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Vanilla Alternative first timers

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By *mm and Her OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Happy Friday you horny bunch

We're getting excited about our first visit to VA on 24th Feb. We've been to Abfabs, Eurekas etc before but are really looking forward to VA as we've only heard good things.

We've seen the dress code is smart and then dress down in the play areas, what do you all normally wear? The night we're going is their anniversary lingerie party so presume lingerie is acceptable all night instead then x

For anyone who has been on a Friday, are there particular times it's more busy?

Feel free to say hi to us if you'll be there. We only bite if asked x

- Her xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi.

We are going for our first night on March 11th.

We can't wait either!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's such a great club....,

Usually go on a Saturday evening so it might be a bit different on a Friday, but generally the ladies dress up then change into lingerie around 11pm no pressure though and many don't.

Massive hot tub that is well worth a visit

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I just wore normal going out clothes

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By *-angel-XWoman
over a year ago

hell

Wear normal club wear , Fridays are quieter as per most places

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

It's a great club, we love it there. Where something smart and sexy for the bar area, then most people move into the hot tub, naked obviously then stay naked to play

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By *mm and Her OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Thanks everyone to who has replied here and privately x Very excited!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The mrs is planning on wearing a teasing little dress for the first part of night and then some lingerie for second half.

What's normal dress code for men?

Smart jeans and a shirt acceptable?

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"The mrs is planning on wearing a teasing little dress for the first part of night and then some lingerie for second half.

What's normal dress code for men?

Smart jeans and a shirt acceptable?"

Yeah, smart jeans, smart shirt, smart shoes are fine. Stained jeans, un-ironed shirt and knackered old trainers, not so much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant! Thanks.

I'm trying to convince her to wear boots ????

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By *mm and Her OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

We're wishing it was the 24th already! Not very good at waiting...

- Her x

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Brilliant! Thanks.

I'm trying to convince her to wear boots ????"

There is no reason why she shouldn't

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By *arahD72TV/TS
over a year ago

Bucks

It's an absolutely amazing venue. Most dedicated fantastic owners and extremely lovely and friendly staff. Always have a great time here.

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By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)

We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

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By *educerMan
over a year ago

Brentwood

Love it at VA and can't wait to go back in March

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No."

I dont think its clique, but they need to do something to help the social interaction in the bar area.

We are shit in clubs, we are very shy and find it hard to find a couple we like the look of and to chat to. The layout of the VA doesn't always help this, the small tall tables at the back only have two seats each, so if a couple are already sitting there its hard to join them.

The sofas are too far apart to comfortably have a conversation, the music is often so loud its hard to talk to your partner, let alone anyone else in the bar.

The dance area is wasted space, I dont think I have ever seen anyone dance there.

Try not to get me wrong, we do really really enjoy the club, but they could make interactions easier with the layout.

Lots of other couples also look shy, and like they want someone to talk to them, but it can be tough.

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By *ternal OptimistMan
over a year ago

London

Had exactly that experience there as well, nice club,great staff but due to nerves shyness etc find it incredibly difficult to start casual conversations etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had exactly that experience there as well, nice club,great staff but due to nerves shyness etc find it incredibly difficult to start casual conversations etc"

We've found the smoking area and hot tub quite good for gerting conversations started as it's less noisy than the bar area.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"Had exactly that experience there as well, nice club,great staff but due to nerves shyness etc find it incredibly difficult to start casual conversations etc

We've found the smoking area and hot tub quite good for gerting conversations started as it's less noisy than the bar area. "

It always looks social out there, but we don't smoke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had exactly that experience there as well, nice club,great staff but due to nerves shyness etc find it incredibly difficult to start casual conversations etc

We've found the smoking area and hot tub quite good for gerting conversations started as it's less noisy than the bar area.

It always looks social out there, but we don't smoke "

I don't either but L does, I just go out side for the chat tbh.

