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Disabled swinger

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By *izago OP   Man
over a year ago

West Yorks

Hi, Is being disabled a big deal? so conscious about attending a club, Been to a few but feel the eyes looking at me cos I walk with a stick. I broke my neck some years ago now, after a motorbike accident, a couple of clubs I've been to have been sound but would it stop people wanting to play. Obviously got to be an attraction, would the disabled bit matter??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see why tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, Is being disabled a big deal? so conscious about attending a club, Been to a few but feel the eyes looking at me cos I walk with a stick. I broke my neck some years ago now, after a motorbike accident, a couple of clubs I've been to have been sound but would it stop people wanting to play. Obviously got to be an attraction, would the disabled bit matter??"

Hi Gizago, for me a disability isn't a problem. One of my intimate pals has a floppy arm (motorbike accident) - I just have to be careful not to lie on it. Having said that, being a single guy at a club could be difficult, disability or no disability. Just my opinion and stand to be corrected xx

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

I wouldn't see it as a problem. I've seen a few people in wheelchairs and on crutches at VA and they all seem to enjoy themselves. Just do some research first to make sure the club can accommodate your disability with how its set up and moving about in the venue x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, Is being disabled a big deal? so conscious about attending a club, Been to a few but feel the eyes looking at me cos I walk with a stick. I broke my neck some years ago now, after a motorbike accident, a couple of clubs I've been to have been sound but would it stop people wanting to play. Obviously got to be an attraction, would the disabled bit matter??"

Get yourself along to quest in Leeds, it's been designed to be wheelchair/disabled friendly as the female of the couple who own it is disabled, lovely friendly place and the owners are ace ess

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By *sh6866Man
over a year ago

halifax

Been wondering this ourselves as mrs is in a wheelchair..thanks for the tips

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By *r an Mrs xMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Only problem is access As most clubs have stairs

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

We've never had a problem nor would it be an issue for us to meet others with disabilities

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In itself it shouldn't be an issue...but as others have said, access can be for some. Though I have seen someone in a wheelchair in Xtasia a while back and they have plenty stairs.

There is level access through the Fire escape/smoking area route tho....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mildred has a bad back but you wouldn't know unless you looked hard at her posture ect , but why would you,,

we have seen man other guys and fems with walking sticks and other different ailments,

some maybe put off but on the whole I don't think its a problem, go for it and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been wondering this ourselves as mrs is in a wheelchair..thanks for the tips"

Quests corridors are wide enough to get 2 wheelchairs side by side everything's on one level too. Ess

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It wouldn't bother me

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"...

...

... Obviously got to be an attraction, would the disabled bit matter??"

I have seen disabled people in clubs. I don't think anyone paid them more or less attention

Disability in a swinger's club matters as much or as little as it matters in a niteclub. Some will not want to play with a disabled person as they will choose the easier option; others will make the effort of first finding out how much a particular disability might or might not restrict play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone said before it is tricky for single men at the best of times. I lost my voice for 8 months and my fun fell off a cliff. So l gave up for a long time, couples and singles are there to have fun and have very little time for anyone who does not meet there immediate requirements. That being said personality goes a long way, and if you don't give yourself the opportunity you will never know, so go for it.

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

As Emaness says, Quest in Leeds is totally wheelchair accessible and everyone there is very friendly and accommodating

Sally

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By *izago OP   Man
over a year ago

West Yorks

Thanks for the replies everybody. Looks like Quest it is. Appreciate the advice, Not asked the question before,,

Thanks again xx

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By *eyshamcoupleCouple
over a year ago

morecambe

My wife walks with a stick and suffers from photo -sensitivity the staff at Infusion Blackpool go out of their way to help her and it's never caused an issue with fun ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to meet a couple, he was in a wheelchair, paralysed from the chest down, didn't make a blind bit of difference. Nothing funnier than him forgetting to turn off the power and me nudging it, then ending up flat out on the floor!

Maybe you should get a specially designed 'swinging' stick to break the ice, redesign the handle as a working dildo

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I used to meet a couple, he was in a wheelchair, paralysed from the chest down, didn't make a blind bit of difference. Nothing funnier than him forgetting to turn off the power and me nudging it, then ending up flat out on the floor!

Maybe you should get a specially designed 'swinging' stick to break the ice, redesign the handle as a working dildo "

Make certain to stick a condom on; safe walking and all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play"

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people "
fortunately mine are absence seizures so normally I'm OK but always better to check

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people fortunately mine are absence seizures so normally I'm OK but always better to check"

Easiest kind for others to deal with, I'd tell people, I don't think that would scare them so much!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See the person not the chair or disability.

