FabSwingers.com forum: First time at a club

By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

So .......myself and Em have spoken about it for a while now and we've both decided that we'd like to visit a club. We're going to go to vanilla alternative as its getting good reviews etc so my questions are really.....

What can we expect

Are there and hints and tips for newbies

What is the etiquette for playing/people wanting to play with Em

How can I get Em to feel comfortable once inside

If I've missed anything could you all offer general advice etc

Also I won't be playing, it'll just be Herod she feels comfortable enough.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Damn sausage fingers, meant to read it'll just be her if she feels comfortable enough

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Damn sausage fingers, meant to read it'll just be her if she feels comfortable enough"

I thought it was her nickname

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol"

Some people think that clubs are like an organic scene from a 1970's porn film, they are like normal clubs but with the chance of playing.

Dave

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

That's not the image we had at all lol but we were hoping that Em would get a chance to play if she felt comfortable.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"That's not the image we had at all lol but we were hoping that Em would get a chance to play if she felt comfortable. "

She can, but if you go there with the expectation of playing and it doesn't happen, there may not be anyone there she fancies, then you could end up being disappointed. If you go expecting to have a relaxed and fun social evening and you do end up playing, all the better.

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

That's a good way to look at it, at least we can still have fun together if ithe vibe isn't quite right and we like it with people watching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol"

If you with expectations you won't be disappointed

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By *otty69Couple
over a year ago

bedford

Been va a few times lovely plush club... ideal starting place for a 1st club.

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol"

Oh, let's see the replies to a couple profile now

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By *eonardoLoveMan
over a year ago

London

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol

Some people think that clubs are like an organic scene from a 1970's porn film, they are like normal clubs but with the chance of playing.

Dave"

You can play also in normal clubs. Shocks!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol

If you with expectations you won't be disappointed

*dont go

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

She's quite nervous but wants to try and we don't really have any expectations other than she'd be able to have lots of fun. Maybe that's the wrong way to be looking at our first visit but being Virgins to clubs we have nothing to base our views on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The VA is like a bar/nightclub and there is noting to be nervous of.

Go to see what it is like, don't expect sex.

The hot tub is huge

Don't expect sex?? We were hoping that would be a given lol"

What would ppl say if a single guy said sex is a given at clubs

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I think the 'lol' the end of my sentence would have implied that it was a playful throw away comment and not there to be taken out of context.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the 'lol' the end of my sentence would have implied that it was a playful throw away comment and not there to be taken out of context. "

Ill remember to use the lol next time then

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

I've often wanted to try a club, and been offered to be taken a few times..... But either they've pulled out, it was a wind up or we decided to explore each others boundaries before incorporating others

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By *ot_couple84Couple
over a year ago

Andover

We recently went to our first club night after wanting to for ages. We were very nervous and also unsure of what to expect. The club owners are all really nice, most places offer a quick tour so that you know where everything is.

It took us a good few hours of wandering around and watching to feel ready to play, we then found a place to play on our own and the evening just went from there

a polite request to watch ended in us having a very very enjoyable night as we invited him to join in! Go and have some fun watching, all the people we have encountered and spoken to on our two visits to a club have been really lovely, good to chat to, extremely polite and very respectful. Enjoy!! Xx

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

That's good advice thanks and I think we may do just that, take lots of time and soak up the atmosphere first before thinking about anything else. Thank you

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By *aith boyMan
over a year ago

Worthing

wow !!.. most comments are positive !!..lol...keep posting , and I'll let you know how I get on !!.. good luck matey...

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Sounds like you've discussed all the potential issues - Love to hear about your first experience!

Good luck and enjoy

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Potential spanner in the works.... We've been messaged by someone suggesting abfabs is a better place to visit. Now we really don't know what to do lol

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering

As someone who has been visiting The Vanilla Alternative for around 4 years and also been to AbFabs several times, I would think that VA's is probably the best starting point for someone, especially a lady, who is visiting a club for the first time. Don't get me wrong, I love Kestrel Hydro/AbFabs but it can be a bit daunting for a first timer mainly due to how spread out it is and the staff are there to just run the club.

Of recent times I have been showing new visitors around VA's both on Friday nights when single guys attend and on Saturdays when it's couples and single ladies only. Both can be good for female first timers but obviously it depends what they are looking for. If it's guys then obviously Friday is probably best. Many VA couples have a bi female so either day can be interesting.

Also at VA's the staff team (and importantly the lady members of the team) pay particular attention to the single female visitors, especially first timers, to make sure they feel welcome and safe. Throughout the evening they will get into conversation with the new visitors to reassure them and answer any questions they may have.

Having shown many new couples and singles around VA's, I make a special effort to have a few words with them at the end of the evening to see how they got on. Almost without exception the feedback is positive and most went a little bit further than they thought they would, but also thoroughly enjoyed it.

