FabSwingers.com forum: What to do if I'm not interested !

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

Another guy in there sat opposite and got closer and closer, using his feet to touch my feet and legs but I'm not interested so I move my feet and legs away from him and turn away. However he carries in getting closer and touching me. I keep moving away. I would have thought that it was obvious that I'm not interested in playing with him but I didn't want to say in front of others "no thanks" as i worry about humilitating him in front of all the other people in the jacuzzi. I'm to polite these days lol.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly !

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Just smile and say 'I'm just playing with my partner right now.'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a simple can you please stop touching me. If tgat fails a simple but polite f**k off

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think I'm heading for the "f**k off" bit lol.

I don't see how they can not understand when i keep moving away !i don't go as often as i used too so I'm out if practise !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Of*

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I think I'm heading for the "f**k off" bit lol."

If they don't take notice of your original polite dismissal, by all means go for a stronger response.

Don't forget the club staff are there for the more unpleasant encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow what a freak

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think I'm heading for the "f**k off" bit lol.

If they don't take notice of your original polite dismissal, by all means go for a stronger response.

Don't forget the club staff are there for the more unpleasant encounters."

Yes i need to remember to go to the staff if need be

They are very good

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow what a freak

Me ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had similar in the past. One guy still follows us round when he's there to the point we'll get out of the jacuzzi when he gets in. Another who really wouldn't take no for an answer and kept groping Cheryl eventually had his fingers bent back by her rather than her making a scene. Not ideal but unfortunately some guys just really don't listen.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I just say I'm not looking to play right now, or no thanks, or don't touch please.

If this is ignored a more firmer no thanks, in an annoyed tone!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We've had similar in the past. One guy still follows us round when he's there to the point we'll get out of the jacuzzi when he gets in. Another who really wouldn't take no for an answer and kept groping Cheryl eventually had his fingers bent back by her rather than her making a scene. Not ideal but unfortunately some guys just really don't listen."

It's not good is it !

We went more over the summer (when there's no football) and he was there then. Had hoped he would get the messege without me being so blunt although you would have thought that moving away from him would make it clear !

I didn't tell hubby until we got out but i think i will tell him straight away next time !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people need to be told with words that you're not interested

No thanks should be enough in the first instance,fuck off if no thanks doesn't work

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We've only had a situation similar to the OP once before. In the hot tub together when a guy gets in and starts chatting with us. He kept turning the bubbles off so he could see Mrs G under the water, making letchy comments. We laughed it off the first couple of times before asking him to stop, claiming we liked the bubbles on.

Eventually we just got out and went to the sauna to get away from him. He joined us a few mins later and sat right next to Mrs G, up against her thigh and started absently playing with himself. We made our excuses and left to a private room. He then tried to push the door open....

We've since learned to give a firm yet polite 'no thanks' at the first instance of behaviour that we don't like. If it carries on, they get a sharper 'we said NO. Thank you'. So far that's done the trick on the couple of times we've needed to, mostly because others have been around us and they help self-police.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow what a freak

Me ?

Obviously not, the bloke in the jacuzzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow what a freak

Me ?

Obviously not, the bloke in the jacuzzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people need to be told with words that you're not interested

No thanks should be enough in the first instance,fuck off if no thanks doesn't work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The very same thing happened to us in chams, a polite no thanks was all it took.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

You have to remember a few couples/women are happy for a free for all so the men can't tell which is which.

A simple 'no thank you' should be more than enough

If they touch without consent a quick 'how rude' usually stops all but the d*unkest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to get up & move to another place ...usually sends a good message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We've only had a situation similar to the OP once before. In the hot tub together when a guy gets in and starts chatting with us. He kept turning the bubbles off so he could see Mrs G under the water, making letchy comments. We laughed it off the first couple of times before asking him to stop, claiming we liked the bubbles on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow what a freak

Me ?

Obviously not, the bloke in the jacuzzi

Phew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have perfected a look and attitude which tends to keep people at bay unless otherwise invited. Works for me in all areas of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you let strangers, walk up to you in the street and start touching you? ....I doubt it, so why in a club, should it be different. Why should you move? Be polite and use your words!...no point in being shy, some may see it as you're just playing hard to get, after all we're all adults. So why would someone saying "nope, not for me, thanks" be a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who used to work there told me she has a 3 points rule while in the Jacuzzi.

