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"R club caps how many single guys we let in and we have three playrooms with lockable doors and a dungeon" (Him) Sounds exactly what we are after. We're not prudes and not divas either (I'm no oil painting) but I do have a short temper and scared of any repercussions from pests. Thank you for your reply, we really do appreciate it x | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home " Thanks everyone. And the temper isn't really an issue but I've read some stories on here regarding pushy men and some couples leaving clubs because of it, I'd find that sort of behaviour difficult to tolerate. | |||
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"Most clubs have couples only nights to avoid single gents " I have seen this advertised from a lot of venues and does appeal | |||
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"You could go to Pleasures or if you fancy a pool and hot tubs then Abfabs on a Saturday night is couples and single ladies only. Plenty of private rooms if required." Noted - thank you | |||
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"R club caps how many single guys we let in and we have three playrooms with lockable doors and a dungeon (Him) Sounds exactly what we are after. We're not prudes and not divas either (I'm no oil painting) but I do have a short temper and scared of any repercussions from pests. Thank you for your reply, we really do appreciate it x" We can totally understand where you are coming from. We've been swinging over 10 years but we're only just taking the plunge in going to a club. Just remember that the forums are going to be about ranting/whinging, so negativity spreads. We suggest trying the club review section of fab, it's separate from the forums. | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home " (Him again lol) The temper is nothing scary, just being a bloke, I know what some blokes are like when wanting to get their rocks off. It'll be amusing at first but if the pestering continues, I'm quite vocal and scared that I'll end up causing a scene I'm not a violent man but cannot and will not tolerate bad manners. So old skool and hate it | |||
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"Mingles in Colchester only allow a maximum of 5 single men in, and it's a very friendly social club too. No pressure on anyone, all guests are respectful and above all... FUN to be around " Jeez, how lucky are those five men? Are they employees? | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home (Him again lol) The temper is nothing scary, just being a bloke, I know what some blokes are like when wanting to get their rocks off. It'll be amusing at first but if the pestering continues, I'm quite vocal and scared that I'll end up causing a scene I'm not a violent man but cannot and will not tolerate bad manners. So old skool and hate it " Think about this for a min ... Single woman at a club ... No hubby to back them up .... Think you're imagination is running away with you ... We single women go to clubs alone a lot . A simple no thanks is pretty much all it takes Get more sleaze balls up town on a sat evening | |||
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"R club caps how many single guys we let in and we have three playrooms with lockable doors and a dungeon (Him) Sounds exactly what we are after. We're not prudes and not divas either (I'm no oil painting) but I do have a short temper and scared of any repercussions from pests. Thank you for your reply, we really do appreciate it x We can totally understand where you are coming from. We've been swinging over 10 years but we're only just taking the plunge in going to a club. Just remember that the forums are going to be about ranting/whinging, so negativity spreads. We suggest trying the club review section of fab, it's separate from the forums. " (Him again, grrr hate it explaining that lol) Never a truer word spoken there. Lovely to hear from like minded folk. I just want unbiased opinions. The loons do worry me though lol | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home (Him again lol) The temper is nothing scary, just being a bloke, I know what some blokes are like when wanting to get their rocks off. It'll be amusing at first but if the pestering continues, I'm quite vocal and scared that I'll end up causing a scene I'm not a violent man but cannot and will not tolerate bad manners. So old skool and hate it Think about this for a min ... Single woman at a club ... No hubby to back them up .... Think you're imagination is running away with you ... We single women go to clubs alone a lot . A simple no thanks is pretty much all it takes Get more sleaze balls up town on a sat evening " | |||
