FabSwingers.com forum: Realising clubs ain't for me

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After planning on visiting a club for the first time for a couple of weeks now, I've come to a realisation that its just not for me.

I'm not chickening out or making up excuses. I'm just not sure if I would feel comfortable with it.

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By *ldestswingerintownMan
over a year ago

Lancaster

what exactly is it that makes you feel uncomfortable? - other people having sex in your vicinity? - not being able to find someone with whom to have sex? - something else?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't feel comfortable watching or joining people in a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After planning on visiting a club for the first time for a couple of weeks now, I've come to a realisation that its just not for me.

I'm not chickening out or making up excuses. I'm just not sure if I would feel comfortable with it."

How do you know until you try it out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its jusy not for me ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't feel comfortable watching or joining people in a club."

then dont go.what made you want to in the first place then anyway.

i must say though you are missing out of a good way to meet ppl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to watch or join in, just chat and network which may lead to further meets away from a club

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why bother posting if you don't want people to talk about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't feel comfortable watching or joining people in a club.

then dont go.what made you want to in the first place then anyway.

i must say though you are missing out of a good way to meet ppl"

I thought it was a good idea at the time as I'm having no luck on here at all.

Maybe I should give up altogether

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social. "

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live"

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live"

You're just one big ball of positivity ain't cha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its jusy not for me ok"

Yep, got it loud and clear chief. Why bother starting a thread if you don't want any feedback though? Seems a little needy and 'look at me' to be honest.

If you think its not for you, then its your decision and you shouldn't go, quite simply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv never been to a club I would love to go to one but I ain't got the bottle even just to see what's it's like (chicken)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd."

Thats too far for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd.

Thats too far for me"

Sounds like excuse after excuse to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Johnathan there is always a fab social night out in manchester every few months.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd.

Thats too far for me"

No socials up near you

You dont want to go to clubs dont.

This site isn't working for you? No one is forcing you to be here.

Did you even look in meets/uk/socials?

Effort and attitude in = what you get out. Within Life, sex, and definitely on here. Harsh? Maybe. You're an adult and ya know, if you want it to happen; take responsibility for it to happen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Johnathan there is always a fab social night out in manchester every few months. "

I don't go out at night due to living with my parents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wind up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Johnathan there is always a fab social night out in manchester every few months.

I don't go out at night due to living with my parents"

Have you got a curfew?

What time do you need to be home by?

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Doom and gloom who needs it?:-/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giving up and putting no effort in is the only way you'll guarantee a result... it might not be the result you want though.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd.

Thats too far for me

No socials up near you

You dont want to go to clubs dont.

This site isn't working for you? No one is forcing you to be here.

Did you even look in meets/uk/socials?

Effort and attitude in = what you get out. Within Life, sex, and definitely on here. Harsh? Maybe. You're an adult and ya know, if you want it to happen; take responsibility for it to happen."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok fine. The main problem is I'm not good at socialising as I have Aspergers syndrome. Yes I'm an adult but if I could take responsibility, I would but its not that simple for me

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

Ok so it looks to me like your confidence has been knocked.

I went to a club for the first time on Sat night too.. it was fun, but nothing happened.

My confidence was knocked a bit too, then the wine wore off a bit and I realised that I had been too nervous to give anyone signs of interest!

But I had a great time, and next time I will definately make more of an effort to socialise.. not for sex, just to be friendly.

So try not to go with any expectations, mingle and chat and have a good night out.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

I have no idea what asperg is.... Forgive me for being ignorant... But!

A few points:

1) if clubs are not for you and you know that.. don't whinge... Just don't go.

2) about being social... You CAN be social... You just have to work at it. It also pays off to try.

3) I was also nervous about clubs BUT I went to my first last night! It takes balls but its good when you get in there and you chat with people. The more you chat, the more confident you get.

If you want my advice....

Throw yourself in at the deep end. Go to the gym... Make friends... Flirt with girls at supermarkets... etc.... Do everything social and you'll become good at it.

