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"I know it's an age old topic but it's becoming more and more prevalent. Particularly as there are a lot of people going into swinging clubs that are not swingers and expect it to be a brothel/free for all. Attending a club event last Friday I was in a room with a mate and two domms having fun. Both a male and a female thought it was okay to come in, pick up a flogger and attempt to join in. They were quickly told to back off but not without some argument first. Then later I was sat in a tv room, a guy knelt down in front of me (strange I thought) grabbed my knees, pulled my legs apart and tried to enter me. I pushed him away and told him to £&@/ off, he replied that he had a condom on to which I told him again to do one. I gave him absolutely no encouragement except a smile as he walked in. He said he had seen me playing earlier and wanted some of it. Seemed he felt he had the right to touch me because I had already played. Then I get told by a woman that she had been in a situation where she had rejected a man in a club and he claimed he had 'human rights' and was allowed to touch whoever he liked!!!!!!" Mind = BLOWN!!! I mean seriously, I see TONS of women that I fancy who I don't even talk to let alone try to play with so why are guys just literally going up to random women and..? How hard is it to actually TALK to a woman? Don't know what to say? Then LEARN! | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? " They do but even on some inductions you are told by staff that there are areas where essentially "anything goes". | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? " Some good clubs do. Like the Townhouse. They have an induction night where the rules are clearly explained, the men need to stay for the full night and if appropriate then a membership is offered. Sadly some clubs are just interested in getting single men to pay silly money and just sign up anyone, and that makes them think they are entitled to behave like morons. | |||
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"This amongst reading other posts is why we would more than likely not attend a club. We had thought about and discussed it in the past but as of late the amount of things like this occuring and being posted in the forums seems to have risen. Sorry for your bad experience and if you do go again hopefully it will be better for you." Although it happens it is in our experience a very rare thing to happen. I have never been to a club where the staff wouldn't deal with such things very quickly and club members especially females I have met would help if needed. Dont let this put you off what i garuntee is a great night out. Social or otherwise. | |||
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"'Human Rights' holy fuck!! What about her human rights? Some people H x" His human rights would be pushed to the limit if he touched T without consent. If she didnt whack him. I would. An I would explain in my sweet tones that it's within my human rights to touch who I wanted. Jackass | |||
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"'Human Rights' holy fuck!! What about her human rights? Some people H x His human rights would be pushed to the limit if he touched T without consent. If she didnt whack him. I would. An I would explain in my sweet tones that it's within my human rights to touch who I wanted. Jackass" | |||
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"I'm sorry that happened to you lovely, the club should've been monitoring that better. I can only hope that nobody tries that shit with me cause I have one hell of a temper " But the staff at the club can`t be everywhere to monitor such poor behaviour! Unless you tell them what`s going on what can they do? | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? They do but even on some inductions you are told by staff that there are areas where essentially "anything goes"." So, if these incidents are happening in these areas, either the staff are wrong for describing them like that, or people need to not use them if they don't want 'anything goes'. But seems more like that some people are arseholes. It's assault. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? Some good clubs do. Like the Townhouse. They have an induction night where the rules are clearly explained, the men need to stay for the full night and if appropriate then a membership is offered. Sadly some clubs are just interested in getting single men to pay silly money and just sign up anyone, and that makes them think they are entitled to behave like morons. " and break the law. | |||
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"This amongst reading other posts is why we would more than likely not attend a club. We had thought about and discussed it in the past but as of late the amount of things like this occuring and being posted in the forums seems to have risen. Sorry for your bad experience and if you do go again hopefully it will be better for you. Although it happens it is in our experience a very rare thing to happen. I have never been to a club where the staff wouldn't deal with such things very quickly and club members especially females I have met would help if needed. Dont let this put you off what i garuntee is a great night out. Social or otherwise." It does appear to be on the increase if posts are anything to go by, but too many just brush it aside & shouldn't, maybe they fo because they don't want that sort of attention or to be seen as causing disruption. I am always at these posts and would say that someone would be crawling from a club on their hands & knees if it happened to us, whether that comes across as too aggressive or not I give not one jot. Clubs should be sorting this, not attendees. But they can only sort it if told & then based on their reaction you will find whether it is somewhere you will attend again or not. Yes many clubs make money from the single guys but without the women & couples attending there would be no club.. S | |||
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"I'm sorry that happened to you lovely, the club should've been monitoring that better. I can only hope that nobody tries that shit with me cause I have one hell of a temper " The club can only do so much unless there told. Every club we've been in have staff that walk around but unless every room had a member of staff standing in it (witch I'm sure would soon get complained about) it's up to the people to report it. Then the staff can do something. Usually they kick the person out and revoke there membership. | |||
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"I'm sorry that happened to you lovely, the club should've been monitoring that better. I can only hope that nobody tries that shit with me cause I have one hell of a temper The club can only do so much unless there told. Every club we've been in have staff that walk around but unless every room had a member of staff standing in it (witch I'm sure would soon get complained about) it's up to the people to report it. Then the staff can do something. Usually they kick the person out and revoke there membership. " If you don't report it, the guy will keep repeating it and potentially get even more serious. Report him to staff, and he will be thrown out / banned - problem permanently solved. | |||
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"I know it's an age old topic but it's becoming more and more prevalent. Particularly as there are a lot of people going into swinging clubs that are not swingers and expect it to be a brothel/free for all. Attending a club event last Friday I was in a room with a mate and two domms having fun. Both a male and a female thought it was okay to come in, pick up a flogger and attempt to join in. They were quickly told to back off but not without some argument first. Then later I was sat in a tv room, a guy knelt down in front of me (strange I thought) grabbed my knees, pulled my legs apart and tried to enter me. I pushed him away and told him to £&@/ off, he replied that he had a condom on to which I told him again to do one. I gave him absolutely no encouragement except a smile as he walked in. He said he had seen me playing earlier and wanted some of it. Seemed he felt he had the right to touch me because I had already played. Then I get told by a woman that she had been in a situation where she had rejected a man in a club and he claimed he had 'human rights' and was allowed to touch whoever he liked!!!!!!" Sadly just like anywhere in life there are generally dicks, who ruin it for others. With the bdsm thing, we used to get this all the time, any time I used rope some prick would but in to say how it should be done and to did spend wiggles... so we stopped going (especially given how much we constantly heard, swingers are to gropey) Has happens say less in swinging, but generally is again always that one twat, missed out on a stunning newbie couple as a single guy wouldn't leave room, or had idiots try to touch like its a right. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? They do but even on some inductions you are told by staff that there are areas where essentially "anything goes"." Yes there are some areas in clubs where people are told that the rules are more relaxed like orgy rooms but the staff also state that no still means no and don't just take it that you can join in with people. The only place that we've seen in a club that is enter at you own risk is the dark/ gloryhole rooms. Witch is common sense really you go into somewhere pitch black or a gloryhole/ groping box then your going to get touch. How ever the op said she was sitting watching TV that should of been report to staff. | |||
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"I'm sorry that happened to you lovely, the club should've been monitoring that better. I can only hope that nobody tries that shit with me cause I have one hell of a temper The club can only do so much unless there told. Every club we've been in have staff that walk around but unless every room had a member of staff standing in it (witch I'm sure would soon get complained about) it's up to the people to report it. Then the staff can do something. Usually they kick the person out and revoke there membership. If you don't report it, the guy will keep repeating it and potentially get even more serious. Report him to staff, and he will be thrown out / banned - problem permanently solved." These incidents definitely need to be reported to the clubs so they can deal with it appropriately. Cross me and I know how to deal with it but unless they are thrown out/banned then things could escalate. In future I will report to the club. | |||