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By *horty4Man
over a year ago

london

I find it far less cliquey than a certain west of London venue! As a single guy i usually have a good time though. VA and Le Boudoir are my fav clubs

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Is it a clique because people naturally gravitate towards friends they know or greet the owners they've been so warmly welcomed by on previous visits?

I don't think it is. We love to chat to new couples and introduce new people to our friends and the owners. But often people are standing right at the back, out of the way, then expect people to go and talk to them. Perhaps it's those people that need to bite the bullet and get involved. I've never seen anyone given an unfriendly reception at the VA. It's a great club with a warm friendly enviroment. Excepted some nights are better than others but that is entirely dependant on who is at any club on any given night.

We found it difficult the first time we went to Libs but since then we have had great times there. It's down to the individual to get invovled as much as it is others to involve them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We attended last Friday for the bi night. Lovely older guy chatted to us straight away and we laughed a lot which really settled us. We do agree bar area could be laid out a bit better to induce interaction. Hot tub is definitely the place to go after a couple of drinks to strike up conversations and eye up the talent

We had a fantastic night and will definitely be back soon. Thanks VA

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By *ternal OptimistMan
over a year ago

London

Don't get me wrong, it's not VA it's us, very difficult when shy initially to just wander up and make small talk.

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By *arahD72TV/TS
over a year ago

Bucks


"We attended last Friday for the bi night. Lovely older guy chatted to us straight away and we laughed a lot which really settled us. We do agree bar area could be laid out a bit better to induce interaction. Hot tub is definitely the place to go after a couple of drinks to strike up conversations and eye up the talent

We had a fantastic night and will definitely be back soon. Thanks VA"

I was at the VA bi night too.

Nothing worse than struggling to reach the bar, especially 7" heels when people are seated around it. It hasn't got huge amount of room around the bar as people seem to huddle there and chat. There is a huge lounge area that's great to interact and strike up conversations.

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By *mm and Her OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

One week to go for our first visit! We're getting very excited.

Also about the social with a lovely lady before we go to the club

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By *earandbunnykinsCouple
over a year ago

Stanwick

We've just booked in for the 24th and staying over again. Our last visit on a Friday was just two weeks ago - we had an amazing night

I'm sure as it's the clubs birthday weekend it'll be busy in every respect.

Looking forward to dressing up for the evening although no idea which outfit I'll choose yet!

Bunny x

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By *mm and Her OP   Couple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire


"We've just booked in for the 24th and staying over again. Our last visit on a Friday was just two weeks ago - we had an amazing night

I'm sure as it's the clubs birthday weekend it'll be busy in every respect.

Looking forward to dressing up for the evening although no idea which outfit I'll choose yet!

Bunny x "

Bunny are you going to go in lingerie as that's the theme or are you dressing down to lingerie? I'm trying to decide what to wear too!!

- Her x

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By *earandbunnykinsCouple
over a year ago

Stanwick


"We've just booked in for the 24th and staying over again. Our last visit on a Friday was just two weeks ago - we had an amazing night

I'm sure as it's the clubs birthday weekend it'll be busy in every respect.

Looking forward to dressing up for the evening although no idea which outfit I'll choose yet!

Bunny x

Bunny are you going to go in lingerie as that's the theme or are you dressing down to lingerie? I'm trying to decide what to wear too!!

- Her x"

As we could walk from our room straight to the bar, last time I breezed through the door in underwear; open bottom girdle, bra and shirt with stockings and heels. Will probably do similar this time.

Go with what's comfortable for you is my advice

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By *aris69Couple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

We went to VA for the valentines night for our first time and it did seem to be a little bit clicky in there we are still fairly new to the scene and quite shy think it is best to try and arrange to met another couple there

We have booked tickets for their festival of fun in Aug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/02/17 15:49:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The club itself is very nice and spacious with very nice decor which has the feel of a very plush and exclusive golf club.

However, be prepared to be judged by all in the venue, so remember get the Mercedes valeted, bring your gold card and see your local cocaine dealer before you set off.

