FabSwingers.com forum: Getting started

By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Morning! We’re hoping you can help. Mrs R has experience of a club many moons ago with her ex, and it’s something I’ve never done but want to. We’ve talked at length, understand what we want / our boundaries, and agreed it’s something we’d like to do- so we’ve messaged the organisers a couple of times now and been ignored. What are we doing wrong? Are they just being kind and thinking “you’re too inexperienced- you wouldn’t like it”. We’re adults, we’ll take that chance! Does anyone have any advice please? Be brutally honest if needed, we won’t sulk I promise. Many thanks!

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By *cottish guy 555Man
27 weeks ago

London

Just pick a club, check the entry requirements and visit. You'll find them not as daunting as you think.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Thanks for the reply- do you think we should just rock up on spec then? We thought we’d try and stick rigidly to the rules and message the organiser but we’re getting nowhere! Perhaps you’re right xx

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By *aomilatteCouple
27 weeks ago

Midlands

Does the organiser have a thread with a guest list on the forum you could comment on? Which club is it?

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By *cottish guy 555Man
27 weeks ago

London

"Thanks for the reply- do you think we should just rock up on spec then? We thought we’d try and stick rigidly to the rules and message the organiser but we’re getting nowhere! Perhaps you’re right xx"

I've heard of this for socials but never for clubs.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

It’s invite only. You have to message them on here first, which we’ve done. Ignored. I get that it’s their decision, but it’s disappointing and I want to avoid making any mistakes in future!

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Don’t think they do- it’s Lust in Swindon, 29 Nov. Perhaps our profile isn’t good enough? We followed the rules and sent a recent full length photo and were super polite.

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By *ubcuckpupMan
27 weeks ago

Manchester

Just go to a club that's open to everyone

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By *aomilatteCouple
27 weeks ago

Midlands

"Just go to a club that's open to everyone "

This is exactly what we'd do, there are plenty of clubs to choose from.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Thing is- we’re new to this. We felt a couples only event would be a gentle way in. Got to start somewhere!

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By *oonwitch_and_RainbowCouple (FF)
27 weeks ago

Bradford and Stockport

There are clubs that have regular couples only or couples and single women's nights. Others have friendly newbies nights to help you settle in. I don't know what there is in your area though.

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By *azzabiguyMan
27 weeks ago

Longton

"Morning! We’re hoping you can help. Mrs R has experience of a club many moons ago with her ex, and it’s something I’ve never done but want to. We’ve talked at length, understand what we want / our boundaries, and agreed it’s something we’d like to do- so we’ve messaged the organisers a couple of times now and been ignored. What are we doing wrong? Are they just being kind and thinking “you’re too inexperienced- you wouldn’t like it”. We’re adults, we’ll take that chance! Does anyone have any advice please? Be brutally honest if needed, we won’t sulk I promise. Many thanks! "
well if they haven't replied I'd try somewhere else.most clubs and owners are a friendly bunch.theres one in stoke and they go out of there way to make sure newbies are comfortable and shown round by a regular member and introduced to others.dint be put off by one club ignoring you.give it a try and take things at your own pace.rememeber you don't have to do anything if you don't feel ready for it.treat it like going a club ,have a drink and dance and chat and if you feel upto joining in any fun then that's a bonus

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Thank you- appreciated. You’re right, we’ll find the event for us and see how it goes.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Thank you- I think we do need to keep looking. We know what we want, we just need to find the right setting.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
27 weeks ago

London

"Thank you- I think we do need to keep looking. We know what we want, we just need to find the right setting. "

If you use reply and quote we'll know who you are responding to.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
27 weeks ago

London

I've just had a quick look and seen that lust is sold out. Perhaps that's why there's been no response.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

"I've just had a quick look and seen that lust is sold out. Perhaps that's why there's been no response.

Thank you! Not on their profile it isn’t though- it still says DM for info. Plus we messaged 3 weeks ago…..we know it’s a no, we just don’t want to miss out on other events and wondered what we’re doing wrong!

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

It’s a fair point! Haha

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By *cottish guy 555Man
27 weeks ago

London

"I've just had a quick look and seen that lust is sold out. Perhaps that's why there's been no response.

I don't think that you are doing it wrong. It's just the one you picked do it in an uncommon way. As previously mentioned, lots of clubs do couples and single ladies only nights. Perhaps try an organised group social to make some connections and get some opinions from others.

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By *eri24Woman
27 weeks ago

Bridgend

"I've just had a quick look and seen that lust is sold out. Perhaps that's why there's been no response.

