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By *ictokcool OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Whitchurch

Looking to do my first club tomorrow can anyone recommend any? Give me any advise I’m a nervous wreck and absolutely petrified of going alone!

Happy to travel 30/40 miles ish of Whitchurch

Cheers in advance

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By *ink vixenCouple
2 weeks ago

Medway

What on earth are you scared of?

Are you petrified normally in social situations?

If you really lack confidence then perhaps practice a bit by going to a pub and attempting to strike up conversation with strangers?

Good luck.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
2 weeks ago

Coventry


"Looking to do my first club tomorrow can anyone recommend any? Give me any advise I’m a nervous wreck and absolutely petrified of going alone!

Happy to travel 30/40 miles ish of Whitchurch

Cheers in advance "

I totally get this. I was feeling the same about my first time when I was a single guy on the scene. However I also realised nothing happens if you just sit a home scared. The best way to do a thing is often just to do it. So one Saturday afternoon I decided despite the massive social anxiety to do it. I just told myself I was going sink or swim, booked a hotel room and jumped on the train.

The hardest bit was getting through the door. But I just didn't think, just do. Like jumping out of a plane. They gave me tour, which helped put my mind at ease a bit. And then there I was a nervous socially anxious guy on the spectrum alone in a club full of strangers, sounds and smells.

I realised sitting in the corner would get me nowhere and joining the wanking dead would get me nowhere. So into the breach I went and started striking up conversation in the social area. Which was challenging and one of the hardest things I've done in my life (by my personal metric) but what else could I do? I had various levels of success. Some warm welcomes, some not so. But it's all building experience. Eventually I got chatting to single lady and we hit it off. Turn out to be a great night and been going to clubs ever since. And the more you go the easier it gets till it just feels like home.

So do your research and just go, that's my advice.

Mr

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By *evilandTheBeastCouple
2 weeks ago

Peterborough and Bedford

OP, you need to do your research into clubs within the distance you're happy to travel. You might not be able to find a club for tonight that could accommodate you as a single man, as on Saturdays, most clubs have events for couples and single ladies only. Also, men normally, on the events that single men are allowed in, have to have their membership sorted beforehand and be on the guest list to attend. But again, do your research, see what clubs are within the distance you're happy to travel (if any), then check the events. Not all events are suitable, even if single men are allowed in. For example, going to a BMFC night (black men fun club) when you're white can be a bit of a miss as most people there would not be looking for white men.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
2 weeks ago

Coventry

Maybe look at the Attic Derby. I know it's a little out of range. However single guys are allowed in on a Saturday (although you may have to queue if you come at a bad time). Also no membership, just pay the entry fee (which isn't a bad price). It was my first club as a single guy. Also if you're staying over there's normally lots of affordable accommodation in the area.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
2 weeks ago

London


"Looking to do my first club tomorrow can anyone recommend any? Give me any advise I’m a nervous wreck and absolutely petrified of going alone!

Happy to travel 30/40 miles ish of Whitchurch

Cheers in advance

I totally get this. I was feeling the same about my first time when I was a single guy on the scene. However I also realised nothing happens if you just sit a home scared. The best way to do a thing is often just to do it. So one Saturday afternoon I decided despite the massive social anxiety to do it. I just told myself I was going sink or swim, booked a hotel room and jumped on the train.

The hardest bit was getting through the door. But I just didn't think, just do. Like jumping out of a plane. They gave me tour, which helped put my mind at ease a bit. And then there I was a nervous socially anxious guy on the spectrum alone in a club full of strangers, sounds and smells.

I realised sitting in the corner would get me nowhere and joining the wanking dead would get me nowhere. So into the breach I went and started striking up conversation in the social area. Which was challenging and one of the hardest things I've done in my life (by my personal metric) but what else could I do? I had various levels of success. Some warm welcomes, some not so. But it's all building experience. Eventually I got chatting to single lady and we hit it off. Turn out to be a great night and been going to clubs ever since. And the more you go the easier it gets till it just feels like home.

So do your research and just go, that's my advice.

Mr"

Great advice. Clubs are not as daunting as you think.