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"Mingles in Colchester only allow a maximum of 5 single men in, and it's a very friendly social club too. No pressure on anyone, all guests are respectful and above all... FUN to be around Jeez, how lucky are those five men? Are they employees?" Its a small club, maximum capacity is around 60 people, so 5 singles is plenty.... there are lots of couples and a few single females that go too. | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home (Him again lol) The temper is nothing scary, just being a bloke, I know what some blokes are like when wanting to get their rocks off. It'll be amusing at first but if the pestering continues, I'm quite vocal and scared that I'll end up causing a scene I'm not a violent man but cannot and will not tolerate bad manners. So old skool and hate it " Stick to private meets. Clubs don't need intolerance. Just like in life there is good and bad and if you can't cope with that, don't go. | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home (Him again lol) The temper is nothing scary, just being a bloke, I know what some blokes are like when wanting to get their rocks off. It'll be amusing at first but if the pestering continues, I'm quite vocal and scared that I'll end up causing a scene I'm not a violent man but cannot and will not tolerate bad manners. So old skool and hate it Stick to private meets. Clubs don't need intolerance. Just like in life there is good and bad and if you can't cope with that, don't go." I don't think anyone should have to 'cope' with pushy people, my main objective was to get some recommendations of places where that sort of behaviour isn't the norm or tolerated by the club. As I said, going to a club would be a first for us, I'm sure pushy people are in the minority but it's helpful for us to get some recommendations for suitable clubs where that behaviour isn't commonplace. | |||
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"Yep, what they said. You'd get thrown out if you're in an altercation. You just need to politely point out you're not wanting the attention. eg, "thanks for your interest but not tonight". " That's exactly what I would want to avoid, of course we would politely decline unwanted interest. I just wouldn't want a venue where the clientele can get away with being a pest. | |||
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"Cant mrs speak for herself? Were in the year 2016 not the caveman age " Indeed. The ONLY times we have ever seen "trouble" in any Club it has come about from a guy kicking off because things didn't go the way that he wanted and was not able to cope with it. Shit happens and fortunately the vast overwhelmingly majority of swinging singles and couples deal with it. But there is invariably one guy who just can't cope and embarrasses himself and his wife/girlfriend. | |||
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"Cant mrs speak for herself? Were in the year 2016 not the caveman age " She most definitely can. Your point being? | |||
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"Cant mrs speak for herself? Were in the year 2016 not the caveman age She most definitely can. Your point being? " Let her deal with the pushy guys then. Better coming from her then the short tempered other half | |||
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"Cant mrs speak for herself? Were in the year 2016 not the caveman age She most definitely can. Your point being? Let her deal with the pushy guys then. Better coming from her then the short tempered other half " She wouldn't have any problem in declining people but IF they were to become a pest or get pushy etc I wouldn't stand by and leave her to deal with them! Ideally we're interested in clubs where this isn't likely to happen. My post seems to have become misconstrued, my original post was for recommendations for clubs suitable for what we're looking for, if some of you are happy to be hassled by others then that's great but it would put a dampener on our evening and probably deter us from going to a club again. | |||
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"no means no anywhere and if people pester you any decent club will have words with the offenders and will chuck them out - " | |||
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"Think some people are getting this twisted. I think what the OP is saying is that he wouldn't get all physical or cause a scene, but would be very direct and vocal if someone was being a nuisance or pestering after a polite declination. Nor would he stand back and let his Mrs deal with it without saying anything if she wasn't having any success, as I'm sure most would appreciate I can relate to this, as I (Mr) am very much the same, and have been in clubs, without causing any issues. OP, I think what ClitEastwood was trying to get across is in such situations, which in our experience is incredibly incredibly rare, ( infact never happened to us, but we know it can happen, ) is that often, the best and most accepted declination is from the lady when dealing with a male who is a little over zealous. " (Him) Exactly that | |||
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"no means no anywhere and if people pester you any decent club will have words with the offenders and will chuck them out - " (Him) That's the reassurance I'm after from any club | |||
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"(Him here) We are toying with the idea of a club. Never been to one before but have experience of FFM. We are willing to travel for the right club but depends on 'honest' reviews from you guys. We are not desperate to jump in bed with anyone, so we really want to know about which clubs to avoid due to single male pests and lack of private rooms. We are very sociable and fun loving people but don't want to end up leaving early due to sex pests. Your input would be much appreciated x" Inboxed you | |||