1. Move away

2. If 1 doesn't work politely say no

3. If 1 and 2 are ignored, give them a slap

Never had to get to the stage 3. Don't worry about saying no in front of others, as they may see it happening and as you aren't saying no they may join in too, which I'm sure you definitely wouldn't want to happen. I think in a club people wouldn't bat an eyelid to someone saying no to someone else, we all have a preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I move away and make it clear that not interested and it carries on. I simply pick up their hand and place it back on themselves.

They don't normally dare again but would have no hesitation in saying fuck off.

Why would you not tell hubby when he is doing it. especially if you can't say no yourself

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Sorry to have to admit I tell them to get their hands off me in no uncertain terms. If Mr is close, he will get in gently before I will, but if he has gone somewhere on his own off to play, he will hear my voice across the venue and come to rescue the guy. I really dont like guys assuming they can touch and get involved without asking or being asked .... I would never assume, so why should anyone else? The same goes for women who try it on without asking ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a simple can you please stop touching me. If tgat fails a simple but polite f**k off

Exactly,a polite not interested followed by a blunt refusal if he is too stupid to understand the first.to hell with his feelings,he obviously cares little for yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly !"
I have it on good authority he had athletes foot and was trying to share it

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

When Beth is travelling on the tube and some random guy has touched her she just grabs their hand and holds it up saying loudly - 'who owns this hand that was trying to touch me up' it usually embarrasses the hell out of the arse and might even stop him doing it again! Might work well in a jacuzzi, Beth is quite happy to tell guys to stop being inappropriate! But equally happy when in the mood to do the opposite - a polite no thanks SHOULD BE ENOUGH!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If I move away and make it clear that not interested and it carries on. I simply pick up their hand and place it back on themselves.

They don't normally dare again but would have no hesitation in saying fuck off.

Why would you not tell hubby when he is doing it. especially if you can't say no yourself "

I thought i was telling him "no" by moving out of his reach, well that would be enough for most sane, polite people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly ! I have it on good authority he had athletes foot and was trying to share it

Ha ha thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When Beth is travelling on the tube and some random guy has touched her she just grabs their hand and holds it up saying loudly - 'who owns this hand that was trying to touch me up' it usually embarrasses the hell out of the arse and might even stop him doing it again! Might work well in a jacuzzi, Beth is quite happy to tell guys to stop being inappropriate! But equally happy when in the mood to do the opposite - a polite no thanks SHOULD BE ENOUGH!"

ahhh, nice to put a name to the face hahaha

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

This is the exact reason me and my fb go saturday as it is couples evening. Like most things a samll minority ruin it for the genuine well behaved single guys in there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it's horny when a random hand or foot rubs against you in the jacuzzi . And other times , the owner may be not to our taste and it's far from pleasant .

In the case of the latter we just say no thank you and it's always worked just fine . After all , a guy will try his luck , and maybe doesn't want to spoil the ambiance by calling out with a question .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is the exact reason me and my fb go saturday as it is couples evening. Like most things a samll minority ruin it for the genuine well behaved single guys in there."

That's good but wouldn't work for us as we aren't interested in couples and always leave before it turns into couples and fems only. We really don't enjoy saturday nights there.

To be honest i have seen bad behaviour from as many couples and fems as i have from single guys, just normally it's not directed at me !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had this once, he got a harse staring look andthat was enough, d he continued as you had, we would have said something polite but wouldn't care if others heard, these guys need to know they cant oblige themselves at the expense of others discomfort,

any one at a club should observe the one rule, wait to be invited and not before

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

"we had this once, he got a harse staring look andthat was enough, d he continued as you had, we would have said something polite but wouldn't care if others heard, these guys need to know they cant oblige themselves at the expense of others discomfort,

any one at a club should observe the one rule, wait to be invited and not before"

Agree. Me and fb go for our benefit and enjoyment and not for others

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

ahhh, nice to put a name to the face hahaha"

If it was you I might have grabbed hold of something else!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly !"

Oh, the phantom foot fucker! I've had some issues with him, I just tell him to feck off and keep his scabby feet to himself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly !

Oh, the phantom foot fucker! I've had some issues with him, I just tell him to feck off and keep his scabby feet to himself. "

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By *usie pTV/TS
over a year ago

taunton

I have always been unsure as to who the feet belong when in the jacuzzi

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have always been unsure as to who the feet belong when in the jacuzzi "

It was easier to see yesterday as the jacuzzis arent so bubbly now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I've only had this trouble at couples nights when wife is sat other side of him trying to touch me.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Someone at a regular party I attend keeps trying to touch me... What's worse is he is part of the staff.

