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Paying but not using facilities

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too

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By *aguarxfsCouple
over a year ago

Fleet

Hey Guys... we use AbFabs in the evening so it my response may not be totally suitable. But we do notice the same thing and on a Friday its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce. Dont get me wrong, there are a lot of respectful ones, but some do feel they've paid their money so are entitled to play with anyone and hang around ready to pounce, see or get some action. Forgetting there is etiquette and has to be a mutual connection/attraction first. We dont use the 'water' facilities, but I dance the pole well because I can so thats my contribution x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey Guys... we use AbFabs in the evening so it my response may not be totally suitable. But we do notice the same thing and on a Friday its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce. Dont get me wrong, there are a lot of respectful ones, but some do feel they've paid their money so are entitled to play with anyone and hang around ready to pounce, see or get some action. Forgetting there is etiquette and has to be a mutual connection/attraction first. We dont use the 'water' facilities, but I dance the pole well because I can so thats my contribution x"

Kinda what I meant lol. But as you say you go in the evening so makes sense not to use the water facilities. But during the day that's all there really is apart from the dungeon but why a single guy would want to pay £40 just to walk around hoping to catch a glimps of action just seems a waste of money to me.

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By *aguarxfsCouple
over a year ago

Fleet


"Kinda what I meant lol. But as you say you go in the evening so makes sense not to use the water facilities. But during the day that's all there really is apart from the dungeon but why a single guy would want to pay £40 just to walk around hoping to catch a glimps of action just seems a waste of money to me. "

Yeah, would have to agree, but I guess and its only a guess, they like to voyeur or hope to be invited to join in on any action. My thoughts are that many might be married and their wives are unaware of their going, but the daytime is the ultimate time for them with no suspicions from home. We've had a few approach us privately saying this type of thing. Unfortunately, we dont entertain anyone we know is 'cheating' on their wife/partner as that just doesn't do it for us x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/02/16 09:48:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get the day time rail track guys in most clubs. Spot the time they leave and you can tell the wife or kids are due home.

Let them do what they like and you do what you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce."

Okay, so when people post threads about the hoards of zombie-like wanking men following women round clubs as a reason for not going to clubs, why are those comments pretty much universally dismissed?

I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce.

Okay, so when people post threads about the hoards of zombie-like wanking men following women round clubs as a reason for not going to clubs, why are those comments pretty much universally dismissed?

I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring "

It's pretty disconcerting and rather gross. Fortunately it's not something I've experienced often.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce.

Okay, so when people post threads about the hoards of zombie-like wanking men following women round clubs as a reason for not going to clubs, why are those comments pretty much universally dismissed?

I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring "

To be fair it wasn't quite like that and I've not witnessed any behaviour quite like that, and there is always lockable rooms away a from that. I'm just not sure why someone would want to spend £40+ just to walk around hoping for a view. But as someone else said they pay their money and as long as they don't cross any boundaries then let them.

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering

I know the OP is talking in particular about Kestrel Hydro and I have seen the same thing there myself. It also happens at some other clubs.

On the other hand, at my regular club, The Vanilla Alternative, where they have always had an 'open play' format (no lockable play rooms), the limited number of single guys that attend on a Friday night (maximum 10), are generally very respectful and don't follow single ladies or couples as everyone can see everything that goes on anyway. The single guys all make good use of the massive hot tub and generally socialise very well with anyone else in there.

All clubs are different in terms of layout, facilities and the mix of people they attract. Like all things in life, it's really just a case of trying them out and seeing for yourself.

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By *exyFusionCouple
over a year ago

Near to you

I have a an additional take on using the "facilities" as I don't get why people would pay to go to a club and not play with other people! We went to the VA Saturday night with some Fab friends and had a blast playing all together - but we saw zero interaction between other couples, which was really surprising. Apart from our foursome all on one bed having lots of delicious fun, everyone else was in couples only - I don't understand why anyone would pay £45 to only shag each other . . . I get that "enjoying the atmosphere" is nice, but none of them even seemed to be watching other couples (not that we spent the entire night watching what other people were watching, so we may have missed some interaction somewhere). Enjoying another hot couple is so much MORE fun and gives way more bang-for-your-buck

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage


"I have a an additional take on using the "facilities" as I don't get why people would pay to go to a club and not play with other people! We went to the VA Saturday night with some Fab friends and had a blast playing all together - but we saw zero interaction between other couples, which was really surprising. Apart from our foursome all on one bed having lots of delicious fun, everyone else was in couples only - I don't understand why anyone would pay £45 to only shag each other . . . I get that "enjoying the atmosphere" is nice, but none of them even seemed to be watching other couples (not that we spent the entire night watching what other people were watching, so we may have missed some interaction somewhere). Enjoying another hot couple is so much MORE fun and gives way more bang-for-your-buck "

My take on this from my point of view is that i go to clubs to meet just one guy and have no interest in interacting with other couples to play with, im there for my fun not other peoples entertainment.