Good luck!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I thought the same until I went to a Forum social. And I've got my name down for another

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

"After planning on visiting a club for the first time for a couple of weeks now, I've come to a realisation that its just not for me.

I'm not chickening out or making up excuses. I'm just not sure if I would feel comfortable with it."

I'm sure you're a good looking fella, and quite normal in behaviour. Just give it a try mate, then at least you can say that you've ticked one thing in your list. If I can go to a swingers' club and I am as shy as they come, I'm sure you can x

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

"Ok fine. The main problem is I'm not good at socialising as I have Aspergers syndrome. Yes I'm an adult but if I could take responsibility, I would but its not that simple for me"

That explains why you found it so stressful.

Like I said, don't have any expectations. Go looking for friends

Best of luck xx

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

"After planning on visiting a club for the first time for a couple of weeks now, I've come to a realisation that its just not for me.

I'm not chickening out or making up excuses. I'm just not sure if I would feel comfortable with it."

Look into the Club/meets section and join a forum social, there is no pressure to play or do anything you do not want to do. Your whole evening can be spent chatting to people, making friends and just testing the waters!!!

It is daunting going to a club for the first time but its such a small challenge compared to every day's life!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"After planning on visiting a club for the first time for a couple of weeks now, I've come to a realisation that its just not for me.

I'm not chickening out or making up excuses. I'm just not sure if I would feel comfortable with it."

That is fine and you know they are not for everyone, but at least I would have given it a try before dismissing out of hand....

Going back to the thread you started about not getting meets and asking for advice.... As long as you realise you are closing off a big avenue without at least trying...

Hopefully you won't start another ideas and advice thread as people did take time out to contribute ... My feeling would be why bother if it goes in one ear and out other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully you won't start another ideas and advice thread as people did take time out to contribute ... My feeling would be why bother if it goes in one ear and out other"

I must admit this is my opinion too. This will sound brutally harsh but OP you have started numerous threads seeking advice and you ignore it all. I am not making light of aspergers but you use it as an excuse to justify not being able to do everything that is suggested. Almost every post in response to you is supportive and encouraging - what more can people say to try and help you?

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By *att44695Man
over a year ago

Buxton

Hi ive had a look at the social diary jobbie and can't find the 2nd Nov meet in Sheff ! Am i being thick Here ? POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ! Please ! Matt

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

This post has to be a wind up, if its not then trainspotters don't make the best swingers we guess.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Hi ive had a look at the social diary jobbie and can't find the 2nd Nov meet in Sheff ! Am i being thick Here ? POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ! Please ! Matt

Look in the meet requests and parties forum. If you put sheffield in the forum search box it should come up.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Ok fine. The main problem is I'm not good at socialising as I have Aspergers syndrome. Yes I'm an adult but if I could take responsibility, I would but its not that simple for me"

So what are you wanting us to do about it?

You don't want to go to clubs then don't.

Sheffield is too far then don't go.

You can't go out at night, uh, when were you expecting to have meets?

Were you perhaps expecting an influx of messages saying oh you poor thing, please come round and have sex with me?

This is your life. It's up to you to manage it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its just not that easy. When it comes to certain tasks, I need to be shown what to do in order for me to learn and if I'm left to do it by myself, I get frustrated and give up.

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

It seems to us you need a regular date more than an active life on this scene, which to be honest, probably isn't for you, basing that view purely on the comments made thus far.

Your original statement however gives the wrong impression, that you have tried clubs and they're not for you. You haven't tried clubs at all, you have come to a decision, based on other factors, that you feel you cannot attend clubs, which is fair enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok fine. The main problem is I'm not good at socialising as I have Aspergers syndrome. Yes I'm an adult but if I could take responsibility, I would but its not that simple for me"

Must be very mild cos u seem the function very highly to be able to have a profile here with pics andhave already performed on cam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have no idea what asperg is.... Forgive me for being ignorant... But!

A few points:

1) if clubs are not for you and you know that.. don't whinge... Just don't go.

2) about being social... You CAN be social... You just have to work at it. It also pays off to try.

3) I was also nervous about clubs BUT I went to my first last night! It takes balls but its good when you get in there and you chat with people. The more you chat, the more confident you get.

If you want my advice....

Throw yourself in at the deep end. Go to the gym... Make friends... Flirt with girls at supermarkets... etc.... Do everything social and you'll become good at it.

Good luck!!"

People with aspergers find social interaction very difficult and avoid social situations.

It's a hidden visibility form of autism.

My son finds its extremely hard to communicate and interact with other people and causes him alot of anxiety and confusion and upset.

To the op though due to your difficulties maybe a club isn't for you. Not sure if you have sensory issues, anxiety, etc or anything else.

Maybe 1-1 meets are better suited. Then if you wish maybe grow some confidence to a small social and progress from there.

Best of luck with what ever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just not that easy. When it comes to certain tasks, I need to be shown what to do in order for me to learn and if I'm left to do it by myself, I get frustrated and give up."

Is this a roundabout way of asking someone to go with you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its just not that easy. When it comes to certain tasks, I need to be shown what to do in order for me to learn and if I'm left to do it by myself, I get frustrated and give up.

Is this a roundabout way of asking someone to go with you? "

No what I meant was if I'm not being taught what to do in normal day tasks whether its at work or at home, I get frustrated and end up giving up on it.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"Its just not that easy. When it comes to certain tasks, I need to be shown what to do in order for me to learn and if I'm left to do it by myself, I get frustrated and give up."

Hi, if you really do suffer with aspergers ( bloody crap joke if you dont ) then to be totally honest you are going to find it extremly difficult to enjoy the swinging

Lifestyle.

Best of luck

Petra & Pete

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have no idea what asperg is.... Forgive me for being ignorant... But!

A few points:

1) if clubs are not for you and you know that.. don't whinge... Just don't go.

2) about being social... You CAN be social... You just have to work at it. It also pays off to try.

3) I was also nervous about clubs BUT I went to my first last night! It takes balls but its good when you get in there and you chat with people. The more you chat, the more confident you get.

If you want my advice....

Throw yourself in at the deep end. Go to the gym... Make friends... Flirt with girls at supermarkets... etc.... Do everything social and you'll become good at it.

Good luck!!

People with aspergers find social interaction very difficult and avoid social situations.

It's a hidden visibility form of autism.

My son finds its extremely hard to communicate and interact with other people and causes him alot of anxiety and confusion and upset.

To the op though due to your difficulties maybe a club isn't for you. Not sure if you have sensory issues, anxiety, etc or anything else.

Maybe 1-1 meets are better suited. Then if you wish maybe grow some confidence to a small social and progress from there.

Best of luck with what ever you decide.

You're right there as I do find social interaction hard at times. I am trying to find 1-1 meets on here but no one seems to be interested. I just get either deleted or blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/10/13 19:17:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live"

Well... nobody likes a Moodhoover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try church on a Sunday be right up your street

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x."

Confused . Com

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its just not that easy. When it comes to certain tasks, I need to be shown what to do in order for me to learn and if I'm left to do it by myself, I get frustrated and give up."
does that apply to everything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 21/10/13 19:17:41]"

very glad you made the right choice and removed this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com "

In what way lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com

In what way lol"

In that it has nothing to do with this post.... your post is what many would describe as a "tangent"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be due a new post from.the OP....."why can't I get a meet......what am I doing wrong?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com

In what way lol

In that it has nothing to do with this post.... your post is what many would describe as a "tangent""

No I know, but what it was is that I like clubs as well x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com

In what way lol

In that it has nothing to do with this post.... your post is what many would describe as a "tangent"

No I know, but what it was is that I like clubs as well x."

That's just Dandy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com

In what way lol

In that it has nothing to do with this post.... your post is what many would describe as a "tangent"

No I know, but what it was is that I like clubs as well x.

That's just Dandy!!"

Thanks hun it is x.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"I fucked women in 2 clubs, funtimes in hackney wick and the yellow house in barking, I liked the gang bang session there, 5 guys 2 women mmmmm x.

Confused . Com

In what way lol

In that it has nothing to do with this post.... your post is what many would describe as a "tangent""

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here."

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them."

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men."

WTF?

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men."

Think you will find there are more single men pretending to be women /couples than in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men.

Think you will find there are more single men pretending to be women /couples than in a relationship."

Its no wonder no one trusts nobody on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men."

Now your just being silly mate grow up ffs.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men.

Think you will find there are more single men pretending to be women /couples than in a relationship.

Its no wonder no one trusts nobody on here."

We trust everybody, well apart from them, oh and them, no hang on just thought of somebody else,

Trust has to be earnt, just like in vanilla life.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men."

again.... too easy....kop out

blame everyone else..... you are faultless!

in the end, even if you have aspergers... you have to take some sort of responsability for your actions and your success.... or lack thereof....

It is no one elses fault if you don't go to clubs, or wont go to socials... or shoot down everyones suggestion...

at the end of the day you have to look at yourself and say "am i doing everything I can to help myself"......

people tried to help you.... and sometimes you have to try to overcome your fears and put yourself outside your comfort zone.....

because what you are doing at the moment is working for you.... isn't it!!

blunt piece of advice.. if something aint working, change it! what are you doing to "change it!"

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I trust people I've met on here.

I have never met _abio but I trust that he gives sound, good advice and is usually not as blunt as myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah maybe u should u dont seem like you want a club or here or a meet so why bother go to the cinema instead you probably enjoy that I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT US TO SAY

really I dont

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

You know what.. taking it on face value, this guy has trusted us by letting us know he has Asburgers!

Some of the posts in this thread have disgusted me!! If you don't know what it is.. go read a book or google it before saying rude insensitive shit!!

It is a bloody hard thing for someone to live with and work around for a social and even sexual life, which he is as entitled to as the rest of us!

Not sure some of you realise how your posts can destroy his confidence, so wind your necks in and get some empathy and manners!!

To the OP, you are being very brave even coming on a site like this and then opening your heart! I hope you get a really great experience that will blow the negativity you're getting here out of the water!!

Best of luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men.

again.... too easy....kop out

blame everyone else..... you are faultless!

in the end, even if you have aspergers... you have to take some sort of responsability for your actions and your success.... or lack thereof....

It is no one elses fault if you don't go to clubs, or wont go to socials... or shoot down everyones suggestion...

at the end of the day you have to look at yourself and say "am i doing everything I can to help myself"......

people tried to help you.... and sometimes you have to try to overcome your fears and put yourself outside your comfort zone.....

because what you are doing at the moment is working for you.... isn't it!!

blunt piece of advice.. if something aint working, change it! what are you doing to "change it!"

Ok fine. You're right. It is my fault. Everything is my fault. Not going to clubs or socials is my fault.

I do try my best to take everyone's suggestions and advice and make some changes but I just don't know how!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You know what.. taking it on face value, this guy has trusted us by letting us know he has Asburgers!

Some of the posts in this thread have disgusted me!! If you don't know what it is.. go read a book or google it before saying rude insensitive shit!!

It is a bloody hard thing for someone to live with and work around for a social and even sexual life, which he is as entitled to as the rest of us!

Not sure some of you realise how your posts can destroy his confidence, so wind your necks in and get some empathy and manners!!

Best of luck xx"

Thank you so much _orny69pussy. I'm so glad you understand. Its just whenever I'm like this, I need someone to talk to otherwise I'd just go insane.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Its jusy not for me ok"

Not everything is for everybody, as my dear old pa used to say. I don't like the idea of clubs, absolutely not for me so wouldn't even contemplate going.

