FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys in clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had my first club visit last night, found it less daunting than I anticipated and it was nice to chat to a few people. However I couldn’t help but notice the expectation many singles seemed to have. Anyhow I now have a much better understanding of the reason why being a single male in a club is portrayed in such a way.

Has anyone else struggled with approachig people for a chat without appearing to fit the stereotype? i ended up at the bar most of the night and sauna just chatting here and there.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Yes mate, I’ve been to two clubs in the North West, as a single male, and I also found it a challenge to be friendly, without seeming ‘expecting to play’. The biggest thing I found was the look of ‘oh God, another single guy’ in peoples eyes, even to the point of couples turning their heads to avoid eye contact, and thereby avoiding any kind of chat. Not the friendliest of experiences I’ve ever had, but I put it down mostly to the people who were in at the time I was. I am going to another club very soon though, and will report back honestly afterward

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By *milersiMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

That’s exactly why I have put off going tbh, I can go sit at the bar in my local and chat to more people. I’d have thought the single blokes making the effort to visit clubs, socialise etc would be seen differently than how single men in here do.

I’ve been invited to go as a couple once or twice now buy ladies I’ve met on here, I think that maybe a better option until you get to know more people in the club etc the venture out as a single to some of the events they hold.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

It’s also at least an hour’s drive in any direction for me to reach any of the nearest clubs, which is a long time to be in a car by yourself, trying not to talk yourself out of going. Much easier for guys local to a club, to just think ‘I’ll pop round for an hour, see who’s in’

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We always chat to the single guys who approach us in club. As we know it's very daunting for them when they are new. To be honest my wife prefers if they come say hi to us as a couple before they try chatting to her alone. I agree there are some couples who take an instant dislike as I've had it done while wife as been either getting changed or in toilet when I have tried to make conversation where they thought I were single and have got sorry mate couples only. Once we have met and chatted a while I always make sure the guys get a chance to chat alone with me or wife. That's when wife normally let's me know if she is up for fun with them either letting them watch touch or join in full play, we do exactly same for single fems,when we find them.once we have got to know them a few times at club they know then they can approach solo or together if in mood for fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That’s exactly why I have put off going tbh, I can go sit at the bar in my local and chat to more people. I’d have thought the single blokes making the effort to visit clubs, socialise etc would be seen differently than how single men in here do.

I wouldn’t be put off going. It’s full of people who have the confidence to walk around partially dressed. All totally content with themselves regardless of body size and such which is brill, it’s only the balance of engaging without appearing push or expectant. I guess that comes in time though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad to read some honest comments above. I read more and more single guys experience was like mine.

I had two bad experiences two years ago in north west when i first joined fab.... followed advice given by many on here about best way to start. In hind sight i should have read the red flags as the advice was mainly by ladies and couples so problem little understanding of what its like from a single guys perspective and not by single guys.

Anyways it put me off completely and definitely no interest to go as a single guy. It felt cold, more like I was a toy or commodity.

I just wish others would see this is how many single guys have experienced clubs and instead of telling us the one they go to isn't like that, consider that actually from a single guys perspective it may be and do something to change that experience rather than tell us we got it wrong or we are at fault which is how most ladies and couple respond to posts like this.

Maybe then we'll see more positive posts about clubs by first timers and nit just the experienced club visitors. I'm sure some will have had positive first experience and it be good to here theirs too.

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

I know several single guys who do really well on Fab and in clubs. They aren't hung like donkeys or look like an Adonis. They are just regular guys. But they are each to talk to and make me laugh and good company.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well."

agreed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well."

Yes I agree with that, for me it’s being conscientious of being chatty but not being misconstrued you know? Anyhow I just had a few games of pool and got to know a couple of people. It went quite well, better than expected but looking to the next visit I’d like to enhance my experience and be a little more social and chat to more people. Especially as next time is likely to be busier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no issues talking to singles and couples at a club as could be the start of something great.

We all would like this and that to happen the reality

go with no expectations and if anything happens its a bonus

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By *lanaganCouple
over a year ago

altrincham

me and my other half go to tghe clubs ,i know its hard for single guys as some dont want to talk ,they just go for sex and not a lot of women want that ,i have had many asking me to just go to a room and i think it spoiles it for other single guys to want to associate with others first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"me and my other half go to tghe clubs ,i know its hard for single guys as some dont want to talk ,they just go for sex and not a lot of women want that ,i have had many asking me to just go to a room and i think it spoiles it for other single guys to want to associate with others first

some people might like that, some might not

i people watch alot in clubs and single men i do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be hard to strike up a conversation, in the past I have been upfront and said something like "Hi there, would you be open to a bit of a chat?"

