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" Unfortunately there are guys who do lack manners or confidence to instigate conversations (Ie. Those who follow women and couples around) as well as those who fail to differentiate between swingers club and knocking shop ("she's naked, she must be up for it" types). Don't confuse those who lack confidence with those who follow people around or make a nuisance of themselves. I'm one of the lacking confidence group but I've never followed people around or caused a problem." Didn't mean too. I meant that some of those who do follow around do so out of shyness to instigate conversations. Most people at clubs are perfectly nice given the chance. | |||
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"What sort of things should we be watching out for? " Not been in the day, only day times with a fb, so maybe different. I guess a tour is always good - the staff will generally then look out for you, particularly if you ask - and you get a sense what goes on where ie pitch black room versus completely private cabin, with all parts in between. Being definite with the odd male. They're rarely a problem - its usually a case of privacy/personal space. So a fairly loud "not tonight thanks" has always done the trick for us. Finally - find a friendly face to go with who's been before. | |||
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"I prefer to go during the day, I find the people a lot friendlier than in the evening. The majority of men have been bloody lovely, the odd one might touch without asking but they do back off when I say no." ,,,,NO Means NO ![]() | |||
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"I prefer to go during the day, I find the people a lot friendlier than in the evening. The majority of men have been bloody lovely, the odd one might touch without asking but they do back off when I say no.,,,,NO Means NO ![]() Sometimes actions speak louder than words ![]() ![]() | |||
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"What sort of things should we be watching out for? This was top of our list to try but worried what a lack of "manners" might mean. Starting with a couples only night would be a safer option for newbies like us?" It might sound daunting, but AbFabs is absolutely fine. We started on a Monday bi night and it was great, we have been on a Friday single guys and couples night and a Saturday couples only. We prefer Monday, the guys seem more chilled, but we had fun on each night and were not under any pressure. Guys come and say hi or compliment you, but never any pressure. We have found that reaching out to a couple or single guy that you might like, to say you are going, and then meeting them there pays huge dividends! At the very least you have someone to talk to, at best you do a whole lot more... Enjoy ![]() | |||
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"I think single men are generally a pain in any club, IMO... I would never attend a club as a single guy now after seeing what it's like from the eyes of a couple.. Just my opinion, before the wolves attack me lol x" No wolves here! We like nights where there are single guys, so long as they are polite, charming & flirty! ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"it's not always the young single guy who do it either. " Agree - no hard rule as to who. But equally, you get a vibe before they appear quite often so you can often guess. | |||
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"We only play with single guys but we've stopped going to Abfabs on Friday nights because in our experience it's a sausage fest with groups of lairy guys following you about. Yes, you can ask them to stop, and no always means no etc, but it becomes bloody tedious after the 99th time of telling. Not the erotic atmosphere one might hope for. These days we attend clubs that have a policy of limiting the number of single guys on a mixed night. Much more civilised, and much better for the single guys, IMO." AbFabs does limit the number of single men of Fridays, but the limit is quite high. | |||
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"We only play with single guys but we've stopped going to Abfabs on Friday nights because in our experience it's a sausage fest with groups of lairy guys following you about. Yes, you can ask them to stop, and no always means no etc, but it becomes bloody tedious after the 99th time of telling. Not the erotic atmosphere one might hope for. These days we attend clubs that have a policy of limiting the number of single guys on a mixed night. Much more civilised, and much better for the single guys, IMO. AbFabs does limit the number of single men of Fridays, but the limit is quite high." Yes, the management told us once that the numbers of single guys are limited, but after visiting the club on three separate Friday nights we came to the conclusion that the limit either doesn't exist or it's so high it has no impact. Guess it's hard for them to turn away the cash. | |||
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" Yes, the management told us once that the numbers of single guys are limited, but after visiting the club on three separate Friday nights we came to the conclusion that the limit either doesn't exist or it's so high it has no impact. Guess it's hard for them to turn away the cash." It exists, I tried booking for tonight earlier this week and it was already booked solid, I had to go on the reserve list (someone cancelled a couple of days ago, so it's hot tub for me tonight ![]() | |||
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"Reading this has made me really want to go back ![]() You and me both! I understand the thread and the problems..but equally met so many nice people. | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead" Love it! Stealing that. | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead Love it! Stealing that. " I know have a mental image of a horde of stinking monstrosities shambling through the club, arms outstretched, all moaning the same mournful sound. "Booooooobs..." | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead Love it! Stealing that. I know have a mental image of a horde of stinking monstrosities shambling through the club, arms outstretched, all moaning the same mournful sound. "Booooooobs..."" Ever seen the scene on Euro trip with the nudist beach? | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead Love it! Stealing that. I know have a mental image of a horde of stinking monstrosities shambling through the club, arms outstretched, all moaning the same mournful sound. "Booooooobs..." Ever seen the scene on Euro trip with the nudist beach?" No I've not seen Eurotrip | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead Love it! Stealing that. I know have a mental image of a horde of stinking monstrosities shambling through the club, arms outstretched, all moaning the same mournful sound. "Booooooobs..." Ever seen the scene on Euro trip with the nudist beach? No I've not seen Eurotrip" You haven't lived yet ![]() | |||
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"It's like the Wanking Dead Love it! Stealing that. I know have a mental image of a horde of stinking monstrosities shambling through the club, arms outstretched, all moaning the same mournful sound. "Booooooobs..." Ever seen the scene on Euro trip with the nudist beach? No I've not seen Eurotrip You haven't lived yet ![]() Yes, I've been terribly remiss ![]() | |||