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"I know it's an age old topic but it's becoming more and more prevalent. Particularly as there are a lot of people going into swinging clubs that are not swingers and expect it to be a brothel/free for all. Attending a club event last Friday I was in a room with a mate and two domms having fun. Both a male and a female thought it was okay to come in, pick up a flogger and attempt to join in. They were quickly told to back off but not without some argument first. Then later I was sat in a tv room, a guy knelt down in front of me (strange I thought) grabbed my knees, pulled my legs apart and tried to enter me. I pushed him away and told him to £&@/ off, he replied that he had a condom on to which I told him again to do one. I gave him absolutely no encouragement except a smile as he walked in. He said he had seen me playing earlier and wanted some of it. Seemed he felt he had the right to touch me because I had already played. Then I get told by a woman that she had been in a situation where she had rejected a man in a club and he claimed he had 'human rights' and was allowed to touch whoever he liked!!!!!!" We've had one or two sarcastic comments from guys who think because they paid to come in and we weren't doing anything just talking. Also plenty of wondering hands but when told to do one they normally run off. But never anything like that. Shocked. | |||
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"In the dark room once i got set upon and a bloke bit my boob. I was bruised for days. No..didnt report it..i was too shocked at the time " Yup. That needed to be reported. | |||
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"Maybe the club rules should be posted somewhere more visible. Most clubs have rules and etiquette posted on their websites but somewhere more physical in the club might be better" It's terrifying that adults need to be told that you don't touch another person sexually without consent or involve them in anything sexual at all unless it's agreed. | |||
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"Maybe the club rules should be posted somewhere more visible. Most clubs have rules and etiquette posted on their websites but somewhere more physical in the club might be better It's terrifying that adults need to be told that you don't touch another person sexually without consent or involve them in anything sexual at all unless it's agreed." The sign would be "Laws of sexual assault still apply inside the club" . It isn't rocket science, chat in the bar and go and play. Or if play is already happening in an open room, just a sexy whispered chat about joining in. Easy, non-intrusive and can all stay fun and relaxed. | |||
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"This amongst reading other posts is why we would more than likely not attend a club. We had thought about and discussed it in the past but as of late the amount of things like this occuring and being posted in the forums seems to have risen. Sorry for your bad experience and if you do go again hopefully it will be better for you." This | |||
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"This is what puts me off going to a club Me too " It shouldn't. The things being discussed are very rare. Really a single lady would be safer in a club environment than a private meet imo. | |||
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"This is what puts me off going to a club Me too It shouldn't. The things being discussed are very rare. Really a single lady would be safer in a club environment than a private meet imo. " We attend clubs on a regular basis and have done so for the last 3/4 years. We do not get any unwanted attention or haven't really seen any such behaviour. Clubs are modern friendly places that you would love. All are non pressured and happy places to be. Do attend and enjoy. Xxx | |||
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"This is what puts me off going to a club Me too It shouldn't. The things being discussed are very rare. Really a single lady would be safer in a club environment than a private meet imo. " Yes I don't do private first meets for this very reason. Things happen everywhere. The standards of the club show in how they deal with it - or not in some cases. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? " We are members of to clubs and both do and keep an eye on new people | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? We are members of to clubs and both do and keep an eye on new people " Please excuse my ignorance, club virgin here. Do single guys just turn up to clubs and go round touching any woman they feel?? Do they even talk first? Lol Mortified of these stories of guys just walking into a room and touching a random girls pussycat or Breasts? Is this what happens?? | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? We are members of to clubs and both do and keep an eye on new people Please excuse my ignorance, club virgin here. Do single guys just turn up to clubs and go round touching any woman they feel?? Do they even talk first? Lol Mortified of these stories of guys just walking into a room and touching a random girls pussycat or Breasts? Is this what happens?? " No, is the short answer. That's the discussion. 1% might do and get thrown out if seen or reported. | |||
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"Haha auto correct! Pussy not pussycat. That would be awkward in the sexy room, a lady sitting there with her pussycat Hah !" You're lucky. My autocorrect makes pussy pissy, pussycat is always preferable | |||
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"This is what puts me off going to a club Me too It shouldn't. The things being discussed are very rare. Really a single lady would be safer in a club environment than a private meet imo. " I would never go into a pub alone, but happily attend swinging clubs. I feel safer there, knowing if I have had a problem, there are regulars or staff that would intervene. I have only had one bad experience in the last year and that was a woman grabbing my boobs with no prior conversation. Please do not be put off by these posts , incidents are very rare in the majority of clubs. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? We are members of to clubs and both do and keep an eye on new people Please excuse my ignorance, club virgin here. Do single guys just turn up to clubs and go round touching any woman they feel?? Do they even talk first? Lol Mortified of these stories of guys just walking into a room and touching a random girls pussycat or Breasts? Is this what happens?? No, is the short answer. That's the discussion. 1% might do and get thrown out if seen or reported." They do happen but thankfully they are not the normal/acceptable thing to happen. The trouble is it ruins your night. Nothing sexy or fun about being groped. Single women on the scene are a minority. Unless clubs take a firm stance on this fewer women will go to clubs. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? They do but even on some inductions you are told by staff that there are areas where essentially "anything goes"." "Anything goes"??? Consent still needs to be given surely?? | |||
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"Maybe the club rules should be posted somewhere more visible. Most clubs have rules and etiquette posted on their websites but somewhere more physical in the club might be better It's terrifying that adults need to be told that you don't touch another person sexually without consent or involve them in anything sexual at all unless it's agreed." | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? They do but even on some inductions you are told by staff that there are areas where essentially "anything goes"." Really? This could be why some guys come into the scene with the wrong ideas. If some clubs really do have such an area, Chinese whispers could well end up leaving lots of newbies thinking this is the norm. It certainly is not from my considerable experience. | |||
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"Really this behaviour isn't that common and usually a very blunt 'no thanks' stops most of it. If not, tell them to kindly f**k off, it usually does the trick. " Agreed, we go to clubs every couple of months and have never had a problem with anyone - not saying it doesn't happen, just not something we've experienced. Clubs are much safer than pushing through a rowded bar on a friday or saturday night! | |||
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"In the dark room once i got set upon and a bloke bit my boob. I was bruised for days. No..didnt report it..i was too shocked at the time " Omg- that's a reason why I don't go in there. Another is usually the guys that go in the dark room are the ones that can't get any action - the ones that grope without asking etc etc. As I call them, the undesirables. The club does have staff wandering around every so often but it's not worth complaining. I've complained twice in 6 months and now I've been labelled as a moaner by one member of staff. That's why I deal with it myself. If they don't want a bloody nose they don't touch me. Simple. The club shows new people around but I was never told about consent. Suggestions have been made about signs being put up but to be frank they will be ignored. Also those that use/claim the language barrier will say they didn't understand the sign. A group of us were sat chatting in the lounge, 3 Arabic looking guys sat down (one of them had been pestering several women throughout the evening). One asked which nights were the best to come. I asked him if he meant which nights was he more likely to get sex - he said yes. My reply was none as it wasn't a brothel and it was down to women's choice as to and if they play with anyone. I told him he shouldn't come with that attitude. He wasn't impressed Sadly that's how the majority of new single men think | |||
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"This is what puts me off going to a club " We've been going to clubs for 10 years and this has never happened once. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I would be surprised if it was a common occurrence. Also those who are prone to forget about concent don't limit themselves to club meets. You could just as easily meet them for a one on one meet. At least in a club there are other people and staff about. At a solo meeting there is no induction or additional signage, or fellow swinger to stop them. I'm sure most one on one meets go fine too, but there are risks of bad experience no matter how you organise a night of fun. | |||
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"Do clubs not have some sort of induction where you're told what's not acceptable? Maybe they should? " The clubs I've attended all do. I would be very surprised if there is a single club anywhere that doesn't! | |||
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"Cupids has a zero tolerance to any uninvited premeditated touching. As a female centric club & a true swingers club we do not give warnings. Every customer Cpls & singles recieve a guided tour of the club - the club rules are explained in full & at length. Therefore the weak excuse "I don't know or understand" does NOT form an excuse. Inappropriate touching reported by customers or witnessed by a member of staff results in the culprit or culprits leaving the club & barred. This we believe is the only way to ensure EVERYONE knows the rules & etiquette - expected behaviour. We pride ourselves on this zero tolerance stance. Cupids "where the customer comes first" " Pleased to see a club taking it so seriously. Wish all clubs did | |||
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