Sometimes I get the shakes (I have a condition thats becoming more prominent but still in early stages ) and I would hate to find out someone went off me because of it.

Its not our choice or fault we are afflicted and it certainly doesn't make us any less nice or able.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people fortunately mine are absence seizures so normally I'm OK but always better to check"

At the risk of sounding silly, what is an absence seizure? And what does one do for a person having an absence seizure?

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I'm only deaf and sadly encountered problems on meets, but thankfully most of the people are nice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people fortunately mine are absence seizures so normally I'm OK but always better to check

At the risk of sounding silly, what is an absence seizure? And what does one do for a person having an absence seizure?"

The best way to describe it is a loss of consciousness, you go blank, they don't usually last long, some people don't even notice them. I'd just check someone was okay after an absence seizure, normally not much more you can do x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm only deaf and sadly encountered problems on meets, but thankfully most of the people are nice x"

I George am nearly deaf too , its a bit awkward in clubs with music,when I have to keep asking peeps to repeat themselves all the time, mildred has spinal problems too

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

Disability shouldn't make any difference but it can and does.

Some people don't know how to approach a person with an obvious disability and avoid conversation in fear of insulting that person. I take a different a approach and just hit the subject head on..'hey, so how come you have a stick?' Most people are more than happy to discuss their disability and the elephant in the room is removed straight away. Then you can get started on finding about the person and forget about the stick.

As a single guy, I think you will be further disadvantaged. You have a stick, which some people won't be able to deal with (as explained above) and there will be couples/ladies who, probably subconciously, will choose a guy without a stick as they often have such an abundance of choice, they will go for the person who is most likely to meet their needs physically. Like I said, I don't even think most people would do this intentionally.

As a club, we welcome people, regardless of their disability and it's our job to make things easier for them and accommodate them as best as possible. Inclusion should not just be lip service. So if someone calls the club and tells me they have a mobility problem for instance, I will ask them what I can do to make their visit more pleasant and will try to facilitate this. If someone is partially sighted, I will ensure that all of our landing lights are on and leave the low lit ambiance to the play rooms.

We all need to be inclusive in our approach and not be afraid to be upfront and ask about a persons disability. It is a huge part of their life and shouldn't be side stepped/ avoided.

If you find that you struggle on the scene, it's not your fault and is not your fight. It's just that we are all human and some people just don't know how to handle people who, on the surface, look different. There are plenty of us who can see beyond the disability and just see you as you.

I'll tell you a quick story. A guy broke a big rule in our club..well several in one go actually. I asked him to get dressed and leave, like I do with everybody who thinks they are above the rules. He got right up in my face and said 'you can't do that, I'm disabled; you are discriminating against me because I walk with sticks'. After my initial shock, I said, 'No actually. Sticks or not, you broke the rules. You want equality, well it works both ways..oh and don't pull the disability card, because I am also disabled, you just can't see mine, now get your kecks on and leave'! lol He had been caught taking drugs, groping a guy (!) and tried to force himself into play, all within 5 minutes!!! haha The joys of running a club..thankfully this is rare

Good luck anyway xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Disability shouldn't make any difference but it can and does.

Some people don't know how to approach a person with an obvious disability and avoid conversation in fear of insulting that person. I take a different a approach and just hit the subject head on..'hey, so how come you have a stick?' Most people are more than happy to discuss their disability and the elephant in the room is removed straight away. Then you can get started on finding about the person and forget about the stick.

As a single guy, I think you will be further disadvantaged. You have a stick, which some people won't be able to deal with (as explained above) and there will be couples/ladies who, probably subconciously, will choose a guy without a stick as they often have such an abundance of choice, they will go for the person who is most likely to meet their needs physically. Like I said, I don't even think most people would do this intentionally.

As a club, we welcome people, regardless of their disability and it's our job to make things easier for them and accommodate them as best as possible. Inclusion should not just be lip service. So if someone calls the club and tells me they have a mobility problem for instance, I will ask them what I can do to make their visit more pleasant and will try to facilitate this. If someone is partially sighted, I will ensure that all of our landing lights are on and leave the low lit ambiance to the play rooms.

We all need to be inclusive in our approach and not be afraid to be upfront and ask about a persons disability. It is a huge part of their life and shouldn't be side stepped/ avoided.

If you find that you struggle on the scene, it's not your fault and is not your fight. It's just that we are all human and some people just don't know how to handle people who, on the surface, look different. There are plenty of us who can see beyond the disability and just see you as you.