If it's not for you op, it's not for you. It's not compulsory, you don't have to justify your decision to anyone: just do what you enjoy!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 21/10/13 21:25:07]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"The very easy answer then is not to go and you can always network and make friends at a Social.

Sadly I don't know any socials where I live

There's one in Sheffield on the 2nd.

Thats too far for me"

Sigh...

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"You know what.. taking it on face value, this guy has trusted us by letting us know he has Asburgers!

Some of the posts in this thread have disgusted me!! If you don't know what it is.. go read a book or google it before saying rude insensitive shit!!

It is a bloody hard thing for someone to live with and work around for a social and even sexual life, which he is as entitled to as the rest of us!

Not sure some of you realise how your posts can destroy his confidence, so wind your necks in and get some empathy and manners!!

Best of luck xx

Thank you so much _orny69pussy. I'm so glad you understand. Its just whenever I'm like this, I need someone to talk to otherwise I'd just go insane."

Obviuosly you cant talk to your mum and dad who you live with about fab, but you could talk to them about relationship help.our kids asked us.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I'm not gonna say anything as I know others will put down as another moaning loser who shouldn't be here.

So many single men on fab complain they cant get meets, you are in the same situation as them.

I know that thanks to all the liars, cheats and perverts who disguise themselves as single men.

WTF?

I must be a very horrible person as this thread is tickling me no end!

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

Thank you so much _orny69pussy. I'm so glad you understand. Its just whenever I'm like this, I need someone to talk to otherwise I'd just go insane."

You are very welcome! Please don't take any of the negative comments to heart!

Some people genuinely don't understand your condition and how things affect you.

Just keep your chin up and know that even if it takes time, you will get what you're looking for!

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Ok fine. You're right. It is my fault. Everything is my fault. Not going to clubs or socials is my fault.

I do try my best to take everyone's suggestions and advice and make some changes but I just don't know how!!!"

part of it IS down to you.... whether you like it or not.... and it is probably in your own interest to take some responsibility for that... or you could just stick your fingers in your ears, your head in the sand and shout "la la la..."

not going to clubs or socials are not your fault... However it is a choice that you have made, and it comes with the consequence of closing some hefty avenues to meet people....

your choice.. no one elses... no one else to blame!

no one else can make decisions for you... after all who knows you better than you!!! and if you dont know how, then how is anyone else.....

sometimes the best thing to do, is just sit at a table.. pen... piece of paper.. and just write!

but just dont blame others for your own failures...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you so much _orny69pussy. I'm so glad you understand. Its just whenever I'm like this, I need someone to talk to otherwise I'd just go insane.

You are very welcome! Please don't take any of the negative comments to heart!

Some people genuinely don't understand your condition and how things affect you.

Just keep your chin up and know that even if it takes time, you will get what you're looking for!

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

Thanks for the advice and you're right. People just don't understand what its like having my condition. It does get me down sometimes but I do try my best not to let it get to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you so much _orny69pussy. I'm so glad you understand. Its just whenever I'm like this, I need someone to talk to otherwise I'd just go insane.

You are very welcome! Please don't take any of the negative comments to heart!

Some people genuinely don't understand your condition and how things affect you.

Just keep your chin up and know that even if it takes time, you will get what you're looking for!

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

Ok fine. You're right. It is my fault. Everything is my fault. Not going to clubs or socials is my fault.