It might not really be like that but on the few visits I've had as a single guy, it didn't feel very welcoming, as though singles are only there as a cash cow, with not much in the way of conversation from the staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

I dont think its clique, but they need to do something to help the social interaction in the bar area.

We are shit in clubs, we are very shy and find it hard to find a couple we like the look of and to chat to. The layout of the VA doesn't always help this, the small tall tables at the back only have two seats each, so if a couple are already sitting there its hard to join them.

The sofas are too far apart to comfortably have a conversation, the music is often so loud its hard to talk to your partner, let alone anyone else in the bar.

The dance area is wasted space, I dont think I have ever seen anyone dance there.

Try not to get me wrong, we do really really enjoy the club, but they could make interactions easier with the layout.

Lots of other couples also look shy, and like they want someone to talk to them, but it can be tough."

We visit regularly and see people dancing all the time, in fact the dance floor was packed at the Valentines party. The music is dance/house/club classics which seems to go down well with the classy atmosphere of the club. It will never please everyone and not everyone likes to have a dance but for those of us that do, we love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been on several occasions and never noticed a click at all ..we find the club friendly with a great atmosphere and most importantly its very non judgemental

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

We are thinking about visiting for the first time on Sat....we can be a bit shy in new places and don't know anyone going so some of the comments are a bit worrying. If there is a quiet couple sat looking like nobby no mates in the corner for God's sake say hi. It's probably us!!

K and T

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering


"We are thinking about visiting for the first time on Sat....we can be a bit shy in new places and don't know anyone going so some of the comments are a bit worrying. If there is a quiet couple sat looking like nobby no mates in the corner for God's sake say hi. It's probably us!!

K and T "

Don't worry, there will be several new couples visiting the club on Saturday. Just try to keep out of the corners and you will soon find plenty of likeminded people to chat to. As usual, I'll be meeting and greeting on reception, and the rest of the team will do their very best to make sure you have an enjoyable evening.

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


"Don't worry, there will be several new couples visiting the club on Saturday. Just try to keep out of the corners and you will soon find plenty of likeminded people to chat to. As usual, I'll be meeting and greeting on reception, and the rest of the team will do their very best to make sure you have an enjoyable evening."

Thank you...we may be brave and book then and just man up. Thanks again

T x

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"The club itself is very nice and spacious with very nice decor which has the feel of a very plush and exclusive golf club.

However, be prepared to be judged by all in the venue, so remember get the Mercedes valeted, bring your gold card and see your local cocaine dealer before you set off.

It might not really be like that but on the few visits I've had as a single guy, it didn't feel very welcoming, as though singles are only there as a cash cow, with not much in the way of conversation from the staff."

I cant see singles being cash cows when no more than 10 are let in, sometimes less x

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"Don't worry, there will be several new couples visiting the club on Saturday. Just try to keep out of the corners and you will soon find plenty of likeminded people to chat to. As usual, I'll be meeting and greeting on reception, and the rest of the team will do their very best to make sure you have an enjoyable evening.

Thank you...we may be brave and book then and just man up. Thanks again

T x "

Oh yes do it. I always encourage people to make an effort and talk to people. I tend to flit around and talk to anybody wherever I go although I do tend to struggle more on couples nights wherever I am but thats because I find it harder to mingle, not because of them. Anywhere is only as clicky as I make it. Im there on Friday and wont be there Saturday but get chatting and have a fab night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just like your local pub everywhere has regulars and it's seems like a bit of a clique, it's just people generally who know each other hanging out together and just like a pub if you stay on your own don't attempt to chat and interact that's how it will seem as the night goes on the longer you wait to chat to anyone, anyway it's all bye the bye, now VA hosts have been alerted to your visit, we are sure you will be looked after, introduced to others and have a great time

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

Thanks all...fab advice xx

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By *arry On ShaggingCouple
over a year ago

Betley


"We are thinking about visiting for the first time on Sat....we can be a bit shy in new places and don't know anyone going so some of the comments are a bit worrying. If there is a quiet couple sat looking like nobby no mates in the corner for God's sake say hi. It's probably us!!