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By *ictokcool OP   Man
2 weeks ago

Whitchurch


"Looking to do my first club tomorrow can anyone recommend any? Give me any advise I’m a nervous wreck and absolutely petrified of going alone!

Happy to travel 30/40 miles ish of Whitchurch

Cheers in advance

I totally get this. I was feeling the same about my first time when I was a single guy on the scene. However I also realised nothing happens if you just sit a home scared. The best way to do a thing is often just to do it. So one Saturday afternoon I decided despite the massive social anxiety to do it. I just told myself I was going sink or swim, booked a hotel room and jumped on the train.

The hardest bit was getting through the door. But I just didn't think, just do. Like jumping out of a plane. They gave me tour, which helped put my mind at ease a bit. And then there I was a nervous socially anxious guy on the spectrum alone in a club full of strangers, sounds and smells.

I realised sitting in the corner would get me nowhere and joining the wanking dead would get me nowhere. So into the breach I went and started striking up conversation in the social area. Which was challenging and one of the hardest things I've done in my life (by my personal metric) but what else could I do? I had various levels of success. Some warm welcomes, some not so. But it's all building experience. Eventually I got chatting to single lady and we hit it off. Turn out to be a great night and been going to clubs ever since. And the more you go the easier it gets till it just feels like home.

So do your research and just go, that's my advice.

Mr"

Thanks mate! Taken your advice I’m off to cupids tonight and I’m on the guest list, I’m having a tour before hand! I’ve proper thrown myself in as it’s towels / boxers night so I’m going in hard 🥰🤩

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By *questMan
1 week ago

peterborough

I was going to ask the same

I am thinking off going to the Vanilla Alternatives MILF Club on Wednesday, and perhaps Jaydees Lunch event on Thursday

I am brand new at this, so its pretty daunting, especially since I am in my 50s and not exactly an adonis

Are these good places to start? And any particular tips etc on how to get chatting to people

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By *questMan
1 week ago

peterborough

Thats fantastic advice, thank you

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By *iss DevilWoman
1 week ago

Bedford


"I was going to ask the same

I am thinking off going to the Vanilla Alternatives MILF Club on Wednesday, and perhaps Jaydees Lunch event on Thursday

I am brand new at this, so its pretty daunting, especially since I am in my 50s and not exactly an adonis

Are these good places to start? And any particular tips etc on how to get chatting to people"

As above, check single men requirements for both clubs. I think with VA, you have to have your membership sorted, and be on the guest list for the event, to be able to attend. Bear in mind, VA is open play only, but they are also a licensed bar so you are not allowed to bring your own alcohol.

Jaydees, I believe you can take out membership at the club, on the day, but I think you still have to be on the guest list in order to attend. There is a mix of play areas in the club, and it has been refurbished recently. It's a "bring your own booze" club.

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By *questMan
1 week ago

peterborough

Yes - I have applied to both, or in the case of JDs, checked by emailing them

But just got an email from VA saying the meberhip is full for single men, which is a bit of a shame

but will try again

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By *rincess_nikki_transgurlTV/TS
1 week ago

salford

As a smoker, I find the smoking area a great place for breaking the ice. Everyone is having a break from the club so you're not interrupting anything, it's quieter and easier to converse and anyone can leave at anytime.

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By *JohnMan
1 week ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Even as a non-smoker, the smoking area is a great social space. The hot tub too, if the club has one and it's not too noisy. They're both non-play areas that people go to for a while, then move on elsewhere. It's natural to get talking with whoever else is there.

My advice for new single men is to forget that the club has anything to do with sex. At least at first. Treat the people you meet there as people. You can have a good conversation with any of them.

And who knows, maybe someone will feel comfortable enough with you to want to get intimate. It does happen...

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By *ictokcool OP   Man
1 week ago

Whitchurch

Even though it sounds really daunting it’s really not as bad as it seems don’t get me wrong the first 1520 minutes you’re very nervous but when I went for my first time on Saturday I just went and sat in an amongst people okay I didn’t strike up many conversations didn’t have anything like that. Didn’t have much fun but for me it was about going taking it all in. See what it’s all about and go from there and I’ll definitely be going back. That’s what I took from it and you have to think at the end of the day everyone is there for the same reason, so just go and enjoy it.

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