FabSwingers.com forum: Couples in clubs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When you are in a club do you do the approaching or wait until someone approaches you ?

On the two occasions I have been I didn't really talk to many people,

First one I was a little nervous but lucky for me I was meeting someone there, The second club I was still a little nervous but did try and chat with a few people, But I spent more time in the smoking area as when I have a drink and find myself on my own I tend to start smoking, Also as it was a fab meet I found most people were either catching up with old friends or talking with other couples

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

It depends, I just generally get chatting to people at the bar if I'm on my own

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I've never been to one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll talk to anyone even those who clearly don't want me talking to them

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I chat to everyone usually about something banal or comment on something thats going on. You can usually gauge if theyre interested..or not!

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

We've done both..... Even being a couple it's still not easy, but at least we have each other.

Sometimes it feels like people won't even say hello if they dont take an immediate liking to the look of you. Nothing wrong with a chat in our book, we all have our likes and dislikes but chatting doesn't mean playing is definitely gonna happen

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

C always comments that I can find the geek in any room

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"We've done both..... Even being a couple it's still not easy, but at least we have each other.

I agree..though I was chatting to a few guys today having a laugh and one took it to mean I wanted him. Its hard to walk the line between friendly and wanting to jump someones bones. Same applies to couples.

I have noticed some couples close themselves off just chatting to each other. That's their choice though obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do both. I am terrible at approaching people for play. I can talk to people no problem but can't say.. would you like to get a room or fancy playing x and I can't just start either x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He talks to anyone and everyone. He's cheeky and asks if we can join them. I just watch and follow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/07/15 23:17:12]

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

We've arranged to meet people for a social before going to clubs which helped. Swapping face pics and being able to say hello made the nights less scary lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He talks to anyone and everyone. He's cheeky and asks if we can join them. I just watch and follow.

That sounds like us lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not just talking about asking do you want to play scenarios but chatting in general, I will talk to anybody but usually let them start and take the take the lead when chatting, Its probable a self conscious thing on my part, I look younger then I am and tend to think most people wouldn't want to talk to me judge a book by its cover so to speak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We will talk to people. We find the worst thing in the world is when everyone is sat there not talking x

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

I tried sharing a bowl of jelly babies round that were in the bar as an ice breaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think both. We have begun talking to people and people have begun talking to us. It depends on how we feel and whether the other person/people look approachable. The first few times we went we were so nervous we couldn't look people in the eye, never mind go up to them and initiate conversation.

-Courtney

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

"We do both. I am terrible at approaching people for play. I can talk to people no problem but can't say.. would you like to get a room or fancy playing x and I can't just start either x "

This for me.

I am exactly the same.

Chat away socially all night long but do find it difficult to bring into the conversation about maybe moving to a room or play area.

Or if I have arranged to meet someone, I would still normally ask the lady what she would like to do.

Politeness and respect for the situation with a touch of 'lack of forwardness'

That's my problem.

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By *P2903Couple
over a year ago

Rotherham

We have only been approached by a confident single male and a couple in five visits but usually the single men seem either too terrified to approach or congregate together (the plural term for a group of single men is "a sausagefest" btw).

They will follow us around and watch us play but none will ever come over and say hi. It's their loss since last time we visited at Xtasia we had brought an FB and our play time made K horny enough to have entertained a few spare cocks, had they any balls attached.

As far as approaching others, P is currently not allowed to, though as K's confidence increases (she's getting there) this will likely change

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

I think the trouble is, for single men on fab anyway, is the very negative 'hassling' label that fab gives them that they feel disinhibited from approaching couples in a club for fear of being accused of hassling further

I agree it is a shame overall and I'm not sure how you get around it given the reputation of single men on here is unlikely to change

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Guys are not great at approaching and saying hi and we ARE approachable, it is nice to have someone come and say hello frankly.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"Guys are not great at approaching and saying hi and we ARE approachable, it is nice to have someone come and say hello frankly. "

I'm sure you are very friendly and it'd be good to chat to you, but guys on fab sort of get it drummer into them that their attentions are frequently unwarranted so changing that in the club setting is a difficult situation for some guys to get their head around

Not all I may say and have had some great times with couples personally just trying to potentially explain why the situation is occurring

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I go alone to a club I've not visited before I do tend to end up on my own. Its difficult to chat to people without it automatically being construed as an invite for sex. But visiting my local alone is fine, as is visiting a club with my club buddy Blondecaz, who has no problem talking to people at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've met lots of friendly guys in clubs that are happy to chat politely. One cheeky chappy was very good at asking everyone if they fancied a play. He made us smile but some couples seemed offended which was odd. Where's the harm in asking.

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By *abloversCouple
over a year ago

London

We don't smoke so would never have found you x

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

"Guys are not great at approaching and saying hi and we ARE approachable, it is nice to have someone come and say hello frankly. "

I don't find it an issue to approach and say hi.

As it is fun to talk to everyone.

It is the potential reading of any signs that I don't pick up on.

Generally treating the whole night as social.

So it doesn't feel comfortable then to me to say do you fancy going to play.

But that's my problem.

Talking is not an issue.

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"We've met lots of friendly guys in clubs that are happy to chat politely. One cheeky chappy was very good at asking everyone if they fancied a play. He made us smile but some couples seemed offended which was odd. Where's the harm in asking.

