FabSwingers.com forum: New to clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After akot of discussion, We are taking out first tentative steps into swinging and would like to go to a club.

Xstasia and Chans seem to be the nearest to us and both seem to have great feedback on here. Could we get some advise on which to go to for a no pressure first visit and what to expect at both?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

After akot of discussion, We are taking out first tentative steps into swinging and would like to go to a club.

Xstasia and Chans seem to be the nearest to us and both seem to have great feedback on here. Could we get some advise on which to go to for a no pressure first visit and what to expect at both?"

We've only been to Chams once but we wouldn't go back unless it was a couples night. We found the single guys far too persistent there

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both are great clubs, but they are very different.

Have a look at the club reviews section for more details but in a nutshell Xtasia is more of a nightclub and Chams more of a mix of jacuzzi, sauna, steam room and playrooms. Really depends what suits you - dress up for a club or dress down in a towel?

Slightly surprised by the comment on single guys at Chams as, generally, they are pretty respectful. That said, I do agree that it makes sense to pick the right night. Fridays are the busiest and most single guy heavy, Saturday nights are Couples and single ladies only, Sundays are usually a good mix, Mondays are bi-nights, Tuesday is Naked night and the others tend to be quieter and a bit more hit and miss.

The first trip is pretty daunting but you will quickly settle in and the staff at Chams in particular are great!

Hope that helps and if you need any more info just yell!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly surprised by the comment on single guys at Chams as, generally, they are pretty respectful."

I (fem) found it very off putting, followed by guys who didn't try for conversation.

It's the only club we've been to where the guys were rattling the doors of our locked room and when we went to change to leave there was someone stood watching us as we were getting dressed in the couples change room.

We don't typically avoid mixed clubs but we found it very uncomfortable and not at all what we had expected. Friends who had recommended it, we later found out, had only been previously on a Sat night.

We may have been unfortunate but I'd definitely advise newbies to the club scene to have an easy first experience. We had a poor first one at a different club and it put us off for a year, it can be a big deal but also can be really right when you get to the right night at the right club.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear your experience was an uncomfortable and unsettling one.

There are a lot of single guys that will attend Chams on a Friday night and probably not have a conversation all night. They will simply loiter around or follow ladies and couples desperately hoping that something will happen. Personally, I don't understand it as it must be deeply unattractive to those being followed and it's invariably those that smile, chat and generally act like a normal and likeable human being that end up having the most fun.

There is probably a degree of inevitability to ladies and couples getting an excessive amount of attention on mixed nights but that should never be to the extent that anyone feels uncomfortable. The staff at Chams are usually very responsive to problems and concerns so always speak to them and they will deal with anyone that doesn't understand that "no, means no" and you don't touch without asking.

Hope your experiences don't stop you returning!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are a lot of single guys that will attend Chams on a Friday night and probably not have a conversation all night. They will simply loiter around or follow

Hope your experiences don't stop you returning!

As we like to be watched then we usually enjoy guys being around, but I need to feel comfy to then get into the right mood to be happy to be on show in a somewhat vulnerable position. Some places and people do that successfully. Perhaps if Chams had more viewing rooms then the guys would have more to do? seem to remember there weren't many closed rooms with windows. Was it maybe just the couples room? (We got lost a bit! )

Tbh it probably will stop us going back. Chams is a long way for us and we've yet to try Xtasia despite meeting Mr Xtasia at Swingfields and he was great. But never say never.

Know too many people who enjoy Chams though so wouldn't go as far as to say to the OP not to go, just select the night carefully as you don't want put off first time out. However for a first time you may not be looking to play at all, only socialise and then it's less of an issue I guess

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said both clubs are different with xtasia more a nightclub feel and never really saw much action going on chams is our personal favourite and is a dress down club depending on what your looking for depends on the night to go Mondays is bi night and one of you must be bi and the other bi friendly Saturdays is cples night our favourite night at chams as no single guys and the staff will look after you and everyone we've met there have been friendly we also go on a Sunday just to chill and relax and never played on a Sunday as we're normally recovering from Saturday I'm sure you could always arrange to meet another cple there for a social without any pressure may help ease the nerves whichever club you decide good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread