FabSwingers.com forum: Nervous bloke?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm kinda new to this whole scene and really want to delve deeper into clubs but really suffer from crippling confidence around new people. I went to chams last Friday during the day to enquire about joining up but didn't even make it to the front door. I know I'd be cool once I'd gotten over the initial nerves but as I've heard a million times the first step is the most difficult.

Any tips anyone or anyone willing to a acompany me for my first time into clubs.

Thank you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking into a club is no different than walking into a pub...

in not sure how to help you as i dont see the problem with walking through a door to a building

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Walking into a club is no different than walking into a pub...

in not sure how to help you as i dont see the problem with walking through a door to a building"

pmsl!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get ur name down for an organised social at a club. No preasure to play. U get to see the club, have a drink and chat to new friendly people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think theres a waiting list at chams. Just go in everyone is there for the same thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to admit that we were seriously nervous the first time we walked into a club, as someone has already mentioned put your name down for an organized social!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could always email or ring the club, but to be honest if your that nervous are you sure the club scene is for you ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know I'd be fine after the initial nerves, I've been in bands for years and played in front of hundreds of people so this should be easy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies not everyone has your self-assured nature, although it could equally be insecurity that leads to attacking someone for lack of confidence. It's probably not actually the door that is the problem but im sure you know thatthat

Im guessing it's the social interactions and going in to a venue full of people on your own that's scary.

I have terrible nerves before meets or going to clubs and I drive my OH mad with the shaking, verbalising fears etc.

The only encouragement I can give is that I've gone through with it every time and nothing awful happened.

As someone else suggested a local social might be a good start. Everyone is there to talk so less chance you'll feel a spare part.

If you're polite, respectful and let your personality out im sure you'll get there.

Oh and although im not condoning drinking a single alcoholic drink might leave you sufficiently relaxed to mingle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know I'd be fine after the initial nerves, I've been in bands for years and played in front of hundreds of people so this should be easy"

I'm sorry if I got you wrong from your original post you said you didn't even make it to the door to enquire about membership, so I can't imagine how it would be different to go in and play, as for chams I believe there is a waiting list for single male memberships so I would give them a call or email them about getting on the waiting list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ladies not everyone has your self-assured nature, although it could equally be insecurity that leads to attacking someone for lack of confidence. It's probably not actually the door that is the problem but im sure you know thatthat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid of flying...I mean shaking, sobbing uncontrollably on take off valium popping afraid...do I let it stop me doing the things I want to do? No...asking myself what's the worst that could happen doesn't really work in that scenario isn't much help but in other things in life, that's the question I generally ask...going to a swinging club on your own for the first time? What is actually the worst that could happen? Will you die? Be hideously disfigured? Lose everything? Or is there an outside chance nobody will want to have casual sex with you? Does that put it into perspective for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont you try a spa before a club.....go with the idea of just chilling in hot tub and get used to the atmosphere of being around like minded people?

You,ll find out despite being sexual deviants that the people you meet will be from all walks of life, a club is no different from a pub or restaurant, full of strangers who in this case may just be naked, no ones going to expect anything from you and the word no can be used by you if youre not comfortable..

Go on fella get youre arse through the door....dispell the myths you have and go enjoy

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

Im guessing it's the social interactions and going in to a venue full of people on your own that's scary.

I have terrible nerves before meets or going to clubs and I drive my OH mad with the shaking, verbalising fears etc.

The only encouragement I can give is that I've gone through with it every time and nothing awful happened.

As someone else suggested a local social might be a good start. Everyone is there to talk so less chance you'll feel a spare part.

If you're polite, respectful and let your personality out im sure you'll get there.

Oh and although im not condoning drinking a single alcoholic drink might leave you sufficiently relaxed to mingle.

"
Well said guys. J

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"Get ur name down for an organised social at a club. No preasure to play. U get to see the club, have a drink and chat to new friendly people "

this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you so much, I've tt gotta take the jump and do it. I've heard there's a massive waiting list anyway so I woukd only be enquiring. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers dude I'm gonna do it. I've heard there's a way list so I'd only be going to enquire and join the back of the questions. Nice man anyway, it's much appreciated!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just go in what's the worst could happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you so much, I've tt gotta take the jump and do it. I've heard there's a massive waiting list anyway so I woukd only be enquiring. Thank you x"

New paradise club hold regular socials, it's a small friendly club which is less daunting than the larger clubs, and can vouch the regulars are a chatty friendly bunch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could always email or ring the club, but to be honest if your that nervous are you sure the club scene is for you ?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could always email or ring the club, but to be honest if your that nervous are you sure the club scene is for you ?

I would say yes, it's worth trying to fight your confidence issues. As I said I am a wreck but once I'm inside I soon relax and when I get physical you'd think I was the last person who has to fight nerves. If you don't facethese things you withdraw further from stuff that challenges you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of clubs hold socials organised by someone on here, check out the swinging clubs section in the forum and see if there's one you fancy. Put your name down and just go for it, its a good way to try somewhere without needing membership up front.

If you do decide to go to a social get there early so you can get your bearings before they get busy.

Once there be polite and friendly, chat to people but don't go with expectations and just enjoy the event. If you do get the chance to play then its a bonus.

Hope that helps.

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By *indys loverCouple
over a year ago

Stratford on avon

"I'm afraid of flying...I mean shaking, sobbing uncontrollably on take off valium popping afraid...do I let it stop me doing the things I want to do? No...asking myself what's the worst that could happen doesn't really work in that scenario isn't much help but in other things in life, that's the question I generally ask...going to a swinging club on your own for the first time? What is actually the worst that could happen? Will you die? Be hideously disfigured? Lose everything? Or is there an outside chance nobody will want to have casual sex with you? Does that put it into perspective for you? "

hmmmmmm I know what you mean about a fear of certain things ,

theres a vacuum cleaner in the corner of the hallway ,,,,, im sure our kids have a fear of using the thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheers dude I'm gonna do it. I've heard there's a way list so I'd only be going to enquire and join the back of the questions. Nice man anyway, it's much appreciated!! "

No waiting list at Xtasia!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers obi I'll take a look.

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By *orny_4UMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Thinking of trying Jaydees for the first time on Friday 14th. Is it a good choice for a single guy? Its been a while since I tried the club scene and thought I would try as fairly handy for Peterborough. I know every night is different but 'on average' are single guys welcome on Friday nights at Jaydees?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just go in what's the worst could happen."
last time I went in a club I told them ive been graped . They said " Do you mean raped " I said " No there was a bunch of em

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