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WHATS MISSIING FROM CLUBAND

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

all to often these days i am hearing ohhhhhhhhhhhh there isomething missing from clubland but what is the "OHHH its missing" guys what is the missing piece you want and why???????

clubs are trying their hardest to please us all and keep up with our fabtastic fantasy's n desires but yet i keep hearing something is missing but no one is actually saying what it is so clubs can give you what you want in the way u want it

yes i work at a club so i do have invested interest in serious replies but this is me smushy asking as a curious fabster not bar maid thats asking what more can be done to offer you that you think is missing????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

opps missed an L out blame uncle jack lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think there's anything missing but you can't please everyone. Unless it's a perfect fit, it'll feel like something is missing for particular people and that thing won't be the same for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been to a few clubs and what I find is missing (in some clubs) is an area where people can socialise. Some people say the bar area is a social area, but in some clubs the bar is too small, or laid out in a way so it's more difficult, or the music is too loud. Others would say the smoking area, I've only been to one club where I'd stay outside and socialise, this is because they have heating, light, seating and gowns for when you go out there.

What l think works well in a club is having various points around the club where you can stop and talk to people. Whether it be a little sofa/bench or big enough area to stand and chat without being in the way of people walking through.

This is obviously my personal opinion, but from going to a few clubs and seeing what's going on and where.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Poor quality single guys. I don't think single guys should be charged more instead they should auditioned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poor quality single guys. I don't think single guys should be charged more instead they should auditioned. "

Auditioned? Everyone has different tastes, so how would that work. It should work the same for everyone, if that's the case, see some really poor behaviour from couples and fems. But even with "auditions" this wouldn't be prevented. Some clubs request face pics before going, to see if you fit, they're the clubs I avoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What I find lacking sometimes is clearly identifiable staff. If im in trouble I want to know exactly who the staff are and quickly. Obviously in clubs that I frequent I know the staff but in strange clubs it's hard to know who's staff and who are customers. A simple polo shirt or other distinctive clothing would help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What I find lacking sometimes is clearly identifiable staff. If im in trouble I want to know exactly who the staff are and quickly. Obviously in clubs that I frequent I know the staff but in strange clubs it's hard to know who's staff and who are customers. A simple polo shirt or other distinctive clothing would help."

At The No3 Club the male staff wear a black or white polo shirt with the club logo on and everyone that's comes in are always welcomed by Mary or Sian and they are easily identifiable. Though out the night they check all areas to see off all is good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What I find lacking sometimes is clearly identifiable staff. If im in trouble I want to know exactly who the staff are and quickly. Obviously in clubs that I frequent I know the staff but in strange clubs it's hard to know who's staff and who are customers. A simple polo shirt or other distinctive clothing would help."

haha get them one of those big green badges like in ASDA 'happy to help' ... I can just see Jim in Townhouse in one of them!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"all to often these days i am hearing ohhhhhhhhhhhh there isomething missing from clubland but what is the "OHHH its missing" guys what is the missing piece you want and why???????

clubs are trying their hardest to please us all and keep up with our fabtastic fantasy's n desires but yet i keep hearing something is missing but no one is actually saying what it is so clubs can give you what you want in the way u want it

yes i work at a club so i do have invested interest in serious replies but this is me smushy asking as a curious fabster not bar maid thats asking what more can be done to offer you that you think is missing????"

There are clubs in California where you have to submit a sexual health test to become a member and then every year after. Maybe the UK is too small for that kind of niche but if there was a club that did that then we'd choose it over any other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not enough clubs in Dorset.

Not enough "players" at clubs.

Not enough "bdsm" areas.

Not enough week day clubs.

Not enough that start before 10.30pm.

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night."
fully agree with this its one of my biggest bug bears. How come I can go with women every day but my partner has to wait to go with men. I also think sometimes what is lacking is the ability for some people to speak. I get sick of being grunted at and groped a simple hi or do you mind would be nice sometimes. But all in all the clubs I've been too all vary but are all great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night."

This exactly! Everyone should pay the same and everyone should be welcome to bump naughty bits!

Mrs rsc

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By *nSearchOf12Couple
over a year ago

London

@Wasp_Hunter - Yes, exactly that.

I find the restrictive attitude of clubs to male orientation that isn't straight very odd.

I've heard the argument that there should be spaces for people who find sexual interaction between men uncomfortable - but surely the logical conclusion of that line of thought is hyper-niche clubs where only one thing ever takes place.

I (Him) identify as a straight man, in case that's germane in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night."

I agree with this. I've never been to a club and seen a male couple attend. I go to a club that allows TV's to attend whenever and play, but it rarely happens.