K and T "

It'll be our first time at VA on Saturday too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've been a couple of times and are going again on saturday, and have never noticed a click at all. We did feel a little strange going in the first time but we're put at ease quickly. We sat at the bar and spoke to a few people. Don't hide yourself away in the corner is our advice

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Social at the Crown Inn pre-Club if anyone woukd like to join in just send us a msg

No one will get left out that doesn't want to be

I think you'll see that the idea there's a clique is actually miss-understanding...

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


" It'll be our first time at VA on Saturday too xx"

Ooh good..we won't be the only newbies then!! Hopefully it will be a great night xx

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By *lirty_dirty69Couple
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Although a long way away, we are attending the 'insatiable' night in April.

First time ever in a club and already bricking it, but should be fun!

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By *arry On ShaggingCouple
over a year ago

Betley


"Social at the Crown Inn pre-Club if anyone woukd like to join in just send us a msg

No one will get left out that doesn't want to be

I think you'll see that the idea there's a clique is actually miss-understanding..."

Sounds good

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


"We've been a couple of times and are going again on saturday, and have never noticed a click at all. We did feel a little strange going in the first time but we're put at ease quickly. We sat at the bar and spoke to a few people. Don't hide yourself away in the corner is our advice"

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Social at the Crown Inn pre-Club if anyone woukd like to join in just send us a msg

No one will get left out that doesn't want to be

I think you'll see that the idea there's a clique is actually miss-understanding...

Sounds good "

See you there

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

Of 100s of nights out, all over the UK, we've only ever been to a cliquey night once. Won't name the club but it was a quiet night, 12 couples in total, 11 of them regulars and us as first timers.

We tried to chat but it was obvious after about 10 minutes that we had zero in common with any of them. We legged it earlier than we usually would and probably came across like a couple of weirdos

There will always be people who know each other and naturally gravitate towards them. It would look a bit weird if you didn't. Any time we hit a club we generally spend the first hour chatting to people we already know; just catching up and usual pleasantries, but by the end the end of the night we have usually made new friends.

In any club you get out of it what you put in. If you stand there all night not making an effort to chat then what is to be expected? We always make an effort to talk to people we don't know. Sometimes it's bloody hard work, sometimes you hit it off straight away. When we started out we were nervous and sat in the corner and usually didn't chat to anyone. That was nothing to do with cliques, that was down to us being shy/nervous.

We love VA and find it one of the friendliest clubs in the country.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Of 100s of nights out, all over the UK, we've only ever been to a cliquey night once. Won't name the club but it was a quiet night, 12 couples in total, 11 of them regulars and us as first timers.

We tried to chat but it was obvious after about 10 minutes that we had zero in common with any of them. We legged it earlier than we usually would and probably came across like a couple of weirdos

There will always be people who know each other and naturally gravitate towards them. It would look a bit weird if you didn't. Any time we hit a club we generally spend the first hour chatting to people we already know; just catching up and usual pleasantries, but by the end the end of the night we have usually made new friends.

In any club you get out of it what you put in. If you stand there all night not making an effort to chat then what is to be expected? We always make an effort to talk to people we don't know. Sometimes it's bloody hard work, sometimes you hit it off straight away. When we started out we were nervous and sat in the corner and usually didn't chat to anyone. That was nothing to do with cliques, that was down to us being shy/nervous.

We love VA and find it one of the friendliest clubs in the country. "

You do meet all kinds of weirdos

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough


"You do meet all kinds of weirdos "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do we need to bring for our first visit? We are staying overnight too, read somewhere we need to bring ID is this correct?

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By *havenpussycatsCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

No id required. Just a smile and the entry money. You will have a good time

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By *ampasGrassCouple
over a year ago

London

Hmmm. Vaguely remember that we had to show ID on our first visit to VA. Might have got that wrong but maybe best to take some ID just in case it is required.

Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No."

