FabSwingers.com forum: Attending a club if you're a cheat

By *lliottinrochester OP Man
over a year ago

Rochester

I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're playing with fire goimg to a local club, impossible to talk your way out of if you are spotted. Swingers are normal people, some will talk others won't, dictated in the main by their relationhip with you, your partner and how much they enjoy drama

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By *lub Rouge ManchesterCouple
over a year ago

manchester

I'd say 80% of single people that are on here are married or in a relationship .....but then who's to judge.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your best bet would be to go out of your area.

You can't guarantee you won't be seen but it makes it more unlikely.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

If I knew they were cheats I wouldn't play with them, simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I knew they were cheats I wouldn't play with them, simple."

But its virtually impossible to know.

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

That smooth bit of skin and lack of tan where the ring would be is a give away, like other people said you're quite likely to see someone you know. Would you want to hurt your other half?

I knew a lady who went to a club with someone else's hubby and she broke her foot there, oddly in same room I broke my ankle! She was meant to be in wales on a hen do. Very lucky that one of staff drove her car back for her and I had to pretend to be on the hen do with her. A fb I no longer see saw loads of people from work there's too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, no swingers code on this. I'd imagine it would depend very much on the individual. Thing is there's no innocent excuse for being spotted in a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no etiquette as such but at the end of the day you're both in a swingers club ~ I suppose it may come down to if the other people having anything to lose by grassing the married person up.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Personally as someone that goes to clubs I’d keep out of it - there’s been lots of examples of the messenger not only being shot but getting a lot of long term grief out of it - safest bet is if you don’t play with attached people and you spot one just avoid them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most the guys we meet in swingers clubs are married.

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By *ollipop77Couple
over a year ago

Sunny Manchester

Not my circus, not my monkeys! Not for me to get involved but I am sure the guy cheating would instantly feel guilty and probably do a runner x

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By *lliottinrochester OP Man
over a year ago

Rochester

Thanks for the responses. I will have to go somewhere far afield, if I want to try a club

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By *s_bettyboopWoman
over a year ago

-3

"Your best bet would be to go out of your area.

You can't guarantee you won't be seen but it makes it more unlikely."

Thing is everyone is thinking the same thing, go far and no one will see me and they see someone they know. I've seen this happen in a club!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

If someone spots you who knows you, what's to say you're not checking the place out for a visit with your wife another time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

If someone spots you who knows you, what's to say you're not checking the place out for a visit with your wife another time?

That's not a bad plan as long as his cock isn't where it shouldn't be....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we were at a club and saw a close friend's or family members other half there then I'd possibly say something to the one who wasn't there, however it was someone less known then I definitely wouldn't get involved. Either way we certainly wouldn't play with them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, most cheats get caught out eventually, one way or the other.

You are more likely to be seen by someone you know if you do it locally. Go to a club the other end of the country and you're less likely to bump into someone that knows you.

Don't rely on others to keep secrets from your wife.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We went over an hour's drive to an organised social and met a guy whose wife wasn't aware he was on here who lived in the next street. It's a very small world.

We would never say anything

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

"We went over an hour's drive to an organised social and met a guy whose wife wasn't aware he was on here who lived in the next street. It's a very small world.

We would never say anything"

It sure is a small world. Not swinging related but I was in the dominican republic and bumped into an old teacher and a schoolmates brother (seperately). Also been in scotland and ended up speaking to a guy that lived just up the road from me. The schoolmates brother also popped up in my local feed on here with his wife, as did my mates ex business partner and my ex`s niece. Also a lady from Scotland I met from a dating site was in chat on cam with her new boyfriend and I think one of my old mates has just seen my profile.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

If someone spots you who knows you, what's to say you're not checking the place out for a visit with your wife another time?

That's not a bad plan as long as his cock isn't where it shouldn't be....

Well if he has as much luck as I have in swing clubs, that won't be an issue lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

If someone spots you who knows you, what's to say you're not checking the place out for a visit with your wife another time?

That's not a bad plan as long as his cock isn't where it shouldn't be....

Well if he has as much luck as I have in swing clubs, that won't be an issue lol

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"That smooth bit of skin and lack of tan where the ring would be is a give away, like other people said you're quite likely to see someone you know. Would you want to hurt your other half?"

Not always... Some married guys never wear a ring and not only are they happy cheating on their wife they cheat on their mistress too. Pathological liars are never happy with what they have got. Quite sad really.

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By *obin_and_marionMan
over a year ago

Beaconsfield

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

Personally I think it would be bad form to out a married guy.

People's choices are there own.... if you don't want to engage or play with them then fine, that's your choice... but their life is their life.