The key for me has been to engage with the couple, not just the woman, and talk about anything not necessarily sex. Though even the "are you regulars to this club?" question does work

Also chat to other single blokes, show you can have a laugh & hold a conversation without looking like Norman No-mates.

If the club has a hot tub, as you enter say a general hello to all those already in, a simple "evening! How is everyone?" can kick off a conversation without targeting anyone in particular. You could do this when approaching the bar too, but often works well in hot tub as there is another reason you are joining those people (to use the hot tub) so approaching them is not considered blatant. Also works well in steam room and saunas.

The thing to remember is that, the more you go the more people you will meet and be able to chat with easily.

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By *olentguy1956Man
over a year ago

Fareham

I must admit I have found clubs one of the best places to meet people. At least at a club you can see the person as opposed to on fab where they could be anybody. I have actually met quite a few people who are now friends on fab, Who probably would not have replied if I had sent a message on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are two type of clubs, first swing clubs for all, fun days or nights. Daunting for guys but advice should be talk to guy too not just the girl. Jacuzzis great too, don't just follow like a herd, some want numbers some don't. Then there the sex club where club lays on hostesses to look after all the clients. Sex guaranteed there, swing clubs not, lol Used to work at a sex club and go swing clubs, how to mix work and play lol

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By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley

As a very average looking guy who's had a lot of great nights over the last three years of clubbing, I can thoroughly recommend it. Yes, it's not always easy to start a conversation and I've had a few dull evenings along the way but by and large, just being chatty and funny is 99% of the battle. I'd recommend avoiding larger clubs and "nightclub" style clubs, ie ones playing loud dance music as these make it harder to strike up a conversation.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

My next (and 3rd time) visit is quite soon, and only because I am in that area for work. So I’m going to spend the evening there, rather than talking shop with colleagues in an hotel bar, hence I will have even less expectations, and merely there to wile away a couple of hours. Will let you know how I get on

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"We always chat to the single guys who approach us in club. As we know it's very daunting for them when they are new. To be honest my wife prefers if they come say hi to us as a couple before they try chatting to her alone. I agree there are some couples who take an instant dislike as I've had it done while wife as been either getting changed or in toilet when I have tried to make conversation where they thought I were single and have got sorry mate couples only. Once we have met and chatted a while I always make sure the guys get a chance to chat alone with me or wife. That's when wife normally let's me know if she is up for fun with them either letting them watch touch or join in full play, we do exactly same for single fems,when we find them.once we have got to know them a few times at club they know then they can approach solo or together if in mood for fun "

Couple of things here. Firstly a guy talking to a woman and ignoring her partner is the height of rudeness!

Secondly. The person who said to you sorry mate couples only. I assume from your post you would have been attempting polite conversation. For them to come out with a reply like that seems a bit abrupt. Did you see them subsequently whilst with your wife? Did they attempt to engage with you? If so how did you react? If not how do you think you would have reacted? Personally I would have found it very difficuilt to give them any of my time. I appreciate they might have been acting in a way that shuts down single guys approaching but a bit of polite chat would have cost nothing.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We prefer it when there are singles in the mix to be honest.

You do get the odd guy who hangs around like a bad smell but we find most have a chat and a laugh.

It’s breaking the ice that they seem to find daunting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

its not the clubs its how some singles behave

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

its not the clubs its how some singles behave "

I’ve seen couples behaving worse than singles ! Rowing over jealousy and the like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well."

I went to chat....had no intention of playing as I wouldn't play with someone I didn't know in a club setting ... That may have been one of the issues as most id tried to engage with certainly were there to play. I'm straight too and i think that put a few couple off immediately.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"
... it gives you the chance to! the rest is on you...

I'll talk to anyone in a club, it think that people do see the difference between chatting as part of some m.o, or chatting just for the sake of chatting..... if you cand the latter... and all good and bad chats all start with "hello".... then you'll go far!

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

Do the guys that find no one to talk to at clubs try talking to the other single guys or just hit on the couples?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Do the guys that find no one to talk to at clubs try talking to the other single guys or just hit on the couples? "

i find that guys then to do a few different no no things...

1) they will talk to other single guys, but won't talk to couples ... when i ask "why?" they say... i dunno!!