Completely agree very very cliquey club

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering


"What do we need to bring for our first visit? We are staying overnight too, read somewhere we need to bring ID is this correct? "

Yes, as The Vanilla Alternative is a Private Members Club, we need to record some personal details and have sight of photo ID on your first visit. Initial registration is best made online via the clubs website or alternatively on a paper form at the club's reception.

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

Completely agree very very cliquey club"

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

Completely agree very very cliquey club

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

"

As you are aware, last Saturday another website were celebrating their anniversary at VA's and as a lot of their members were there from all over the UK. It therefore was not a typical Saturday night party. I'm sorry to hear that you were left to fend for yourselves and hope that maybe you'll give VA's a second chance in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking forward to attending the Milf Club in either April or May. It will be my first time at a club so hope the experience is positive

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


"

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

As you are aware, last Saturday another website were celebrating their anniversary at VA's and as a lot of their members were there from all over the UK. It therefore was not a typical Saturday night party. I'm sorry to hear that you were left to fend for yourselves and hope that maybe you'll give VA's a second chance in the future."

As you say we simply chose the wrong night to attend for the first time as it was the website party. As for fending for ourselves it wasn't really a case of that, we are perfectly capable.. just a bit shy. But perhaps the staff could of been chattier to the new couples? Just an observation not a huge criticism.

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering


"

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

As you are aware, last Saturday another website were celebrating their anniversary at VA's and as a lot of their members were there from all over the UK. It therefore was not a typical Saturday night party. I'm sorry to hear that you were left to fend for yourselves and hope that maybe you'll give VA's a second chance in the future.

As you say we simply chose the wrong night to attend for the first time as it was the website party. As for fending for ourselves it wasn't really a case of that, we are perfectly capable.. just a bit shy. But perhaps the staff could of been chattier to the new couples? Just an observation not a huge criticism. "

Observations are always most welcome. I think the truth is there were so many people we hadn't seen previously it was a bit difficult to keep track. Memo to self and rest of team 'Must do better!'

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

Completely agree very very cliquey club

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

"

But people weren't in tight knit groups Saturday....

I lost count the amount of people we spoke to Saturday night and we mingled with loads of different people in the bar area for most of the night. At least three of those were new couples who were also talking to others...

Where were you guys? We honestly didn't see anyone being isolated on their own.

I don't think it gets less cliquey in any club than it was at VA this last Saturday. That site that had their social there is the most friendly site we have ever been on!

@Steed if we are there bring anyone new that wants some friends to us and we will happily include them in our evening and please pass that on to all the other staff.

I'm really quite shocked to see these negative views. It is what you make it. If you sit back people are not going to go looking for the shy new people all night you have to try and get involved.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"We are thinking about visiting for the first time on Sat....we can be a bit shy in new places and don't know anyone going so some of the comments are a bit worrying. If there is a quiet couple sat looking like nobby no mates in the corner for God's sake say hi. It's probably us!!

K and T

It'll be our first time at VA on Saturday too xx"

How was your evening?

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

Completely agree very very cliquey club

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

But people weren't in tight knit groups Saturday....

I lost count the amount of people we spoke to Saturday night and we mingled with loads of different people in the bar area for most of the night. At least three of those were new couples who were also talking to others...

Where were you guys? We honestly didn't see anyone being isolated on their own.

I don't think it gets less cliquey in any club than it was at VA this last Saturday. That site that had their social there is the most friendly site we have ever been on!

@Steed if we are there bring anyone new that wants some friends to us and we will happily include them in our evening and please pass that on to all the other staff.

I'm really quite shocked to see these negative views. It is what you make it. If you sit back people are not going to go looking for the shy new people all night you have to try and get involved."

I didn't say at any point that I expected people to look for shy new people all night. Clearly we are not allowed an opinion and dare not say anything even slightly negative about a club.

I simply said we wish we had gone on a night that wasn't a special party night for a website and that we thought as we left the staff could of been a bit friendlier. We did chat to some people and liked many aspects of the club.

