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clique

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By *cldn OP   Couple
over a year ago

watford

What exactly is the situation when you are not in a "clique" at a club. I mean i understand the term but what makes it that way at a club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand the question?

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By *cldn OP   Couple
over a year ago

watford

I mean what do the people that are in do to make others feel out? We want to know what to expect when we go and how to deal with it

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"I mean what do the people that are in do to make others feel out? We want to know what to expect when we go and how to deal with it "

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I would imagine most clubs will have some regulars who think they own the place and have to be included in everything, everytime... but just make your own fun if that is the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would imagine most clubs will have some regulars who think they own the place and have to be included in everything, everytime... but just make your own fun if that is the case. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/09/13 19:27:36]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody "owns" a club except the owners!

Most I've been to have regulars (hardcore - there week in week out), semi-regulars, occasional visitors and one time only guests.

Each has as much right to be there as the other. Some will just mix with their own friends and as if that is what they wish to do - there's little you can do (and probably wouldn't want to engage with them). Most will be there for the same reasons as many - to meet, chat to and potentially play with new acquaintances.

The various types are usually easy to spot - so just make a beeline for those who are open to chat and welcoming!

Good luck and enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mean what do the people that are in do to make others feel out? We want to know what to expect when we go and how to deal with it "

Either:

Make yourselves as sexy as fuck and people will quickly ditch their cliquey mates..

Or don't give a shit, do your own thing, ignore the assholes and enjoy yourself.

We aim to do both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cliques are subjective to those who say that "those over there" are a clique.

We tend to gravitate, talk to and spend most of our time with people we know and have a great social time whilst at a club as we find it difficult to speak with other with whom we don't know.

We're always open to meeting others, making new friends, contacts and play things..

It's no different than a group of friends at school, college, in the office or work place etc..

When your in a group you tend to talk about things that have happened in the group and those new may not know the details to be able to join in as such..

We've also been on the other side of the group thing ourselves at many parties, where we have felt left out..

We just go and have a good time on our own in that case..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes when we go clubbing we meet people that we know and have no great desire to socialise with others. Some nights we will happily socialise with anyone or everyone. I suspect that when it is the former people could accuse us of being cliquey. But it all comes down to perception.

Make an effort to socialise and mingle but accept not everyone will want to reciprocate.

I do think some people use the term clique to justify their own shortcomings in so much as it is clear from previous threads some people make no effort sit in a corner all night and then complain that a club is cliquey.

oh and if you are worried about getting to talk to peeople and you smoke, we always find the smoking area far more sociable than larger bar areas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes when we go clubbing we meet people that we know and have no great desire to socialise with others. Some nights we will happily socialise with anyone or everyone. I suspect that when it is the former people could accuse us of being cliquey. But it all comes down to perception.

Make an effort to socialise and mingle but accept not everyone will want to reciprocate.

I do think some people use the term clique to justify their own shortcomings in so much as it is clear from previous threads some people make no effort sit in a corner all night and then complain that a club is cliquey.

oh and if you are worried about getting to talk to peeople and you smoke, we always find the smoking area far more sociable than larger bar areas."

This!

And even if you don't smoke - it's usually where anyone playing will head to cool down. Clubs can get a tad warm (especially in playrooms!) and I've often found conversations start about the most random things over a cig and can sometimes end in more than a little chat!

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By *cldn OP   Couple
over a year ago

watford

Thanks for all the help guys.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Sometimes when we go clubbing we meet people that we know and have no great desire to socialise with others. Some nights we will happily socialise with anyone or everyone. I suspect that when it is the former people could accuse us of being cliquey. But it all comes down to perception.

Make an effort to socialise and mingle but accept not everyone will want to reciprocate.

I do think some people use the term clique to justify their own shortcomings in so much as it is clear from previous threads some people make no effort sit in a corner all night and then complain that a club is cliquey.

oh and if you are worried about getting to talk to peeople and you smoke, we always find the smoking area far more sociable than larger bar areas.

This!

And even if you don't smoke - it's usually where anyone playing will head to cool down. Clubs can get a tad warm (especially in playrooms!) and I've often found conversations start about the most random things over a cig and can sometimes end in more than a little chat! "

Not that this theory has been proven recently

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Sometimes when we go clubbing we meet people that we know and have no great desire to socialise with others. Some nights we will happily socialise with anyone or everyone. I suspect that when it is the former people could accuse us of being cliquey. But it all comes down to perception.

Make an effort to socialise and mingle but accept not everyone will want to reciprocate.

I do think some people use the term clique to justify their own shortcomings in so much as it is clear from previous threads some people make no effort sit in a corner all night and then complain that a club is cliquey.

oh and if you are worried about getting to talk to peeople and you smoke, we always find the smoking area far more sociable than larger bar areas.

This!

And even if you don't smoke - it's usually where anyone playing will head to cool down. Clubs can get a tad warm (especially in playrooms!) and I've often found conversations start about the most random things over a cig and can sometimes end in more than a little chat! "

Or can end in me bent over a railing getting my arse spanked!!

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"What exactly is the situation when you are not in a "clique" at a club. I mean i understand the term but what makes it that way at a club?"

We have been in very few cliquey clubs, by virtue of a night "costing" a bit and people not really being able to go every time its harder to form them in these environments.

That is not to say they don't form but I would suggest not looking for them when you go in just go to enjoy yourself and talk to people without any real expectations and you should enjoy yourself

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol


"

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more."

So you had one bad experience at one club on a couples night and drew a line through all of them forever ? bit odd but fair enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more.

So you had one bad experience at one club on a couples night and drew a line through all of them forever ? bit odd but fair enough.

"

Have to agree with this poster. Last time at chams there was this horrible loud group of people who came in the room after us. So ruddy full of themselves, boasting about how filthy they were Ya da ya da ya da. Just wouldn't shut up

We were happily playing minding our own business and the cheeky sods pinched my girlfriends towel and used it. shot cum all over it. I was so angry with them. Yep haven't been back since. Very off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've found ourselves in the couples room at Chams with a group that had all met up there and obviously had history.

One of the blokes gave a running commentary "oh yeah baby, take my hard cock in your mouth, that feels so good, you know you get so wet with my cock throbbing in you.. blah, blah, blah".

When we started sniggering we thought it best to try and discretely leave.

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By *cldn OP   Couple
over a year ago

watford

[Removed by poster at 29/09/13 20:49:30]

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By *cldn OP   Couple
over a year ago

watford

I wouldnt be able to stop my self having a chuckle

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more.

So you had one bad experience at one club on a couples night and drew a line through all of them forever ? bit odd but fair enough.

"

Not one. I gave that one as an example, but it happens at pretty much all the clubs where there are a lot of couples who know each other.

Sure, I don't expect them to fall over themselves to be welcoming, but judging from the quite large amount of posts on here from couples looking for a bi-woman, and me being a bi-woman happy to pitch in, I was hoping for a friendlier vibe. My companion also commented on the behaviour that night so maybe it was a poor night to go, but I've heard since that particular club is known for its unfriendliness on couples nights, so it wasn't worth trying again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sometimes when we go clubbing we meet people that we know and have no great desire to socialise with others. Some nights we will happily socialise with anyone or everyone. I suspect that when it is the former people could accuse us of being cliquey. But it all comes down to perception.

Make an effort to socialise and mingle but accept not everyone will want to reciprocate.

I do think some people use the term clique to justify their own shortcomings in so much as it is clear from previous threads some people make no effort sit in a corner all night and then complain that a club is cliquey.

oh and if you are worried about getting to talk to peeople and you smoke, we always find the smoking area far more sociable than larger bar areas.

This!

And even if you don't smoke - it's usually where anyone playing will head to cool down. Clubs can get a tad warm (especially in playrooms!) and I've often found conversations start about the most random things over a cig and can sometimes end in more than a little chat! "

Smoking areas are best place to chat - I even go there with my e- lite ciggy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/09/13 08:56:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE "

CLIQUE: Noun

Groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in.

Yep pretty much defined it perfectly there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

CLIQUE: Noun

Groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in.

Yep pretty much defined it perfectly there "

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By *tasiaCouple
over a year ago

West Bromwich


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE "

Have to agree with this. However the question was aimed at how to get involved, and personally think the answer is in body language.

If you see a "Clique" of 4 people all talking to each other, if they are all interested in each other, they will all face inwards, and make it very difficult for anyone to join in with a conversation. Best bet, ignore them and move on...

...however, if one person is facing out from the group slightly, looking around the club, looking vague, then just maybe they are slightly bored and looking for a new topic. Get in there! If you can get that persons interest with a good line or two, then all of a sudden you'll have shifted the weight from a 4-0 chat, to a 3-2 chat, and it might suddenly be 5-0 as they all join in with you. Job done, enjoy the party.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford


"

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more.

So you had one bad experience at one club on a couples night and drew a line through all of them forever ? bit odd but fair enough.

Not one. I gave that one as an example, but it happens at pretty much all the clubs where there are a lot of couples who know each other.

