FabSwingers.com forum: 26 year old guy, looking for club advice...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob"

Well behaved sociable single guys are not a nuisance. Badly behaved ones are a nuisance wherever they go. Suggest you read the club reviews for clubs in the North West and the Midlands.

Him

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

Swinging world is mainly for couples, and to some extent single girls. The prices are significantly higher for single guys, additionally some nights are closed to single guys. Selection is done on single guys only, it is not done on single girls and every type can enter a club no matter what...do I need to continue?

Ah yes if you have standards and refuse to sleep to whatever hole talks to you, you will be treated badly. Single guys are supposed to take everything in swinging apparently

What you can find as a single guy is quick shags. You could make some friends too, no doubt about it. I find it a fun environment at the end, so I suggest you to go...only if you have spare money to spend!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check out the swinging club/event ads section on here. There are often events and socials advertised that you don't need to be a member of the club to attend. This is a great way to check out clubs before deciding which clubs you want to visit more often.

Also check the club reviews and club websites of any clubs you might be interested in. The club websites will give you info on how to become a member etc.

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Swinging world is mainly for couples, and to some extent single girls. The prices are significantly higher for single guys, additionally some nights are closed to single guys. Selection is done on single guys only, it is not done on single girls and every type can enter a club no matter what...do I need to continue?

Ah yes if you have standards and refuse to sleep to whatever hole talks to you, you will be treated badly. Single guys are supposed to take everything in swinging apparently

You spend 2 paragraphs moaning about clubs then recommend he goes?

OP - there are loads of clubs in the north west, make sure you check the websites in case there are nights single guys aren't allowed, and to find out what you have to pay for membership!

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"You spend 2 paragraphs moaning about clubs then recommend he goes?

Yes go, but bare in mind my two and half paragraphs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah yes if you have standards and refuse to sleep to whatever hole talks to you, you will be treated badly. Single guys are supposed to take everything in swinging apparently

Sorry but as someone that has attended clubs for many many years and until the last few years only gone for single guys... I find your comments very dismal.

Well behaved and articulate single guys are always welcomed. It's when you get people that feel that just because they have paid to get in that women shouldn't refuse them or take offence because how dare the likes of me refuse them ( had that before ) that they are frowned upon.

We tend to only go on mixed nights as we prefer the ambiance and on occasion I enjoy a group of guys. Or a well chosen single to join is for a 3sum.

To the op. Just find a club with a mixed night and treat it as a night out with friends old and new... Any fun is a added bonus. Talk to people, and be friendly not creepy and have a good time x

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"Well behaved and articulate single guys are always welcomed. It's when you get people that feel that just because they have paid to get in that women shouldn't refuse them or take offence because how dare the likes of me refuse them ( had that before ) that they are frowned upon. "

To the OP: as you can see, many many couples always think that when a single guy moans, it is because he gets refused.

I actually said the opposite in my comment...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP: as you can see, many many couples always think that when a single guy moans, it is because he gets refused.

I actually said the opposite in my comment...

If a single guy refuses me, then I look for someone else... We are all entitled to say no.

I've been in this lifestyle for over 16 years, and never mind a refusal as long as they aren't nasty with it.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Ah yes if you have standards and refuse to sleep to whatever hole talks to you, you will be treated badly. Single guys are supposed to take everything in swinging apparently

so if i disagree with most of what you said... are you going to accuse me of being a sheep or indeed a white knight??

swinging and clubs in general... you get out of it what you put in....

I think it is interesting that i think the attitude you look at swinging with can determine your chances....

the swinging world is for everyone.... and you determine how deep you want to get into that world... so if you want the community and the socialising side, it is there..... and if you just want the sex with strangers side, that is also there....

it is not "one size fits all" alli would tell you would be that where you go... go with an open mind and no expectations.......

clubs have always had different nights aimed at different people... be that TV/TS... of girls only, or greedy girls, or couples only.... but it seems leonard only take expections to the night where he is excluded....

but if all the clubs i have been to i actually have never been to one where they have a selection process based on looks/ age/size.... have based on that they know me and my personality, and they know i would enjoy a particular night more than another....

they prices may be higher... but it depends on what the comparison is.... if it against other people sure... if i am comparing it about what i would be doing on the same night otherwise... probably not!

you have as much choice in who you sleep with as anyone else..... i said to everyone be that couple, fem or bloke never be afraid to say no... and if they can't take a no thank you, they shouldn't be swinging!!!

i find respect goes a long way... thats not cowering down to couples, they are as equal as you are....and talking about a couple as "whatever hole you are talking to" doesn't really scream respect!

there are friends i have made after 15 minutes... and there have been friends i have known for 10 years in the scene.... you get out what you put in, you can stick your toe in as deep as you want, you can make yourself stand out for the better if you want to...... at the end of the day, its on you!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob"

Apologies for hijacking your post with that rant.

If you're respectful and chat to people you won't be classed as a nuisance.

As usual I'd recommend chams in darlaston but it's not too close to you.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

donkey dicks in salisbury if your down this way ..single guys are very welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP some good advice and a few who've gone off piste a bit.

You're quite spoiled in the north west with lots of clubs in driving distance. You'll have to check websites for which ones let single guys in and when. Lots allow unlimited single guys in on many nights. This probably allows you to hide a little in the pack if you're feeling a little shy. Those clubs and nights are a real turn off for some though as there can be something of a predatory feel. Not everyone has an issue with it though and it probably offers up the most flexibility to you.

There's at least two clubs in the north west who only allow a small number of 'vetted' single guys in on some nights. Lots of couples prefer that and the general level of respect from the guys does seem higher. Perhaps less anonymity? These clubs would encourage (or even insist) on meeting you in advance to help you understand what you are getting in to and what's expected.

If I was interested in investing in my experience as a single guy and wanted to avoid being looked at as one of the seedier folk I'd probably explore the latter.

You could of course try both and evaluate what works best for you. Either way, good luck, because as much as they get stick single guys do enable many couples and ladies to fulfill desires they otherwise couldn't.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

Ah yes if you have standards and refuse to sleep to whatever hole talks to you, you will be treated badly. Single guys are supposed to take everything in swinging apparently

You must be John Snow because you know nothing.

You have been, according to your running commentaries, to 2 clubs in the West Midlands. You are hardly in a position to offer any worthwhile advice on the single male policies or pricing of clubs in the Northwest.

You also appear to know little about how and why couples might want to play with single guys and who the OP might want to play with.

OP, as many people have suggested, have a look at the clubs section and choose a club. Single guys are welcome at most of the nw clubs. No 3 and the Townhouse limit the numbers at times, Cupids and Partners have some couples only sessions, the rest welcome singles pretty much all the time. Prices will vary but are not usually as expensive as many people claim.

Single guys without attitude are very welcome at most clubs. Behave with common sense and you will be fine.

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By *arpie666Woman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I don't know who the hell you think you are...nothing special i assure you and before you quote women as a "hole" i think before you continue your journey in the swinging world you need to look up the word respect in a dictionary! There are unwritten rules that all us good swingers abide by ... respect for each other who ever they are be it couples single men or women being paramount ... well you just blew that one out the water. If you are in a club and there are no women you feel an attraction to don't refer to them as "dogs" everyone one has good nites and bad nites....live with it. In a nutshell you have completely the wrong outook and attitude to be a swinger and therefore you really do not belong in the world of swing. Try boxing .... but be warned they fight back in that world !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have watched this post for a while now and said nothing, i feel now is my time .. i have to say its guys like you that give us genuine singles a bad name !! Please be aware that if you carry on the way you are im afraid you will have no place in our world .. as above . Try boxing but they do fight back !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im sure a couple of the clubs near the op have spoken about a "newbie" night maybe that is something to look into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob"
try adfabs its very expensive but you will be welcomed with open legs I mean arms

