FabSwingers.com forum: How To Suggest A Club To My Wife....

By *tevedan OP Man
over a year ago

London

I've been to a couple of clubs as a single guy and really enjoyed myself.

But I'm sure it would be more fun with my wife.

I didn't tell her about those visits, and I don't really know how she would react. I suspect she'd be a bit shocked by the idea.

But you don't know if you don't ask.

So does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her - the women out there might have some good ideas....

Thanks...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you suspect she would be shocked...you already know the answer. You wont like other answers either.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

you will get my bog standard answer to anyone who asks this question...

you could always show her your profile......

just interested to see if you want go to the same club again a try to "style it out" if someone swears they have seen you there before.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We got into this one night after a long in depth conversation about our ultimate fantasies. Maybe try to instigate a similar chat with her one night? She might have things shed like to try and be honest about them, she might not.

You never know...she might be doing the same as you, secret fab profile with meets, and even numerous club visits, enjoying her naughty secret 'single fem' status when she can

Sasha x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I geuss it depends on what kind of relationship you have? I approached my partner about it and he was great! But then we are both very open about things and have a 'ambitious' if you like sex drive! I would say go for it, but then if she says no how will you take it?

Good luck!! Miss P

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps ask the lady that verified you to tell your wife about your club visit and how much you both enjoyed it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say go for it, but then if she says no how will you take it?"

I expect he would probably get over it by getting under someone else, in a club, on his own. Carry on as before!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would say go for it, but then if she says no how will you take it?

I expect he would probably get over it by getting under someone else, in a club, on his own. Carry on as before!"

There's a disapproving response if ever I have seen one

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just show her your profile on here. I'm sure it'll go very well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

For us, it all came about from discussing fantasies. Swinging seemed like the only real opportunity to be able to fulfil some of the fantasies we'd discussed.

On the other hand, neither of us had been going behind the others back. I suspect that if you discuss the things you've already dabbled with, you'll probably be talking your wife into a divorce rather than a club visit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tevedan OP Man
over a year ago

London

Thanks for the advice. I wasn't planning on telling her I'd been to any clubs! That wouldn't go well.

I think maybe the best thing is to raise it gently as a fantasy, and see how it goes...

I was just wondering if people had had similar experiences of taking a while to suggest it to their partner....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

So...."most" couples on here can only do this or started it because of the openness and honesty between them... You now have that wall to climb too.

I appreciate everyone is different but for us, it's the only way we can do it.

My point being is that you've probably already sealed your own fate...BUT it's never too late for honesty. Come clean, use your confession to try and explain how you feel. She'll either dump you, in which case you can do as you please, or you'll get through it and the cards will all be in the table. Either way you win.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I've been to a couple of clubs as a single guy and really enjoyed myself.

But I'm sure it would be more fun with my wife.

I didn't tell her about those visits, and I don't really know how she would react. I suspect she'd be a bit shocked by the idea.

But you don't know if you don't ask.

So does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her - the women out there might have some good ideas....

Thanks..."

Yes. Say "would you like to come to a club with me?"

As a woman I prize straightforward honesty above almost anything else in a partner and I feel this might be your way forward here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"Perhaps ask the lady that verified you to tell your wife about your club visit and how much you both enjoyed it."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say these steps...

watch mainly MMF porn

introduce a dildo during sex ...ask her if she's enjoying having two cocks etc.

If she does, tell her it would be your fantasy to see her with another guy (she may feel threatened if you say it's for full couple swap...hence sticking to the MMF scenario)

Show her a local club's website

Mention that you think it would be great fun to visit.

Attend a club...have your fingers crossed that all goes well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say these steps...

watch mainly MMF porn

introduce a dildo during sex ...ask her if she's enjoying having two cocks etc.

If she does, tell her it would be your fantasy to see her with another guy (she may feel threatened if you say it's for full couple swap...hence sticking to the MMF scenario)

Show her a local club's website

Mention that you think it would be great fun to visit.

Attend a club...have your fingers crossed that all goes well."

Why specifically MMF? what if she wants some pussy?!

OP if you're gonna have the conversation with her, don't try to control or anticipate her individual fantasies, just be open minded to any of her answers (I'd she responds that is)

I don't think you'll get the outcome you want to be honest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because raising 'swinging' out the blue, she'll likely feel that the he is suggesting it just so he can fuck other women...or she may not want to be traded, by suggesting MMF as a first step, it removes those complications. You are quite right she may want some pussy, but that'll come out once the journey has started.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Because raising 'swinging' out the blue, she'll likely feel that the he is suggesting it just so he can fuck other women...or she may not want to be traded, by suggesting MMF as a first step, it removes those complications. You are quite right she may want some pussy, but that'll come out once the journey has started."

I really don't think any of us can possibly know how a woman that none of us know is going to react and what will come out once the journey has started. That is why these threads inevitably descend into chaos giving advice on how to approach a person about who we know nothing is impossible.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So...."most" couples on here can only do this or started it because of the openness and honesty between them... You now have that wall to climb too.

I appreciate everyone is different but for us, it's the only way we can do it.

Yes, I agree with this too.