I also know a fair few swinging couples that enjoy being watched but have no inclination to join in with others.

Everyone has different reasons to attend clubs, not everyone goes for group sex

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By *exyFusionCouple
over a year ago

Near to you


"My take on this from my point of view is that i go to clubs to meet just one guy and have no interest in interacting with other couples to play with, im there for my fun not other peoples entertainment.

I also know a fair few swinging couples that enjoy being watched but have no inclination to join in with others.

Everyone has different reasons to attend clubs, not everyone goes for group sex"

True enough - I guess I should have clarified that I was looking at it from a couples perspective not a single's - although I do understand that there are couples that enjoy being exhibitionists and not interacting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a an additional take on using the "facilities" as I don't get why people would pay to go to a club and not play with other people! We went to the VA Saturday night with some Fab friends and had a blast playing all together - but we saw zero interaction between other couples, which was really surprising. Apart from our foursome all on one bed having lots of delicious fun, everyone else was in couples only - I don't understand why anyone would pay £45 to only shag each other . . . I get that "enjoying the atmosphere" is nice, but none of them even seemed to be watching other couples (not that we spent the entire night watching what other people were watching, so we may have missed some interaction somewhere). Enjoying another hot couple is so much MORE fun and gives way more bang-for-your-buck "

As much as we love playing with other couples, as some nights go there's just no attractions or too many people who play in their little groups making it awkward to chat with people. I also don't see other people as a facility to enjoy.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I guess the general thing here is that people use clubs for al sorts of different reasons and activities, and these may change for individuals/couple from week to week, depending on mood, horniness, attraction, plans, who you are with, etc...No fan of the pied piper men, but as die from that it would seem fair enough for people to go and either play/not play/play sometimes....

It's about choice and respectfulness surely

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

'aside from that' I meant!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I guess the general thing here is that people use clubs for al sorts of different reasons and activities, and these may change for individuals/couple from week to week, depending on mood, horniness, attraction, plans, who you are with, etc...No fan of the pied piper men, but as die from that it would seem fair enough for people to go and either play/not play/play sometimes....

It's about choice and respectfulness surely"

Oh exactly I don't begrudge guys going along I just cannot see the point of going to a spa if your going to walk around gawping and not using facilities. Even if you were hoping to play use the facilities and get talking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce.

Okay, so when people post threads about the hoards of zombie-like wanking men following women round clubs as a reason for not going to clubs, why are those comments pretty much universally dismissed?

I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring "

Because it only happens at some clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too"

Been to Eureka's on a Sunday daytime and witnessed the same thing. The men doing it seem to get nowhere certainly not compared to the men who mingle and interact

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"I guess the general thing here is that people use clubs for al sorts of different reasons and activities, and these may change for individuals/couple from week to week, depending on mood, horniness, attraction, plans, who you are with, etc...No fan of the pied piper men, but as die from that it would seem fair enough for people to go and either play/not play/play sometimes....

It's about choice and respectfulness surely

Oh exactly I don't begrudge guys going along I just cannot see the point of going to a spa if your going to walk around gawping and not using facilities. Even if you were hoping to play use the facilities and get talking. "

Yes I did mean to add that...getting in jacuzzi etc and chatting is all good and more likely to result in a ice experience all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the actual issue? Are these guys hurting anyone? They pay their money and they can walk around or even just stand in a corner if that's what they want to do.

Watching people fuck in real life is not the same as porn on a screen.

I never use the pool, jacuzzi or sauna in clubs. I like to wander around and watch. I may play with someone or I might not. I didn't realise this was against swinging club rules. Or maybe those rules are only for men.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What's the actual issue? Are these guys hurting anyone? They pay their money and they can walk around or even just stand in a corner if that's what they want to do.

Watching people fuck in real life is not the same as porn on a screen.

I never use the pool, jacuzzi or sauna in clubs. I like to wander around and watch. I may play with someone or I might not. I didn't realise this was against swinging club rules. Or maybe those rules are only for men. "

What people do in a swingers club is up to them I agree. My initial point is would you pay to go to a spa and not use the spa? There is no issues and there is no rule that says they should or shouldn't play.

I know I wouldn't pay for an all inclusion be holiday and not use the facilities on site.

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By *ere to please321Man
over a year ago

lincolshire

Main reason I have not tried a club don't want ti be branded with this kind of crap like saying why pay to watch motorsport at the track when it's free on the TV

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Main reason I have not tried a club don't want ti be branded with this kind of crap like saying why pay to watch motorsport at the track when it's free on the TV "

Going to a club and not playing isn't quite the same as what I'm talking about. I may have said why pay when you can watch porn at home. But I mean in a spa environment not a club environment.

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By *heclitmaster84Man
over a year ago

Huddersfield

I go to clubs and I've seen that what your talking about but I ignore them I go to club just to relax and maybe meet people if I don't I go in sauna on tub and have a couple of pints x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's the actual issue? Are these guys hurting anyone? They pay their money and they can walk around or even just stand in a corner if that's what they want to do.

Watching people fuck in real life is not the same as porn on a screen.

I never use the pool, jacuzzi or sauna in clubs. I like to wander around and watch. I may play with someone or I might not. I didn't realise this was against swinging club rules. Or maybe those rules are only for men.

What people do in a swingers club is up to them I agree. My initial point is would you pay to go to a spa and not use the spa? There is no issues and there is no rule that says they should or shouldn't play.

I know I wouldn't pay for an all inclusion be holiday and not use the facilities on site. "

But my point was perhaps they are going to watch and don't care about using the spa facilities. That was all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

But my point was perhaps they are going to watch and don't care about using the spa facilities. That was all. "

Maybe so and yes it's their choice I just think there's got to be cheaper ways than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" My initial point is would you pay to go to a spa and not use the spa? "

Because it is a swing club masquerading as a spa?

If its primary selling point was being a natuarist spa it wouldn't have a dungeon, all the remarkably large beds etc.

Most of these men do not want to f**k, offer them the chance and watch them run away. They just want to watch a live sex act and wank or fondle a real woman and then wank later.

Their inflated admission fees keep the cost of the facilities you use down, be grateful, without them you'd be paying significantly more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a an additional take on using the "facilities" as I don't get why people would pay to go to a club and not play with other people! We went to the VA Saturday night with some Fab friends and had a blast playing all together - but we saw zero interaction between other couples, which was really surprising. Apart from our foursome all on one bed having lots of delicious fun, everyone else was in couples only - I don't understand why anyone would pay £45 to only shag each other . . . I get that "enjoying the atmosphere" is nice, but none of them even seemed to be watching other couples (not that we spent the entire night watching what other people were watching, so we may have missed some interaction somewhere). Enjoying another hot couple is so much MORE fun and gives way more bang-for-your-buck "

We've been to clubs and only played with each other because there was nobody there that we both wanted to fuck...We don't feel as though we haven't got good value for our money because we haven't...

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By *werty38Man
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I was thinking the same thing last friday at a well known club in the midlands. I along with two other guys were sat in the Jacuzi and we counted 25 single guys walk down the little coridor poke their head around the corner and then walk off ! The Jacuzzi is the only thing down this little coridor..... So why walk down if you didn't want to use it ! Funny though as soon as a couple got in everyone who peered around the corner got in !!! Funny that.

I have been a member of this club for 16 years and the sheep problem seems to the worst I have ever seen it. In answer to the origanal question... I would not pay to go to a club and not use the facilities. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a an additional take on using the "facilities" as I don't get why people would pay to go to a club and not play with other people! We went to the VA Saturday night with some Fab friends and had a blast playing all together - but we saw zero interaction between other couples, which was really surprising. Apart from our foursome all on one bed having lots of delicious fun, everyone else was in couples only - I don't understand why anyone would pay £45 to only shag each other . . . I get that "enjoying the atmosphere" is nice, but none of them even seemed to be watching other couples (not that we spent the entire night watching what other people were watching, so we may have missed some interaction somewhere). Enjoying another hot couple is so much MORE fun and gives way more bang-for-your-buck "

We often go to Chams and only play with each other and in a locked private room.

There are various reasons, one of which is that we look for very specific play so sometimes we don't get it. Sometimes there is no one there we like and vice versa.

Also sometimes we simply just want to chill out and play with each other in a relaxed place. We live in a very busy household with our children coming and going all the time and very little privacy for us as a couple so going Chams and relaxing in the jacuzzi and playing in private is great fun

Someone here in Fab suggested we might aswell just book a hotel but we like the jacuzzis and the atmosphere at Chams too.

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too"

Its because they don't want other people to see their willies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too"
They see your fanny as the facilities

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Its because they don't want other people to see their willies

"

Nah can't be that as they stand around wanking.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol


"its like the Pied Piper with a trail of single guys following you (as a couple) wherever you go and just invading your personal space ready to pounce.

Okay, so when people post threads about the hoards of zombie-like wanking men following women round clubs as a reason for not going to clubs, why are those comments pretty much universally dismissed?

I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring "

It's not something I've ever experienced either. I've only been to clubs a couple of times, mind you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to La Chambre on Friday and were enjoying the pool when we noticed cum floating around in the water - safe to say it's put us off any other water facilities at clubs!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a golf club membership which I pay approximately £100 a month for.

This also gets me entry to the gym jacuzzi and sauna none of which I have used in my five years as a member.

Don't get me wrong it would be cheaper just to go and hit balls in a field but it wouldn't be the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't "

Hardly straight is it if you only read some of the posts.

And no that's not what I said was it, I said I cannot get my head around why someone would waste their money.

As for the golf analogy do you play golf at the club? If so then your using the facility aren't you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Hardly straight is it if you only read some of the posts.

And no that's not what I said was it, I said I cannot get my head around why someone would waste their money.

As for the golf analogy do you play golf at the club? If so then your using the facility aren't you "

No I am only using part of the facility that I am paying for

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Hardly straight is it if you only read some of the posts.

And no that's not what I said was it, I said I cannot get my head around why someone would waste their money.

As for the golf analogy do you play golf at the club? If so then your using the facility aren't you

No I am only using part of the facility that I am paying for "

But still using the facility ie playing golf not walking around the course just looking at others playing the game while swinging your club frantically.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Hardly straight is it if you only read some of the posts.

And no that's not what I said was it, I said I cannot get my head around why someone would waste their money.

As for the golf analogy do you play golf at the club? If so then your using the facility aren't you

No I am only using part of the facility that I am paying for

But still using the facility ie playing golf not walking around the course just looking at others playing the game while swinging your club frantically. "

Lol sometimes I do just go up for a drink and chat with friends but no frantic swinging.

If there was people doing that I wouldnt keep going back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Hardly straight is it if you only read some of the posts.

And no that's not what I said was it, I said I cannot get my head around why someone would waste their money.

As for the golf analogy do you play golf at the club? If so then your using the facility aren't you

No I am only using part of the facility that I am paying for

But still using the facility ie playing golf not walking around the course just looking at others playing the game while swinging your club frantically.

Lol sometimes I do just go up for a drink and chat with friends but no frantic swinging.

If there was people doing that I wouldnt keep going back."

Lol I don't suppose you would but then that how it sometimes feels with the guys who do go to clubs to walk around doing nothing but wanking. But this thread isn't a dig at anyone just a question as to why?

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I would absolutely hate to go to a club with a lady and have sweaty fat blokes jacking off while staring "

Who says it's sweaty fat blokes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this thread has really put me off going to a club. I think I'd feel like an alien in one of these places lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Kinda what I meant lol. But as you say you go in the evening so makes sense not to use the water facilities. But during the day that's all there really is apart from the dungeon but why a single guy would want to pay £40 just to walk around hoping to catch a glimps of action just seems a waste of money to me.

Yeah, would have to agree, but I guess and its only a guess, they like to voyeur or hope to be invited to join in on any action. My thoughts are that many might be married and their wives are unaware of their going, but the daytime is the ultimate time for them with no suspicions from home. We've had a few approach us privately saying this type of thing. Unfortunately, we dont entertain anyone we know is 'cheating' on their wife/partner as that just doesn't do it for us x"

Could this be said of many of the "single" guys here too? The ones who are currently being complained about in another thread for not showing up or backing out suddenly?

Surely you, like me, with my tongue in cheek, are just speculating?

