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Advice to single males

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had this at a club we were playing yes in a open room we had a single guy with use playing and a second single guy just walked up to "me" and put his cock straight in her face, we found this very wrong and we got off the bed and walked off was a shame for the single guy we were playing with put "me" playing completely so we went in the social area and sat and had a drink and the guy that had just walked up and put his cock in sat opposite looking at us and when we moved he followed us and we just left the club. It's a shame a few singles ruin it for the good ones but some think cause they have paid to enter a club it's a given right they get to play. Me was tempted to bite his cock but felt we would have being in the wrong so didn't. Maybe she should of to learn a lesson.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to say this is a norm in many cases. You'll always find that there are respectful guys in any club. However quite often there are more bellends then respectful guys.

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester


"Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights "
Did you tell management? or Leave a review for the club then to help improve current circumstances? Don't tar all single males with the same brush. If you were looking for single men as well why didn't you approach them? Quite intimidating approaching a couple wanting to play from a single guy perspective it takes a lot of confidence. Especially these clubs where you don't know who is receptive to single guys. They will just go to main play area's and hope for an invite. The system is flawed in a lot of places unfortunately.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

You know that if you tell them there n then, that their behaviour is off putting then they normally respect that and move back or stop following. If you say nothing then how will they know that you have no interest.

You need to remember that for many of them, once they get a erection all rational thought goes out the window

But if you are too shy to let the guys know they are too close, have a word with the staff. It is in the clubs interest to make all their customers feel welcome and comfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights "

I think you already have the solution just go to couples only events there are plenty of them around

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if you are adult enough to be in a club, then surely you would be adult enough to can "can you all back off please".... tell them once... if they pay no attention than tell management...

club staff are normally brilliant.... but the one thing they aren't are mindreaders... so unless you say something they wont know......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this before while attending one of our favourite clubs. Certain single guys invading our personal space while wanking away, quite a mood killer. Had to tell one individual 3 times that we weren't interested before he seemed to get the message, kinda put us off going to clubs Friday nights, despite the fact that we often enjoy being joined by another guy. We tend to stick to Saturdays now though, which while is a much more relaxed atmosphere, removes the option of guys joining us.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single bloke and have to say I'm greatful when invited to go as a couple on a couples night; no chance of those kind of interruptions, I always go for private rooms now or couples only room.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if you are adult enough to be in a club, then surely you would be adult enough to can "can you all back off please".... tell them once... if they pay no attention than tell management...

club staff are normally brilliant.... but the one thing they aren't are mindreaders... so unless you say something they wont know......

"

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

If I was the club reading this, I'd be quite cross.

People MUST tell staff when this happens and tell them in a way that says, 'this has ruined our night, this needs sorting as it's possibly ruining others peoples night and if we don't see you take action, we will not be returning.

Starting a thread on Fab will not work I'm afraid. A lot of single guys won't read this as this stuff is said over and over on Fab. The only way it stops is if you forcefully tell staff on the night and if guys see that wanky, annoying men get kicked out for that sort of behaviour, then they will stop.

Action speaks louder than words and believe me, if a group of guys see a wankyman turfed out, they soon behave. They don't want to lose there money and be sent home with a throbbing cock and only their hand to sort it out!

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

Unforunatly your word wont be heeded. As those type of single men get more desparate as the night goes on. Their brains drain of blood and hence oxygen to maintain the erection. So they are only thinking with the head at the end of their shaft not the one on the end of their necks. So zombie action happens. It give us other single guys a BAD REP. But what more can you expect from The Wanking Dead.

Although I have on many occasions seen this strategy work better than "chatting up couples" and asking to play/join in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the total opposite problem, I worry about being considered a nuisance so end up stood on my own in the corner like Billy no mates all night

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By *op gooserMan
over a year ago

chester


"if you are adult enough to be in a club, then surely you would be adult enough to can "can you all back off please".... tell them once... if they pay no attention than tell management...

club staff are normally brilliant.... but the one thing they aren't are mindreaders... so unless you say something they wont know......

"
You would think so but there seems to be an epidemic of cowards in swinging who would rather knife someone in the back then say anything to their face. I don't know whether it is the type of guys that do it.

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

A few years ago I went to a club in Tampa Florida. In this club single males were only allowed in the play area's if invited by a couple/female, then when that couple/female left they had to too.

It worked well and could be a good idea for British clubs.

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By *ave_NorthwestMan
over a year ago

Wrexham


"If I was the club reading this, I'd be quite cross.

People MUST tell staff when this happens and tell them in a way that says, 'this has ruined our night, this needs sorting as it's possibly ruining others peoples night and if we don't see you take action, we will not be returning.

Starting a thread on Fab will not work I'm afraid. A lot of single guys won't read this as this stuff is said over and over on Fab. The only way it stops is if you forcefully tell staff on the night and if guys see that wanky, annoying men get kicked out for that sort of behaviour, then they will stop.