I hope you will decide to give VA's a go but just bear in mind that this coming Friday is a special bi night and will be much busier than the usual Frisky Friday party nights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Potential spanner in the works.... We've been messaged by someone suggesting abfabs is a better place to visit. Now we really don't know what to do lol"

Not been to adfabs but our visit to VA was fantastic.

Jane showed us around and we felt kept an eye on us,

Just a little smile and a chat as we were getting drinks from the bar, made us feel comfortable and safe that we had a connection with someone.

Went further than we thought we would, just haven't been able to hook it all together to get back.

In our opinion a safe, clean, comfortable environment with a great bar area if you don't want to go to far and a fantastic hot tub and play area if you want a no pressure environment to explore more.

Say hi to Jane for us.

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Update on our decision, we've looked at both websites and seen the comments from you all and we've decided to go to VA, Em feels it will be a better place to go for our first visit even tho it's a little further away. Abfabs might be for when we are a little more experienced

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By *eekayCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

We loved the VA. That was our first club. Clean and classy and a superb night was had.

We had clear rules.....we would only play together on that first visit. To ease into it and find out what it's all about.

Good luck and enjoy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From a female persepective - VA was a complete let down - nobody playing other than with each other. We nodded at a few people and tried chatting but no joy. Huge disappointment as it was my birthday treat. Jaydees is good, Pleasures is good, Mingles is a good, small club. If it's your first time, I would recommend Mingles as it is small, intimate and very well run. Go on a Saturday evening for the best experience. You should always use condoms. A shut and locked door means NO. Drawn curtains round a play area mean no peeping. NOBODY should touch either of you without your permission. If you are playing together in a room and want others to join in, make it clear. Also if you don't mind guys watching and wanking, make that clear - nobody will be offended - quite the opposite. You don't have to do anything. Women dress and sexy as they dare and men should be smart, shaven and smell good. Sometimes it's nice to just watch and soak up the atmosphere! Anything else, just PM me

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By *mojee OP Couple
over a year ago

Dunfermline

^^^^^thanks for the reply^^^^^^^^

No idea where these places you mentioned are

It's our intention to go have a look round and then and only then if Mrs is happy to play she will. It will only be us at first. If Em then feels comfortable and only then she will be happy to play with others. If nobody is interested then it's no problem as we will always have each other. We respect everybody and appreciate everyone has their own views on places like this but we will have to start somewhere and VA has won us over. I know this probably sounds a bit arsey but isn't meant to. Thanks for the advice everyone and please keep it coming as it is all helping us in our exploration of our new lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for the VA it's never let us down, relax have fun and enjoy x

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

hope you have a wonderful time at VA, i havent been because ive heard its all open and i like to have the option of playing privately if i want to. abfabs was my first club as a couple years ago friday nights and the layout was a bit scary although id recommend the club to anyone,facilities are awesome x

mingles, lovely little club in colchester, great ownera and very sociable first time as a single on the scene i went there..i had a wonderful first experience. but without the wet facilities and furniture..

i go to jaydees a lot simply because of the relaxed party atmosphere and the people..got a large social going on this saturday..loads of newbies going to club for first time with a few of us, to make sure they all have a great night socially...intending to do a few more next year..

events for all these places can be found on the events forum.. i hope you have a wonderful night xx and see you at some point on your journey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The VA is a great club! If you go only expecting to play with each other, you won't be disappointed, and if you meet the right people you will have even more fun!

Don't be afraid to break the ice and talk to people you like the look of.

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By *immCouple
over a year ago

Stourport on Severn

VA was our first club and we have been again since. Very relaxed atmosphere and Saturday night is couples. PM if you have questions. Going for the weekend of 13th of this month.

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"hope you have a wonderful time at VA, i havent been because ive heard its all open and i like to have the option of playing privately if i want to. abfabs was my first club as a couple years ago friday nights and the layout was a bit scary although id recommend the club to anyone,facilities are awesome x

events for all these places can be found on the events forum.. i hope you have a wonderful night xx and see you at some point on your journey

You should try it. I'm very shy but actually play in the open areas which is something I thought I would never do. They do have private play areas but I haven't even used them yet . I've felt really comfortable playing openly x

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

"hope you have a wonderful time at VA, i havent been because ive heard its all open and i like to have the option of playing privately if i want to.

That is the major reason I won't go back to VA, I hated the lack of private play options. In other clubs I play either in private or in open public rooms but was so uncomfortable at VA I had to leave early.

Tried talking to people but they weren't having it, even those we were 'friends' with on here, very cliquey. And no-one played with others, only their own partner.

Beautiful club but didn't suit me at all.

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By *teed99Man
over a year ago

Kettering

The open play format at VA's is one of those Marmite things. Some people like it, some people don't. Fortunately enough do and keep coming back to make The Vanilla Alternative the popular club that it is.

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