I'll tell you a quick story. A guy broke a big rule in our club..well several in one go actually. I asked him to get dressed and leave, like I do with everybody who thinks they are above the rules. He got right up in my face and said 'you can't do that, I'm disabled; you are discriminating against me because I walk with sticks'. After my initial shock, I said, 'No actually. Sticks or not, you broke the rules. You want equality, well it works both ways..oh and don't pull the disability card, because I am also disabled, you just can't see mine, now get your kecks on and leave'! lol He had been caught taking drugs, groping a guy (!) and tried to force himself into play, all within 5 minutes!!! haha The joys of running a club..thankfully this is rare

Good luck anyway xxxx"

Well said xxx

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By *peedypeteMan
over a year ago

derby

I went to Chams with a friend and we met another couple and the lady ahd an artificial leg after a riding accident. We had a great time, she was lovely and great fun too.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I've seen people walking with sticks and in wheelchairs at Kestrels. It didn't seem to make any difference to how they were perceived by the other club goers.

My wife's first lover after we opened up our marriage was physically disabled, but it certainly didn't affect his performance at all.

The swinging world seems to attract all sorts of people....all shapes, sizes, colours, backgrounds and yes...disabled people. While there may be a handful of people who don't see beyond your disability, they are highly likely to be a small minority.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I was wondering this also. As a sufferer of epilepsy I was hoping people could give me resurrance that I would be ok in aclub and that it wouldn't stop people wanting me to play

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest, but I imagine there are people it would, unfortunately seizures scare some people fortunately mine are absence seizures so normally I'm OK but always better to check

At the risk of sounding silly, what is an absence seizure? And what does one do for a person having an absence seizure?

The best way to describe it is a loss of consciousness, you go blank, they don't usually last long, some people don't even notice them. I'd just check someone was okay after an absence seizure, normally not much more you can do x"

Thanks for the explanation

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Wouldn't worry me at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having just read this post my faith in the human race has just been restored. It is positive pro active informative encouraging and so honest. To all people who contributed 10 out of 10 the spirit of humanity shines through .

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

I don't mean to sound off or as if it's a fetish but any one who I diffrent I am drawn to just to find out about them and see what kind of life they have. from tattoos and percings people from diffrent country's

Abilities I just like to learn about others that don't live the same boring old life

And as always if we was all the same how boring would that be lol

But with clubs I have been to have had people with lots of disabilities and such and NEVER seen it be a problem

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By *iamonddave84Man
over a year ago

Hereford

Was considering changing my profile back and not mentioning my disability but after reading this I will keep it as it is

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By *ollipop77Couple
over a year ago

Dubai ( / Manchester)

I have seen people in clubs with prosthetic legs, others with a stick.

This would not stop me playing with them as long as there was an attraction x

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By *iamonddave84Man
over a year ago

Hereford


"I have seen people in clubs with prosthetic legs, others with a stick.

This would not stop me playing with them as long as there was an attraction x"
thanks for your kind words

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

It doesn't bother me at all...I have played with disabled swingers.

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By *ph1977Man
over a year ago

Lincoln


"In itself it shouldn't be an issue...but as others have said, access can be for some. Though I have seen someone in a wheelchair in Xtasia a while back and they have plenty stairs.

There is level access through the Fire escape/smoking area route tho...."

access to the main area at Xtasia is level round the back through the smoking area even though you have to go up nd back down inside from the main entrance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sticks or floppy arm,

I wouldn't be bothered

Bring it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our biggest crush on the whole of FAB has a disability!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vanilla Alternative is disability friendly. Don't see why it would make a lot of difference. There are people for everyone and none of us is right for everyone.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

My wife's first lover has cerebral palsy. It affects his walking and to some extent his coordination.

But he was a damned good lover, and we had some great MMF threesomes together as well as the wife seeing him one-on-one.

We are both still friends with the guy, but no longer play as he's in a monogamous marriage.

There's certainly space for disabled swingers.

My long term girlfriend has learning disabilities...hasn't stopped her finding fun on Fab and at swingers clubs.

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By *iamonddave84Man
over a year ago

Hereford


"My wife's first lover has cerebral palsy. It affects his walking and to some extent his coordination.

But he was a damned good lover, and we had some great MMF threesomes together as well as the wife seeing him one-on-one.

We are both still friends with the guy, but no longer play as he's in a monogamous marriage.

There's certainly space for disabled swingers.

My long term girlfriend has learning disabilities...hasn't stopped her finding fun on Fab and at swingers clubs."
sounds like your wife's lover has the same condition as myself

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By *ojo1964Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I've read your comments with great interest, I suffer Cerebral Palsy and I have problems with meets, clubs are virtually "no go areas," due to the lack of wheelchair facilities. I write to ladies yet 99.9% of the time I get no reply, even if I send a picture which in theory should get me a reply.