Lust is run by an account where you apply to be on the guest list

But if you're interested in going to Swindon (where lust is held) the club has a Wicked event every month, which is predominantly couples

Just search Wicked in the forum or visit the club website

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

"I've just had a quick look and seen that lust is sold out. Perhaps that's why there's been no response.

Lust is run by an account where you apply to be on the guest list

But if you're interested in going to Swindon (where lust is held) the club has a Wicked event every month, which is predominantly couples

Just search Wicked in the forum or visit the club website

"
great stuff- yeah, Swindon looks to be the closest to us, so that works. Thank you!

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By *oonwitch_and_RainbowCouple (FF)
27 weeks ago

Bradford and Stockport

It's several years ago now, but I always found Route 69 club in Weston-super-Mare to be a lovely place, I don't think that's too far from you OP? It's only a small place but the owner was totally welcoming to me and the people there very friendly. Might be worth investigating for you.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

Thanks! It’s a bit of a schlep, but doable. Well check it out.

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By *etsplay68Man
27 weeks ago

beaconsfield

check out Ignite Heathrow lovely club with great faciities and several hotels no more than a minutes walk away

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By *ellhungvweMan
27 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I agree with everyone who says just get to a club. My suggestion would be Chams. It is not too far up the M5 from you guys and is very relaxed. You don’t have to do anything and can just sit and people watch if you want.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

That keeps coming up as a good starter, which makes sense to us until we’re pro level! Great, many thanks for your suggestion.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
27 weeks ago

Coventry

Some clubs and organisers are terrible via message at replying. Most clubs are happy to sign up new couples at the door. Just check the club website to make sure prior application isn't mandatory (there's a couple that are I believe). Also try the telephone in normal club opening hours, they'll normally pick up. We know Chameleons are atrocious at answering emails however they always pick up the phone (sometimes after a few rings if they're busy). I would say most clubs we're member of we have just rocked up on the day and got membership. In fact we've been to lots of clubs across the country and there been only one club we've had to apply prior. Some clubs prefer application in advance to save time on the night but its rare that a hard rule. Always remember to bring a photo IDs and a separate proof of address like a utility bill.

Also you have clubs like the Attic that does not require membership. You just turn up at the door and pay your entrance fee.

A point on parties and events. Sometimes these are not reflective of a clubs normal night. Sometimes a different crowd and vibe. Not a negative point just saying don't judge a club by an outside organisers party as a regular club night may be different there.

So there's really nothing stopping you.

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By *avens OP Couple
27 weeks ago

Stroud

"Some clubs and organisers are terrible via message at replying. Most clubs are happy to sign up new couples at the door. Just check the club website to make sure prior application isn't mandatory (there's a couple that are I believe). Also try the telephone in normal club opening hours, they'll normally pick up. We know Chameleons are atrocious at answering emails however they always pick up the phone (sometimes after a few rings if they're busy). I would say most clubs we're member of we have just rocked up on the day and got membership. In fact we've been to lots of clubs across the country and there been only one club we've had to apply prior. Some clubs prefer application in advance to save time on the night but its rare that a hard rule. Always remember to bring a photo IDs and a separate proof of address like a utility bill.

Also you have clubs like the Attic that does not require membership. You just turn up at the door and pay your entrance fee.

So there's really nothing stopping you."

Fantastic reply- really helpful, thank you. Xx

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By *andJWCouple
27 weeks ago

Leicester

We're very new to this and said sod it, we'll just start going to clubs. We went to one just for a workshop and another this week to play and we loved it. It was so welcoming and friendly and nowhere near as intimidating as we felt it would be. We went to VA for a daytime one as we thought that would suit us best and perhaps be a little quieter than an evening. Just go for it x

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By *andJWCouple
27 weeks ago

Leicester

And sorry I should have said we did the membership application online for there and it was quick and easy. We just had to take our ID when we went in.

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By *he randy badgersCouple
27 weeks ago

Oxford

Would also recommend Wicked @ Swindon Swingers for what you're looking for. Friendly crowd, superb hosts.

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By *avens OP Couple
26 weeks ago

Stroud

"We're very new to this and said sod it, we'll just start going to clubs. We went to one just for a workshop and another this week to play and we loved it. It was so welcoming and friendly and nowhere near as intimidating as we felt it would be. We went to VA for a daytime one as we thought that would suit us best and perhaps be a little quieter than an evening. Just go for it x"
thank you! Yes we will- this is such a great community, we’ve had loads of help by message too. Xx

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