Hardly a shocking post was it. Jeez.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"We have been a couple of times and have to say that the venue is sumptuous! It is a clean and "plush" place to be.

However, it is possibly a place where small groups arrange to meet and they are not receptive to "strange" couples entering their environs. So that may give the impression of being very "clique". Add to that the fact that the bar staff seem to encourage their regulars and friends to sit at the bar, then it is almost a case of a replay of "The Slaughtered Lamb" scene from American Werewolf in London...

But we overcame the odds and had a great time when we visited. Would we go again?..

No.

Completely agree very very cliquey club

Have to agree to a certain extent and don't believe it is all down to putting effort in. It is really hard to chat if everyone is in tight knit groups. Getting to the bar on Saturday was hard and although we had a tour at the beginning none of the staff spoke to us again despite being aware we didn't know anyone.

We liked certain aspects of the club but are not sure we would go on our own again. Thanks to the few couples that were happy to say hi xx

But people weren't in tight knit groups Saturday....

I lost count the amount of people we spoke to Saturday night and we mingled with loads of different people in the bar area for most of the night. At least three of those were new couples who were also talking to others...

Where were you guys? We honestly didn't see anyone being isolated on their own.

I don't think it gets less cliquey in any club than it was at VA this last Saturday. That site that had their social there is the most friendly site we have ever been on!

@Steed if we are there bring anyone new that wants some friends to us and we will happily include them in our evening and please pass that on to all the other staff.

I'm really quite shocked to see these negative views. It is what you make it. If you sit back people are not going to go looking for the shy new people all night you have to try and get involved.

I didn't say at any point that I expected people to look for shy new people all night. Clearly we are not allowed an opinion and dare not say anything even slightly negative about a club.

I simply said we wish we had gone on a night that wasn't a special party night for a website and that we thought as we left the staff could of been a bit friendlier. We did chat to some people and liked many aspects of the club.

Hardly a shocking post was it. Jeez. "

People are busy having fun. We do try and bring in new people that we see but in the end if people don't put themselves forward it's not always easy to spot those that want to be left alone and those that don't. I'm sorry you took my post the way you clearly have, it's a public forum I'd assume you can have whatever opinion you want to express same as someone else can have a different one.

Can't comment on the staff never had an issue with them.

I never said it was a shocking post I said I was shock by the negative views not your post.

We have no affiliation with VA but after the previous negative views expressed we went on Saturday purposefully to try and make sure no one was left out. Because we enjoy others having fun, I'm sorry we seem to have missed you guys we would have liked to have met you.

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

Oh well..as you say I'm sure it is that we are not very good at putting ourselves forward. We still had a fun night anyway and would go again with friends. As with all places people's perceptions and experiences differ. Can't all be the same or life would be dull.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One does protest too much! Face it all clubs are blighted by regulars who become a clique within the club, it's a fact of life, how staff interact with the non regulars make or breaks a club, personally we've seen it where regulars mark there territory around the bar and staff interact mainly with them and it's a difficult and delicate situation for clubs to address.

As in this case with regulars & staff defending the club to the hilt this just enforces the view that there is a clique.

So please CLUBS stop denying your club has a clique of regulars who interact with staff and with each other, because every club does!!!!

How you get the balance right between welcoming & looking after non regulars and not knocking the regulars off there perch is the trick.

I kindly "Don't sit right at the bar all night please" used to work for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We look forward to seeing 'regujar' friends at the club but it does not mean we do not interact with other people, new and old alike. For us, it's as much about the social side of meeting and we love to catch up with people we know and get on with, talking about non-sexual things! Don't see how that makes us part of a 'clique'.

