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People going to a club just to chat!

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By *lim_jim1964 OP   Man
over a year ago

peterborough

I have a feeling I am going to be shot down in flames here but I like to get things out in the open so to speak!

I would describe myself as an irregular visitor to clubs, all being well I maybe make it 3 times a year. I like to vary where I go and have visited about 8 clubs around the country over the ten years or so I have been enjoying this pass time.

One thing I have noticed especially at the club I was at last weekend is the amount of people who seemed to just go along to chat both couples and singles. I know for a lot of people swinging is as much as a social thing as a sexual thing including the management of the establishment it would seem. In one of the rooms I found it very off putting and just wondered if others had similar experiences, I have spoken to 2 couples I they commented about it both in the social and pay spaces of this club, of course I would not name the club as maybe others think that is great and just what they go out for.

Interested in what others think and awaiting possible bombardment of negative feedback here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So we should only go to a club to have sex...?

sorry but you are going to swing clubs not brothels. I often go just to meet friends.. chameleons for example I rarely play at but socialise lots...

it can be off putting if it's during play.. but then if you get a group that know each other well there will be banter during play. X

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I have a feeling I am going to be shot down in flames here but I like to get things out in the open so to speak!

I would describe myself as an irregular visitor to clubs, all being well I maybe make it 3 times a year. I like to vary where I go and have visited about 8 clubs around the country over the ten years or so I have been enjoying this pass time.

One thing I have noticed especially at the club I was at last weekend is the amount of people who seemed to just go along to chat both couples and singles. I know for a lot of people swinging is as much as a social thing as a sexual thing including the management of the establishment it would seem. In one of the rooms I found it very off putting and just wondered if others had similar experiences, I have spoken to 2 couples I they commented about it both in the social and pay spaces of this club, of course I would not name the club as maybe others think that is great and just what they go out for.

Interested in what others think and awaiting possible bombardment of negative feedback here.

"

i think you are talking about 2 completely different things here....

in the play rooms yes it can be offputting and can spoil the mood, especially it is coming from watchers.... but it can also lighten it a little as well, nothing wrong with having a giggle whilst playing.... that is more of a personal call...

but in social areas... hell yeah, not everyone wants to play with people that night, you might not find anyone you like.... in fact some of the best nights i have had in clubs have been on nights where you have talked and talked and honestly forgotten what the time is....

plus there is very much an element of "try before you buy" in the sense you can find that if you are compactible, then there is always next time!!!, or then a home meet!!

just because you go to a club, it doesn't mean you have to have your "rabid sex pest" head on..... sometimes the biggest sexual instrument you can use are your brains and your personality.....

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By *inkershoes69Woman
over a year ago

maidstone


"I have a feeling I am going to be shot down in flames here but I like to get things out in the open so to speak!

I would describe myself as an irregular visitor to clubs, all being well I maybe make it 3 times a year. I like to vary where I go and have visited about 8 clubs around the country over the ten years or so I have been enjoying this pass time.

One thing I have noticed especially at the club I was at last weekend is the amount of people who seemed to just go along to chat both couples and singles. I know for a lot of people swinging is as much as a social thing as a sexual thing including the management of the establishment it would seem. In one of the rooms I found it very off putting and just wondered if others had similar experiences, I have spoken to 2 couples I they commented about it both in the social and pay spaces of this club, of course I would not name the club as maybe others think that is great and just what they go out for.

Interested in what others think and awaiting possible bombardment of negative feedback here.

i think you are talking about 2 completely different things here....

in the play rooms yes it can be offputting and can spoil the mood, especially it is coming from watchers.... but it can also lighten it a little as well, nothing wrong with having a giggle whilst playing.... that is more of a personal call...

but in social areas... hell yeah, not everyone wants to play with people that night, you might not find anyone you like.... in fact some of the best nights i have had in clubs have been on nights where you have talked and talked and honestly forgotten what the time is....

plus there is very much an element of "try before you buy" in the sense you can find that if you are compactible, then there is always next time!!!, or then a home meet!!

just because you go to a club, it doesn't mean you have to have your "rabid sex pest" head on..... sometimes the biggest sexual instrument you can use are your brains and your personality....."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. I go to clubs a lot more than 3 times a year and I go to socialise, anything else that happens is a bonus.

If more men adopted this approach than clubs would be better for it and probably have more people attending.

I respect the play rooms and wouldn't stand chatting near the action, however, in the social areas the banter is usually great. Were it not, I wouldn't go

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

its the reason i've started to go to clubs

now as i can socialise if i want and then i decide if i want to play or not .x

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By *lim_jim1964 OP   Man
over a year ago

peterborough

Thought I might get shot down but was just saying.

Thanks Fabio I should have seperated social areas from play areas as they are different issues and on relection my iritations are different to both.

And yes I agree that going to a club just to chat is fine and I hope I never go with any expecations beyond a friendly welcome. One of the things I noticed at this club I was at recently was how tight the cliques were with one couple being downright rude when I tried to spark up a chat.