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"Can I just throw something radical out there?! lol From a club owner who knows what she's talking about?! Actually most decent clubs have their single guy policies sorted and most guys are so petrified of stepping across the line, that they are good as gold... (note 'decent clubs') We have found that we get more 'problems' from single ladies and couples, especially if they have been drinking. There are quite a lot of divas out there who love the opportunity to give it both barrels, screaming 'inappropriate touching' to a poor guy who has brushed past her! Couples where the guy is over protective and eyeballs a poor guy who dared to look in the direction of his partner, when actually he was looking just past her at the porn on the TV behind them! Just choose you club carefully, have a bit of give and take, understand that you are in a sexually charged atmosphere and tensions are heightened anyway at times." (Caveman again ) You've hit the nail right on the head. I don't like ripples in the water, never have done. It is rather daunting but reassurance from others definitely helps. We're probably being over cautious but hey, just want it to be memorable for the right reasons. Thank you so much and you never know, we may be seeing you all real soon. Take care! | |||
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"You can always tell the good clubs. From the reviews. Just check it's not the same people doing the same old reviews. The status updates are the best indicator to where the parties at. It's true that there are usually more problems from couples / single women than single men. Take your time looking at the reviews and the age of the posters. Some clubs cater for different people. Some clubs won't let some groups in. Not every club is everyone cup of tea so take your time and good luck. " (Him) It's a minefield out there. I suppose a little more homework and some trial and error and we might just crack it lol. If clubs are full of understanding people like yourselves then I think we'll be fine. So refreshing and reassuring to know. Being grown adults and yet being nervous just seems daft but I'm sure we'll conquer it together. Thank you and take care. | |||
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"Our advice is. First time go. Have a drink. Jacuzzi sauna. Watch someone else. Then go home. And most importantly stick to what you agreed first. Plenty more nights ahead. Even bad clubs can be a laugh. You always remember the good plays and the bad ones. .... Never the ok ones. In hindsight the bad ones become part of your story And we've had some right bad ones ... There now funny and we always talk about them and wouldn't change them. " (Him, still lol) This makes perfect sense. You're quite right. No point rushing it. We're really looking forward to it, just need to agree a time and a place now. We may see you in a club sometime in the future Take care | |||
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"Can I just throw something radical out there?! lol From a club owner who knows what she's talking about?! Actually most decent clubs have their single guy policies sorted and most guys are so petrified of stepping across the line, that they are good as gold... (note 'decent clubs') We have found that we get more 'problems' from single ladies and couples, especially if they have been drinking. There are quite a lot of divas out there who love the opportunity to give it both barrels, screaming 'inappropriate touching' to a poor guy who has brushed past her! Couples where the guy is over protective and eyeballs a poor guy who dared to look in the direction of his partner, when actually he was looking just past her at the porn on the TV behind them! Just choose you club carefully, have a bit of give and take, understand that you are in a sexually charged atmosphere and tensions are heightened anyway at times." Never a truer statement said as ex club hosts we would concur with all of the above xx | |||
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"Can I just throw something radical out there?! lol From a club owner who knows what she's talking about?! Actually most decent clubs have their single guy policies sorted and most guys are so petrified of stepping across the line, that they are good as gold... (note 'decent clubs') We have found that we get more 'problems' from single ladies and couples, especially if they have been drinking. There are quite a lot of divas out there who love the opportunity to give it both barrels, screaming 'inappropriate touching' to a poor guy who has brushed past her! Couples where the guy is over protective and eyeballs a poor guy who dared to look in the direction of his partner, when actually he was looking just past her at the porn on the TV behind them! Just choose you club carefully, have a bit of give and take, understand that you are in a sexually charged atmosphere and tensions are heightened anyway at times." Totally agree. I have been going to clubs for 6 years and have never had a bad experience with pushy guys. Most are so well behaved that they almost seem worried about saying hello never mind waving their cock in my face. But should you come across a man who isn't quite upto speed with club etiquette leave it to your Mrs to tell him no, I have seen the male half of the couple get the wrong idea and over react quite strongly to some perceived wrong doing. All she needs is a polite but firm no thank you, but I have never had to resort to anything other than a smile and shake of my head whilst saying no thanks. | |||