Action speaks louder than words and believe me, if a group of guys see a wankyman turfed out, they soon behave. They don't want to lose there money and be sent home with a throbbing cock and only their hand to sort it out! "

I can vouch for this...... a problem guy was removed from TH last night immediately the staff became aware of the situation....

Its a shame more people don't immediately raise issues as a 'ruined night' for a couple will ruin many nights for genuine guys who enjoy swinging and would have liked to join in with a couple's fun.

As a single guy it is often difficult to work out what a couple you haven't met and chatted to previously are looking for, but lets face it if you can't even have a friendly conversation with a couple/single female and spark some interest you are unlikely to be fun in a room whether its private or not.

Maybe the OP couple could look for a couples night where select single males are admitted..... like the Townhouse.... Saturday nights they only allow 8 single guys who must be members!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"A few years ago I went to a club in Tampa Florida. In this club single males were only allowed in the play area's if invited by a couple/female, then when that couple/female left they had to too.

It worked well and could be a good idea for British clubs."

no thanks... i don't fancy being treated like a leaper if i have done nothing wrong and i am being respectful.....

its not just a single guy problem, it a people problem as i have seen couples and single women being arses in clubs as i have men.....

people need to speak up... and just needs to be voiced that "being a tit" isn't going to help anyones night out.....

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

OP I sincerely hope you mentioned your 'problems' to the club staff so that:

1. They are aware of the issue in the first place

2. They can deal with any complaint accordingly

3. They can stop the problem happening again

If you don't report issues, how on earth do you expect it to be dealt with?

Maybe the club hasn't vetted the single guys very well, maybe a rogue fuckwit got through, maybe you found yourself on a slack night at the club....there's an awful lot of maybes and guesswork!

As a club host I make it VERY clear to single guys that if they are causing trouble they are OUT, and I also make sure that EVERYONE knows they can come and approach any member of staff with any issues.

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

If a leery man just stuck his cock in a wife's face without being invited why wouldn't the husband just smack him in the mouth there and then? Maybe couples attending Clubs on nights when single men are welcomed have a higher proportion of cuckold or sissy husbands than couples attending Clubs on couples only nights?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If a leery man just stuck his cock in a wife's face without being invited why wouldn't the husband just smack him in the mouth there and then? Maybe couples attending Clubs on nights when single men are welcomed have a higher proportion of cuckold or sissy husbands than couples attending Clubs on couples only nights? "

He did know until I tapped him and moved, if I tap him he knows I'm not happy with something and it's the same if he taps me. We both stop till we are happy to carry on.

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By *esmond and Molly JonesCouple
over a year ago

Watford


"If a leery man just stuck his cock in a wife's face without being invited why wouldn't the husband just smack him in the mouth there and then? Maybe couples attending Clubs on nights when single men are welcomed have a higher proportion of cuckold or sissy husbands than couples attending Clubs on couples only nights? "
Er cos it's illegal and you'd get arrested.

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By *orksCouple25Couple
over a year ago

Leeds


"If a leery man just stuck his cock in a wife's face without being invited why wouldn't the husband just smack him in the mouth there and then? Maybe couples attending Clubs on nights when single men are welcomed have a higher proportion of cuckold or sissy husbands than couples attending Clubs on couples only nights? Er cos it's illegal and you'd get arrested. "
.

Do you mean the husband would get arrested for assault after the leery guy got arrested for sexual assault ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Few people saying about reporting to staff. So just want to point out that we did tell them what happened and that we didn't like it at all and that we were going to leave (there was only one young man on bar and then a young woman in reception) and he didn't bat an eyelid or seem shocked like it was just the norm. We just wanted to get out as quickly as possible after that. We will be messaging them also about this so hopefully we can be heard and the problems can be resolved so other couples don't have the same experience

Didn't really want to bad mouth the club cos we thought their rooms and facilities etc were great. Just a couples night would be more suited to us.

...And wasn't talking about every single male because I'm sure there are guys that are respectful but unfortunately on this night there wasn't any and it has put us off which is a shame

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire

[Removed by poster at 25/03/17 21:58:39]

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By *aturewomanloverMan
over a year ago

staffs/cheshire


"Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights "

im not reading all that, ill wait for the film come out

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I have the total opposite problem, I worry about being considered a nuisance so end up stood on my own in the corner like Billy no mates all night "

I'd go with you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Single bloke and have to say I'm greatful when invited to go as a couple on a couples night; no chance of those kind of interruptions, I always go for private rooms now or couples only room."

Him too

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By *ollyGWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Some men are sex pests, we all know that! Just tell them to politely Do One!! Not all guys are the same x

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights

im not reading all that, ill wait for the film come out"

Congratulations! You win the Internet today!