The equality bit, I'd imagine, is where clubs will say that it's due to the couple's interest. I've stated numerous times that all can be charged the same amount, just limit the amount entering on the night, it's not something hard to do. Also what gets me are the couple's that complain about there being too many men, yet they chose to attend a night that men are allowed to go. Most of the time the men don't even bother people, they're just doing their own thing, probably too scared to approach people in case they're seen as harassing

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By *r an Mrs xMan
over a year ago

liverpool

We allow anyone and charge tv /ts female prices But in general like it's been said non straight males tend to get neglected xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Poor quality single guys. I don't think single guys should be charged more instead they should auditioned. "

Sounds good. Where do I go ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We allow anyone and charge tv /ts female prices But in general like it's been said non straight males tend to get neglected xx"

What would you charge a female to male crossdresser?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"@Wasp_Hunter - Yes, exactly that.

I find the restrictive attitude of clubs to male orientation that isn't straight very odd.

I've heard the argument that there should be spaces for people who find sexual interaction between men uncomfortable - but surely the logical conclusion of that line of thought is hyper-niche clubs where only one thing ever takes place.

I (Him) identify as a straight man, in case that's germane in any way. "

Personally, I don't think that clubs should make allowances for people who find male/male interaction 'uncomfortable'. We have a perfectly good word for that in the outside world - it's called homophobia.

If I see people in a club playing who I don't want to watch, I simply look the other way. I don't see why people can't do exactly the same. There's no reason to find male/male interaction 'uncomfortable'. It's no different to female/female or male/female - it just has more penises. They're still people at the end of the day. People interacting with other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are clubs in California where you have to submit a sexual health test to become a member and then every year after. Maybe the UK is too small for that kind of niche but if there was a club that did that then we'd choose it over any other. "

So somebody is infected just before their tested, the test will come back clear, they then spend approximately 11 months being infectious and screwing around. Just seems a way of giving false confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not enough clubs in Dorset.

Not enough "players" at clubs.

Not enough "bdsm" areas.

Not enough week day clubs.

Not enough that start before 10.30pm. "

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I went to a huge club in Tampa Florida. The club had two distinct sides one an area where people were clothed (could be as skimpy as you wished but clothed) and alcohol you brought was served.

The other area was the play area and nakedness or near naked was the theme with playrooms. Single guys were only allowed into this area if invited by a couple and that couple had to be responsible for him, he could play with others whilst there but if the couple left then he had to too.

It worked well, there were eleven hundred people there the night I attended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's greedy girl events, why not a greedy guys night(TM)? Fill the place with feisty fuckable men and have the women pay to play.

No wives in boxer shorts, to oversee proceedings as it will be prime beef ....I think I need a cold shower now and a cost on private hire of a club ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I went to a huge club in Tampa Florida. The club had two distinct sides one an area where people were clothed (could be as skimpy as you wished but clothed) and alcohol you brought was served.

The other area was the play area and nakedness or near naked was the theme with playrooms. Single guys were only allowed into this area if invited by a couple and that couple had to be responsible for him, he could play with others whilst there but if the couple left then he had to too.

It worked well, there were eleven hundred people there the night I attended. "

Sounds crap - what about single women who want to play with men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In other news - I love it when I get messages from couples with a bisexual woman in the partnership to tell me that men who like other men should be relegated to gay saunas.

Homophobia is alive and well in the swinging scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are clubs in California where you have to submit a sexual health test to become a member and then every year after. Maybe the UK is too small for that kind of niche but if there was a club that did that then we'd choose it over any other.

So somebody is infected just before their tested, the test will come back clear, they then spend approximately 11 months being infectious and screwing around. Just seems a way of giving false confidence."

False confidence! There's a new one, everyone who isn't an idiot knows the limitations of tests. Still better than no test at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are clubs in California where you have to submit a sexual health test to become a member and then every year after. Maybe the UK is too small for that kind of niche but if there was a club that did that then we'd choose it over any other.

So somebody is infected just before their tested, the test will come back clear, they then spend approximately 11 months being infectious and screwing around. Just seems a way of giving false confidence.

False confidence! There's a new one, everyone who isn't an idiot knows the limitations of tests. Still better than no test at all. "

A once a year test isn't really all that much good for a swinger.

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By *nSearchOf12Couple
over a year ago

London


"@Wasp_Hunter - Yes, exactly that.

I find the restrictive attitude of clubs to male orientation that isn't straight very odd.

I've heard the argument that there should be spaces for people who find sexual interaction between men uncomfortable - but surely the logical conclusion of that line of thought is hyper-niche clubs where only one thing ever takes place.

I (Him) identify as a straight man, in case that's germane in any way.

Personally, I don't think that clubs should make allowances for people who find male/male interaction 'uncomfortable'. We have a perfectly good word for that in the outside world - it's called homophobia.

If I see people in a club playing who I don't want to watch, I simply look the other way. I don't see why people can't do exactly the same. There's no reason to find male/male interaction 'uncomfortable'. It's no different to female/female or male/female - it just has more penises. They're still people at the end of the day. People interacting with other people."

