe that’s the only night they are free.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

) "

Talk to the men? Why not the ladies?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

)

Join in as in stopped them playing and asked to join? Or join in with general conversation?

Yes please tell"

Lol i was standing with my cock out and asked if i could fill any positions pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we felt we didn’t want to interact with other guys we would go on couples and single ladies nights

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights.

Maybe they haven’t got a couples only night at their local club or maybe that’s the only night they are free. "

They have couples only nights but for some reason, allow certain single men in. Don't know how many.

I go on the general members night

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i have always said that sometimes single men can be their own worst enemy...... and sometimes common sense seems to go out of the window....

just simply things... saying hello! just chatting to people

its the little things that go to making a huge difference.....

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If couples didn't want to mix with single guys they would go to couples only nights.

Maybe they haven’t got a couples only night at their local club or maybe that’s the only night they are free.

They have couples only nights but for some reason, allow certain single men in. Don't know how many.

I go on the general members night"

We've never been to a couples only night at any club where single guys were there.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"i have always said that sometimes single men can be their own worst enemy...... and sometimes common sense seems to go out of the window....

just simply things... saying hello! just chatting to people

its the little things that go to making a huge difference....."

It's not rocket science. All the single guys we've played with in clubs, we just met at the bar. They were socialnrypes who werw just happy to chat. After some time chating, we invited them to play, and the rest is fun history

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i have always said that sometimes single men can be their own worst enemy...... and sometimes common sense seems to go out of the window....

just simply things... saying hello! just chatting to people

its the little things that go to making a huge difference....."

Well yes, i had thought of that lol, i try but get the cold shoulder so being polite i don't push it. Unspoken signals like Reading Body language and demeanour goes a long way too. Cant just barge in you know

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

They have couples only nights but for some reason, allow certain single men in. Don't know how many.

I go on the general members night"

they aren't couples only, they are nights primarily aimed at couples but do allow some singles (both men AND women) to go

i am one of those guys who goes on those night.... i found the those night to be more socialable, the pace isn't as hectic or as rushed...

what i find is that a lot more couples are prepared to play with singles if given the time to know people and the space where their space isn't going to be invaded by a mass bunch of people....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to void single male nights purely due to bad manners from some single men. The zombie walking, wearing t-shirts (!), talking at open doors (go to the bar area!), invading space without permission and walking around in their towels; to name a few.

If we visit Pandora’s it’s not so bad as they have more rooms with doors that shut: if they are annoying me. On NYE at another club, they let too many men in and we found ourselves surrounded by 10 men: we left the room quickly.

There is a place for everyone in clubs and the different nights reflect this. In terms of choosing men to join us, this would be done at the bar not because you’ve followed me down the corridor and stood wanking at the door. Definitely chat and become a familiar face; I think more success is built that way.

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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Well said Riversong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So do you, as a couple, just sit back and wait for guys to approach you?"
no not at all we talk to them if we see them looking lost or lonely it doesn't mean we want to shag em though and most get this

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

Oh yep, i chat n get on with the other lads that go. I also enjoy tha facolities (jacuzzi and sauna), as in life, some people are more easier going than others on a social level, some are not.

Eye contact by them is avoided so again i get the message.

Ive been going a while now and usually talk to the men and use the facilities (except thr jacuzzi alone as i can't fookin swim

)

Join in as in stopped them playing and asked to join? Or join in with general conversation?

Yes please tell

Lol i was standing with my cock out and asked if i could fill any positions pmsl

It was a serious question. Is that your serious answer or a piss take?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/01/18 18:42:56]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They have couples only nights but for some reason, allow certain single men in. Don't know how many.

I go on the general members night

they aren't couples only, they are nights primarily aimed at couples but do allow some singles (both men AND women) to go

i am one of those guys who goes on those night.... i found the those night to be more socialable, the pace isn't as hectic or as rushed...

what i find is that a lot more couples are prepared to play with singles if given the time to know people and the space where their space isn't going to be invaded by a mass bunch of people...."

Yea i understand that. This also makes me self conscious when chatting/breaking the ice. If they are not interested i drop it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They have couples only nights but for some reason, allow certain single men in. Don't know how many.

