FabSwingers.com forum: Not Enuff Real Swingers!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

we've found having been swinging for over 5 years now and been to a fair few swinging club over the country that seems nowadays that is not enough real swingers in the clubs today!

You have to expect newbies of course and couples have to start somewhere but these last 2 years we've noticed a decline in what we think are 'real swingers who have intention to talk to to others in the club!..

There's to many couples that prefer to sit down all nite with no intention of interacting or there's couples there that are soft or full swap and still walk past you in the club like passing ships in the nite then leave a bad re_iew for that club when we know exactly what it was like that night!.

Real swingers we find are not having as much fun these days in club as i think there's to many wannabes leaving the real couples wondering what they've done with there nite.

Does anyone else seem to think there's a band wagon people are joining and going to clubs for something to do as we think so?

It not that we want to see things happen in the club like all the rooms being taken up but having been to may clubs over the years were finding that people are just drinking and smoking and that's it!

Has anyone else noticed this or are been to judgemental??

would love to hear couples thought's and singles too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was our first time at adventures for the last virgins night. We were a little nervous and just wanted to get a feel for people. Some were nice enough to chat with us and made us feel really welcome and part of the ambience.

Like to think we didn't spend the evening tucked away in a corner, had a good wander round and enjoyed the sights n sounds within and we'll certainly be back to indulge further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real swingers?

Real couples ?

Really ??

Folk will use the lifestyle as they see fit,and certainly shouldn't be made to feel forced or shunned because their pace isn't up to the speed of others.

Everyone is real and everyone is entitled to live their lives their own way

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

We do find couples playing but tend to agree with you that a lot don't,we can only stay at clubs.between 9 and 1am so don't know how much goes on once we left

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What i'm trying to say is that the real swingers who sometimes are in there to meet other swingers are finding out there isn't alot we find that are ready for clubs!

Even if you are newbies soft or full swap in my opinion your all in there for the same thing so why not talk to others!to just to many walk about and don't even say hi even thoe people have spoke and then they end up leaving clubs early.

To me there's to many timewaisters int he clubs these days going for the social side.NO BODY FORCES anyone to anything but when you see the same cpls day in day out standing wedged against the bar you do to begin to question why these people are there in the beginning!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We do find couples playing but tend to agree with you that a lot don't,we can only stay at clubs.between 9 and 1am so don't know how much goes on once we left"

I agree with yoursleves its not all about playing but come on you can't sit there all nite not saying nothing then expect leave reveiws saying nothing happpened when them selves did nothing too..lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand what you're saying- if everyone just goes to a club for a drink then it's pointless people going as they may as well go to a pub.

However.... people can do what they want. Clubs aren't for guaranteed shags. If we go to a club and there's no-one we fancy, we don't play. We shouldn't be looked down on for that. It doesn't mean we're not 'real swingers'.

Perhaps arrange to meet a couple there, so you have the potential of some play?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some go for the social side. Some just want to be watched, some want to watch... Others well you get the picture..

There are no such things as real swingers just different definitions.... And as for real couples, well we don't count as one really but at a club no one would know that. We play together and separate but always watch out for the other.. although as we are very social we wouldn't be a problem to you

Just enjoy your night ... And don't worry about others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Real swingers ??? Not sure what your getting at, does everyone not have a Choice who they choose to interact with and who not too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.NO BODY FORCES anyone to anything but when you see the same cpls day in day out standing wedged against the bar you do to begin to question why these people are there in the beginning!"

Nobody is forcing them through the door,so it's obvious something in there appeals to them.doesn't make them any less real.they just aren't what you are looking for,or you them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because they're not talking to you doesn't mean they aren't swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't always play when we attend clubs. for us its about the social side 2 if we play we see it as a bonus.Its a good night out what ever we get up 2

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I put this in the other thread you started....

want a frank and blunt answer... okay.. here it comes!..

judgemental!!!!!

I hate the term "Real Swingers"... it is one of those phrases that gets people's backs up and the people who use it tend to think of themselves on some sort of higher plain then the rest of us mere mortals.....

just because i am at a club... playing isn't the be all and end all... and to be honest some of the best nights I have experienced have been those chatting to people and the time just flies by!

I don't see chatting to people I have no intention of playing with as "wasted conversation"....

they may walk past you like ships in the night.... but then again... it still takes two!!... it bothers you that much, there is a solution... go up to people and talk to them!!!

brilliant phrase: "if everyone waits on someone else to do something, invariably nothing gets done!"

a club night is what you make of it.... you want to play... go play....

you want to watch... go watch...

Exhibitionists, Voyeurs, BDSM, Gloryholes, Chat with people in the smoking areas.... there is normally something for everyone...

the fixation on people who may approach their swinging in a different way is astonishing... just concentrate on the things you control, rather then trying to control what other people do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We went xt phukt event with over 300 people and not one room did we see anone playing so come on 300 people in one club and nothing happens says it all!..we've spoken to many cpls before and put ourselves out but u can't spend yer nite every saturday talking the nite away! What people are not understanding is that if they have come to meet swingers then they leave a bad re_iew whewn we've seen them just sit there all nite is not rite!!..I'm just defending people who wanna go out and talk to people na dif anything happens its a bonus but its not happening that much no more! Most people are just propped against the bar and this is not just my opnion this is speaking for a lot of couples up and down the country!.a swinging club is not a workingmans club nor a pub! But come on folks at aleast talk to people in there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair, 'some' not 'all' couples ignore the newbies. We tried saying hello to most in there to be met with blank expressions quite a few times.

Others might just be shy or might just have arranged to go with somebody and that's why they don't chat. As long as you're having a good time does it matter that much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good lord, dread to think what you'd think of me as out of 5 club visits as a single girl I only played on one of them. I go to clubs for exactly what you says real swingers shouldn't use them for, the social side. I like talking to people I share an interest with and in a swingers club you kind of have the same interest as everyone else in there.

What's the issue with going just to socialise with other swingers? If you don't do that at clubs where do you suggest that can be done?

Also are you making the effort to talk to the other people or are you waiting for them to speak to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I put this in the other thread you started....

want a frank and blunt answer... okay.. here it comes!..

judgemental!!!!!

just because i am at a club... playing isn't the be all and end all... and to be honest some of the best nights I have experienced have been those chatting to people and the time just flies by!

I don't see chatting to people I have no intention of playing with as "wasted conversation"....

they may walk past you like ships in the night.... but then again... it still takes two!!... it bothers you that much, there is a solution... go up to people and talk to them!!!

brilliant phrase: "if everyone waits on someone else to do something, invariably nothing gets done!"

a club night is what you make of it.... you want to play... go play....

you want to watch... go watch...

Exhibitionists, Voyeurs, BDSM, Gloryholes, Chat with people in the smoking areas.... there is normally something for everyone...

the fixation on people who may approach their swinging in a different way is astonishing... just concentrate on the things you control, rather then trying to control what other people do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We went xt phukt event with over 300 people and not one room did we see anone playing so come on 300 people in one club and nothing happens says it all!..we've spoken to many cpls before and put ourselves out but u can't spend yer nite every saturday talking the nite away! What people are not understanding is that if they have come to meet swingers then they leave a bad re_iew whewn we've seen them just sit there all nite is not rite!!..I'm just defending people who wanna go out and talk to people na dif anything happens its a bonus but its not happening that much no more! Most people are just propped against the bar and this is not just my opnion this is speaking for a lot of couples up and down the country!.a swinging club is not a workingmans club nor a pub! But come on folks at aleast talk to people in there!"

We have been to many a club over the years and have never come across clubs where nothing is going on in the rooms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every time ive been in a club ive played, and seen plenty of others playing so don't really see what you are getting at. I like no-pressured environments where you can have fun and socialise. What other people get up to is their business. So are you saying clubs are full of fake swingers OP??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have been to many a club over the years and have never come across clubs where nothing is going on in the rooms"

Well bloody hell you've been lucky then

If anyone can sit there and put there hand on the heart and honestly say that they've been to club and there's always something going on your full of it!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not saying the clubs are fake i'm saying there's not enuf real swingers in the club and that the swingers that do you go out looking for a meet or to make new friends are not even getting that as there's too many couples coming into clubs just for summit do i think!...

Ive been reading many club re_iews up and down the country and ive seen some go down bank now because there is just a clique in there or there just in there for the social side too much!

I knew this post mite of touched a raw nerve with a few people but i'm glad of the response tbh x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been to many a club over the years and have never come across clubs where nothing is going on in the rooms

Well bloody hell you've been lucky then

If anyone can sit there and put there hand on the heart and honestly say that they've been to club and there's always something going on your full of it!!"

We've seen quieter nights than others, but always something going on, Saturday night was an example at chams the cinema and the couples room was busy but the round room was quiet we just went in and played and others soon joined us and we ended up having some fun, we like the social side and have has nights where we haven't played but always seen action going on somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been to many a club over the years and have never come across clubs where nothing is going on in the rooms

Well bloody hell you've been lucky then

If anyone can sit there and put there hand on the heart and honestly say that they've been to club and there's always something going on your full of it!!"