In our view most of the regulars at the club make a big effort to be friendly and welcoming to new people. It's worth remembering that there are couples that come along who do not wish to interact with other people maybe because they just like to play on their own or those who are very shy and want to take small steps at their own pace. There are also people who feel annoyed because they are not invited to play, this isn't down to people being unfriendly, it might be that they just don't fancy you! So please don't judge on that basis!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We're not what you'd call 'regulars' at VA, which is down to our careers rather than a lack of willingness to go, but apart from our very first visit (which may have been too busy - (NYE 2015/16)) we've been able to become social with others quite quickly when we have been. It does tend to appear that the main management have those they concentrate on, however the hot tub is a really good and relaxed place to become chatty with others. Sitting at the back of the bar on the small tables however does tend to make life noticeably difficult to be sociable. Be bravery and you'll find there are some really lovely people who go there. Is 'Steed' is who I believe he is then he's a great guy to chat to too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be really difficult for the staff and regulars to know how to judge the level of interaction new people to the club want.

First time we went we avoided eye contact, in fact any contact.

People taking an interest in any sort of pushy way, even with the best intentions, would have probably scared us off.

Now we are more confident in the way it all works we find it easy to interact socially with others at the VA, still have limited play experience but enjoy going for the opportunity to have sexy play together in a safe and clean environment.

Would recommend for any newbies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Help. We're going tomorrow first time tomorrow. People say 'dress up' then dress down later. Do regulars consider "dressing up" as an actual dress, or can you get away with a little pvc skirt, stockings and some lacy top (i.e. naughty dressing up)

We are used to going to Eurekas where anything and everything goes, but want to respect the norm of VA and not stick out too much at the beginning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a 'regular' at the club most ladies tend to wear a nice dress then change a bit later into something a little more revealing (they have a changing area and lockers) saying that, you can wear what you like really, so a short skirt and top would be most acceptable. No one will judge you and everyone is far more concerned about having a good time!

Men usually wear trousers or a smart pair of darker jeans with a shirt. It's noticeable that people there always make an effort to dress nicely.

Hope you have fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you, Im sure we will

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

There is a strict dressing down rule in the play areas.

Even if you are only going to have a look, they do not allow dressed in these areas. I went in with a black mini dress and thigh high boots and was stopped.

Never experienced this in any other club tbh. As a lady who likes to dress - I don't do the towel thing at clubs - that wasn't great for me. It was either my dress or my underwear. So I ended up down to stockings and suspenders and bra a little too early on in the evening. Bit pedantic I thought, when a towel covers as much as a dress anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like quite a bit of admin involved just to take a quick peak. Im sure it will all become abundently clear when we get there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like quite a bit of admin involved just to take a quick peak. Im sure it will all become abundently clear when we get there. "

That's the thing, people walking about fully dressed taking a peek can be intimidating. Though a sexy mini skirt and flimsy top sounds sexier than ' fully dressed'

I guess if you want to play, even just with each other or to watch then the rules are there to make the majority of people comfortable

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Sounds like quite a bit of admin involved just to take a quick peak. Im sure it will all become abundently clear when we get there.

That's the thing, people walking about fully dressed taking a peek can be intimidating. Though a sexy mini skirt and flimsy top sounds sexier than ' fully dressed'

I guess if you want to play, even just with each other or to watch then the rules are there to make the majority of people comfortable

"

This happened to me at the start of the evening with no one playing. I guess it's the layout of the club that makes it different to others....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to help others who may be put off by the mention of the dress down areas.....

There is good reason behind this and it's done for a few reasons, mainly so that clothing does not get lost or taken by mistake.. Also for safety issues...

People are usually playing in these areas and you can imagine what might happen with bundles of clothes lying around etc. Could be a hazard and could also mean losing those favourite Armani boxer shorts

You can view the area pretty well from the corridor so if you want to be a bit nosier and maybe join in then it just means a quick change into a towel (which are quite large!) which most people are happy with as many like to use the hot tub.

Generally rules are there to protect people and belongings and it's no big deal really... Play areas are also that, so if people just want to be nosey and not actually play then why are they in there?

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By *ternal OptimistMan
over a year ago

London

Unless they have changed it, there is a couple's only play room with no rules on dress that is outside of the hot tub area

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are going on 22nd and can't wait - it will be our first time so a little nervous/shy but determined to make the most of it and get chatting to people.