2) they make the newbie mistake of either talking to the woman whilst acting like the guy doesn't exist!.... or talking to the guy and treating the woman as an "add on" like you need his permission to talk to her!

i just find it all weird....

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Do the guys that find no one to talk to at clubs try talking to the other single guys or just hit on the couples? "

Yep, both my previous club visits I found the other single guys more approachable and chatty. Obviously the staff would talk, as they were doing all they could to encourage me to return

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made lots of friend's when I went to a club by myself, and now the boss comes with me, we talk to single males if they are respectful.

There are some that are there just for the sex, pay their entry and expect it on tap! Best avoid them sort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always chat to polite single blokes at clubs as we are invariably there with a mind to finding one to join us for fun lol

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Form my point of view

I am not hung like a donkey

Nor am I Chris Hemsworth

However I am willing to laugh at myself and with others , be kinky and flirtatious, also I try to smile. Also if you do go for a wander, don’t go walking like the penguin but walk tall and slowly and be polite

I have been lucky that I have played with some people the night I had first met in the club, other people I haven’t played with yet but are on my play list, some have been repeats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny.

I am not a swinger.

I guess I am a guest on your websight...

I get involved with the bdsm people/events. I like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly I don't understand it...

I feel bad using your websight in a way...

Sorry...

The BDSM parties and events are quite good because I enjoy the fantasy/creative side and it's not about sex...

^^^^I think (being no expert on swinging)

....I think alot of these "single guys" might not even enjoy group sex situations...

^^^they might be desprate...

I guess there will be people who genuinely love this....while (like bdsm)....others are uncomfortable with it and just using the situation to get laid.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

If someone told me to fuck off I would report them straight away. First off all no need

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By *ig daddy 1969Man
over a year ago

manchester

Would love to try a club but not on my own

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

If someone told me to fuck off I would report them straight away. First off all no need

So would I but yes unfortunately it does happen

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

Single guys in clubs not only have the mammoth task of striking up a convo but they also have to break down the guards that others have put up, because of the many other single guys before them that have behaved less than gentlemenly in the past.

We have a fair amount of good and bad experiences with single guys at clubs.

We are always happy to chat if approached, afterall we are there to socialise aswell as possibly play, if we meet the right people.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Single guys in clubs not only have the mammoth task of striking up a convo but they also have to break down the guards that others have put up, because of the many other single guys before them that have behaved less than gentlemenly in the past.

We have a fair amount of good and bad experiences with single guys at clubs.

We are always happy to chat if approached, afterall we are there to socialise aswell as possibly play, if we meet the right people.

I’ll certainly be on my best behaviour at my next club visit, but I’m also going in as a single guy ‘mystery shopper’ lol

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By *oredShitlessxxxCouple
over a year ago

luton

We have a fair amount of good and bad experiences with single guys at clubs.

We are always happy to chat if approached, afterall we are there to socialise aswell as possibly play, if we meet the right people.

I’ll certainly be on my best behaviour at my next club visit, but I’m also going in as a single guy ‘mystery shopper’ lol

No expectations apart from socialising and meeting new people, is always a good approach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a fair amount of good and bad experiences with single guys at clubs.

We are always happy to chat if approached, afterall we are there to socialise aswell as possibly play, if we meet the right people.

Glad to see a couple acknowledge the difficulies without put ting the all too common blame on all single guys. The barriers,and walls you speak certainly made my two experiences intolerable to the point its not a place id like to go back to alone. So much easier for guys to go to an M&G to meet and mix.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

We have a fair amount of good and bad experiences with single guys at clubs.

We are always happy to chat if approached, afterall we are there to socialise aswell as possibly play, if we meet the right people.

I’ll certainly be on my best behaviour at my next club visit, but I’m also going in as a single guy ‘mystery shopper’ lol

No expectations apart from socialising and meeting new people, is always a good approach!

After my two previous experiences, I really have no expectations at all lol! Tbh; I’m only going because I’m in the area with work, and it HAS to be better than sitting in an hotel bar for the evening, surely?

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Off to Jaydees tonight .. here’s hoping some hot single guys are there

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Off to Jaydees tonight .. here’s hoping some hot single guys are there

I’m sure you will have your admirers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always approach guys to chat to, even if it goes no further.