I go on the general members night

they aren't couples only, they are nights primarily aimed at couples but do allow some singles (both men AND women) to go

i am one of those guys who goes on those night.... i found the those night to be more socialable, the pace isn't as hectic or as rushed...

what i find is that a lot more couples are prepared to play with singles if given the time to know people and the space where their space isn't going to be invaded by a mass bunch of people....

Yea i understand that. This also makes me self conscious when chatting/breaking the ice. If they are not interested i drop it"

In chatting that is..

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"We tend to void single male nights purely due to bad manners from some single men. The zombie walking, wearing t-shirts (!), talking at open doors (go to the bar area!), invading space without permission and walking around in their towels; to name a few.

You really have to avoid the type who wear t shirts. They're scoundrels!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You really have to avoid the type who wear t shirts. They're scoundrels! "

Ive seen those guys floating around and try not to behave like that.. BUT tarred with the same brush i think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

You'll never work clubs out. We've been when it's packed with couples that hardly, if at all, swapped. Then we've had quite a few swaps on a quiet night.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

So do you, as a couple, just sit back and wait for guys to approach you? no not at all we talk to them if we see them looking lost or lonely it doesn't mean we want to shag em though and most get this "

Not every guy on his own in a club, is desperate for sex, friendly company probably, and I’m glad you’re the kind of people who would at least engage with a new face by himself, in the crowd

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By *voncouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Cap D'agde have places such as Glamour and the Sauna where there are couples only areas separate from areas where couples can mix with single males. This allows couples who don't feel comfortable in the sometimes more pushy environment where single males can 'lurk' to relax with other couples. We have found that we usually start off in the couples area but then can graduate to the mixed area to widen our horizons. I appreciate that this layout is not always possible in smaller locations but it can work very well

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By *lub Rouge ManchesterCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Fewer and fewer clubs have couples only nights ..., the old addage of. Use it or loose it applies. End of the day it had to be financially viable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy who has yet to pluck up the courage to go to a club, this thread has taught me some important lessons on etiquette. Seems that the best tactic is to show respect - just like out in the big wide world

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By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

Sadly the UK is lacking in classy club's like those that can be found elsewhere in Europe and around the world. As one of the posts mentions, the club's here then rely on income from single guys. Whilst there are genuine guys who make an effort and understand what swinging is there are so many who simply don't. Generally Saturday night is couples only but when people's lives mean they only get one night a month free then they might go on a Friday but with no intention of meeting single guys. The better club's probably have the ratio right. Club's could police a little more robustly though and ban guys who misbehave and make it more difficult for the good guys.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Sadly the UK is lacking in classy club's like those that can be found elsewhere in Europe and around the world. As one of the posts mentions, the club's here then rely on income from single guys. Whilst there are genuine guys who make an effort and understand what swinging is there are so many who simply don't. Generally Saturday night is couples only but when people's lives mean they only get one night a month free then they might go on a Friday but with no intention of meeting single guys. The better club's probably have the ratio right. Club's could police a little more robustly though and ban guys who misbehave and make it more difficult for the good guys."

Would this be a good time to suggest a ‘SMFC’ (Single Man’s Fan Club) event? The ever-popular BMFC nights work well it seems, and couples/single females are looking specifically for single black guys there. Could this cross over to any single guy for one evening per month?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"As a single guy who has yet to pluck up the courage to go to a club, this thread has taught me some important lessons on etiquette. Seems that the best tactic is to show respect - just like out in the big wide world

It does take courage mate, to go in by yourself, but it’s worth the effort, if only to satisfy your curiosity. You may be pleasantly surprised, you may be hugely disappointed, but you won’t know until you go. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldnt imagine going to a swingers club alone.

No offence to anyone who does!

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By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall

We are more than happy to chat to friendly, single men in clubs. We never promise anything, but a chat is always welcome. Especially as we are still relatively inexperienced on the scene.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

[Removed by poster at 07/01/18 11:29:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i go to clubs alone

and i dont have an issue any single speaking to me or couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

We tend to act like a mirror to anyone we meet in a club, if they are fun and respectful, that’s what we are back, if not....

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

........... but that still relies on people actually talking to people.... so if men are awaiting couples to approach them... and couples are waiting on men to approach them, then nothing well ever change.....

for example.... just people someone will like black men, it doesn't means that people will like me!

you still have to "pipe up" and open your mouths and find out....

so until single guys stop just lurking and patrolling, a lot of things are not going to change....

sometimes people have to help themselves "help themselves"... and if that means taking yourself out of your comfort zone and being proactive and talking to people with no m.o, then you find out that the risk is worth the reward....

for too many single guys, they judge there night to be a good one or a bad one on whether they play or not.... that attitude has to change as well!

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

I’ve done a mix of going to clubs as a couple, as a 3 (that was good) and on my own.

I’d recommend to any guy to go to a club and experience it. And be ready to go home empty handed, so to speak.

As a couple I saw repeated awful behaviour of single guys. And also saw lots of good examples of good behaviour.

It’s basic, go and chat to people. Be decent and respectful. Enjoy the experience in itself. If anything naughty happens it’s great. Others that are there go for a massive range of reasons.

Talk to the club staff. Get to know people. Be social. It works.

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By *lackbird1000Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Is that just normal anywhere you go, even at work or the local pub, just because you are in a swingers club it does not mean that you must mix with everyone"
I must to disagree with you there normal? You don't need to mix with everyone certainly but is a lot of cliche in certain clubs !I go to the clubs as a couple and by myself . The swingers club you have a purpose to be there,hopefully mix and have fun , is not like a pub for a drink ,chat and go home .Actually in the pubs sometimes people are much friendlier ! But yet a lots of the times feels like a pub people around the pub chatting among themselves ,that it! I go and speak with people and singles guys ! Because being first time in a club is hard , be left by yourself is not nice ! If I see a couple alone I go and say hi , not because I want to play with them , but because I can see they are alone and there to socialize . Does not cost nothing to be welcoming and nice. I speak with people in bus stop , not because I want to pull!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for example.... just people someone will like black men, it doesn't means that people will like me!

you still have to "pipe up" and open your mouths and find out....

so until single guys stop just lurking and patrolling, a lot of things are not going to change....

for too many single guys, they judge there night to be a good one or a bad one on whether they play or not.... that attitude has to change as well!"

Very true a good night is not all about weather or not you get laid . Enjoy the company and banter , flirting etc and if anything happens see it as a bonus . If you expect a fuck everytime you go you may as well spend your 40 or 50 quid in a brothal it's not what it's all about

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

All good advice. I wish the guys I see would follow it.

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

for example.... just people someone will like black men, it doesn't means that people will like me!

you still have to "pipe up" and open your mouths and find out....

so until single guys stop just lurking and patrolling, a lot of things are not going to change....

for too many single guys, they judge there night to be a good one or a bad one on whether they play or not.... that attitude has to change as well!"

‘People actually talking to people’ is exactly right Fabio. And if I do decide to return to Club F a second time, at least I will be more familiar with the surroundings, and more likely to step outside my ‘comfort zone’ to talk to others inside

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"All good advice. I wish the guys I see would follow it.

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club. "

does "fat and ugly" count for personalities as well..... because they ones they display may be brilliant and attractive, whereas the one you just showed in your post to be honest really isn't!!!

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

Sorry I didn’t mean to offend anyone.

I agree with the point about personality. Lots of fit guys with very poor attitudes are worse.

A recent visit to when I was in a couple a very handsome guy thought he had an entitlement to be involved. He kept touching other women when he just wasn’t welcome. Didn’t take no. He should have been thrown out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club. "

Fat and ugly people so u say are able to pay membership and go to a club too and i bet they have a better personality than you are showing on here right now

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By *elightzCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We've met plenty of larger and not so good looking people to put it in better words in clubs and find 95% of them have great personalitys. That makes all the difference to us rather than the shape, size, or model looks. You can get some really good looking people who absolutely love themselves with zero personality just like yourself. And without a good personality we wouldn't look twice at a Mr i love myself like your profile trys to tell people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club.

