FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Club Discussion

D/s at a club on a non fetish event

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Afternoon fabbers

Off to a club soon. Prob through the day midweek unless we can sort childcare etc. It'll be our first visit so only looking to socialise and play together (unless an opportunity too good to miss arose).

R is my Dom. He's made it very clear I will be sub for our first visit which I definitely need to overcome any nerves and it excites the hell out of me. How much will this stand out?

I'm not collared but will be cuffed and I'm going to be on best behaviour so shouldn't be any punishments... just wondering if it's normal to see D/s on normal days?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would depend on who was in the club and what your doing. I've seen swingers get quite off with things they don't understand.

I have seen many people in collars at clubs but normally quite subtle... Seen people restrained in play areas but only on Fet events have I seen people restrained in social areas.

May I ask why you need to be in cuffs the whole time. Maybe more subtle ways of demonstrating your submission could be used when mixing with those that May not understand.

Btw it wouldn't bother us but not all swingers are good with kink

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most clubs are going to be quieter during the days so not that many peoples opinions to worry about. If it is a spa style club I am not sure cuffs would be the most practical dress code.

As to whether people have a problem with you making the nature of your relationship clear, the problem is theirs really if your happy. it will engage as many as it repels but be prepared for people to make incorrect assumptions about you and R.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It would depend on who was in the club and what your doing. I've seen swingers get quite off with things they don't understand.

I have seen many people in collars at clubs but normally quite subtle... Seen people restrained in play areas but only on Fet events have I seen people restrained in social areas.

May I ask why you need to be in cuffs the whole time. Maybe more subtle ways of demonstrating your submission could be used when mixing with those that May not understand.

Btw it wouldn't bother us but not all swingers are good with kink"

Don't need to and I don't imagine our public play will be any more extreme than non kink couples but I am not good at switching... takes me a little while to get my head round it both into and out of sub, so for us it's easier if I'm sub the whole time rather than vanilla in social areas and sub in play areas.

I will be a bundle of nerves if left to my own devices and I know exactly what I want out of our first visit, which isn't much, just to play publicly so next time I'm not nervous and can then start to explore swinging more, and we can ease off on the D/s a bit.

I'm not even sure he would restrain me in social areas. I have no intention of playing up. Doesn't mean my cuffs won't be on though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most clubs are going to be quieter during the days so not that many peoples opinions to worry about. If it is a spa style club I am not sure cuffs would be the most practical dress code.

As to whether people have a problem with you making the nature of your relationship clear, the problem is theirs really if your happy. it will engage as many as it repels but be prepared for people to make incorrect assumptions about you and R."

Thanks. Wise words. Currently our plans aren't a club with a wet room and we are thinking of doing the daytime thing for just that reason of quieter to get the experience and stop me over thinking everything like I seem to always do... on the plus side I'm usually well prepared lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe look at a play/munch

Where its social but play too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest my concern was more that it will be your first time. Mostly swingers behave... But having been a liaison between kink and swing previously and finding just one or two people could be really harsh.. I tend to be a bit over motherly

We witnessed a lovely display of spanking but spanking seems to have become more common place. The thing that struck us with this time was just how good the dominant was.

I'd hope most people would be good enough to just accept that it's each to their own.

Be fair on yourself. It's really easy to make a mistake while nervous and nerves can make you act up ... ( this is from someone that has first hand done it) but being in public can also make you want to try that bit harder.

I'd make sure any expectations and safe words are all firmly agreed so you know that you can get the support you may need

Mostly....enjoy x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe look at a play/munch

Where its social but play too.

"

Hadn't even considered this.... runs off to do some research on local stuff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To be honest my concern was more that it will be your first time. Mostly swingers behave... But having been a liaison between kink and swing previously and finding just one or two people could be really harsh.. I tend to be a bit over motherly

We witnessed a lovely display of spanking but spanking seems to have become more common place. The thing that struck us with this time was just how good the dominant was.

I'd hope most people would be good enough to just accept that it's each to their own.

Be fair on yourself. It's really easy to make a mistake while nervous and nerves can make you act up ... ( this is from someone that has first hand done it) but being in public can also make you want to try that bit harder.

I'd make sure any expectations and safe words are all firmly agreed so you know that you can get the support you may need

Mostly....enjoy x "

I'm not nervous about the kink side, I'm an experienced sub, just not publicly and R is my best mate who just happens to be my Dom. I will definitely leave my bratty side at the door and save that for private, cos let's face it, it's fun but there's a time and place for pushing your luck (like when he's miles away)!

It's the public play that I really really want but scares me. He will give me my rules before we go in and we already know what we want out of it. I'm ridiculously excited.

Just didn't know of it was commonplace or not to see D/s outside fet events?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We quite often attend Townhouse on non fetish events as the dungeon is free and we're much more able to use the equipment, we get some raised eyebrows maybe but have always found that people tend to respect each other, although we do get a lot of questions and we happily chat and answer what we can.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You see it on occasion. Sometimes its so subtle we just smile to ourselves, perhaps a look or a comment that others may not notice.

I haven't often seen people in cuffs but doesn't mean it will be a problem. Just enjoy it...and as to leaving the bratty side at the door... a skill I don't think I've ever mastered

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We quite often attend Townhouse on non fetish events as the dungeon is free and we're much more able to use the equipment, we get some raised eyebrows maybe but have always found that people tend to respect each other, although we do get a lot of questions and we happily chat and answer what we can. "

Lovely to hear it's respect you've experienced

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You see it on occasion. Sometimes its so subtle we just smile to ourselves, perhaps a look or a comment that others may not notice.

I haven't often seen people in cuffs but doesn't mean it will be a problem. Just enjoy it...and as to leaving the bratty side at the door... a skill I don't think I've ever mastered "

Haha I am good with controlling the brat once I'm in the right head space, still hesitate too much but brat gets put in its box... its when he expects sub and for example I'm sat at my desk in control of my world he gets way too much back chat off me. It seems like a daily occurrence I'm getting given tasks at work now to control my cheek

I do love it though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top