FabSwingers.com forum: Finally gonna try a club...but where ?? Help

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So we've been on here a while now and really wanna get a bit more involved as the kids will be off to Uni soon and well,we need to liven up our weekends a bit

Want to just go along to a club and see what it's like,but don't know where best to start or what to expect,we're very open minded,mid 30s couple...just maybe a bit shy at first..

Any ideas or advice would be really appreciated.

It was everyone's first time once right

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

It is nerve wracking for everyone to go to a club for the first time, but look on the bright side. As a couple you have each other for moral support.

Have a look at the club reviews section on the site to help make your decision on which club to try, they all have links to the club websites on too.

Once you get to the club don't hang around sitting in your car trying to pluck up courage to go in. If you do that you might just end up turning around and going home instead.

As you are going as a couple decide on your "rules" before you get there and stick to them. Will you only play with each other? Will you play separately?

On my first, and only visit so far, i decided i was only going for a look around and to socialise. I didn't want to play and everyone was very respectful of this.

When you get to the club tell them it's your first visit and someone will show you around, explain the club rules and what to do if another guest breaks them, i.e touching without asking first etc.

Most important of all just relax and enjoy yourselves

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering

One club you could consider is The Vanilla Alternative in Tempsford Bedfordshire. It's an upmarket venue and ideal for first timers. Although about 1½ hours drive, there are onsite hotel rooms (although you need to book a couple of weeks in advance) and plenty of other hotel accommodation close by.

As it would be your first club visit, I would suggest Saturday night would be best when it's couples and single ladies only.

The club has a licensed bar and massive hot tub. Check out more details at the end of the south east section of the CLUBS tab here.

There are several other very good clubs within a reasonable distance of Oxford, all somewhat different from each other.

The club scene can be great fun and you meet some wonderful people. Best wishes with your search.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Chudleigh

Good advice from both above. We found it a bit daunting at first, we still get nerves but in a good way now!

We found it a bit hard to be sure if we were both on the same wavelength to start with, for example we might both be talking to a couple and only realising we both fancied them until talking afterwards! No matter how well you know each other this bit can be a bit confusing - to get around this we agreed a safe word that we could use if either of us were getting uncomfortable, which could be used in conversation, or if we were more closely engaged with someone else...

We also agreed to never take one for the team. We have found that over time we have got much more comfortable with what we will do and find it fun at times just to enjoy each other in a Club 'bubble'.

All Clubs are different, even every night can be different at the same club as it depends so much on what you want and whether people you fancy will be there also. But the upside is even if you don't find someone else to play with, at least you will have each other - showing off can be fun

We find clothed clubs better, just because you get the chance to dress up and then unwrap when you are ready!

Best thing to do is go to several to find out what you like and don't put any pressure on yourself by feeling obliged to play. No should always be accepted with grace and it is perfectly reasonable to not accept offers of company if you don't fancy the other person/people!

Enjoy, it is great fun

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

My playmate took me to The Vanilla Alternative last Friday and it was amazing. As it was my first time I set the rules and only played with him. The staff were really friendly and it's a lovely place and the hot tub was amazing. It's was couples and singles night but they limit the number of single men and I found them very respectful when we said we didn't want to play with them.

Good luck x

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By *ightDiversionMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

Hi Gary and Haley

Are you still to take the plunge physically ? as i see from your veri’s (ok yes i was perving at the profile...) its all by webcam so far.

I think he advice above is very salient – decide on your limits and prepare to just socialise on your first visit . Lots of choice around you as per the clubs section.

Perhaps easiest would be Abfabs just down the M40 to Heathrow – you could just pop in for an hour or 2 see what the fuss is about pop home and discuss your plans for your next visit .

The fundamental difference between clubs is really the clothed till play or towels from the start split.

Some clubs like Xtasia (near Birmingham) which has a night club feel to it could be seen as a normal night club with things going on around ! (may not even realise you had been to a swingers club! )

Some are very much a swingers club like chameleons (again near Birmingham ) – you dress down into lingerie or towels straight away – no dance floor as such easy access to things like Jacuzzi, steam room sauna etc.

Abfabs is a mix of the 2 with some people staying clothed and some opting for towels and hitting the pool and spa things.

Different types suit different people and both are great in their own way.

As a general rule place are much busier of Friday/Saturday nights than they are in the week (if there open) – again most have couples only night on one of the 2 and as suggested this may be a better option to start. To get a feel for a club it can be great to go on a quiet mid-week evening but that may not be an option. Although generally i believe it is harder to start conversations on couple nights as often people seem to know each other and are in deep conversation all night – it is easier then with the busy single guys as well nights. It all depends what you want from the trip.

Whatever you opt for i suggest not just a safe word but some phrase you can use to let the other spouse realise you’re not finding the situation horny and don’t want to play – something subtle – so it isn’t obvious to the other couple . Feel free to IM for more details and ideas !

Have fun and play safe !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes Vanilla Alternative I say for your first one book a room and stay over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember our first visit we sat outside in the car for an hour watching who went in

. Lol was daunting but exciting. Mind you that was 12 years ago lol were part of the furniture now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with the above.

Vanilla Alternative would be great for a first time. We went there for our second time. The staff are really friendly and show you around, go over all the rules to make you feel comfortable. They have a really nice bar (although drinks a bit pricey £4 each), a dance floor with pole and loud party music on, a quieter lounge area with plenty of sofas and they even put on a buffet! There is a big jacuzzi pool with wet play areas all around it which we enjoyed. They provide you with towels and a locker in the changing rooms too. The atmosphere is really great in the play room with beds. Quite a dark room with quieter music on and lots of space if you're into watching others or group play there is bigger beds.

We went on a couple and female only night. You shouldn't worry about saying no to people if you don't want to play with them. We turned down a couple and they completely accepted it. Everyone was very respectful

We went to townhouse for our first time and I was a bit overwhelmed at first because there is a lot more going on there like sex swings and like rooms with sex machines, bondage room and stuff and porn on tv even in the bar area. I'd say vanilla alternative is probably the best one to go to for first time. Seems more relaxed here. We also noticed VA seemed to have a lot of people over 30-35 but townhouse had more of the younger crowd. Hope this helps x X

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