Exactly if you're in a swingers club it's not unreasonable to think you might be there to play and politely enquire

It's not like he was going round Waitrose doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly if you're in a swingers club it's not unreasonable to think you might be there to play and politely enquire

It's not like he was going round Waitrose doing it"

You'd think they were in Waitrose, the way some couples get huffy when guys chat to them.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We've only done daytime club visits, we have an evening one at end of month so hoping to talk to plenty of people there. I guess the mantra is (for anyone, not just single guys) is that if you have social skills, use them, a chat can be a chat and either progress or not depending on all concerned, but talking to people never hurt anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guys are not great at approaching and saying hi and we ARE approachable, it is nice to have someone come and say hello frankly.

I don't find it an issue to approach and say hi.

As it is fun to talk to everyone.

It is the potential reading of any signs that I don't pick up on.

Generally treating the whole night as social.

So it doesn't feel comfortable then to me to say do you fancy going to play.

But that's my problem.

Talking is not an issue.

When I slide my hand up your thigh, smile and look into your eyes that's my way of asking - shall we go and play? M x

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Exactly if you're in a swingers club it's not unreasonable to think you might be there to play and politely enquire

It's not like he was going round Waitrose doing it

You'd think they were in Waitrose, the way some couples get huffy when guys chat to them.

The sad thing is that either they can meet couples separately outside of the club setting, or go on a couples only night, of which most clubs have at least one at week

If you don't want single guy attention so much that it gets you wound up then maybe it should be pointed out to them that going to a club where social contact is encouraged, on a night where men are allowed in, might not have been the greatest idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (f) chat to every body until I get a sharp elbow from my evil one with a nod to be quiet... But on other side I miss some times invites and signes from others as live in my own little "world"

He then says err that couple fanced you or that girl wanted to drag you into a room... upppssss ...

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

"Guys are not great at approaching and saying hi and we ARE approachable, it is nice to have someone come and say hello frankly.

I don't find it an issue to approach and say hi.

As it is fun to talk to everyone.

It is the potential reading of any signs that I don't pick up on.

Generally treating the whole night as social.

So it doesn't feel comfortable then to me to say do you fancy going to play.

But that's my problem.

Talking is not an issue.

When I slide my hand up your thigh, smile and look into your eyes that's my way of asking - shall we go and play? M x

---

Now I know I am not normally good at picking up signs

I do think I would have a chance of understanding that one.

But with your hand on my thigh I may be slightly distracted from speaking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly if you're in a swingers club it's not unreasonable to think you might be there to play and politely enquire

It's not like he was going round Waitrose doing it

You'd think they were in Waitrose, the way some couples get huffy when guys chat to them.

The sad thing is that either they can meet couples separately outside of the club setting, or go on a couples only night, of which most clubs have at least one at week

It sounds so obvious....

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Exactly if you're in a swingers club it's not unreasonable to think you might be there to play and politely enquire

It's not like he was going round Waitrose doing it

You'd think they were in Waitrose, the way some couples get huffy when guys chat to them.

The sad thing is that either they can meet couples separately outside of the club setting, or go on a couples only night, of which most clubs have at least one at week

It sounds so obvious....

Clearly for some people it's far too abstract a concept for them to grasp

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

At our favourite club, Mr positions himself behind the bar (a feature, not used) where the free drinks are stationed and others usually think he is the barman, so that leads to some conversation. We are very relaxed there as it is a small intimate venue and we know quite a few people there. We both chat, alone or separate, but I usually get to find out who he likes the look of and proposition them on his behalf - this is for man on man action. I approach anyone I want to play with too. Recently I have been more reticent to play, as work has been so full on, I am normally not relaxed and ready to play until about 2:30 am, almost going home time. We have been put off different clubs because of the vibe, really like anywhere where we know a few people ... whether we play or not, love to chat.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

When I slide my hand up your thigh, smile and look into your eyes that's my way of asking - shall we go and play? M x

Do you really do that, and if so is that to guys and girls?? Apologies if I've missed your tongue in cheek comment.

Him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do that yes - I also sometimes say "Do you want to come and have some fun?" ....I prefer to be straight up front with it all - I am not ashamed when I feel horny I say so, m x

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

When I slide my hand up your thigh, smile and look into your eyes that's my way of asking - shall we go and play? M x

Do you really do that, and if so is that to guys and girls?? Apologies if I've missed your tongue in cheek comment.

Him"

If someone, male or female, touched me without asking, I would give them apiece of my mind. Ask first .... surely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you need read the signs are they giving you eye contact and smiling then. Go over and chat to them and see what happens.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Although we're both a little shy at making the first move in the clubs, we do usually seem to be the ones who approach other couples and initiate a conversation.

When it comes to the point of heading to the play rooms that's usually easier. Once we have a rapport with someone it doesn't seem too difficult to say "we're heading off to play, do you want to join us".

Cal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I went to clubs a bit, I just treated it like any other social situation and had a right laugh.

Occasionally you'll get a bad reaction but those people aren't worth it.

Most couples are very nice and have a good sense of humour.

I have had conversations and couples have said "we're not after single guys" throwing that line in. It's also a misconception that just because a guy talks to a girl or couple means he always wants to have sex. Though I understand it completely.

I just talk to most people.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"I do that yes - I also sometimes say "Do you want to come and have some fun?" ....I prefer to be straight up front with it all - I am not ashamed when I feel horny I say so, m x"

The asking would be fine but actually touching and rubbing your hand up the thigh wouldn't be welcomed at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are going to va on 31st, you are welcome to come say hi to us!

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