I've looked at my profile and I think its to the point but funny. Even my messages are funny too. I always make the point that if the person has any questions they have the opportunity to ask me anything because honest is the best policy, I think or maybe I'm wrong? I don't know but I'm sure get frustrated.

Please I invite anyone take a look at my profile and advise me if it can be improved in any way or just general advice would be great. I look forward to reading your comments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck no, maid , tart secretary id be your bitch regardless

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton


"I've read your comments with great interest, I suffer Cerebral Palsy and I have problems with meets, clubs are virtually "no go areas," due to the lack of wheelchair facilities. I write to ladies yet 99.9% of the time I get no reply, even if I send a picture which in theory should get me a reply.

"

The vast majority of able-bodied single guys have a similar the same experience.

I would say that most guys will write at least 40-50 messages for each reply. Sending a picture is no guarantee of a response, and ranty statuses are a huge turn-off and red flag to most ladies.

I can only speak for the clubs I've been to, and I've seen people in wheelchairs at Kestrels. As far as I can tell, as a non-wheeled person, I think they have done a good job of putting in little ramps where most of the steps are and a wide boardwalk between outdoor areas. I doubt it's perfect but people in wheelchairs do attend.

Jaydees would be accessible on the ground floor only, and only (unfeasible) installation of a lift would make the 1st floor available.

Where I've seen disabled swingers, from what I can tell they are treated just the same as everyone else. That includes people in chairs, people on crutches, people with missing limbs, people with learning disabilities.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area


"I've read your comments with great interest, I suffer Cerebral Palsy and I have problems with meets, clubs are virtually "no go areas," due to the lack of wheelchair facilities. I write to ladies yet 99.9% of the time I get no reply, even if I send a picture which in theory should get me a reply.

I've looked at my profile and I think its to the point but funny. Even my messages are funny too. I always make the point that if the person has any questions they have the opportunity to ask me anything because honest is the best policy, I think or maybe I'm wrong? I don't know but I'm sure get frustrated.

Please I invite anyone take a look at my profile and advise me if it can be improved in any way or just general advice would be great. I look forward to reading your comments."

OK. Here is my opinion of your profile....

Your profile picture is of a pleasant face. Your other pic is a guy in bed with bigger boobs than me. I would try and get some better body shots, try different angles.

Your profile is amusing, but it is a list of funny sayings, that anyone can copy and paste from somewhere. It brought a smile to my face, but then the tone changes. The rest doesn't show your personality.

I think you dwell on your disability a little and don't talk about other stuff. You need to mention you are in a wheelchair, but it is just your legs that don't work would suffice.

Maybe put in about being clean, smell nice, safe sex. What you like, what you are looking for, what you excellent in. Just give people more information about you.....not that you arrive on wheels.

Have a read of successful forum users profile and get some ideas there.

Hope that helps

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By *eforfuncplCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

Seen quite a few people with disabilities in clubs and thought nothing of it x brave and normal as we all like to have fun don't we....... x you go for it xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

Im Geoff 59 from the Cheshire area of the UK,im disabled with MS.I was a active Swinger up to 5 years ago and my confidence has took a knock now but im still a person even though my body is packing in.

I would love to meet a sympathetic lady for friendship and maybe sex if my body can still do it.Im very easy going with a wicked soh,i enjoy good conversation and im a smoker.I also enjoy watching and enjoy giving oral for both male and females I can accomm during the day xx

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By *rs Myvanwy Scarlet-BlackTV/TS
over a year ago

hot wife

I'm disabled and people treat me just the same as anyone else in a club it's never bothered me and I know it doesn't bother other people either

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By *bsalute charmerMan
3 days ago

chester

Not all disabilities are chair stick learning issues

Not had a meet in 6 years now even without saying I have a stoma

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By *uffnmuffCouple
3 days ago

London


"Hi, Is being disabled a big deal? so conscious about attending a club, Been to a few but feel the eyes looking at me cos I walk with a stick. I broke my neck some years ago now, after a motorbike accident, a couple of clubs I've been to have been sound but would it stop people wanting to play. Obviously got to be an attraction, would the disabled bit matter??"
no it's not an issues come to a club and enjoy yourself x

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By *adeiteWoman
3 days ago

Stafford

You should be fine

Obviously people will be people and can be dicks but alot of people are disabled and you'd never know.

I'm disabled, but personally never had any issues.

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By *orny PTMan
3 days ago

Peterborough

Speak to the club or venue in question as stairs can be a problem, with clubs like Chams or the Townhouse. The Attic in Derby is mainly ground floor.

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