It's couples I find difficult to talk to, sometimes. I get the feeling that the lady feels threatened by me.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Off to Jaydees tonight .. here’s hoping some hot single guys are there

I’m sure you will have your admirers

Fingers crossed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of banter good craic nice eyes politeness honesty can get you a long way suppose im irish to like lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find most single guys are very polite at clubs but some are pushy i walked on my own round a club and 4 guys touch my bum with out permission

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

If people aren't interested in meeting single men or talking to them then they can always go on a night when they're not allowed. So if they go when single men are allowed they should expect they may be approached and also have the ability to converse politely and if they're not interested in taking it further then let them know.

I understand some people don't want to sit and chat to waste someone's time, if they know they're not interested, but I don't see why people feel the need to be rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never been to a club. As a single woman I’ve never worked up the courage. If I did though I’d probably be more interested in the single men than couples in terms of progressing beyond just socialising. But I think I might have a little worry that if I was really friendly (I’m naturally pretty chatty, and if nervous would be blethering away), that a guy would take that as a green light. I guess that’s my issue to communicate clearly though. But interested in what people’s views are of single women etiquette. I see a lot of convo about single men but not single women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always chat to single guys, infact we have on alot of occasions invited them over to sit and chat with us especially if they look lost or nervous.

I think sometimes there are guys who have no intention of mixing and/or socialising and they usually stand out as being that way but the majority just feel uncomfortable making the first move of fear of being accused of having a motive.

We treat people how we'd like to be treat within the scene or not

Manners cost nothing and there is no harm In chatting

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

"I’ve never been to a club. As a single woman I’ve never worked up the courage. If I did though I’d probably be more interested in the single men than couples in terms of progressing beyond just socialising. But I think I might have a little worry that if I was really friendly (I’m naturally pretty chatty, and if nervous would be blethering away), that a guy would take that as a green light. I guess that’s my issue to communicate clearly though. But interested in what people’s views are of single women etiquette. I see a lot of convo about single men but not single women. "

Start a thread

The way some single women behave can be absolutely shocking, can do stuff a man would be thrown out for or complained about.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"If people aren't interested in meeting single men or talking to them then they can always go on a night when they're not allowed. So if they go when single men are allowed they should expect they may be approached and also have the ability to converse politely and if they're not interested in taking it further then let them know.

I understand some people don't want to sit and chat to waste someone's time, if they know they're not interested, but I don't see why people feel the need to be rude. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start a thread

The way some single women behave can be absolutely shocking, can do stuff a man would be thrown out for or complained about."

That’s no surprise really. There are always a few knobheads in any situation regardless of gender. I don’t think I’d dare start a thread lol. For someone naturally confident in ‘real life’ I’m weirdly shy on here. I find the forums a bit intimidating.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Start a thread

The way some single women behave can be absolutely shocking, can do stuff a man would be thrown out for or complained about.

The forums are probably more friendly than people in clubs lol! Say what you like, I do!

People either ignore you, or comment on what you’ve said, it’s then your choice whether you reciprocate! Don’t be shy, have fun

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By *ancduoCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We have been to a few clubs. Each is different. Some you find most people stick to their usual crowds. Others are friendlier. But it’s the ones who talk to others that get more respect and, fingers crossed, invites to play.

As most clubs have a higher number of guys over girls, the girls or couples can afford to be choosy. And most are very choosy. I personally was always open to anyone and hubby will confirm that lol. I always felt sorry for the guys wandering around hoping for some fun and would chat and play with them. But I noticed they never approached us and talked to us. We always went to them.

As the OP said, he talked to people. And would have had more respect than the wandering wankers (and i do mean actually wanking).

Just talk. Be friendly. You’d be more likely to be invited to Play than dive in groping or stood quietly wanking. First impressions do count.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds quite daunting to be a single guy in a club.

I really want to go to Liberty's soon, but I don't want to be unwelcome.

I guess just chatting to anyone you can is the key.

Is there really single guys walking around wanking? Wow ??

Have any of you single guys been to Liberty's on a night when we're allowed to?

P.S I know my profile is terrible. I'll be sorting it out soon and adding some public photos.

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

"It sounds quite daunting to be a single guy in a club.

I really want to go to Liberty's soon, but I don't want to be unwelcome.

I guess just chatting to anyone you can is the key.

Is there really single guys walking around wanking? Wow ??

Have any of you single guys been to Liberty's on a night when we're allowed to?

P.S I know my profile is terrible. I'll be sorting it out soon and adding some public photos. "

Libs hold an event where it's a guest list and I don't think you have to be a member. Just keep an eye out in the forums for it, I can't remember what it's called. But from what I hear it's a good night for all newbies.

