FabSwingers.com forum: Want to go to a swingers club but feel being a single guy there alone comes with a bit of a stigma..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im realistic and can see that single guys aren't the most desired scene members but understand why as I would think the same. Am I too judgemental or as realistic as I claim?

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By *punkyhelmet5Man
over a year ago

Weston-super-mare

I always go to clubs on my own mate but if you dont make the effort to talk to people you will be wasting your time. No stigma involved tho mate. Effort = Rewards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to club nights when single males are welcome. Many couples/single fems actively seek out single males for fun. Act appropriately and you should be fine. Be less judgemental and you may enjoy. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im polite and can start and continue a conversation with new people confidently, I dont know what will be like and reckon most will be polite and friendly but also would see me with a lable of single male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Greedy girls nights are the best way to start. No stigma there at all, just respect that no, no thanks or a hand pushing you away gently actually means no thanks. x

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

"Im polite and can start and continue a conversation with new people confidently, I dont know what will be like and reckon most will be polite and friendly but also would see me with a lable of single male"

You are whatever you portray yourself as. If you feel you are the less desirable demographic in a situation you are going to come across as such.

As already said - there is a very good reason people other than single males attend "singles allowed" nights. Those tgat get it and behave appropriately do very well out of it generally.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

I may not be your preferred target of interest in a club, but I've noticed something about some single guys.

Many come in, buy a drink and then just mooch around. They don't approach anyone & occasionally wander off to the rooms to see if there is any action.

For gawds sake, talk to us! Say hello, offer to buy a drink etc, just like you would in a bar. If you don't put the effort in why would anyone bother with you?

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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago

wrexham

Make sure you speak to both partners if you're talking to couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww no I like single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We also like single guys but as said previously ... talk to us ! Come over and have a chat . Good luck .

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By *ewexperience83Couple
over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

Yep like most have said , just chat to us.

We've been to a club and each time single fellas are just mooching around.

Last time we went me and hubby we're talking to another couple in the hot tub and a guy just stood there saying nothing.

I know it's nerve wracking but even hello would of helped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its really nice to see the positive responses on this....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man goes to a night that allows in single guys then he should not worry about how others see him as the whole point of the night will be people who want singles.

Just use some common sense and you will be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always sit in the bar area of a club and see if anyone wants to start a conversation then move off into the hot tub . But most guys wait untill we are playing before asking if they can join in ! By then its to late as we are either playing with someone else or just by ourselves .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us single women need single guys at clubs, but I agree with the others, most don't speak or socialise, I nearly always have to make the first move!

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

[Removed by poster at 07/09/14 22:27:54]

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

[Removed by poster at 07/09/14 22:27:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Us single women need single guys at clubs, but I agree with the others, most don't speak or socialise, I nearly always have to make the first move!

Right. Noted -!! Must Socialise.. must Speak....

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By *uckspilgrimMan
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I think most have summed it up well, I go to clubs and was very unsure first, but if you speak to people it does help. Be as confident as possible, good luck

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By *lovisMan
over a year ago

Twickenham

My opinion : play the long game. Engage with both members of a couple and single ladies. Don't automatically steer the conversation onto sex and playing in the first encounter, most people can figure out why you are there. Circulate and engage, you're bound to find someone you will have a rapport with. Once the evening or event progresses and people are looking to play then by creating a positive image they are more likely to consider you as a candidate for inclusion. You might end of leaving the first event without playing - that's just the way things go. Next time though at the event there will be people there who you will have met before and so interaction is easier as you've already laid down the foundations.

I'm no sex god but I've worked hard to forge relationships and friendships at a club. It takes time but the rewards are worth it, but you have to work at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep like most have said , just chat to us.

We've been to a club and each time single fellas are just mooching around.

Last time we went me and hubby we're talking to another couple in the hot tub and a guy just stood there saying nothing.

I know it's nerve wracking but even hello would of helped

Interesting reading this thread and good advice for a club 'virgin' hoping to get to a club soon.

I guess it can at times be difficult to approach people if they're already talking (e.g. like above, 2 couples already chatting) - it's a fine line I guess between being trying to be sociable and friendly and 'butting in' to a private conversation.

I guess it's all down to the approach, being courteous and respectful and not getting upset if there's a polite 'bugger off please'

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

New Cross

I love meeting single guys and I generally go alone to my local club alone too. Remember first impressions count. Smile and socialise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't agree more!!

I'm a single straight fem - so am generally only interested in single males and would never go to a couples only night!

I regularly go to clubs alone, and find that standing near the bar and chatting to people generally, whether you want to 'shag' them or not, helps you make friends and get noticed, and to me personality is every bit as important as looks in choosing a sex partner! After all, it's still a mini relationship!!

Good luck sweetie! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Us single women need single guys at clubs, but I agree with the others, most don't speak or socialise, I nearly always have to make the first move!

"
By comeing on fab and on the forum you get useful Information on how

or what to do perhaps a lot of guys Don,t get this info anywhere and blindly

Go into swingers clubs with no idea how

To act if so its good here for everything on chat and picking up

Useful tips I find the biggest

Majority of people on here great

And friendly folk..

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 08/09/14 13:26:42]

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

I love what Clovis said...your time in a swingers club should be worked on and be more like building friendships than quickies.

At our club we know that single guys can be just as nervous as couples and girls and one of the main questions we get asked, is 'where the hell do I start and how do I actually meet people for play'. Well that is the million dollar question isn't it. Lots of people above have given you some great advice here.

What we do is bring our new guys in on an introduction night and we calm them down, settle them in, show them around when the club is closed and give them advice on how to get along in a swingers club and what couples/ladies are looking for in potential play partners. We find that the guys who want to walk in get a shag and go home, leave after the intro and don't come back. Those that are willing to invest time and effort into their swinging experience will stay and take the good advice that is given to them. What we find is that we are left with lovely guys who 'get it'.

I feel for single guys sometimes and you really do get a raw deal at times but you have some of your male counterparts to thank for that.

There are tons of couples and ladies who are looking for nice, respectful guys...it's down to you to invest time in convincing them that you are not just a dick with a dick.

Good luck

Vic and Jim xxxx

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

"Last time we went me and hubby we're talking to another couple in the hot tub and a guy just stood there saying nothing.

I know it's nerve wracking but even hello would of helped

Perhaps you could have been the ones to smile and say "Hello". He might have considered that you were deep in conversation with the other couple and not been willing to jump in and interrupt. Surely it to be worse when some strange geezer butts in, uninvited?

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

I've been on the club seen for over 30 years and I've never had a problem meeting people just talk to them like you would any ware else you would go and you will be ok,just enjoy.

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