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By *oodlandCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Why not just select the clubs that limits single men or attend nights where single men aren't invited in? From our little experience on here, there are far too many single men thinking that they are entitled to have sex, there lies the problem. Little understanding between a knocking shop and swingers venue.

Please note that this is our observation and am certainly not saying that every single fella falls into that category or behave in such a manner.

Even us newbies were able to find a place that met with our requirements. Even the Zombie wankers are entitled to spend their earned money as they wish. It is your choice to be there or not....

just my 2 pence

ps As for the comment by Steed99, there certainly is no zombie wankers following any couple around on a Saturday night!

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"What's the actual issue? Are these guys hurting anyone? They pay their money and they can walk around or even just stand in a corner if that's what they want to do.

Watching people fuck in real life is not the same as porn on a screen.

I never use the pool, jacuzzi or sauna in clubs. I like to wander around and watch. I may play with someone or I might not. I didn't realise this was against swinging club rules. Or maybe those rules are only for men. "

They don't hurt anyone

There are toss-pot couples, zombies, penguins and peacocks. Each is equally amusing and none is causing any harm. I either watch the show or slip away with someone I fancy

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

its like that at op4f on a Sunday, but I think thats how the enviroment was designed to be like.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Reading this thread has really put me off going to a club. I think I'd feel like an alien in one of these places lol"

Again I say it's not a dig at any single guys as such it's more of a question of why pay money to go somewhere and not use the facilities? Would you go to a theme park and watch others go one the rides and not go on yourself?

And clubs really aren't that bad but if you choose to be put off than that's up to you.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"I have a golf club membership which I pay approximately £100 a month for.

This also gets me entry to the gym jacuzzi and sauna none of which I have used in my five years as a member.

Don't get me wrong it would be cheaper just to go and hit balls in a field but it wouldn't be the same."

so you pay for the brand then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Reading this thread has really put me off going to a club. I think I'd feel like an alien in one of these places lol

Again I say it's not a dig at any single guys as such it's more of a question of why pay money to go somewhere and not use the facilities? Would you go to a theme park and watch others go one the rides and not go on yourself?

And clubs really aren't that bad but if you choose to be put off than that's up to you.

"

Maybe these guys are premature ejaculators and would rather get their money's worth and save themselves the embarrassment of cumming straight away too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're assuming all the facilities are of interest. It might just be that these places have the facilities they want for some things but they're not interested in the others. If the gents are there for voyeurism, being chest deep in a bubbly jacuzzi probably isn't what they're attending for.

If you're at a spa hotel, it's likely because you want the spa facilities not the tennis pool. If you're at a swingers club (under some guise) it's likely you're seeking a sexual experience of some sort, not the complementary tea and coffee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plus it might be the only facility they can use due to timing, location etc and those things take priority over finding a venue with solely the facilities you want and no extras

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

"

Not sure how a question means damnned if you do and damnned if you don't but you carry on thinking that if you wish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Not sure how a question means damnned if you do and damnned if you don't but you carry on thinking that if you wish. "

I read it as meaning the thoughts over many different threads, not just yours. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Not sure how a question means damnned if you do and damnned if you don't but you carry on thinking that if you wish.

I read it as meaning the thoughts over many different threads, not just yours. x"

Fair cop. I did mean the original poster of the comment. I know I've done the single guy thing myself hence not wanting to sound or come across as single guy bashing. I know it's sometimes hard to chat to people in clubs and/or get noticed. But I know I hated not getting something for my entrance fee (ie using the facilities) I've never had a sense in entitlement. And if I've managed to play or not I've been happy that I've had a relaxing time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about the cliques who treat the place as a private party? They've paid to go to a club where they know there will be lots of people yet don't talk to them

How bizarre

Tongue in cheek there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What about the cliques who treat the place as a private party? They've paid to go to a club where they know there will be lots of people yet don't talk to them

How bizarre

Tongue in cheek there"

I hear you there, I've been saying it for a while that swinging isn't as it was (at least in london) when I first went Abfab 10 years ago people would say hello and strike up conversations, more playing seemed to happen. As years have gone by I notice it's lots of groups where people only stick to each other and breaking the ice is very difficult indeed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/02/16 08:22:06]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Which is why my partner and I both stopped going to AbFabs. It got difficult chatting to people without them thinking we had some ulterior motive, or they would look bad to their "friends of such higher social class", something we don't experience in any other venue... Including Kestrels ironically