I do try my best to take everyone's suggestions and advice and make some changes but I just don't know how!!!

not going to clubs or socials are not your fault... However it is a choice that you have made, and it comes with the consequence of closing some hefty avenues to meet people....

your choice.. no one elses... no one else to blame!

no one else can make decisions for you... after all who knows you better than you!!! and if you dont know how, then how is anyone else.....

sometimes the best thing to do, is just sit at a table.. pen... piece of paper.. and just write!

but just dont blame others for your own failures... "

You obviously don't understand his condition! And the answer is in that.. you don't understand!! So quit the attack and stop talking about stuff you know nothing about!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say this with your best interest intended, but I don't think fab is the best place to find what your looking for. Have you looked into specialist dating sites? There are plenty out there catering for all people's needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

But as for being nice, just click on the green arrow the OP has started numerous threads and has received an awful lot of support, good advice and encouragement. But ultimately it all comes down to the same point which is he can't or won't take any of it on board.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I say this with your best interest intended, but I don't think fab is the best place to find what your looking for. Have you looked into specialist dating sites? There are plenty out there catering for all people's needs. "

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

jeez.... have a look at his past postings in the last 3 months...

from the first post asking for help in his profile... to advice with regards to clubs and social advice.... and most of the other posts he has put up...

people have tried to be helpful from the first moment....

even in this thread people have tried to be helpful....

whether you like it or not.... there has to be a certain amount of personal responsability when it comes to swinging... in the way you come across, in messages... in profiles... in follow ups ... ect ect ect....

there is no point in blaming your own woes on someone else....

and that also includes the choices we make...and those choices do come with consequences that can make it easier/harder for yourself

so what part of what I have said do you disagree with????? and we can discuss!

you can "sugarcoat"... say "there there there... you go champ!!!!" but does that really help his situation......

what was the last two line I wrote....

"no one else can make decisions for you... after all who knows you better than you!!! and if you dont know how, then how is anyone else.....

sometimes the best thing to do, is just sit at a table.. pen... piece of paper.. and just write!"

what is wrong with that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it"

I'm thinking that this site is not for you then. And I say that respectfully.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it"

You say you have realised clubs are not for you, perhaps you should also realise swinging isnt either.

(thread closed by moderator)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it

You say you have realised clubs are not for you, perhaps you should also realise swinging isnt either."

I'm only looking for 1 on 1 meets. Can I just ask whats swinging got to do with 1 on 1 meets?

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By *orny69pussyCouple
over a year ago

Tonbridge

I have to admit I agree with this. Not sure swinging is right for you, and there are sites out there that are!

So don't get down on yourself or feel disheartened, just look around for the right place for you xx

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it

You say you have realised clubs are not for you, perhaps you should also realise swinging isnt either.

I'm only looking for 1 on 1 meets. Can I just ask whats swinging got to do with 1 on 1 meets? "

Mate, this is a swinging site, not a dating site, you would be much happier on a mainstream dating site.

Most 1 on 1 meets on here will be a one off, is that what you are looking for ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has asbergers this is a neurological condition he finds social situations incredibly hard he does not understand social cues etc and he takes everything literally aswell as other difficulties. I think it is a shame some people have literally shredded him for something he cannot help or change.

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"He has asbergers this is a neurological condition he finds social situations incredibly hard he does not understand social cues etc and he takes everything literally aswell as other difficulties. I think it is a shame some people have literally shredded him for something he cannot help or change.

Exactly why he would be better off, on a non swinging site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

I did take in the advice I was given. I just haven't got a clue on what to do and how to do it

You say you have realised clubs are not for you, perhaps you should also realise swinging isnt either.

I'm only looking for 1 on 1 meets. Can I just ask whats swinging got to do with 1 on 1 meets?

Mate, this is a swinging site, not a dating site, you would be much happier on a mainstream dating site.

Most 1 on 1 meets on here will be a one off, is that what you are looking for ?"

Which mainstream sites do you suggest?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all the ignorant folks out there.. remember the old saying..

If you can't say anything nice.. don't say anything at all!!

It's a forum and I'm at a loss as to why the OP would start a thread if he didn;t want discussion

The OP also states that he can't follow advice as no one told him what to do, we'll people have told him what to do on all his threads and he doesn't do (his words) or take on board any advice given. I doubt very much that this is right site for him of he is so limited on when he can meet, meet scenarios he could find himself in.

Fabiola is right, only the OP can help himself