Fat and ugly people so u say are able to pay membership and go to a club too and i bet they have a better personality than you are showing on here right now

What a ridiculous comment nice respectful people come in all shapes and sizes, your best mate is your mirror by the sounds of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club.

Fat and ugly people so u say are able to pay membership and go to a club too and i bet they have a better personality than you are showing on here right now

What a ridiculous comment nice respectful people come in all shapes and sizes, your best mate is your mirror by the sounds of it"

thats what i meant

the person posted that i replied to him

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

Without risking any more angry responses, I’ll say my comment was totally wrong.

Second time in 2 days I’ve pissed people off. I’m not doing well.

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"All good advice. I wish the guys I see would follow it.

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club. "

Wow!! Please tell me you’re trolling there? That is a very ugly attitude if not & one I would like to have at any of my events!!

Tom Hardy could exude ugliness if he had your attitude, so no - I doubt you would add to the sexiness in any club, if that’s how you think.

It’s personality that attracts me more than looks. Equally, what you may think of as ‘fat & ugly’ will be someone else’s ‘perfection’

What creates a good, sexy atmosphere in a club is happy, confident, friendly people who are there to have fun & enjoy their night. Not entitled people who think that they are better than others.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We go to clubs to meet single guys mainly. Approach and be friendly, lurking is a bit off-putting. Go with a good attitude and you’ll maybe not get somewhere sexually immediately but get used to it and , in time, I’m sure you’ll do well. We use Chams daytimes and always some nice guys in there. As an example though, there was a good looking guy watching while we played with another guy, he moved closer and went to sit down where my towel was, I politely said be careful my locker key is under it and you don’t want a piece of metal up your arse(!) and got scowled at. No banter, not a word. Good luck anyway OP, we were scared first time visiting clubs and feeel at home in them now.

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

Not trolling just being a dick.

As I said it was a totally wrong thing to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not trolling just being a dick.

As I said it was a totally wrong thing to say. "

yeah

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Not trolling just being a dick.

As I said it was a totally wrong thing to say. "

Yes, it was ... but to say it, you obviously think it. You even had time to think about it while you were typing it & still said it anyway!!

There are plenty of ladies out there who think of themselves as big, but are actually smaller than the average UK dress size - but in their mind, they are ‘plus size’ because the media says so & because people feel the need to throw around ridiculous comments about fat people at clubs.

Body image is a sensitive subject the world over. People die from it. People suffer with self esteem & self loathing because of it. Other people think it’s ok to ‘fat shame’ people.

People’s self image is their own business. If someone is comfortable with their body enough to go to a swingers club & dress down, regardless of size & shape then good for them. If more people had that self confidence, less people would suffer.

Arrogance is the ugliest trait of all.

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By *eothelionMan
over a year ago

chester

Without digging myself in further I’ll try and explain.

My problem is not thinking before I speak. A recurring issue.

As I said the worse thing I’ve seen is the arrogance from guy/girls who think there’re more attractive than everyone else. You’ll probably paint me with the same brush.

And second problem is that my own confidence can be arrogance at it was here.

As I said it was a totally wrong comment.

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Is that just normal anywhere you go, even at work or the local pub, just because you are in a swingers club it does not mean that you must mix with everyone I must to disagree with you there normal? You don't need to mix with everyone certainly but is a lot of cliche in certain clubs !I go to the clubs as a couple and by myself . The swingers club you have a purpose to be there,hopefully mix and have fun , is not like a pub for a drink ,chat and go home .Actually in the pubs sometimes people are much friendlier ! But yet a lots of the times feels like a pub people around the pub chatting among themselves ,that it! I go and speak with people and singles guys ! Because being first time in a club is hard , be left by yourself is not nice ! If I see a couple alone I go and say hi , not because I want to play with them , but because I can see they are alone and there to socialize . Does not cost nothing to be welcoming and nice. I speak with people in bus stop , not because I want to pull! "