Hoping to liaise with some others maybe going beforehand to break the ice so to speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds very similar to libs in terms of dressing down and I always felt comfortable and relaxed when at libs. I need to try VA as a few people ha e mentioned it and it looks swank as hell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

VA is great, just wish I got to go more often.

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By *overs14Couple
over a year ago

norwich


"We are going on 22nd and can't wait - it will be our first time so a little nervous/shy but determined to make the most of it and get chatting to people.

Hoping to liaise with some others maybe going beforehand to break the ice so to speak "

We are going on the 22nd. We were meant to go tonight and then I got my period early!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are going on 22nd and can't wait - it will be our first time so a little nervous/shy but determined to make the most of it and get chatting to people.

Hoping to liaise with some others maybe going beforehand to break the ice so to speak

We are going on the 22nd. We were meant to go tonight and then I got my period early! "

Every cloud n all!

Will make sure you we say hello!

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"Help. We're going tomorrow first time tomorrow. People say 'dress up' then dress down later. Do regulars consider "dressing up" as an actual dress, or can you get away with a little pvc skirt, stockings and some lacy top (i.e. naughty dressing up)

We are used to going to Eurekas where anything and everything goes, but want to respect the norm of VA and not stick out too much at the beginning "

Smart/sexy is good and as small and sexy as you can for play areas. Or naked and towel if you prefer. I always wore a small play dress as Im not the most confident naked.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Just to help others who may be put off by the mention of the dress down areas.....

There is good reason behind this and it's done for a few reasons, mainly so that clothing does not get lost or taken by mistake.. Also for safety issues...

People are usually playing in these areas and you can imagine what might happen with bundles of clothes lying around etc. Could be a hazard and could also mean losing those favourite Armani boxer shorts

You can view the area pretty well from the corridor so if you want to be a bit nosier and maybe join in then it just means a quick change into a towel (which are quite large!) which most people are happy with as many like to use the hot tub.

Generally rules are there to protect people and belongings and it's no big deal really... Play areas are also that, so if people just want to be nosey and not actually play then why are they in there? "

To have a look. It was my first time at the club. Just wanted a quick look round. Why the big deal.

And yes I did play later on, but it was very early and no-one was playing.

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By *requent_FerryersCouple
over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth (by river)


"Of 100s of nights out, all over the UK, we've only ever been to a cliquey night once. Won't name the club but it was a quiet night, 12 couples in total, 11 of them regulars and us as first timers.

We tried to chat but it was obvious after about 10 minutes that we had zero in common with any of them. We legged it earlier than we usually would and probably came across like a couple of weirdos

There will always be people who know each other and naturally gravitate towards them. It would look a bit weird if you didn't. Any time we hit a club we generally spend the first hour chatting to people we already know; just catching up and usual pleasantries, but by the end the end of the night we have usually made new friends.

In any club you get out of it what you put in. If you stand there all night not making an effort to chat then what is to be expected? We always make an effort to talk to people we don't know. Sometimes it's bloody hard work, sometimes you hit it off straight away. When we started out we were nervous and sat in the corner and usually didn't chat to anyone. That was nothing to do with cliques, that was down to us being shy/nervous.

We love VA and find it one of the friendliest clubs in the country. "

We have always recommended VA to others we have met when they ask about which club to visit first, so please do not think we are disrespecting the club itself. We have now visited several other clubs and, as yet, have to find one that is as sumptuously furnished as VA.

However, we did find the crowd of "lovies" at the bar a little off-putting as they look right through you, then turn back to their friends who are actively engaged in barricading the bar itself. lol

We accept the fact that many will be shy and nervous at their first visit. So, if you are shy, then Xtasia might be the place for you as the staff make EVERY effort to get folk to join in, to chat and generally socialise.

In any eventuality... Go along with the clear view that you are going to enjoy yourselves!

xx

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