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I hear you bro, I had that same problem. And the funniest is a 50/50 couple, when the lady is clearly attracted to you but the man doesn't seem to approve lol last time I was at Chams it happened. The lady and I did end up connecting though while her hussy had his fun elsewhere lol a good thing is to invite ladies/couples there as well. Some you've been speaking with, you never know. And most likely if you requested an invite in the forum and there are admirers they'll let you know .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"We have been to a few clubs. Each is different. Some you find most people stick to their usual crowds. Others are friendlier. But it’s the ones who talk to others that get more respect and, fingers crossed, invites to play.

As the OP said, he talked to people. And would have had more respect than the wandering wankers (and i do mean actually wanking).

Just talk. Be friendly. You’d be more likely to be invited to Play than dive in groping or stood quietly wanking. First impressions do count. "

Having people turn their heads when I looked in their direction, or walked over to where they were sitting, was a big enough indication they weren’t interested in chatting or anything else. As for wandering around wanking, neither club I visited gave me any stirring in my loins, both experiences more of a passion killer lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the OP said, he talked to people. And would have had more respect than the wandering wankers (and i do mean actually wanking).

Just talk. Be friendly. You’d be more likely to be invited to Play than dive in groping or stood quietly wanking. First impressions do count.

some are like that i get that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club "

the wife works in a local swingers club so were in every week and they are great places for singles to have fun but you need to do your homework as some clubs will offer better opportunities to play due to the nature of the club. For a first visit to a swing venue talk to the club before you go and ask for the best nights to attend as some nights or themed events are aimed at singles and don't go thinking couples get it easy in clubs as they also need to make an effort. We've seen many couples sitting on there own as they find it just as hard to interact in that enviroment and as said earlier go with the intention of just having a good night out with no expectations

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club "

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We only ever go to clubs on evenings when single guys are allowed entry. Most are polite, friendly and good fun. Those that aren't are easily turned down, as are couples that are rude or too pushy.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club "

see... this kinda post actually annoys me, because what in effect you are doing is letting other people dictate your life with there opinions!

every night is different, you make of it what you make of it.....

if you are sociable and comfortable talking to anyone, and go with no expectations you will be absolutely fine in a club..... just chat with no m.o and chat to get to know people, a lot of guys think everything they say has to be with a purpose!

if you are not a happy chatty person, then yes... big social occasions may not be for you... but they wouldn't be for you generally!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I get told I am not assertive enough, I am learning to compliment people better, and also if your in a club area and you talking to someone give it 10 or 15 mins and ask them do you fancy going for a wander to see what is going on.

They might say no might say yes

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

I dispute that statement. Plus us couples don't have it easy either. You get out of fab and clubs what you are prepared to put in. You need to be open and approachable and talk and mingle. This goes for both couples, single guys and ladies.

I agree with a statement earlier about single ladies touching without asking and being rude. But unfortunately some club won't act on their bad behaviour. However some will as I have seen groups of single ladies asked to leave a club because of their behaviour.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

I dispute that statement.

Which statement do you dispute?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

WRONG

many clubs like single men in, like single ladies and couples.

Long as they are respectful and use manners and follow etiquette and the rules

personally if im speaking to someone and they are polite, i fancy them and they fancy me game on

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

Well I don't go to either of those nights, I just go on an ordinary night where men are allowed. I see plenty men on these nights having a good time, but I don't check the review section after I've been to see if they've made note of it.

I don't go on bi nights, couples nights etc because they're not nights I'm interested in. So people who go when single men are allowed is normally due to them wanting to meet men, yes there's normally 1 or 2 who don't, but it was their choice to go that night.

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By *il_MissBMFCWoman
over a year ago

Various Venues Across The UK

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club "

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

thought u was in the corner eating haribos and playing cards :P x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills.... "

one way to get social skills

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By *il_MissBMFCWoman
over a year ago

Various Venues Across The UK

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

WRONG

many clubs like single men in, like single ladies and couples.

Long as they are respectful and use manners and follow etiquette and the rules

personally if im speaking to someone and they are polite, i fancy them and they fancy me game on

TOTALLY agree with this!

Sexual fun is never guaranteed at ANY club or ANYONE, but you've got an increased chance if you follow all of the above!

Mutual respect, mutual attraction & mutual consent

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By *il_MissBMFCWoman
over a year ago

Various Venues Across The UK

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

one way to get social skills

Wonder what that is?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills.... "

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

one way to get social skills

Wonder what that is?

get off the computer and get out and try to mingle and not go to a club ans shove ya cock in someones face

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By *il_MissBMFCWoman
over a year ago

Various Venues Across The UK

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

Not sure why you have taken this so personally as I wasn't replying to you

but while we are here...