I agree and if more people had that attitude clubs will be easier to visit.Ive been lucky that through making an effort I have made good friends and have chatted to single guys and couples who I don’t intend to have fun with but because of that I’ve had messages from some of them introducing me to ladies and couples who they feel fit my criteria and Ive also done the same in return if more people can just make a little effort everyone can create there own nice memories.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Hear here! Never again do I wish to be ‘Billy no mates’, so I’ll be making more of an effort, and hopefully some of the regulars will too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You really have to avoid the type who wear t shirts. They're scoundrels! "

I don’t mind a scoundrel, as long as they’re t-shirt free

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Hear here! Never again do I wish to be ‘Billy no mates’, so I’ll be making more of an effort, and hopefully some of the regulars will too

I love chatting with new people at the club, whether it’s singles or couples ... it’s fab watching that look of terror fade & seeing them start to settle in! It’s also good to meet new people, because ultimately that’s the point of all this!!

I’ll be holding you to a chat if you’re at Townhouse!!

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Hear here! Never again do I wish to be ‘Billy no mates’, so I’ll be making more of an effort, and hopefully some of the regulars will too

I’ll be holding you to a chat if you’re at Townhouse!!

"
Must admit I was there for Raw and did find there was a really friendly vibe I would definitely visit more often but it’s a long way to travel but what a friendly place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we prefer more single guys in a club as that's what we mainly go for over the years we done a few clubs and its always been pushy couples that have put us off never singles

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

I notice more women become friends or clubs for some reason.But another example I can give is a few years back back where I attended a club in Leeds it was unusually quiet I mean dead so a few us got chatting and decided to go into Leeds and attempt to bring some women back to the club.Id love to say it was a happy ending but unfortunately I can’t.but the acquisition attempt was hilarious and a couple of us are still mates to this day Ironically the club owner phoned one of the guys to say 2 greedy girls had arrived but we stayed put as we were too shitfaced to care.Im afraid it’s lost in translation a little but another great memory

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Hear here! Never again do I wish to be ‘Billy no mates’, so I’ll be making more of an effort, and hopefully some of the regulars will too

I’ll be holding you to a chat if you’re at Townhouse!!

It will be my pleasure Morty!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve done a mix of going to clubs as a couple, as a 3 (that was good) and on my own.

I’d recommend to any guy to go to a club and experience it. And be ready to go home empty handed, so to speak.

As a couple I saw repeated awful behaviour of single guys. And also saw lots of good examples of good behaviour.

It’s basic, go and chat to people. Be decent and respectful. Enjoy the experience in itself. If anything naughty happens it’s great. Others that are there go for a massive range of reasons.

Talk to the club staff. Get to know people. Be social. It works.

As a single guy i get this. I've met some great people, personality and good crack. Some stay as friends, others I've played with too.

Ive been back, onky to find they aren't there 5hat night and put myself w out just to chat, on some occasions with luke warm results. Everyone knows what i mean and experienced it themselves, even _abio i bet.

For those people i get the message and don't bother them again. Some couples stay in their groups and crystal clear they aren't interested by gong out of their way by avoiding eye contact, rendering me 'invisible'. Possibly I'm being tarred with the same brush.. fine, it's a free country, they ain't interested so i leave em alone.

I then use the facilities (jacuzzi n sauna} and

Later, when they are playing, i don't watch those that snubbed me but just watch the others from a distance.. As i just want to watch discreetly then leave em to it.

What pisses me of are other guys barging in, touching without asking etc, taljing loud : "is he fucking her yet" , "look at her fat arse" etc.. I think "cheers mate, I'll get tarred with that fuckin brush now!

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

"I’ve done a mix of going to clubs as a couple, as a 3 (that was good) and on my own.

I’d recommend to any guy to go to a club and experience it. And be ready to go home empty handed, so to speak.

As a couple I saw repeated awful behaviour of single guys. And also saw lots of good examples of good behaviour.

It’s basic, go and chat to people. Be decent and respectful. Enjoy the experience in itself. If anything naughty happens it’s great. Others that are there go for a massive range of reasons.

Talk to the club staff. Get to know people. Be social. It works.

As a single guy i get this. I've met some great people, personality and good crack. Some stay as friends, others I've played with too.