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 26/03/17 00:21:00]

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London


"Single males,

If you are attending a club and want to play with a female/couple. Do not stalk them all night and get right up close to them in play rooms. We actually had to leave quest because we were so annoyed at how disrespectful guys were being. And actually couldn't get turned on at all because of it.

We don't mind guys watching and wanking keeping a distance and then getting closer if invited by us to do so. But getting practically on top of us was just ridiculous and hovering like flies even after we showed no interest. Felt very intimidated by lots of guys around us like that and we couldn't get out the door as we were cornered.

We were looking for single males to play with and if they actually spoke to us first in the social areas and asked us our boundaries then didn't pounce on us the second we entered the play area then we would have considered doing more.

We wanted to use the private rooms to avoid this after realising they wouldn't back off a bit but they were taken and locked so we couldn't. We don't have a problem with guys wanting to play and trying their luck but we felt like this was not the right way to get us to involve them in any play.

People might say "well what do you expect" and the answer is RESPECTFUL MEN. This experience ruined our night.

Will NOT be returning to any club on a single males night again. Will stick to couple nights "

This is why I don't go to couples nights. Full of people who want to play by their rules and moan about everyone else. Yes, I have been followed by single men in clubs but more so by couples, even interrupting my play with a single man to persuade me to come with them to play ...wtf

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By *ex-a-frolicsCouple
over a year ago

Brizzle


"If I was the club reading this, I'd be quite cross.

People MUST tell staff when this happens and tell them in a way that says, 'this has ruined our night, this needs sorting as it's possibly ruining others peoples night and if we don't see you take action, we will not be returning.

Starting a thread on Fab will not work I'm afraid. A lot of single guys won't read this as this stuff is said over and over on Fab. The only way it stops is if you forcefully tell staff on the night and if guys see that wanky, annoying men get kicked out for that sort of behaviour, then they will stop.

Action speaks louder than words and believe me, if a group of guys see a wankyman turfed out, they soon behave. They don't want to lose there money and be sent home with a throbbing cock and only their hand to sort it out! "

Good point but only if the management takes the appropriate action. We complained about a space invading single guy. I spoke to him & instead of admitting his wrong said rather aggressively it wasn't my business to tell him how to behave. The owners immediately offered us a refund, which I declined, me being honest I explained we were here free because of a similar problem on the previous visit! The owners spoke to the guy & gave him a warning. Complete joke he should have been ejected. We so wanted leave a bad review but it's such a small community so felt better of it. This club will never get our business again.

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By *anillaguyMan
over a year ago

Kingston

I don't get the mentality of some guys, we had something similar last night. If it's an open room what is wrong with not crossing the threshold unless invited?

Have had to tell a few people that and while some are respectful and apologise and back off, some can get quite arsey about it.

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By *untimes surreyMan
over a year ago

guildford

As I said in my post if you're not careful all you guys you will make the clubs ban single guys it's only us that will loose out so give people respect .and have fun.

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By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley


"As I said in my post if you're not careful all you guys you will make the clubs ban single guys it's only us that will loose out so give people respect .and have fun. "

Sure this will come across the wrong way but I'll say it anyway, I'm pretty certain there aren't that many clubs that could afford to ban single guys completely, we're the largest group, paying the highest entry fee. That's unfortunately what causes the sense of entitlement that many blame for a lot of the problems, but I don't think clubs will take that as a valid reason to reduce those fees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Sure this will come across the wrong way but I'll say it anyway, I'm pretty certain there aren't that many clubs that could afford to ban single guys completely, we're the largest group, paying the highest entry fee. That's unfortunately what causes the sense of entitlement that many blame for a lot of the problems, but I don't think clubs will take that as a valid reason to reduce those fees. "

I see your point however I doubt it's matter if they reduced to costs for single men, there will always be a minority of men who will feel they are entitled to action as they have paid money for a "sex club", these guys do not understand this is a swingers club and the ladies are not their for the man's enjoyment but her own. Reducing the cosy would more likely cause more of these men to start coming.

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"

Sure this will come across the wrong way but I'll say it anyway, I'm pretty certain there aren't that many clubs that could afford to ban single guys completely, we're the largest group, paying the highest entry fee. That's unfortunately what causes the sense of entitlement that many blame for a lot of the problems, but I don't think clubs will take that as a valid reason to reduce those fees.

I see your point however I doubt it's matter if they reduced to costs for single men, there will always be a minority of men who will feel they are entitled to action as they have paid money for a "sex club", these guys do not understand this is a swingers club and the ladies are not their for the man's enjoyment but her own. Reducing the cosy would more likely cause more of these men to start coming.

"

Setting different prices is a lazy way to filter the numbers of guys. I'm sure there are some rich arseholes anyway! Actively vetting the guys would be more labour intensive but maybe it's time to look at the guys on an individual basis. Maybe even talk to them one to one or have some sort of taster session to see if they have the right attitude for the lifestyle?

Apparently there's a popular club up north that does something along these lines...

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