FabSwingers.com forum: Changed Club scene

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Firstly sorry if this has been discussed already, but I've started to notice a big change in swinging clubs over the last year or more.

When I first started swinging 8 years ago the whole scene seemed friendlier, as newbies we had plenty of couples approach us not just for play but chat and help us when nervous. Since then I've always tried where possible to do the same.

Recently I've started to notice people stick to Groups and seldom talk to anybody else.

I know we're not blameless as we find it hard to chat but sometimes it can be daunting trying to chat to a large group.

Has anyone else noticed this or am I just paranoid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly sorry if this has been discussed already, but I've started to notice a big change in swinging clubs over the last year or more.

Recently I've started to notice people stick to Groups and seldom talk to anybody else.

I know we're not blameless as we find it hard to chat but sometimes it can be daunting trying to chat to a large group.

Has anyone else noticed this or am I just paranoid. "

we have noticed it and it's something we try to avoid when newbies come to our local clubs.

We tend to introduce people to others And that means they chat..

Have noticed it at other clubs too and have found it hard to get chat going but we just find the friendly people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We try the same, it's never easy being new in fact it's scary. I think some of the problem is sites like this, it's easier to arrange with swinging friends a night where your all together for a night out. I feel it's killing the social aspect of the scene that's what I loved about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly why we started a specific newbie night! As we noticed people sticking to there social groups and new couples kinda left on a limb, so we thought why not have a newbie night specifically geared to newbies with extra staff and hosts on hand and a specific remit to the regulars to interact with everyone

So far for the majority it has worked x

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By *ewexperience83Couple
over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

We're newbies and never really experienced this, just lucky I guess.

Each time we've been to a club people have come over to chat to us xx

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By *andyMooCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I think it varied from club to club some clubs are very friendly and others not so.

We have been to loads of clubs over 6 years and and have only felt like an outsider in one of them.

Look out for the newbie nights it's very comforting to know most of the people there are feeling exactly the same way you are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's good to read about people's positive experiences. Glad that some established folks will seek out newbies and make the effort to talk to talk to them. It can be very hard for new people - especially if you are solo. I think people can underestimate this.

Yes, it's that persons problem - but it's also partly the responsibility of others there, club owners, event organisers to make people feel welcome.

It's very easy to just chat to those you know - and leave people out. Not just at clubs, but in almost any social situation.

We were all new or solo at some point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often heard this & years ago too. I think that people can be a bit self conscious of the fact that they have their sexuality on show, albeit in front of others doing the same. This can & often does, subdue even the most extrovert person. So when people say that others are "clicky" or "aloof" maybe it's because they are avoiding eye contact because of self-conscientiousness. However if you were to approach them, then maybe they are quite friendly after all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We're newbies and never really experienced this, just lucky I guess.

Each time we've been to a club people have come over to chat to us xx"

I think it can depend on the club and which night as I never found this when I used to go JCT2

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I often heard this & years ago too. I think that people can be a bit self conscious of the fact that they have their sexuality on show, albeit in front of others doing the same. This can & often does, subdue even the most extrovert person. So when people say that others are "clicky" or "aloof" maybe it's because they are avoiding eye contact because of self-conscientiousness. However if you were to approach them, then maybe they are quite friendly after all. "

I'm not going to disagree with you on this however in my experience some of the nation culprits are the biggest exhibitionist

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By *iccardaTV/TS
over a year ago

Wallasey

i came into the swinging scene very recently from the BDSM scene and found it amazingly social. The BDSM scene has this debate all the time about how it handles new people and i tend to think the scene is just cyclical, people join, make friends, move on, more people join. What i have always liked about the swinging scene is while most of the people i have met are not into playing with TGirls, they are always happy to chat and over time i have met and developed good friendships with several ladies its fantastic

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i came into the swinging scene very recently from the BDSM scene and found it amazingly social. The BDSM scene has this debate all the time about how it handles new people and i tend to think the scene is just cyclical, people join, make friends, move on, more people join. What i have always liked about the swinging scene is while most of the people i have met are not into playing with TGirls, they are always happy to chat and over time i have met and developed good friendships with several ladies its fantastic

It's not every single person find this I have just noticed this over the recent years maybe it would have been different had I had have been attending every year rather than stopping and starting. When I stayed there was no fab Swingers so keeping in contact wasn't as easy so that has both helped and hindered the social aspect.

I agree with the t-girl comment I have had many a good chat with a few thoroughly nice people and very social

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By *rummiePartyManMan
over a year ago

birmingham

Two points.

Firstly, we were all a bit younger 8-10 years ago and therefore more attractive to other people...

Secondly, we are now faced with a new generation of people who simply don't talk to each other any more under any circumstances. It's not just a swinging scene thing, it's the whole of society. People simply prefer typing to each other instead of talking...why else to people take half an hour to say in a series of ping pong texts what they could say in 5 minutes of conversation?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Two points.

Firstly, we were all a bit younger 8-10 years ago and therefore more attractive to other people...

This is very true, and something else I just read was there are more non English speaking people these days

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