Yes, I did read your post about your experience, but that's all it was, YOUR experience (or 2 experiences). It doesn't mean to say everyone's experience will be the same?

In that post, in summary from what I read, was that you didn't make an effort to talk to anybody as you weren't getting the right vibes from them? How did you know they weren't interested just because they didn't look your way? Or just because they didn't talk to you when you stood near them?... If you spoke with them, they may have been interested? People aren't always interested in someone by their looks alone. No matter how beautiful someone may be... They may have been shy? It may have been their first time? They may have thought you were too good for them if they have low self esteem? Just a few examples from my experience of running parties... You also may be correct and they may very well have not been interested...

I do understand though, that conversation is a two way street so they could have talked to you too if they were interested. But I still don't understand how you KNOW someone isn't interested if you don't actually have a convo?

The BASIC is- if you have social skills, you have a chance of having a good night.

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By *il_MissBMFCWoman
over a year ago

Various Venues Across The UK

Also, not aimed at just men either... A smile goes a long way, some people have resting bitch faces. I have a resting bitch face and look like I'm pissed off if I'm not smiling!!

So... Bear that in mind when you're sat expecting someone to come and talk to you. They won't talk to you if you look like you're bored, pissed off or don't wanna be there.. Even if within yourself you are fine

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Also, not aimed at just men either... A smile goes a long way, some people have resting bitch faces. I have a resting bitch face and look like I'm pissed off if I'm not smiling!!

Haha, you’re not the only one. At times I just look extremely pissed off but if I notice someone looking over I’ve always got a smile to break that perception.

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

I dispute that statement.

Which statement do you dispute?

The club reviews list gives the best summary I reckon; single guys are most welcome in clubs for BMFC and Greedy Girl events. You rarely see a review from a single guy on an ‘ordinary’ night

There are plenty of club veris from single guys experiences on an "ordinary" night. You really shouldn't base your experience of clubs on just 2 visits. It might be the club you choose or the night didn't have the right mix of people.

I have been to clubs both as a couple and a single lady and had crap nights.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

Not sure why you have taken this so personally as I wasn't replying to you

but while we are here...

Yes, I did read your post about your experience, but that's all it was, YOUR experience (or 2 experiences). It doesn't mean to say everyone's experience will be the same?

The BASIC is- if you have social skills, you have a chance of having a good night. "

All good points, taken onboard

It was two different clubs for me, on two different occasions. I have two more visits planned in the near future, to two other clubs, and will update honestly on each occasion.

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Out of interest which 2 clubs are you planning on visiting?

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By *he fab twoCouple
over a year ago

brentwood

"The single guys who are polite and chat and go with no expectations do really well.

It's the guys that go expecting sex and aren't

prepared to chat with both members of a couple don't do well."

Well put!!

We’d talk to a single guy no problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I attended a club. I just starting chatting to people. Ended up spending most of my time there with a woman I met. A few times d*unk guys came up to us trying to start a conversation. I can see how it would be annoying if you were part of a couple.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Out of interest which 2 clubs are you planning on visiting?"

Does it matter lol? They’re all fun, friendly, fabulous places, right?

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

"Out of interest which 2 clubs are you planning on visiting?

Does it matter lol? They’re all fun, friendly, fabulous places, right?

Are you sure you go with an open mind and not with the vision you seem to be portraying here? You come across rather negative on this post, so if that shows in person then it can be rather off putting.

I go to a club twice to decide whether I like it or not. There's only been one club that I won't go back to, not because of the people, but because it's not the style of club I like.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I have been in a club and have had a face like a slapped ass, because I had a bad week and hardly anyone spoke to me

Go in with a smile and often you will go out with a smile as well

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By *unniebee1970Woman
over a year ago

The Hive

I only visit clubs on the "single guy" nite. If its a "good" nite I get to play with a sexy single guy and then maybe later in the evening a fabulous couple. Variety being the spice of life.

Having single guys in a club just seems to heighten the atmosphere to me.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Out of interest which 2 clubs are you planning on visiting?

Does it matter lol? They’re all fun, friendly, fabulous places, right?