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"I prefer to go during the day, I find the people a lot friendlier than in the evening. The majority of men have been bloody lovely, the odd one might touch without asking but they do back off when I say no.,,,,NO Means NO ![]() But "f**k off" is much better ![]() | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are." I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() That's EXACTLY what it feels like. A lot of the time I'll say hello and the only response I get is a glare that screams "How DARE you speak to me". In five hours I only met one couple who were happy to chat - and of course I got their names but not their profile name, and now I can't find them ![]() | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() It's a vicious circle though. Because 15% of the men are badly bahaved but you don't know which 15%, then you become scared to even be polite lest they get glued to you for the rest of the evening. | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() I feel for some single men, it can be a vicious circle at times. Don't talk & watched get accused of being a 'zombie' ~ approach & talk get accused of hassling. ![]() | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() But if you don't encourage the men who do behave better, why would they continue to behave that way? If being polite and sociable gets me treated like just fell out of a dog's arse, why would I keep trying to be polite and sociable? Everyone's very fond of saying that it's couples who have the power in the scene - well, that means they also have the responsibility for setting the tone. | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() ![]() This. So much this. | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() Well, if couples are rude to single men I don't think they can complain if they are rude in return. | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() ![]() Not all of the zombies are zombies; some are penguins ![]() | |||
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"Well, I went tonight for the first time in months and it was same old, same old. With one exception, the couples I said hello to ranged from unfriendly to rude. Seriously, if you want single men to be polite and respectful, you need to give a positive reaction (like being polite back) to the ones who are. I've heard that too, that some couples are rude to single guys who have had the audacity to say hello to them ![]() ![]() Hence why it's a vicious circle! | |||
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"But the coupled are the only ones who can break it. As it stands, I get treated the same regardless of what I do. The only way out of the circle is if guys like me are treated like people and judged according to our own actions, not written off as unworthy of basic respect and decency because we don't have a woman on our arm." I just wish there was a wrist band we could wear that meant: "We enjoy talking to men with good social skills. We like them watching us, Wanking and spunking on us. They can touch her tits but we don't want full swap" What colour would that be? | |||
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"But the coupled are the only ones who can break it. As it stands, I get treated the same regardless of what I do. The only way out of the circle is if guys like me are treated like people and judged according to our own actions, not written off as unworthy of basic respect and decency because we don't have a woman on our arm." Reading your posts it appears that you only want to socialise and more with couples. Have you thought about approaching single women too. They might be more responsive as they too are alone at the club just as you are | |||
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"I haven't seen a woman on her own at a club in at least 18 months, they've always been with at least one other person. I'm sure there have single women at the clubs when I've been there, but they haven't been identifiable as such, and any that I approached when they were in a group have been just as unfriendly as the couples." They generally have longer hair than the men, wear dresses and have different body shapes ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I feel for some single men, it can be a vicious circle at times. Don't talk & watched get accused of being a 'zombie' ~ approach & talk get accused of hassling. ![]() We like being watched, it's just the guys who double back and follow you around, it really is off putting. I've done the single guy thing myself and it is hard, but I've found plenty of couples have been fine. I have however witnessed plenty of single guys being rude to other single guys. I agree that couples can help change this but I also feel it's the clubs and their staff that need to educate singles as to etiquette | |||
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"I tend to go during the day rather than in the evening. I think it's a lot friendlier during the day, I go with a female friend and we chat to people. We invite them to have lunch with us if they're on their own for example. I've met and played with some really nice men after chatting socially with them over a bite to eat or a coffee. " ![]() | |||
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"We've been going on and off for around 6 years and have been at all different times of day and night. It always seems more relaxed during the days with most of the single guys quite happy to chat and relax, similarly it is the same week day evenings. The only night where the "some" of the guys come across as a bit desperate for want of a better word is Friday's. We don't know why that is? To be fair to the guys there are some couples who are quite happy to have lots of guys getting involved without having to chat and all that nonsense. Obviously this isn't for everyone and it stops being fun if you're constantly have to keep an eye out for any random hands or cocks being thrust where they aren't welcome. So guys, assume it isn't welcome until you know for sure otherwise. And if you do see us up there, feel free to say hi and have a chat....you'll have much more chance of a bit of a playtime doing this rather stalking us up and down the club ![]() I always assume it's not welcome, which is why I try to talk to people. | |||
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"We've been going on and off for around 6 years and have been at all different times of day and night. It always seems more relaxed during the days with most of the single guys quite happy to chat and relax, similarly it is the same week day evenings. The only night where the "some" of the guys come across as a bit desperate for want of a better word is Friday's. We don't know why that is? To be fair to the guys there are some couples who are quite happy to have lots of guys getting involved without having to chat and all that nonsense. Obviously this isn't for everyone and it stops being fun if you're constantly have to keep an eye out for any random hands or cocks being thrust where they aren't welcome. So guys, assume it isn't welcome until you know for sure otherwise. And if you do see us up there, feel free to say hi and have a chat....you'll have much more chance of a bit of a playtime doing this rather stalking us up and down the club ![]() I think it's because the Friday night is the club night and some of the attending guys think it's a free for all sex club. Where as a weekday it's more regulars. I've noticed that newbies (Friday nighters) tend not to walk around naked. | |||
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