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"Kinda weird that people join this site knowing what it's all about and complain when guys are pestering them for sex on a fucking sex site how dare they " And here comes one of the 'expectant' ones..... | |||
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"Kinda weird that people join this site knowing what it's all about and complain when guys are pestering them for sex on a fucking sex site how dare they " (Him) I'm assuming this is a sarcastic, tongue in cheek joke. I could be wrong though. Very difficult to judge | |||
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"Kinda weird that people join this site knowing what it's all about and complain when guys are pestering them for sex on a fucking sex site how dare they " No one should expect to be "pestered" or stand for it either. Though clearly you think it's OK to do so? | |||
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"Kinda weird that people join this site knowing what it's all about and complain when guys are pestering them for sex on a fucking sex site how dare they " The very reason clubs have couples only nights and some limit the number of single men on other nights. | |||
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"Oh come on guys, he's paid his fiver.... someone give him a good fucking! Haha " | |||
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"Kinda weird that people join this site knowing what it's all about and complain when guys are pestering them for sex on a fucking sex site how dare they The very reason clubs have couples only nights and some limit the number of single men on other nights. " | |||
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"Dose makeus laugh if u dont do single guys dont goon there nite simple lol " This would be our preference but It's not just single men, we wouldn't want to play with the male half of a couple either. We're only interested in ladies for the time being. I realise this would totally limit the people who may be interested in us but for now it's our preference and we're in no rush to change that to suit others. Mrs X | |||
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"Dose makeus laugh if u dont do single guys dont goon there nite simple lol This would be our preference but It's not just single men, we wouldn't want to play with the male half of a couple either. We're only interested in ladies for the time being. I realise this would totally limit the people who may be interested in us but for now it's our preference and we're in no rush to change that to suit others. Mrs X " You will find more single ladies on mixed nights when the single guys go primarily because that's what they are looking for | |||
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"Just go on a couples only evening, But a word of advice leave your short temper at home " Yes we agree with that x | |||
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"Can I just throw something radical out there?! lol From a club owner who knows what she's talking about?! Actually most decent clubs have their single guy policies sorted and most guys are so petrified of stepping across the line, that they are good as gold... (note 'decent clubs') We have found that we get more 'problems' from single ladies and couples, especially if they have been drinking. There are quite a lot of divas out there who love the opportunity to give it both barrels, screaming 'inappropriate touching' to a poor guy who has brushed past her! Couples where the guy is over protective and eyeballs a poor guy who dared to look in the direction of his partner, when actually he was looking just past her at the porn on the TV behind them! Just choose you club carefully, have a bit of give and take, understand that you are in a sexually charged atmosphere and tensions are heightened anyway at times." | |||
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"Couples nights don't free of you pests - it just means the pests have to bring a woman with them to get in." This is also true. Oh well, it'll all come down to luck in the end. We shall see... | |||
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"Grow a thicker skin quickly and laugh at it (maybe quietly to yourselves, out loud if needed to deter). We're regulars at Kestrels and most days if you walk as a couple from the pool to the dungeon you can guarantee followers. We call them (no offence guys) the walking dead. They follow en'mass and some couples might even give them a chance if they just learnt a little bit of patience. As it is they'll never get lucky with us and rarely with anyone else. To be fair they don't push it often and if they do a 'no thanks' normally works. " The Walking Dead - Love it Lots of hints and tips in this thread so far, much appreciated x (Mr) | |||
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"Maybe try Bristol Gardens on a couples night. They are amazingly strict outside the playrooms. The staff are constantly walking around. Any naughtiness is strictly in the rest rooms, most of which have locks. " Will look into this one. We want to have fun and safety is quite important, especially due to mingling with highly sexually charged people (as was mentioned prior). I can control my urges, just can't vouch for everyone else. Thanks for the advice x (Mr) | |||
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"Maybe try Bristol Gardens on a couples night. They are amazingly strict outside the playrooms. The staff are constantly walking around. Any naughtiness is strictly in the rest rooms, most of which have locks. " Bristol Gardens and Swinging should not even be mentioned in the same sentence. I am sure that the little strumpet of an owner would not want BGHS to be noted in the list of Seingerd Clubs on Fabswingers. Shame, Neighton deserves a good Club and BGHS is not even a Vlub, let alone a good one. | |||
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"I have read quite a lot of this post and really feel the need to reassure the OP Please do not get ypurselves so worked up into thinking that all single guys are predatory and that they are always touching when uninvited This is NOT the case, and lets face it if it was then all clubs would be closed down or empty Obviously some guys do get over zealous but these really are in the minority You keep referring to your temper and the fact that you don't want any issues to arise so that you don't NEED to challenge anyone If you go out with that frame of mind then i doubt you will enjoy your evening no matter where you go - i have visions of you looking like a mere cat on the look out for any guy to over step the mark Go out and forget about the ''what ifs'' and just enjoy your evening- but remember, the club management are there to help!! If ANY issues arise in ANY club, then it should be reported to the management - and THEY will take the appropriate action I always inform my members that no matter how small you think the matter is, STILL report it as for all you know the perpetrator maybe on their last warning! Use the club review section, do your homework and choose the venue that you feel you will get the most out of Maybe for your first club night you choose a couples only party as this will certainly eliminate any possible issues with Single Guys Remember, there is only you who can manage your expectations, but if you are constantly on the look out for the ''octopus guys'' then you will spend more time scanning the room and looking over your shoulder than actually enjoying yourself There will always be someone who will retell their horror story but if clubs were THAT bad - then i will repeat it again - they would always be EMPTY!!" (Mrs this time ). Thanks for your reply. I think his 'temper' has been blown out of proportion and not a cause for concern, he's not an angry man (or meerkat!) looking out for someone to have a go at in the slightest, he's just concerned that some clubs may not be well-managed IF we were to feel the need to ask them to intervene at all. He/we are not the types to 'kick off' or cause any dramas but equally we're not going to be timid and allow anyone to do anything we're not comfortable with to avoid causing a scene. It's not like we're that amazing that people are going to be pestering us all night anyway . But it has been reassuring to hear from people on here and those who have sent a PM that most clubs don't tolerate 'pests' and we've had some good recommendations. I'm sure once we've been to one our doubts and nerves will subside and hopefully we'll make some nice, like-minded friends in time. Xx | |||
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"Swingers clubs are safer than normal clubs " There was a review floating around about a big, big party night that we also attended at the end of July. The writer identified that the Club and Party could have been in any top quality nightclub, anywhere in the UK but with one big difference... The whole place was infected with a happy bug. No hint of tension or underlying aggression, just hundreds of sexy and half naked people having the time of their lives. I think it is probably due to the fact that swingers are by nature tolerant people and so flirting and dancing with people does not send people off into aggressive rages as sometimes happens in normal clubs. The point being that if the OP is actually genuine the consistent expectation of harassment and problems would mean that they would highly likely find it. | |||
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"Swingers clubs are safer than normal clubs There was a review floating around about a big, big party night that we also attended at the end of July. The writer identified that the Club and Party could have been in any top quality nightclub, anywhere in the UK but with one big difference... The whole place was infected with a happy bug. No hint of tension or underlying aggression, just hundreds of sexy and half naked people having the time of their lives. I think it is probably due to the fact that swingers are by nature tolerant people and so flirting and dancing with people does not send people off into aggressive rages as sometimes happens in normal clubs. The point being that if the OP is actually genuine the consistent expectation of harassment and problems would mean that they would highly likely find it. " Spot on | |||
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"........................ Actually most decent clubs have their single guy policies sorted and most guys are so petrified of stepping across the line, that they are good as gold... (note 'decent clubs') ......................" 100%! If membership of their favoured club is £70-80+ and it`s difficult to get in the first place, no single guy is going to risk losing that. Plus, I believe the good clubs will be talking to each other when it comes to trouble makers, or at least I hope they would be! | |||
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