You can't be promiscuous/open/swingers without total honesty. Well, I couldn't be.

I was rather someone was straight up and honest with me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

I think before you even mention a club you need to test the water as far as how she feels about voyerism, mmf , ffm, just being watched, etc etc. Im assuming you didnt join in at the club and just watched? .

If she shows any distaste at all at any suggestion, i would back right off.

problem is that once you dip your toe into the fun of swinging its very hard to go back to total vanilla one to one.

in my experience it is anyway.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tevedan OP Man
over a year ago

London

Thanks for all the thoughts. Very interesting. I'll think I'll just raise gently as something Id be interesting in trying, and let her respond. Obviously she may say it is not for her...but you never really know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *leepyangelCouple
over a year ago

over the hill and far away

You are a married man who is openly cheating on your wife

How can this be encouraged?

Show her your verification which is published to the whole world so that she can take it straight to her solicitor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are a married man who is openly cheating on your wife

How can this be encouraged?

Show her your verification which is published to the whole world so that she can take it straight to her solicitor "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a shame you decided to go off and do your own thing, how much sexier would it have been to have shared your fantasies and approached this lifestyle step by step with your wife?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"I've been to a couple of clubs as a single guy and really enjoyed myself.

But I'm sure it would be more fun with my wife.

I didn't tell her about those visits, and I don't really know how she would react. I suspect she'd be a bit shocked by the idea.

But you don't know if you don't ask.

So does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her - the women out there might have some good ideas....

Thanks..."

It is time to be honest. Explain why you are on here, explain what you want from it and try to explain what she may get from being on here. It is tough being honest sometimes, but do it right and you could both have a load of fun! Good luck - we have all been there to some extent, judging you is not necessary.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

Probably from a distance and via a divorce lawyer...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

This reminds me of an old joke:

The Parrot

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.

"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only £20."

"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.

"Well", replies the assistant, "It used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity".

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up,

"I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman. "Fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam".

"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh.

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

"Un fucking-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes" complain the girls but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.

A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home.

"In-fucking-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients.... How ya doin', Dave?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been to a couple of clubs as a single guy and really enjoyed myself.

But I'm sure it would be more fun with my wife.

I didn't tell her about those visits, and I don't really know how she would react. I suspect she'd be a bit shocked by the idea.

But you don't know if you don't ask.

So does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her - the women out there might have some good ideas....

Thanks..."

Here is my standArd answer she is your wife only you can tell

If you really need to come on a internet sex site and ask relationship advice then you should be talking to her not us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are a married man who is openly cheating on your wife

How can this be encouraged?

Show her your verification which is published to the whole world so that she can take it straight to her solicitor "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iouxBWoman
over a year ago

Colchester

i feel you should at least have had this conversation with your wife before you decided to play away from home....unfaithful is the same no matter how you word it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the advice. I wasn't planning on telling her I'd been to any clubs! That wouldn't go well.

I think maybe the best thing is to raise it gently as a fantasy, and see how it goes...

I was just wondering if people had had similar experiences of taking a while to suggest it to their partner...."

It wouldn't go well........? (Makes me think..."no shit Sherlock")

You have obviously been happy deceiving her for some time.......either continue with this...or, as others have said on here..."fess up" and tell her you have tried it.... Show her your profile where you are happy to describe yourself as a single guy. Many guys do this...and I don't wish to judge you...but as you asked for advice then there it is, or at least the general consensus.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ichaelRubyCouple
over a year ago

London

so… er … how has it gone for you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layalongCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If you were my husband and you'd been out shagging in clubs I'd divorce you. A cheat is cheat. I'm pretty certain she would say the same, you ain't swinging if your married and the wife doesn't know. That's cheating.

I think I must be due. Angry hormones raging

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *akedwife12Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Thanks for all the thoughts. Very interesting. I'll think I'll just raise gently as something Id be interesting in trying, and let her respond. Obviously she may say it is not for her...but you never really know. "

Something you are interested in trying??

Sounds like you had a good go already!!

Are you of the group of married people who think swinging and cheating are the same thing?

Then you broadcast yourself on here and expect support, advice and encouragement?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

"I've been to a couple of clubs as a single guy and really enjoyed myself.

But I'm sure it would be more fun with my wife.

I didn't tell her about those visits, and I don't really know how she would react. I suspect she'd be a bit shocked by the idea.

But you don't know if you don't ask.

So does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her - the women out there might have some good ideas....

Thanks..."

She told me at the club that she was having a similar worry about asking you.....

When I see these posts and it says wife I immediately think.

TOO LATE!!!

This kind of conversation came up within weeks of me dating not years after. It was not so much let's swing. But a sharing of sexual interests. If you've got as far as marriage without discussing your sexual wants and needs to me thats as communication problem not a sexual one.

It would be similar to telling your wife you're gay after years of what she thought was a good heterosexual marriage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"i feel you should at least have had this conversation with your wife before you decided to play away from home....unfaithful is the same no matter how you word it.

I think that bus has already left

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I think this is your fantasy .... not hers ...

How would you feel if she were on fab as a single lady ... and had verifications ....

I would let sleeping dogs lie ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread