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By *idswingers OP   Man
over a year ago

Leicester

Hi, we are going to hold our first bi/bi curious night on June 12th in Leicester...

Do you think wristbands would be helpful to show if you are bi/bi curious or not

or do you think its just better to leave people to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would prefer not to have wristbands. I would assume that anyone attending would be open to bisexual activity, and ask them if they were interested in playing.

Or you could make the straight people wear a badge? You know, to remind them that they're not the 'normal' ones in that environment?

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By *earlyNipsCouple
over a year ago

St Neots

Don't see the point. I think them being bi would be assumed and normal rules apply.

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

It would depend if you were inviting couples where both were bi/curious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, we are going to hold our first bi/bi curious night on June 12th in Leicester...

Do you think wristbands would be helpful to show if you are bi/bi curious or not

or do you think its just better to leave people to it"

Agree with both replies, the fact that its a bi night you'd assume they were, but the point about one half, that might not be, is valid. Could be useful then, for willing participants... They'd be great for general nights though Sorry, we're nicking your idea now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be a couples event mostly, but it tends to be the female who is bi/curious and the man likes to watch. Maybe a band of some might be helpful. A simple band to show who the bi curious partner is. So There is no mix up.

For example two couples, the females have bands, the girls can play together and the men can watch or talk football.

A straight man being propositioned by a bi man may cause upse, If not propositioned tactfully.

I know townhouse has a four color band system, chameleons has a three color system for badges.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be a couples event mostly, but it tends to be the female who is bi/curious and the man likes to watch. Maybe a band of some might be helpful. A simple band to show who the bi curious partner is. So There is no mix up.

For example two couples, the females have bands, the girls can play together and the men can watch or talk football.

A straight man being propositioned by a bi man may cause upse, If not propositioned tactfully.

I know townhouse has a four color band system, chameleons has a three color system for badges.

"

If a straight man was upset at being propositioned by a man at a bi night, I'd suggest that the intolerant homophobe remove himself so that everyone else can continue to enjoy the safe environment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action?

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Let's not be presumptuous plenty of straight girls like to watch guys together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It would be a couples event mostly, but it tends to be the female who is bi/curious and the man likes to watch. Maybe a band of some might be helpful. A simple band to show who the bi curious partner is. So There is no mix up.

For example two couples, the females have bands, the girls can play together and the men can watch or talk football.

A straight man being propositioned by a bi man may cause upse, If not propositioned tactfully.

I know townhouse has a four color band system, chameleons has a three color system for badges.

If a straight man was upset at being propositioned by a man at a bi night, I'd suggest that the intolerant homophobe remove himself so that everyone else can continue to enjoy the safe environment."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Let's not be presumptuous plenty of straight girls like to watch guys together. "

They could have wristbands too, I'm not picky.

I'd just like to go to a bi night where it was bi and gay people who were considered 'normal' rather than the straight people in attendance.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

Bi nights are normally bi MALE nights.

No-one bats an eyelid at 2 women playing in clubs, but 2 men....

So any night that is advertised as a bi night is normally aimed at bi men, and depending on the club, the man has to be at least bi-friendly if not bi or curious.

As to wrist bands I feel they are pointless as you talk to a person to see if they are interested in playing with you so you can just ask if they are bi or not.

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Let's not be presumptuous plenty of straight girls like to watch guys together.

They could have wristbands too, I'm not picky.

I'd just like to go to a bi night where it was bi and gay people who were considered 'normal' rather than the straight people in attendance."

Ooh the bi and gay people in the 'normal' bracket could be seen as hetro-phobic lol

I am only teasing btw

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action? "

I'm a homophobe cos I'd like to watch 2 ladies get naughty?

I prefer the term horny male but hey each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action?

I'm a homophobe cos I'd like to watch 2 ladies get naughty?

I prefer the term horny male but hey each to their own."

That's not what she said, but hey, if you want to take stuff out of context to suit your own agenda, each to their own...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action?

I'm a homophobe cos I'd like to watch 2 ladies get naughty?

I prefer the term horny male but hey each to their own.

That's not what she said, but hey, if you want to take stuff out of context to suit your own agenda, each to their own..."

To put into context I was replying to both the posts she put together. I'm guilty of picking on the more ridiculous (in my opinion) of the 2 posts to reply too yes. I don't do agendas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would prefer not to have wristbands. I would assume that anyone attending would be open to bisexual activity, and ask them if they were interested in playing.

Or you could make the straight people wear a badge? You know, to remind them that they're not the 'normal' ones in that environment?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe"

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action?

I'm a homophobe cos I'd like to watch 2 ladies get naughty?

I prefer the term horny male but hey each to their own.

That's not what she said, but hey, if you want to take stuff out of context to suit your own agenda, each to their own...

To put into context I was replying to both the posts she put together. I'm guilty of picking on the more ridiculous (in my opinion) of the 2 posts to reply too yes. I don't do agendas."

And ignored the post she was actually responding to about straight men being offended by being approached at a bi night by bi men because they had come to watch the performing seals(my words, to be clear)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe"

Nobody actually said it did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out"

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read.

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night."
but you are targeting the male, no mention of a straight woman being offended at being propositioned by a bi or gay woman, isn't that sexism lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In fact, maybe you could have wristbands especially for the homophobes who like watching lesbian action?

I'm a homophobe cos I'd like to watch 2 ladies get naughty?

I prefer the term horny male but hey each to their own.

That's not what she said, but hey, if you want to take stuff out of context to suit your own agenda, each to their own...

To put into context I was replying to both the posts she put together. I'm guilty of picking on the more ridiculous (in my opinion) of the 2 posts to reply too yes. I don't do agendas.

And ignored the post she was actually responding to about straight men being offended by being approached at a bi night by bi men because they had come to watch the performing seals(my words, to be clear)?"

Nope I read the post that suggested a male may be upset if not propositioned tactfully. Quite a reasonable statement I thought. I'll quantify further. If a chap asks me if I'm interested I'll politely decline. If he comes on to me then I'll get pissed off. Is this not the same courtesy that we expect anyone to receive? I don't believe that makes me a homophobe.

I am sure there are many people, both men and women who enjoy the visual stimulus of a sex act, without involvent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read."

Therein lies the problem. It can be taken a different way. And it bloody well was. I'd imagine that most people posting in here picked up the ability to read and write. Interpretation of the written word has caused wars in the past. You interpreted the earlier persons post about a man being upset about being propositioned. Or at least so it seems to me. See what I did there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night. but you are targeting the male, no mention of a straight woman being offended at being propositioned by a bi or gay woman, isn't that sexism lol."

Absolutely. Cuts both ways. I think the point is no one should assume anything. Ask politely and there is no issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night. but you are targeting the male, no mention of a straight woman being offended at being propositioned by a bi or gay woman, isn't that sexism lol."

I was responding to a comment by someone else which said that a man might be upset if another man propositioned him at a bi night.

The poster I was responding to did not mention women, so I did not mention women.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

Bi nights should be for bi people. If you're the straight half of a couple where your partner is bi then you should be grown up enough to know that you're at a bi event and quite likely to be propositioned. If that is likely to offend then you shouldn't be there - go on one of the other 6 nights of the week. If you're a straight single then you shouldn't be there. A bi night should not be for playing 'are you bi or straight' guessing games - the assumption would be that you're bi, if you're not just say so but don't get arsey about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bi nights should be for bi people. If you're the straight half of a couple where your partner is bi then you should be grown up enough to know that you're at a bi event and quite likely to be propositioned. If that is likely to offend then you shouldn't be there - go on one of the other 6 nights of the week. If you're a straight single then you shouldn't be there. A bi night should not be for playing 'are you bi or straight' guessing games - the assumption would be that you're bi, if you're not just say so but don't get arsey about it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read."

The possibility of homophobes turning up at a bi night would be extremely rare. Your original post says more about your attitude towards straight people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read.

The possibility of homophobes turning up at a bi night would be extremely rare. Your original post says more about your attitude towards straight people. "

I don't have any attitudes to straight people at all - one of my partners is straight.

My comment was, that if a guy gets arsey because he's propositioned by a man at a bisexual night, then he's clearly a complete raving homophobe. Because he wouldn't get arsey if he wasn't - he's just say 'no thanks', like any decent human.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read.

The possibility of homophobes turning up at a bi night would be extremely rare. Your original post says more about your attitude towards straight people.

I don't have any attitudes to straight people at all - one of my partners is straight.

My comment was, that if a guy gets arsey because he's propositioned by a man at a bisexual night, then he's clearly a complete raving homophobe. Because he wouldn't get arsey if he wasn't - he's just say 'no thanks', like any decent human."
most people get arsey if they are propositioned in an inappropriate way. The gender of either person is irrelevant and your statement about a straight partner is nothing less than patronising.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"The possibility of homophobes turning up at a bi night would be extremely rare."

Have you been to a bi night at a club? There are many guys who think they will be able to get to the fanny while the poofters are playing with each other. It makes it very difficult for bi guys to enjoy the 1 night of the week they can play openly without getting grief. Often the clubs are at fault for advertising it as a bi night but then saying all welcome.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"It could have been taken that way which is what I pointed out

No it couldn't. Not if you can actually read.

The possibility of homophobes turning up at a bi night would be extremely rare. Your original post says more about your attitude towards straight people.

I don't have any attitudes to straight people at all - one of my partners is straight.

My comment was, that if a guy gets arsey because he's propositioned by a man at a bisexual night, then he's clearly a complete raving homophobe. Because he wouldn't get arsey if he wasn't - he's just say 'no thanks', like any decent human.most people get arsey if they are propositioned in an inappropriate way. The gender of either person is irrelevant and your statement about a straight partner is nothing less than patronising. "

A male being propositioned by another male at a bi night is hardly inappropriate. If you're there then expect it. If you don't like the idea of being hit on by the same sex then don't go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no problem being hit on by either sex and if I was at a bi night although the possibility of being approached (which would be no different to anywhere else on the planet) could be anticipated as a possibility I would never be be that presumptuous to expect it to happen.

It is never about the approach but how one is approached. None of this however has anything to do with your original homophobe comment.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"I have no problem being hit on by either sex and if I was at a bi night although the possibility of being approached (which would be no different to anywhere else on the planet) could be anticipated as a possibility I would never be be that presumptuous to expect it to happen.

It is never about the approach but how one is approached. None of this however has anything to do with your original homophobe comment. "

I don't think I mentioned homophobe.

I think Wasphunter was saying that some men at bi nights do react to the mere approach from another male and therefore might not be exactly homophile. It is not how they are approached, but the mere approach that seems to phase them.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night."

why does that make him a homophobe? he isnt anti gay people he just isnt interested in men and was uncomfortable with a man coming onto him. ok he went to a bi night so perhaps should have expected it but it doesnt mean he has to like it does it?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Hi, we are going to hold our first bi/bi curious night on June 12th in Leicester...

Do you think wristbands would be helpful to show if you are bi/bi curious or not

or do you think its just better to leave people to it"

i'd just leave them to it but make it clear on entry that bi play is welcomed within the environment and if anyone had an issue with it then they should perhaps choose another night to attend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bi nights should be for bi people. If you're the straight half of a couple where your partner is bi then you should be grown up enough to know that you're at a bi event and quite likely to be propositioned. If that is likely to offend then you shouldn't be there - go on one of the other 6 nights of the week. If you're a straight single then you shouldn't be there. A bi night should not be for playing 'are you bi or straight' guessing games - the assumption would be that you're bi, if you're not just say so but don't get arsey about it."

I agree people would assume. Again it's more about how people approach you. A cheery hey up mate you up for a bit of fun is no problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because someone is straight doesn't make them a homophobe

My comment was in response to the idea that a straight man might be upset at the thought of being propositioned by a man, at a bi night.

why does that make him a homophobe? he isnt anti gay people he just isnt interested in men and was uncomfortable with a man coming onto him. ok he went to a bi night so perhaps should have expected it but it doesnt mean he has to like it does it?"

Exactly. It's acceptable to be uncomfortable about something that is not your thing. Doesn't make you a homophobe.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"Exactly. It's acceptable to be uncomfortable about something that is not your thing. Doesn't make you a homophobe. "

And that beggars the question why was he at a bi night. If he is uncomfortanble with being approached by a guy he shouldn't be at a bi night. The thread is about bi nights - expect to be approached by the same sex if you're there, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of that then don't go - simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Exactly. It's acceptable to be uncomfortable about something that is not your thing. Doesn't make you a homophobe.

And that beggars the question why was he at a bi night. If he is uncomfortanble with being approached by a guy he shouldn't be at a bi night. The thread is about bi nights - expect to be approached by the same sex if you're there, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of that then don't go - simples."