I then use the facilities (jacuzzi n sauna} and

Later, when they are playing, i don't watch those that snubbed me but just watch the others from a distance.. As i just want to watch discreetly then leave em to it.

Do you challenge that behaviour? Stay silent or join in? Maybe if more people spoke out that it is not appropriate and disrespectful to those playing the culture may change.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think clubs have it exactly right, we don't really ever go with the intention of playing with single guys and are usually part of the 'clique' that you describe. That is how we like to swing and we every right to do so. If we go on a night where singles guys are allowed in we know what to expect, and I think there is an element of buyer beware on those nights (i.e. be prepared to be swamped by single guys). I think clubs could do a lot more in terms of educating single guys about etiquette, and more importantly the more effective ways of getting to play, because standing in corridor wanking isn't the most effective tactic. (I.e. wank zombies, unwanted touching, entering couples only areas and my personal favorite of banging on a locked private in the hope we will let you join in)

It must be really tough for a single guy in a club and there are some who just aren't the right personality type to succeed."

One of the reasons I haven’t been to a club recently is that too many single guys do exactly as you describe! This ruins it for single guys like me who are always respectful and never pushy!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I’ve only encountered bad etiquette three times, once L was particularly to blame, the second was L was strapped to a cross and she said something she shouldn’t so I stopped play as a lesson and took a step back, someone looked upon this as a sign to play, that was stopped before it started.

The third time, L was spaced and I was concentrating on her needs, I didn’t realise some dick behind my back was touching her leg, when L came down and told me, well it wasn’t pleasant discussion after that.

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By *niper oneMan
over a year ago

DERBY/Notts border

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

"
Bottom line is clubs have to let single guys in for revenue.With out mate they cant afford to operate.So single men are needed.And to be honest most women in clubs you wouldnt look at twice if your in town on a saturday night.So single guys will always be wanted.And if the club is not membership only by law they cannot charge men and women different entry price.

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Bottom line is clubs have to let single guys in for revenue.With out mate they cant afford to operate.So single men are needed.And to be honest most women in clubs you wouldnt look at twice if your in town on a saturday night.So single guys will always be wanted.And if the club is not membership only by law they cannot charge men and women different entry price."

This again!! The women bashing on here is getting v v boring. I wonder why some mem are on the scene if they think the site and clubs are full of munters. Why not go on fabguys instead? And they wonder why women leave here

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

"
exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Considering most of the 'bashing' on here is against single men, it's about time the worm turned.

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Considering most of the 'bashing' on here is against single men, it's about time the worm turned. "

Yeh that's why I don't meet single men off here. Fed up with the crap that people who are supposedly here for fun come out with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be really tough for a single guy in a club and there are some who just aren't the right personality type to succeed."

I absolutely agree that someone should be educating people about how the clubs work. Not just men, everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have the clubs in general got the balance or idea right in letting single men in?

Yes, i know were not entitled to expect sex etc and so forth, what I'm asking is, have the clubs got it right for couples, by letting single men in?

Ive akso noticed a cligue within certain couples thst know each other, stick with the same groups and don't mix with couples from other groups.

Considering most of the 'bashing' on here is against single men, it's about time the worm turned.

Yeh that's why I don't meet single men off here. Fed up with the crap that people who are supposedly here for fun come out with."

Good point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful."

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to a Social in Leeds and it was like single guys were frowned on but...I am a sociable guy so met people and got invited to Quest..wasn't bad but was an experience. May try club F one day especially now they have BMFC coming

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!. "

He interrupted a private conversation. We were discussibg her recent marriage break up in a corner of the club, eating our tea when he plonked himself between us. No introduction. What part of that is acceptable. He was fucking lucky to only be told do one!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

Did you report him 5o staff?

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

Did you report him 5o staff? "

Yes. I have been going to clubs for years. He got thrown out for inappropriately touching a female.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

This 'them and us talk', generated by a small minority is just complete and utter rubbish.

As a couple we go to clubs, often without a pre-arranged meet. Sometimes we will play with someone we meet there, sometimes not. That might be because we don't fancy anyone there and other times its because no-one fancies us.

*Anyone* who goes to a club has to put in some effort to play, also has to have the right attitude and also someone else there who's a good match. That's quite a combination to come together for play to happen.

But, the things in that list - attitude and effort- if you don't bring those, you're going to be going home disappointed, regardless.

So anyone getting in a strop, making out they are hard done by, we are all in the same boat. Put on the big boy pants, put on a happy face, go and chat, mingle, make people be hapy to be around you and amazing things can happen.

Have fun xx

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

Did you report him 5o staff? "

Which part of my post did I pre-judge all single guys? Did you read my post or just jump at the part where I told him to do one?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This 'them and us talk', generated by a small minority is just complete and utter rubbish.

But, the things in that list - attitude and effort- if you don't bring those, you're going to be going home disappointed, regardless.

Have fun xx"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

Did you report him 5o staff?

Which part of my post did I pre-judge all single guys? Did you read my post or just jump at the part where I told him to do one? "

I did read your post. was generalising...

Some may pre- judge, some may be on edge to respond to unwelcome advances.

Don't you dare pick a fight with me riversong!! Cos I'm a bloody good runner and will run away quick sharp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All good advice. I wish the guys I see would follow it.

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club. "

Yes they can be a put off especially if they linger in doorways and we're conscious that we too have a bit of Christmas dinner to shift

Funny how some come to rescue of fatties by attacking your personality for mentioning a preference/put off. Our advice is not to apologise but either ignore them or tell them to shut up.

The worst guy is the wandering wanker, they never fit in and just wander about fiddling their cock.

Remember that people are not daft and they will sense the body language of fit guys strutting as though, "Hey, look at me, I'm more attractive than the fatties". Those strutters then up wondering why they just had to wank themselves off at the end of the night with zero meets.

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By *iversong321Woman
over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

So guys would you do this in a regular pub? Just intrude on a conversation? Social skills and reading the scene is a massive part of being successful.

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!.

Did you report him 5o staff?

Which part of my post did I pre-judge all single guys? Did you read my post or just jump at the part where I told him to do one?

I did read your post. was generalising...

Some may pre- judge, some may be on edge to respond to unwelcome advances.

Don't you dare pick a fight with me riversong!! Cos I'm a bloody good runner and will run away quick sharp

I have already booby (he he) trapped your escape route mwahahaha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good point here. Couples and single women on edge and pre-judging.. waiting to tell the single guys to "do one"!. "

You didn't think that reply through OP.

If you think any pre-judging was involved there, avoid clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went with a friend introduced the single lady to a place for the first time and she was the only single lady and basically it was rather anoying tbh all these blokes talking SHIT trying the damdest lol and a bit cringey in that ocassion to see there desperation lol

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"All good advice. I wish the guys I see would follow it.

How do people feel about ugly / fat guys in clubs?

As a couple they’d put us off big time. I class myself as fairly decent so I think I add to the overall sexiness of a club.

Yes they can be a put off especially if they linger in doorways and we're conscious that we too have a bit of Christmas dinner to shift

Funny how some come to rescue of fatties by attacking your personality for mentioning a preference/put off. Our advice is not to apologise but either ignore them or tell them to shut up.

The worst guy is the wandering wanker, they never fit in and just wander about fiddling their cock.

"wandering wanker" brilliant phrase, had me really laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couples do want nice, fun, respectful guys who can chat and understand how play works.

Any guy who gets all that will have a blast at a club.

Absolutely true.

Spend time and chat with us, get to know us, be respectful, Gets you everywhere...

Last time we were at Chams no guy got to join in, too much touching without consent no respecting of boundary. I had to remove myself to create distance, if it wasn't his hand it was his foot rubbing my leg lol. Some need to understand no means no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's got an oak kitchen table though!

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Couples do want nice, fun, respectful guys who can chat and understand how play works.

Any guy who gets all that will have a blast at a club.

Absolutely true.

Spend time and chat with us, get to know us, be respectful, Gets you everywhere...

The reason I no longer go to Chams! I don't feel safe and can't relax. I much prefer smaller club's where everyone has the rules explained on their introductory tour and staff and regulars stop any issues immediately.

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