The last time he tried I said "no, that is non consensual" he stayed away for the first time for the remainder of the night. I hated that I had to be that abrupt and that he is staff too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone at a regular party I attend keeps trying to touch me... What's worse is he is part of the staff.

The last time he tried I said "no, that is non consensual" he stayed away for the first time for the remainder of the night. I hated that I had to be that abrupt and that he is staff too.

That's terrible. Can you not have a word with the boss?

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

It's not good is it !

I didn't tell hubby until we got out but i think i will tell him straight away next time !"

Seriously, report him to the management/staff!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was he asian ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's not good is it !

I didn't tell hubby until we got out but i think i will tell him straight away next time !

Seriously, report him to the management/staff! "

Bit late now lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Was he asian ?"

No.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had a bit trouble with them sneeky little sods. ??

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By *stwo80Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

"Someone at a regular party I attend keeps trying to touch me... What's worse is he is part of the staff.

The last time he tried I said "no, that is non consensual" he stayed away for the first time for the remainder of the night. I hated that I had to be that abrupt and that he is staff too.

In a way that's worse because he is staff, report him .

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"We've had a bit trouble with them sneeky little sods. ??"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/15 21:38:36]

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By *ogistical NightmaresCouple
over a year ago

Manchester Area

In the past I have said, quite loudly "Oh I'm sorry has my leg accidently touched your foot"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'd be telling them to piss off if they didn't get the hint !

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"Someone at a regular party I attend keeps trying to touch me... What's worse is he is part of the staff.

The last time he tried I said "no, that is non consensual" he stayed away for the first time for the remainder of the night. I hated that I had to be that abrupt and that he is staff too.

In a way that's worse because he is staff, report him ."

Its a little difficult as he is a manager of the club, I could tell another of the team but its awkward. I will if I need to, or just be even more vocal if I need to, although if it happens again I may just choose to take my custom somewhere where I feel more comfortable.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I've dealt loudly and easily at various events... I just find this situation a little more difficult. I think he thinks he is just being tactile and funny but I don't see it that way at all.

Its not that bad though, just a little uncomfortable to keep being aware and telling him.

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By *ice guy 44Man
over a year ago

wrexham

you just need to say sorry im not playing or your man should have said it at least

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I move or look round and give them a killer look if that doesn't work I politely say don't touch ...and it's not just single guys I've had couples and women touch me without invitation x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you just need to say sorry im not playing or your man should have said it at least"

"My man" didn't know it was happening as it was happening under water

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Telling someone no thanks at a club or party will not humiliate or embarrass them.

It's far better (though not what we're used to doing) to be straightforward and use simple language rather than rely on looks or avoidance. It's also easier to determine who is simply unaware (they'll stop when asked) and who is a pest (they'll have another go).

If they've been told once nicely and try it again then feel free to report to staff/tell them to fuck off/grab the offending bodypart and not let go ad you give them a loud and embarrassing lecture about manners and sexual assault.

I've used the third option on occasion, most recently with a man on couples night who's wife encouraged him to keep grabbing me. After I wouldn't let go of the offending hand until he'd had a really old-school telling off and an explanation of what a sexual assault charge would do to his reputation I think they got the message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I still feel that what i did, which was continually move away from his foot and turn away from him and also leave the jacuzzi, should have made him realise that i wasn't interested. After all if he wasn't actually speaking to me but using physical movements to make his intentions clear to me then surely i could also use the same way !

He must have been very stupid to not realise that i wasnt interested !

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By *orders2forUCouple
over a year ago

Hawick

It is impossible to legislate against stupidity.

I have seen this in the Chams Jacuzzis before and TBH it is difficult for the single guys as if they don't try there is no hope at all. So they do and the denser ones in reality DO need to be told honestly "sorry its a no"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When at Chams and happily chilling in the jacuzzi with hubby, maybe doing a bit of kissing and touching with him.

He got back in the jacuzzi every time we did and did the same.

He wasn't the only guy to behave like that. Another guy did similar and put his feet right where mine naturally go when sat in the seat in there.

I guess i need to go back to being blunt and saying "no" loudly !"

Had exactly the same problem. At one point I sat with my knees into my chest he backed off then. I don't understand why men think it's a free for all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look them straight in the eyes,point an accusing finger and shout "Oi you no!"

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Men can benefit from being told 'please don't touch me' in a polite manner. If that is ignored you can tell him you'll have him thrown out of the club if he touches you again and let management deal with him.

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