As a partner of a bi woman as an exsmple. Might be she feels safer if he's around. Other than that though your right.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"As a partner of a bi woman as an exsmple. Might be she feels safer if he's around. Other than that though your right.

"

A bi woman can have bi fun any night of the week at a club. No one turns a hair at 2 women playing on a normal club night and in our considerable club experience it is not difficult for a woman to find another woman to play with on any night. Bi nights are nights when bi men can play openly without getting grief. If the straight partner of a bi woman is uncomfortable with being approached by a man on a bi night then maybe the couple need to reappraise what nights they go to clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What interests me in all of this stems from Wasp Hunters comment about the "intolerant homophobe".

Presumably she considers a "tolerant homophobe" to be quite acceptable?

Or am i not reading this at all correctly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a partner of a bi woman as an exsmple. Might be she feels safer if he's around. Other than that though your right.

A bi woman can have bi fun any night of the week at a club. No one turns a hair at 2 women playing on a normal club night and in our considerable club experience it is not difficult for a woman to find another woman to play with on any night. Bi nights are nights when bi men can play openly without getting grief. If the straight partner of a bi woman is uncomfortable with being approached by a man on a bi night then maybe the couple need to reappraise what nights they go to clubs."

Your right and wrong.

Yes it's probably much easier if they avoid that night. But should they have too?

To make it simple if I go to a club on any night I don't wish to be approached by unwelcome people of either sex. The people that are approaching me don't know whether they are welcome or not. As was the original commenters point it is a case of how that approach is made not by whom. In the context of this thread it was a man approaching another man. But look at the bigger picture. An unwelcome approach is an unwelcome approach. A person just simply might not be in the mood. There are many reasons. Bringing it back to the context of this post. A man or indeed a woman at a bi event is not an excuse for a person to go diving in.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"As a partner of a bi woman as an exsmple. Might be she feels safer if he's around. Other than that though your right.

A bi woman can have bi fun any night of the week at a club. No one turns a hair at 2 women playing on a normal club night and in our considerable club experience it is not difficult for a woman to find another woman to play with on any night. Bi nights are nights when bi men can play openly without getting grief. If the straight partner of a bi woman is uncomfortable with being approached by a man on a bi night then maybe the couple need to reappraise what nights they go to clubs."

So should ni nights be re-branded as bi men nights if it's mainly that reason that they exist?

Of course it would be great not to have specific nights for bi people and everyone just do their thing with who they like on any night.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"Your right and wrong.

Yes it's probably much easier if they avoid that night. But should they have too?

To make it simple if I go to a club on any night I don't wish to be approached by unwelcome people of either sex. The people that are approaching me don't know whether they are welcome or not. As was the original commenters point it is a case of how that approach is made not by whom. In the context of this thread it was a man approaching another man. But look at the bigger picture. An unwelcome approach is an unwelcome approach. A person just simply might not be in the mood. There are many reasons. Bringing it back to the context of this post. A man or indeed a woman at a bi event is not an excuse for a person to go diving in.

"

No one has suggested 'diving in' from what I can see. Normal etiquette still applies. Everyone has the right to refuse an approach and should expect to be approached politely.

This thread took a turning about 5 posts down when it was suggested that straight men might be offended by an approach from another man. My argument is that becoming upset because you are propositioned by the same sex, merely because it's the same sex and for no other reason, is not on at a bi night. If you do take offence to being asked politely if you want to play by someone of the same sex then clearly you shouldn't be there. On a normal night then being propositioned by same sex could cause offence merely because it's same sex and it's very unlikely that a bi male would make such an approach - bi women are another story.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford


"So should ni nights be re-branded as bi men nights if it's mainly that reason that they exist?

Of course it would be great not to have specific nights for bi people and everyone just do their thing with who they like on any night. "

There is no need to re-brand a bi night - it's a night for bi people (male and female) and bi-friendly people.

The reality of club life is bi women are able, even expected, to play openly on any night of the week. Not so for bi males. Hence bi nights really exist to allow bi males somewhere to play openly, just as straight males can the other 6 days of the week.

The argument was that a bi woman should be allowed to bring her easily offended straight chaperone so that she can have bi play. I would say she has 6 other days where she can do that without her partner causing offence to bi people.

Straight but bi-friendly guys are no problem, they would know how to say no with a smile.

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