I go to a club twice to decide whether I like it or not. There's only been one club that I won't go back to, not because of the people, but because it's not the style of club I like. "

Because I’ve been to two other clubs beforehand, I’ll be visiting without any of my previous nerves, so shouldn’t have that ‘rabbit in the headlights’ expression of a total newbie, but I won’t be going with the air of an ‘entertain me’ audience at an open mike comedy club either. Just a couple of drinks, no expectations, and see what happens on the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the odd occasion we've visited Infusion in Blackpool, we go on the couples and females night, Saturday.

The reason being, when we first went, the majority of guys were creeping about fiddling with themselves and spying through the playroom windows fiddling faster. Apparently, their nickname is, "Wandering wankers".

The Mrs wants to go with her friend for greedy girls on a Thursday but it's probably her friend won't go.

Guys should chat,mingle and generally don't come across that they need a shag. That's the type of guy we expected at the start but never met.

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By *adysilkCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm (mrs k) home visiting family I visit often go to a club I've been going to for years and I will talk to literally anyone who is near by and will involve everyone who is near in conversation so might start off a few ppl talking to one another who might not have spoke and when asked i will always state I'm only interested in playing with couples but find that at some point in the evening even with them hearing me say that quiet a few guys will still ask me to go to a room and play or try to get me to hook up with a couple and get them involved...then act put out as if ive wasted their time by engaging in conversation and last time I went actually kept myself to myself and chatted to a few couples but didn't enjoy my over all night half as much so sometimes it's hard to know as a female how to act towards single men too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been to a local bi and gay sauna and met a few guys most of which go for sex not conversation

It’s all anonymous and it’s not a place to look for a date it’s just men having sex then leaving some just like to watch and some like to put on a show others like to get involved

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By *dgeofheaven71Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth and Blackpool

My partner and I spent Friday night and Saturday afternoon in Infusion’s Blackpool both times a few single guys had the pleasure to cum on my partners tits over the pool table but what totally spoilt the whole thing was the sheer rudeness of guys asking her name but not even having the decency of even talking to me!! How bloody rude, are they embarrassed or just plain ignorant to talk to the man??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

Your social skills are not fine. They're terrible. That much is obvious from the incessant posts about how terrible the club experience is for you. Your ability to engage with other people is lacking and its reflected in your vibe and body language...hence peoples cold shoulder.

People who attend clubs are not just big meanies who are singling you out and not rewarding you with sex. I was at an even last week and saw plenty of guys getting action...they were cool, engaging and exchanging in the banter...surprise, surprise people wanted to have sex with them. You seem to be after a pity fuck and, even more amusing, you still want to claim u have good social skills. You're only letting yourself down.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

I'm glad single men come! But then I can be a bit greedy at times x

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By *dgeofheaven71Man
over a year ago

Portsmouth and Blackpool

My partner and I don’t mind the single guys at all, she loves it when I take charge of the situation it’s just the lack of communication/ gratitude afterwards this one time which has really put us off going again on non couples nights

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

Not once in my 'incessant posts' have I mentioned anything about people not wanting to have sex with me. The point I have been trying to make is about not feeling welcome in a club, as a single guy, and how, when I tried to engage with others there, I was given the cold shoulder. I'm sorry if you misconstrued this.

Could we be clear about the 'event' you attended recently, where single guys were receiving 'plenty of action'? Was this a BMFC event, where people go specifically to meet, black men? And were the guys all black men?

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I only visit clubs on the "single guy" nite. If its a "good" nite I get to play with a sexy single guy and then maybe later in the evening a fabulous couple. Variety being the spice of life.

Having single guys in a club just seems to heighten the atmosphere to me. "

We tend to prefer mixed nights with singles and couples to couples only nights. We accept that it can be daunting for singles to meet, but we do try to be open and say hi, even going over to say hello to some singles.

As others have said, just say hello and have a chat, don’t monopolise people for hours in conversation - at least for us, the idea of going to a Swingers Club is broadly to have an erotic time and probably have sex, even if it is just the 2 of us! We are both quite choosy, but what works is a smile & a bit of banter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

Id agree with this

I go to clubs by myself and ive been to some and you try strike up a nice polite and none sexual conversaton, the woman or couple look you up and down then just turn away as if your something unsightly, just for daring to try and strike up a conversation with them.

But by contrast ive been to other clubs and even just a different event at the same club and hit it off with couples and singles alike.

Pro tip if you go to a club, learn who the assholes are and the events where you will be amongst people like yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

LOL nope. That the amusing thing. The last event I attended was by a well known host of BBC parties. But I saw at least half a dozen white and asian guys there...even a group of younger guys. They were cool though, relaxed and involved in the pleasantries. They were playing too. No, not everyone who attends BMFC events is black.