As for the play area's I agree if you bump into my friends you might want a bit of banter but please do you need to be so loud about it?

Again just my recent observations

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

A reversal of this also is the fact that at certain clubs people play in what we would call the social areas, Dont really want to see a woman gushing on the bar that I get my drinks and food served at, or a guy sat there pulling his pud while everyone is eating the Buffett!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We went to a club last week and just chatted,it was the first time we'd been to this particular club and I could'nt play anyway so we used the night to check out a new place,we'll go to clubs and if I don't find anyone that Id like to play with we'll just socialise

What we don't do though is chat in play areas while people are having fun,I find that rude and offputting,theres enough social areas in clubs to discuss the price of petrol/where you're going on holiday ect without bringing it to the playrooms where the atmosphere should at least be a tiny bit erotic

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"I agree. I go to clubs a lot more than 3 times a year and I go to socialise, anything else that happens is a bonus.

If more men adopted this approach than clubs would be better for it and probably have more people attending.

I respect the play rooms and wouldn't stand chatting near the action, however, in the social areas the banter is usually great. Were it not, I wouldn't go "

have to say I do absolutely agree with the men in clubs part..... i think more would go, if that is what it was like, and it is the reason I got to clubs on the night that i do... because of the patrolling, the running around like a pack of hyenas thing, but still roaming around like a lost lamb and not saying boo to a goose

and I also agree with higgi's point as well.... where the better clubs do keep social areas and play areas distinct... there are some grey areas but I would have thought most people would be able to use common sense...

the complaint about people talking in social areas is I feel an unfair one... you have to remember that these people will still have known each other for a while, and even if groups of people are "tight" (i hang with the smokers for example, even though i don't anymore) we welcome anyone that wants to join in the chat...

it is very much a two way street though.. new people can't just sit in the corner waiting for everyone to approach them... then need to make an effort as much as others need to be welcoming....

some of the best nights i have been in clubs have been social and I make no excuses for that... I have had my birthday parties in clubs and had a blast even if i haven't played...

I think it is a mindset then... if you go in with the "why aren't people playing" then I think you are going to be onto a loser.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So we should only go to a club to have sex...?

sorry but you are going to swingers clubs not brothels. We often go just to meet friends.."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"its the reason i've started to go to clubs

now as i can socialise if i want and then i decide if i want to play or not .x "

same here

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

If you go to a pub is it compulsory to get pissed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrm, but you say on your profile page you enjoy good conversation!!lol


"I have a feeling I am going to be shot down in flames here but I like to get things out in the open so to speak!

I would describe myself as an irregular visitor to clubs, all being well I maybe make it 3 times a year. I like to vary where I go and have visited about 8 clubs around the country over the ten years or so I have been enjoying this pass time.

One thing I have noticed especially at the club I was at last weekend is the amount of people who seemed to just go along to chat both couples and singles. I know for a lot of people swinging is as much as a social thing as a sexual thing including the management of the establishment it would seem. In one of the rooms I found it very off putting and just wondered if others had similar experiences, I have spoken to 2 couples I they commented about it both in the social and pay spaces of this club, of course I would not name the club as maybe others think that is great and just what they go out for.

Interested in what others think and awaiting possible bombardment of negative feedback here.

"

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Last time I went to a club I went with the full intention of playing, but no-one wished to play with me, so I sat and chatted with others. Does the OP mean that, as I wasn't playing, I should be ejected forthwith? Seems a bit mean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree. I go to clubs a lot more than 3 times a year and I go to socialise, anything else that happens is a bonus.

If more men adopted this approach than clubs would be better for it and probably have more people attending.

I respect the play rooms and wouldn't stand chatting near the action, however, in the social areas the banter is usually great. Were it not, I wouldn't go "

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By *lim_jim1964 OP   Man
over a year ago

peterborough


"Errrm, but you say on your profile page you enjoy good conversation!!lol "

Yes I do, but I like to be included and not have back turned on me as I am not at the place every week, as I said in my original post I have only posted following a conversation with 2 couples, one of whom I play with the other I have just chatted with. Again it was just an obeservation, I attend clubs with no expecations of a sexual nature but polite good maners from both guys and couples I expect.

As there have been few messages from people who have observced similar things I will take it that it has just been my take on things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, i would prefer to go and chat.

Im not sure how people would view me in the club lol i know im not everyones cup of tea, and this site especially proves that haha

..but, i doubt you go to a club just to have sex. We are social beings at the end of the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Last time I went to a club I went with the full intention of playing, but no-one wished to play with me, so I sat and chatted with others. Does the OP mean that, as I wasn't playing, I should be ejected forthwith? Seems a bit mean. "

ha bless we would have played

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By *asperthedogCouple
over a year ago

midlands

Clubs, have in the past few years, become a lot more "social" than they used to be. Especially on nights where single guys are allowed. Five years ago, there was, in the words of Elvis, " a little less conversation...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we like to chat as well as play, clubs seem to be the only place where you can talk to others about sex as you don't normally talk about sexlife in vanilla world, but we do play as well, hee hee

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