Absolutely agree.

As I said, the logic of "that makes me uncomfortable ergo there must be nights that exclude it" doesn't seem to apply to anything else, so why this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Absolutely agree.

As I said, the logic of "that makes me uncomfortable ergo there must be nights that exclude it" doesn't seem to apply to anything else, so why this? "

I find it as repulsive as saying 'black people shouldn't have sex at a normal swingers night because it makes me uncomfortable'. It's no different.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"

Absolutely agree.

As I said, the logic of "that makes me uncomfortable ergo there must be nights that exclude it" doesn't seem to apply to anything else, so why this?

I find it as repulsive as saying 'black people shouldn't have sex at a normal swingers night because it makes me uncomfortable'. It's no different."

We totally agree with you and are totally comfortable with everyone, whatever their preferences are - they don't have to be the same as ours but so what! Swindon Swingers has an all Inclusive approach and worth checking out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

There are clubs in California where you have to submit a sexual health test to become a member and then every year after. Maybe the UK is too small for that kind of niche but if there was a club that did that then we'd choose it over any other.

So somebody is infected just before their tested, the test will come back clear, they then spend approximately 11 months being infectious and screwing around. Just seems a way of giving false confidence.

False confidence! There's a new one, everyone who isn't an idiot knows the limitations of tests. Still better than no test at all.

A once a year test isn't really all that much good for a swinger."

Estimates are that a quarter of people that are HIV positive aren't aware of it. So false confidence is really the least of our problems. Judging by the attitude of several couples we've spoken to on here towards testing, once a year would be a big step forward.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night."

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene..."

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs...

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs... "

I was leaving politics other than gender issues aside in this...when it comes to non-gender issues I'm slightly less surprised...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs... "

It's not my personal experience on the scene. Perhaps I've just met alot of the 'bad uns'.

But anyway, if 'offline' swingers were so liberal, why do we still need to have a bi night?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs...

It's not my personal experience on the scene. Perhaps I've just met alot of the 'bad uns'.

But anyway, if 'offline' swingers were so liberal, why do we still need to have a bi night?"

To disguise the fact that not many couples will visit a club on a Monday! I've had my share of male bi play in clubs on Saturday nights and never had an issue, over half the bloody men here are 'orally bi' anyway even if their profile doesn't state it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs...

It's not my personal experience on the scene. Perhaps I've just met alot of the 'bad uns'.

But anyway, if 'offline' swingers were so liberal, why do we still need to have a bi night?

To disguise the fact that not many couples will visit a club on a Monday! I've had my share of male bi play in clubs on Saturday nights and never had an issue, over half the bloody men here are 'orally bi' anyway even if their profile doesn't state it "

On the other hand my partner has been called a fag multiple times for suggesting that he would like to play as well as me. Either you've been lucky, or I've been unlucky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs...

It's not my personal experience on the scene. Perhaps I've just met alot of the 'bad uns'.

But anyway, if 'offline' swingers were so liberal, why do we still need to have a bi night?

To disguise the fact that not many couples will visit a club on a Monday! I've had my share of male bi play in clubs on Saturday nights and never had an issue, over half the bloody men here are 'orally bi' anyway even if their profile doesn't state it

On the other hand my partner has been called a fag multiple times for suggesting that he would like to play as well as me. Either you've been lucky, or I've been unlucky."

Bit of both I'd guess. I'm certainly not suggesting that there's none of it going on, just giving our personal experience is all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think, for me, a lack of equality is what's missing. Men treated like paying cutomers, and women like bait.

But more than anything it's the unequal attitudes to sexuality that are a problem. Bisexual men have to have their own special nights so that they don't upset the regular clients. I'd rather see a club make a stand - and if someone got upset about seeing bisexual or gay men together in a club then it's *them* that should be thrown out. Every night should be bi night.

If the forums have taught you anything, shouldn't it be that just because people swing, doesn't mean they are in any way liberal....

When I first started posting, I was shocked at the prevalence of narrow-mindedness on the scene...

I don't think fab represents the scene very well. Firstly, it's free to use. Secondly, a lot of people on fab don't even class themselves as swingers. The club scene is far more liberal than fab in my opinion, although I will admit that religion and politics don't come up much at AbFabs...

It's not my personal experience on the scene. Perhaps I've just met alot of the 'bad uns'.

But anyway, if 'offline' swingers were so liberal, why do we still need to have a bi night?

To disguise the fact that not many couples will visit a club on a Monday! I've had my share of male bi play in clubs on Saturday nights and never had an issue, over half the bloody men here are 'orally bi' anyway even if their profile doesn't state it

On the other hand my partner has been called a fag multiple times for suggesting that he would like to play as well as me. Either you've been lucky, or I've been unlucky."

BTW, did you report it to the club management? If so, how was their response?

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