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Which is why my partner and I both stopped going to AbFabs. It got difficult chatting to people without them thinking we had some ulterior motive, or they would look bad to their "friends of such higher social class", something we don't experience in any other venue... Including Kestrels ironically "

I've not seen it that bad to be fair but I suppose the more you go the more you see, we were only attending once a month, and that was only on a Saturday as we prefer couples.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

We don't mind guys watching and we do often invite guys to join in , it's just the instant you start heading to wards a play room . You tend to get guys instantly change direction and start following you . We tend to play with guys who are already in the rooms chatting and having banter , not those who constantly follow you around club without saying hello , smiling or making any eye contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So let me get this straight (having read only some posts):

Go to watch porn: but you can do that at home.

Go for facilities only: why not interact with others?

Interact with others: risk of being barked at, called pushy, or ignored altogether.

Have a wander minding your own: get called zombie wanker.

Put yourself out there, might as well play: how dare you assume entry money entitles you to sex!

Lol, sounds like damned if you do, damned if you don't

Not sure how a question means damnned if you do and damnned if you don't but you carry on thinking that if you wish.

I read it as meaning the thoughts over many different threads, not just yours. x

Fair cop. I did mean the original poster of the comment. I know I've done the single guy thing myself hence not wanting to sound or come across as single guy bashing. I know it's sometimes hard to chat to people in clubs and/or get noticed. But I know I hated not getting something for my entrance fee (ie using the facilities) I've never had a sense in entitlement. And if I've managed to play or not I've been happy that I've had a relaxing time. "

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By *immCouple
over a year ago

Stourport on Severn

Been to Vanilla Alternative 3 times for both Friday and Saturday nights. Not played with anyone but thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. As said before, no kids or distractions . Just us reconnecting. 25th wedding anniversary today. Need time to ourselves, people are there for different reasons. Would like to play with others but are both shy ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too"
the guys pay the ridiculous entry fee not to have a sauna or a swim but because like it or not it is a club where you can potentially have sex ,if they were going for a sauna or swim they would go down the much cheaper sports centre

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too the guys pay the ridiculous entry fee not to have a sauna or a swim but because like it or not it is a club where you can potentially have sex ,if they were going for a sauna or swim they would go down the much cheaper sports centre "

I'd agree with you there but all of the guys doing what I said didn't have sex and probably would never have sex with people because there was no interaction at all not even a polite hello just a quick gawp and walk on. Until we were in a play room then they stayed and watched. And I will add very respectful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too the guys pay the ridiculous entry fee not to have a sauna or a swim but because like it or not it is a club where you can potentially have sex ,if they were going for a sauna or swim they would go down the much cheaper sports centre

I'd agree with you there but all of the guys doing what I said didn't have sex and probably would never have sex with people because there was no interaction at all not even a polite hello just a quick gawp and walk on. Until we were in a play room then they stayed and watched. And I will add very respectful! "
yes but that's down to personality not everyone can walk around half naked or even naked and interact and sometimes if its first visit you don't have a clue what to do ,as a couple you have eachother for support

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too the guys pay the ridiculous entry fee not to have a sauna or a swim but because like it or not it is a club where you can potentially have sex ,if they were going for a sauna or swim they would go down the much cheaper sports centre

I'd agree with you there but all of the guys doing what I said didn't have sex and probably would never have sex with people because there was no interaction at all not even a polite hello just a quick gawp and walk on. Until we were in a play room then they stayed and watched. And I will add very respectful! yes but that's down to personality not everyone can walk around half naked or even naked and interact and sometimes if its first visit you don't have a clue what to do ,as a couple you have eachother for support "

Maybe for some yes. But a good few of these guys have been there before and seemed very comfortable walking around half naked. As I've said before I've done the single guy thing and I'm as shy as they come so know how hard it is. But I've never acted that way ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey its their loss they will realise its money wasted eventually

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By *skentcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Dartford


"Been to Vanilla Alternative 3 times for both Friday and Saturday nights. Not played with anyone but thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. As said before, no kids or distractions . Just us reconnecting. 25th wedding anniversary today. Need time to ourselves, people are there for different reasons. Would like to play with others but are both shy ......"

As a couple we find it difficult to interact with other couples, as we dont want to appear pushy, we may be waiting for an invite to join in. Going to a club with restricted numbers of males (makes mental note!) sounds like a very good idea, single males can be handy when you need an extra pair of hands or two.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"

Again I say it's not a dig at any single guys as such it's more of a question of why pay money to go somewhere and not use the facilities? Would you go to a theme park and watch others go one the rides and not go on yourself?

And clubs really aren't that bad but if you choose to be put off than that's up to you.

"

Actually I would re: theme park. I'm scared of heights so many of the rides scare the crap out of me, but I would go depending the company I was with.

And as for guys feeling unwelcome, some circumstances don't help: a friend of mine got kicked out of AbFabs for being on his own on a Saturday on night, and while I get its an isolated incident it didn't help it was his first visit (full membership plus entry paid) and they wouldn't at least find the lady he came in with when he challenged them to check the list. Turns out in going to the ladies she got chatting to some people and Completely lost track of the time leaving him on his own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Again I say it's not a dig at any single guys as such it's more of a question of why pay money to go somewhere and not use the facilities? Would you go to a theme park and watch others go one the rides and not go on yourself?

And clubs really aren't that bad but if you choose to be put off than that's up to you.

Actually I would re: theme park. I'm scared of heights so many of the rides scare the crap out of me, but I would go depending the company I was with.

And as for guys feeling unwelcome, some circumstances don't help: a friend of mine got kicked out of AbFabs for being on his own on a Saturday on night, and while I get its an isolated incident it didn't help it was his first visit (full membership plus entry paid) and they wouldn't at least find the lady he came in with when he challenged them to check the list. Turns out in going to the ladies she got chatting to some people and Completely lost track of the time leaving him on his own."

That's disgusting!! So she was left on her own? How did she get home? What a crap club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

AbFabs seem to have adopted a real zero-tolerance policy on Saturday nights. I've heard that they've had real problems with guys coming in as part of a couple but spending the night solo, and they've taken the nuclear option in response - if you come in as a couple on a Saturday, you pretty much have to be joined at the hip the whole night or the guy faces being thrown out, no questions asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok first this isn't meant to sound like a single guy bashing thread so if it does sound it or turns into one I apologise.

So me and Lou were at kestrels yesterday and had a very pleasant time, we relaxed and had some fun together with nobody disturbing us or over stepping the boundaries. However during the day I noticed a good few men walking around looking in rooms, walking through the changing rooms and vary rarely leaving the dungeon. At no point did any of these guys use the pool, hot tub or sauna while I understand it's their money and they can do what the feel like once they have paid to get in but surely it'd be cheaper to pay for some porn and wank in private than go to a club and not use the facilities in a hope you get a glimps of people playing.

This happens at other places I've noticed it in BGHS a few times too"

What about those who use the pool and hot tubs but don't use the rooms in the dungeon area, are they not using all the facilities they've paid for either?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 24/02/16 10:49:25]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

He apparently waited for her in the car park, took an Hour before she realised what had happened and came out to find him, she tried to talk him back in but at that point his first experience had been ruined. All because someone saw him on his own and reported him as a Single guy. While I would not call it a crap club, I would say the staff involved on that night handled things the wrong way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He apparently waited for her in the car park, took an Hour before she realised what had happened and came out to find him, she tried to talk him back in but at that point his first experience had been ruined. All because someone saw him on his own and reported him as a Single guy. While I would not call it a crap club, I would say the staff involved on that night handled things the wrong way."

I can't say I blame him, I don't think I could have faced walking back into the club at that point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He apparently waited for her in the car park, took an Hour before she realised what had happened and came out to find him, she tried to talk him back in but at that point his first experience had been ruined. All because someone saw him on his own and reported him as a Single guy. While I would not call it a crap club, I would say the staff involved on that night handled things the wrong way."

Fair comment. Crap staff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

.... it was his first visit (full membership plus entry paid) and they wouldn't at least find the lady he came in with when he challenged them to check the list. Turns out in going to the ladies she got chatting to some people and Completely lost track of the time leaving him on his own."

So they weren't really a couple then but just two people who went in together?

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"So they weren't really a couple then but just two people who went in together? "

If you mean in a relationship/married then no, but that's hardly a crime and the club don't require that so long they get membership together and attend the venue together on said membership. What ired him was the fact it would have taken all of two minutes to confirm his side of the story and that she had not left the club without him as an act together him in.

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