What right do you have to make choices about their life ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there is a kind of etiquette that u wouldnt go telling everyone if u saw someone u know in a swinger club but also never know who might be there for instance u could bump in to a member of ur wife's family then ur busted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your best bet would be to go out of your area.

You can't guarantee you won't be seen but it makes it more unlikely."

I would disagree to a point everyone has this thought so they go out of area to a club so your more likely to see someone you know away from home. As the club close to you would probably be full of people from miles away. We see more we know at clubs ferther away from us then we do with ones on our doorstep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no etiquette as such but at the end of the day you're both in a swingers club ~ I suppose it may come down to if the other people having anything to lose by grassing the married person up."

I’m sure most clubs have a bit about being discreet and if you see someone you know not to say anything out side the club in the rules and disclaimer you sign when you join. The ones we’ve join have anyway.

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By *ldhillhotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Old Hill

We have played at a club with a guy who we later found out was married to one of S's ex-colleagues.

We didn't tear ourselves apart over it. We weren't to know and what they do as a couple or individuals is none of our business.

As for 'rules' we always assumed what happens in the lifestyle/club should stay there.

Would imagine that a lot of single guys in clubs are married or attached in some way? Wouldn't judge or try and filter them out (we are all there for a single purpose).

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"If I knew they were cheats I wouldn't play with them, simple.

But its virtually impossible to know."
agreed, but if I knew I wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

Personally I think it would be bad form to out a married guy.

People's choices are there own.... if you don't want to engage or play with them then fine, that's your choice... but their life is their life.

What right do you have to make choices about their life ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We went over an hour's drive to an organised social and met a guy whose wife wasn't aware he was on here who lived in the next street. It's a very small world.

We would never say anything"

We wouldn't say anything either.

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By *he fab twoCouple
over a year ago

brentwood

"Your best bet would be to go out of your area.

You can't guarantee you won't be seen but it makes it more unlikely."

That is all well and good but if both party's think the same you could still end up st same club lol

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By *he fab twoCouple
over a year ago

brentwood

Best not to say anything and leave people's private life's just that!

For all you know they may play apart with each other's knowledge or she may know and be happy for him to play alone, every is different all you will do is cause embarrassment either way and if he is doing it behind her back he will get found out sooner or later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't go local is the first thing.

I have a club 300 yards from my house but would never step foot in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no etiquette as such but at the end of the day you're both in a swingers club ~ I suppose it may come down to if the other people having anything to lose by grassing the married person up.

How exactly would they enforce that?

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

There is nothing wrong with married men going to clubs. Out him to whom, and why?? Better things to do there than being a moral vigilante me thinks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no code of silence, it would depend on your relationship with the person who spots you. And in turn their willingness to say they were in the club.

If the person who recognises you is your wife, it could be a good result

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

you do realise that married women can cheat too not just men.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There's no etiquette as such but at the end of the day you're both in a swingers club ~ I suppose it may come down to if the other people having anything to lose by grassing the married person up.

How exactly would they enforce that?"

About as well as people would enforce the Sydney University disclaimer I reckon. Besides some people take much delight in tittle tattle.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

you do realise that married women can cheat too not just men."

Say it isn't so!

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By *typical guyMan
over a year ago

wigan

"I've never attended a club but would like to. What's the etiquette if someone spots a married man they know at a club? Would you out the guy?

Is there a Swingers code, like the pirate code lol?

There is nothing wrong with married men going to clubs. Out him to whom, and why?? Better things to do there than being a moral vigilante me thinks.

Plenty wrong with them cheating, doesn't matter if it's in a club or anywhere else. It is nothing to do with strangers but I think the op is asking about being recognised by someone he knows. For example, say you saw your sisters husband in a singers club on his own and without his wedding ring on, would you still consider it none of your business?

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By *lliottinrochester OP Man
over a year ago

Rochester

Just to clarify, I wouldn't remove my wedding ring

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

At the end of the day very few people want to out themselves as swingers. So in the unlikely event you meet someone you know at a club it's even more unlikely they will tell your wife they saw you at a swingers club as that would necessarily out them as well.

Of course there's a risk this could happen, but it's tiny and probably less risky than most things married men who play away do.

I would say don't be paranoid and go to a local club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In nearly 15 years of going to swingers clubs, I can say that I have never once bumped into anyone from my normal day to day life in a club.

I'm genuinely single so it wouldn't really matter too much if I did but it has never been an issue although I guess with most clubs being around an hours drive from home, none of my "local" clubs are exactly on my doorstep.

I think a lot of people are unnecessarily paranoid about going to swingers clubs for very minor reasons.

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By *eepSatisfactionMan
over a year ago

milton keynes

Haha hundred percent

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