Don't know why you think we are full of it, as we said we have never been to a swingers club, yes a swingers club and nothing has not been going on in any of the rooms, have said that maybe when you's went it's was the wrong time if the month for all 300

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a newbie to the club scene and I love the atmosphere , been about 6 times and played half of them . I talk to a lot of peeps and the stuck up peeps I just ignore . I don't go to play . If it happens it happens , not attracted to alot . But every one has different tastes . Maybe try a different club , I often attend jaydees . Relaxed and friendly with plenty of play going on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In response to the above 300 people in a swinging club for an event theme and nowt happened! wrong time of the month you've just answered my question 300 people and not one room occupied.don't think in anyway were pushy people but finding clubs a bit a of a joke these days thats why we see alot of doing ther private parties i wonder why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gonna jump in here as our event has been mentioned. Will say this regarding it, ourselves and many others that were there will say for a fact that tons of play was going on and has done at all our events. We work closely with XT's and im sure they will agree the play rooms, chill out area were packed with people having fun playing.

Its simple really no one has to do anything at a club, its THEIR preference and we do not expect any of our attendee's to play, we want them to have a good time and meet like minded people which in our eyes is what swinging clubs are about.

If you meet people and click then great but if not having fun, socialising is just as much a part of it as anything else.

There are no rules that define what you have to do at a club ( apart from behaviour wise ) you can watch , socialise , play , chill , chat etc etc thats the beauty of it and long may that live on as far as we are concerned.

The day we have to walk in and start playing immediately because thats the rules is the day we would walk away from swinging clubs.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hear what your saying sam and jammie but i was just using the figures of 300 for just general purpose really as we've attended your event and will be next time too!

What were just saying is that some people are leading the real swingers up the garden path it think you know what i mean

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its cool guys no worries, and appreciate what your saying

We had over 350 at the last one and there were queues to get in the play rooms lol !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its cool guys no worries, and appreciate what your saying

We had over 350 at the last one and there were queues to get in the play rooms lol !!!

lets make it 400 then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its cool guys no worries, and appreciate what your saying

We had over 350 at the last one and there were queues to get in the play rooms lol !!!

lets make it 400 then lol

Thats the plan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hear what your saying sam and jammie but i was just using the figures of 300 for just general purpose really as we've attended your event and will be next time too!

What were just saying is that some people are leading the real swingers up the garden path it think you know what i mean

xxx"

Leading real swingers up the garden path, are these ppl you refer to Pretend swingers, pleas explain what the definition of real swingers are please, just so we know what to look out for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been to many a club over the years and have never come across clubs where nothing is going on in the rooms

Well bloody hell you've been lucky then

If anyone can sit there and put there hand on the heart and honestly say that they've been to club and there's always something going on your full of it!!"

Every club we've been to there have been people playing. Last week it was a quiet night with less than about 20 people in... and there was still people playing!

We had a great night. "full of it"? Hmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP have you considered that you may be giving off a vibe that makes people not want to socialise or p[lay with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh dear

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Its fabswingers not facebook this is my point in question

see... I had that phrase... its really really condescending...

Fabswingers is what they decide they want it to be.... no one else!!!

you don't get a choice in their decision.....

again people fixated on how others use the site...... geez!!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We are regulars at Isis in Leeds and don't always play for various reasons. It would put me off completely if I knew the OPs were watching to see whether we played. And maybe deciding we are fakes because they didn't witness us playing. Judgemental? Yes I'm afraid you are.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Good lord, dread to think what you'd think of me as out of 5 club visits as a single girl I only played on one of them. I go to clubs for exactly what you says real swingers shouldn't use them for, the social side. I like talking to people I share an interest with and in a swingers club you kind of have the same interest as everyone else in there.

Im exactly the same. Just because I rarely play at a club doesnt mean to say I dont meet people that I might shag the arse off another time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well another one if our Christmas card list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its fabswingers not facebook this is my point in question

see... I had that phrase... its really really condescending...

Fabswingers is what they decide they want it to be.... no one else!!!

you don't get a choice in their decision.....

again people fixated on how others use the site...... geez!!!

At the end of the day i say it how it is! But i wud never stoop so low as to send someone a private message like that no matter what i thought!"

In fairness it appears that you re trying (and failing)to use the issue of the PM to distract from the fact no one is agreeing you

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

still waiting for the definition of what "real swingers" are..... the anticipation is killing me!!!

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Thatll teach me to read to the end of the thread before I post...

Time for this to close

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