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I've been to many clubs, PM me if you wanna know more x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't know who the hell you think you are...nothing special i assure you and before you quote women as a "hole" i think before you continue your journey in the swinging world you need to look up the word respect in a dictionary! There are unwritten rules that all us good swingers abide by ... respect for each other who ever they are be it couples single men or women being paramount ... well you just blew that one out the water. If you are in a club and there are no women you feel an attraction to don't refer to them as "dogs" everyone one has good nites and bad nites....live with it. In a nutshell you have completely the wrong outook and attitude to be a swinger and therefore you really do not belong in the world of swing. Try boxing .... but be warned they fight back in that world !"

Couldn't agree more, but I know that we will be told hes entitled to his opinion, yet when I've stated my opinion in the past I've had a ban!

By all means let this be an opinion from him, he just can't complain when he goes to clubs and no-one wants to play with him due to his disrespect towards us "holes". Swinging is a community and many of us speak to one another at clubs, so will be told of other users mannerisms. If he believes it's acceptable, he has the right too, numerous times people have tried to assist him on how to behave in a respectable manner, but he doesn't seem to want to take it on board. Ah well, least we are aware of what some people really think.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Couldn't agree more, but I know that we will be told hes entitled to his opinion, yet when I've stated my opinion in the past I've had a ban!

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob"

Look at club reviews and websites, some clubs are dress down, others are smart casual. Many clubs will have their Xmas parties coming up, so these will be fairly busy nights.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Can people please remember to not attack the poster when giving your opinion...Thanks

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By *ojos party boyMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I was in the same place as OP a few months ago, i was pretty nervous as the local club (townhouse) had a single guy introduction policy.

luckily i spoke to a few club regulars on here and was made to feel welcome.

I think your best going not expecting anything. I did and was blown away on my first night!

As a single guy everyones been friendly and polite, and will always talk to you if they can/want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey people. Not sure this is the right place to post this, but I'm looking for some advice .

I'm a single, 26 year old guy, based in Merseyside, but willing and able to drive elsewhere. I've attended a very small club in the past and I'm keen to dip my toe deeper into the water.

So where would you guys recommend I check out? I'd like somewhere fairly busy, but without being looked on as a nuisance for being a single guy...Any advice is very appreciated! Thanks,

Rob"

We are very lucky in the North West to have a great selection of clubs to choose from and we're not too far from the Midlands either.

I would say that all of our clubs are perfect for single guys but each has specific rules /charges for single men so do check their websites.

Have fun.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Im taking the op to chams at some point so he can get the feel of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They have a single guy introduction night every Wednesday at Townhouse which works well.

Check out the review section.

They do limit the number of single guys on certain nights but this means that they have a better ratio and all the single guys I've met have been really polite and a pleasure to be around.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I'm pretty much in agreement with what Fabio said above. Or, to quote Tom lehrer...."life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it".

Swinging is not "mainly for" anyone in particular. You might find some clubs tend to have lots of couples, others might have a different mix. Or the same club might have a different vibe on different days/nights.

I usually go with my wife but we don't often play as a couple so we end up looking to each separately join other people or groups. Ergo I kind of act like a "single" man at clubs. I've been going on and off for over 12 years.

From my own experiences and watching others, I find that as long as guys are respectful, friendly and above all non-pushy they get on fine. Guys won't get to play as often as a single lady might, because there are usually several times more guys than ladies at events where single men are permitted. But most club guests are polite and even pleasant when a single guy shows interest and it's not reciprocated.

The problems seem to occur when men feel that they are somehow entitled to some sort of action. Some guys tend to hang around play areas in a rather creepy manner - I am sure not realising that they are creeping out people but still it is disconcerting. Others don't seem able to understand gentle, polite refusals....which is when a lady or couple feel they have to be more blunt.

Of course your mileage may vary. There *are* rude ladies and couples and it might be your bad luck to come across some. But in general we are pleasant folk just out to enjoy ourselves.

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