My point still stands. It tends to be children who think that if they repeat the same thing long enough, they'll eventually be given what they want. You're not some uniquely bullied participant. If everyone u find is giving you the cold shoulder then the problem might be you. You can either address it and start enjoying or keep the self pitying routine and keep the blue balls.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I really don’t see why clubs have such a dislike to single guys

I’m all the time I’ve been swinging I could count on one hand with ‘nuisance’ guys. The majority are lovely. It’s a brave thing to go to a swinging club solo

Maybe it’s because I’m always nice to them even if I’m not interested .. I make it clear that there’s no play but exchange pleasantries

I think sometimes the people that have problems with them are perhaps less forthcoming in politeness to them. I have seen guys approach people before and been told to fuck off !! How nice is that ?

Treat others how you want to be treated and there’s never any issues

Id agree with this

But by contrast ive been to other clubs and even just a different event at the same club and hit it off with couples and singles alike.

Pro tip if you go to a club, learn who the assholes are and the events where you will be amongst people like yourself

Thanks Matt

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"well after reading all the comments, i think i made the right choice for not going to any clubs till now , it sounds like it is not really a good experience to be a single guy in a club

It's only 'not a good experience' if you don't have any social skills....

You may have missed my earlier post where I talked about people turning their heads when I looked or walked in their direction. My social skills are fine, feel free to message anyone who has met me

I’m not totally done with the club scene, and I will take onboard your friendly and helpful advice. If our paths ever do cross one evening, I’ll be sure to say hello

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By *dores blackmenWoman
over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

I do appreciate the fact some guys find it hard going to clubs when you hear so many horror stories

The trouble is your hear/see the moaning,and don't see alot of the positives

I for one would never go to a couples/single ladies night,I like meeting single men

For newer single guys I always say come with no expectations,Be polite,respectful,flirty and chat to people,no means no,socials or event nights are usually really good fun,I run an event myself and newbies always get a little talk about good etiquette when I show them around

Give a club a chance one night could be so different to another

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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago

Over the roundabout and then turn right.

A few times now we have been approached by single guys in clubs. A few were an instant "no thanks" with their attitude. There are also those who know the deal and are very approachable. In fact, once or twice I hoped that Coffee would have some fun with them, but I guess she is just not ready to play with singles. Yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s how it should be O/p i’ve Seen it from both sides as part of a couple and now single guy. You have these single guys dressing down and bascially wandering around playrooms not even chatting to any couples or females. They usually get called the Wank Squad. Nice to see your enjoyed your first time at club. Great places to socialise and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There can be some really nice single guys in clubs who may be nervous nothing wrong with the couple maybe engaging a bit more x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This puts me off a bit, lots of couples say go to clubs to build verifications as they don't meet without. But once there I think the sheer number of single guys would make it hard to get chatting as you say people look scared in case the single guy comes to try and join in, what's therefore difference between here or in person?

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

Some clubs limit the amount of single men attending so it’s ususlly ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's good, I'd like to try one but don't want to end up feeling like a lemon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's good, I'd like to try one but don't want to end up feeling like a lemon"
Go with a plus 1 x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's good, I'd like to try one but don't want to end up feeling like a lemonGo with a plus 1 x"

Why.

I go alone at times.

Why do men need a plus 1

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By *ister-mischiefMan
over a year ago

Trafford

"That's good, I'd like to try one but don't want to end up feeling like a lemonGo with a plus 1 x

Why.

I go alone at times.

Why do men need a plus 1"

No idea either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/17 19:48:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would be nice to get shown the etiquette on the first visit. After that no reason I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's good, I'd like to try one but don't want to end up feeling like a lemonGo with a plus 1 x

Why.

I go alone at times.

Why do men need a plus 1"
Definitely don’t need a plus one end of day it’s only like been in a pub and chatting to women. You be friendly and chat to women and couples in bar area then you might get invited to play. Makes me laugh why men can’t go on there own

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Just assume you are there to have a nice evening, smile, make eye contact, make sure you talk to people before the lady has a cock in her mouth! I like to get to know people before I give anything else up, so don’t make the first approach when I’m busy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do the club's work for single guys in the day? Or only evenings?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey dont jump on me for suggesting a plus 1 its just nice on your first time to have a bit of moral support

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Blimey dont jump on me for suggesting a plus 1 its just nice on your first time to have a bit of moral support "

Appreciate the support

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