Sure, I don't expect them to fall over themselves to be welcoming, but judging from the quite large amount of posts on here from couples looking for a bi-woman, and me being a bi-woman happy to pitch in, I was hoping for a friendlier vibe. My companion also commented on the behaviour that night so maybe it was a poor night to go, but I've heard since that particular club is known for its unfriendliness on couples nights, so it wasn't worth trying again."

agreed.. why waste time and money to get the same result when there are so many other options.

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By *eareenaCouple
over a year ago

Rockford


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

CLIQUE: Noun

Groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in.

Yep pretty much defined it perfectly there "

And they abound in the swinging world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

Have to agree with this. However the question was aimed at how to get involved, and personally think the answer is in body language.

If you see a "Clique" of 4 people all talking to each other, if they are all interested in each other, they will all face inwards, and make it very difficult for anyone to join in with a conversation. Best bet, ignore them and move on...

...however, if one person is facing out from the group slightly, looking around the club, looking vague, then just maybe they are slightly bored and looking for a new topic. Get in there! If you can get that persons interest with a good line or two, then all of a sudden you'll have shifted the weight from a 4-0 chat, to a 3-2 chat, and it might suddenly be 5-0 as they all join in with you. Job done, enjoy the party. "

+1 This !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

Have to agree with this. However the question was aimed at how to get involved, and personally think the answer is in body language.

If you see a "Clique" of 4 people all talking to each other, if they are all interested in each other, they will all face inwards, and make it very difficult for anyone to join in with a conversation. Best bet, ignore them and move on...

...however, if one person is facing out from the group slightly, looking around the club, looking vague, then just maybe they are slightly bored and looking for a new topic. Get in there! If you can get that persons interest with a good line or two, then all of a sudden you'll have shifted the weight from a 4-0 chat, to a 3-2 chat, and it might suddenly be 5-0 as they all join in with you. Job done, enjoy the party. "

I love this.

Find a quiet spot where you can observe the different groups.

Get a drink - you may be sat for a while.

The moment you spot somebody stifling a yawn, shuffling their feet or gazing around - nab em!

Run in, grab their hand and promise to fuck their brains out (DISCLAIMER: check for consent first).

Then return to your quiet spot. Who cares about the clique?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I dont think there is any such thing as a " Clique " just groups of people that know each other or stick to the group they are in. That is their preference.

This happens everywhere not just in swinging clubs.

The key word is PREFERENCE

Have to agree with this. However the question was aimed at how to get involved, and personally think the answer is in body language.

If you see a "Clique" of 4 people all talking to each other, if they are all interested in each other, they will all face inwards, and make it very difficult for anyone to join in with a conversation. Best bet, ignore them and move on...

...however, if one person is facing out from the group slightly, looking around the club, looking vague, then just maybe they are slightly bored and looking for a new topic. Get in there! If you can get that persons interest with a good line or two, then all of a sudden you'll have shifted the weight from a 4-0 chat, to a 3-2 chat, and it might suddenly be 5-0 as they all join in with you. Job done, enjoy the party.

I love this.

Find a quiet spot where you can observe the different groups.

Get a drink - you may be sat for a while.

The moment you spot somebody stifling a yawn, shuffling their feet or gazing around - nab em!

Run in, grab their hand and promise to fuck their brains out (DISCLAIMER: check for consent first).

Then return to your quiet spot. Who cares about the clique?"

Is that smash and grab or grab and smash lol ????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fling and swing

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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago

Currently Faraway

So, can anyone perhaps say what the "cliqueiest" clubs in the Yorkshire/Lancashire area are? If there are even any such clubs in the area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before being shot down - I accept that I am generalising but club nights that are couples only can be cliquey.

We have been to many club nights on Saturday this year and found that on the whole there were many people who were regulars who knew each other. It did feel cliquey and although it is not impossible to get conversation, the open feeling of working the room goes away. At the same time, I also accept that if you are regulars then it is inevitable that you will socialise with your friends!

We do prefer club nights with men and also prefer couples private parties in a more intimate setting. This is mainly because we have no intention of becoming regulars at a club and like to walk in and people looking to mingle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol fling n swing sorry just really tickled me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I mean what do the people that are in do to make others feel out? We want to know what to expect when we go and how to deal with it

When it happened to me, it was a case of a group of people who clearly knew each other well chatting with each other and ignoring everyone else. We did try to chat but were shut down pretty quickly.

This is why I don't go to couples nights at clubs any more."

Exactly right! Even as a single guy invited to couples/limited singles nights it can be difficult to circulate beyond your acquaintances without being seen as the predatory male. Open nights at clubs suit me much better even allowing for the imbalance of single males to couples/single females everybody appears much happier to socialise with all present. What happens after the socialising is down to the people concerned.

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