Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swinging Club Discussion |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always. Go with no expectations, go for the opportunity of relaxing in a place where liberated people hang out. If you expect sex, then you will reek of desperation and people will find that offputting. However, go with a view that you could end up chatting with people who get the scene and can talk frankly about almost anything. Don't be a wanking Zombie. I've seen women and couples leave a club because the zombies followed them from room to room. Be polite, curteous, confident but respectful and you won't go far wrong. And never forget, if you want to play, ask and never assume you can just join in. " Exactly this, single guys aren’t our go to normally, mainly because the wanking dead just follow us around which can get a bit tedious. However, those that act normal with no expectations tend to be the ones we invite to join us. As someone who started out as a single guy, clubs are probably the best way to get to know people within the lifestyle and more often than not so long as you’re respectful, engage with people as a normal human being and not looking for a quick fuck, your chances of getting to join a couple or a single girl drastically improve. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After some advice please I'm thinking of going to a club and not been before! Is it worth going as a single guys? " Define “worth going” If you go expecting guaranteed sex because you have paid a certain amount … then no! If you go with an open mind with no expectations, a sociable person who will talk to everyone and anyone and treat it like a night out… and everything is no until told/asked otherwise.. then absolutely!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After some advice please I'm thinking of going to a club and not been before! Is it worth going as a single guys? " We don't go to clubs on days/nights when there are NO single guys....it's generally what we (and lots of others) are looking for. But....be sociable, be respectful, talk to both halves of a couple and don't walk around with your t-shirt on, cock out and playing with yourself. (Bry) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After some advice please I'm thinking of going to a club and not been before! Is it worth going as a single guys? " Based on my experiences of the club scene as a single guy, I could never recommend to a mate to try one… | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My top tip would be look for people putting club meet requests on the night youre going and drop a message with a face pic saying "hi" then actually start a conversation in the non play areas of the club." And definitely DON'T spend all evening not talking to anyone, then message people telling them that you saw them last night but didn't get a chance to say _ello. (Bry) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My top tip would be look for people putting club meet requests on the night youre going and drop a message with a face pic saying "hi" then actually start a conversation in the non play areas of the club. And definitely DON'T spend all evening not talking to anyone, then message people telling them that you saw them last night but didn't get a chance to say _ello. (Bry)" Or stand in the corridors of play rooms wanking and grunting whilst couples and single females walk past | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"All the above. Expectation is a killer, expect nothing. Instead be friendly, be sociable. Talk to the staff. Be a normal human being. It’s natural to be nervous if it’s something you’ve never tried before. I have found after talking to other single blokes who don’t enjoy the club scene invariably feel they have ‘wasted’ their money - this often (not always) equates to an attitude that they expect sex acts swingers club. Kris " It was never about the money for me, as money is easily replaced, whereas the time wasted visiting a club where nobody pays you any interest, you cannot get back. I do have a £50 entry fee limit though (as no club is worth paying more than that for a single visit), and I accept the gender-biased penalty for being a single guy. It won’t ever change, so just suck it up. I never expect anything from a swinger club visit. It’s a change from the norm, as simple as that. It is nice though, if I receive more than the usual “Thanks for your money, it’s through there” from the staff, and if I do find people happy to chat with a complete stranger, on his own, not knowing a soul inside, all the better. But I have to say; I do find it an awful lot easier to be a single guy in vanillaland…… | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After some advice please I'm thinking of going to a club and not been before! Is it worth going as a single guys? " Absolutely it is OP, can safely say from a personal standpoint that going to clubs has done nothing but enhance my swinging experience. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have met my (now) girlfriend. Clubs are very much welcoming of single men who are friendly, confident, sociable (with all genders, not just women) and respectful. If you do all of this when there you’ll go far. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people. " Do you find it easy to find women who will meet a group of unknown men in a private setting?  that sounds terrifying to me but each to their own.
But surely in a private setting you're missing out on the social side of swinging which to me is a very important part of the swinging lifestyle, enjoying meeting new people, chatting to people you've met before, or you've only previously chatted to online , whilst enjoying some skinny-dipping and enjoying music and a drink whilst wearing extremely revealing sexy clothing in a safe environment | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people." Considering Char only fancies one in twenty guys at clubs, private parties are simply too small for us. (Bry) | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people. Do you find it easy to find women who will meet a group of unknown men in a private setting? that sounds terrifying to me but each to their own.
But surely in a private setting you're missing out on the social side of swinging which to me is a very important part of the swinging lifestyle, enjoying meeting new people, chatting to people you've met before, or you've only previously chatted to online , whilst enjoying some skinny-dipping and enjoying music and a drink whilst wearing extremely revealing sexy clothing in a safe environment "Yes. I've done it. More luck plus we have the black factor and there are a lot of white women in here that want that so we caotialise on that and have had much luck. Been going 7 years strong and had many parties over the years. As a guy I'd suggest partying up. Some women won't do it but I find many women like the idea of being the centre of attention which feeds Into their desire deep er longing for men to crave them. Don't believe me, look at all the BBC nights at most clubs. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're gonna be bottom of the barrel, overcharged and for the most part most women and couples will be nice but ultimately blank you. Just how it is. I'm black and that a big fetish for white women so you get a better leg over some other none black men but that's only with the women that are into black men only or fantasie about being with black men. Clubs can have a bias against you from the jump being male, disallow you entry from coupling up with a girl and bar you entry or say to you we don't like guys arriving with their friends and again disallow you entry. Yes can keep an open mind, yes can be friendly, etc but I'm telling you like it is with no bullshit. I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people. " Hmmm… I can’t lie, a lot of what you’re saying here doesn’t sit right with me. As a black man myself, I can safely say that I DO NOT “play up” to those who choose to fetishise me for the colour my skin. For some, yes there will be that appeal but for a lot the colour of a man’s skin is a totally irrelevant factor in deciding if they want to sleep with someone. Men are NOT the bottom of the barrel and quite frankly this narrative pisses me off cos it’s simply not true. Dunno what events you’ve been going to but ones I go to very rarely am I outright blanked by someone I approach. Anyone with an ounce of respect would not behave in such a way. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're gonna be bottom of the barrel, overcharged and for the most part most women and couples will be nice but ultimately blank you. Just how it is. I'm black and that a big fetish for white women so you get a better leg over some other none black men but that's only with the women that are into black men only or fantasie about being with black men. Clubs can have a bias against you from the jump being male, disallow you entry from coupling up with a girl and bar you entry or say to you we don't like guys arriving with their friends and again disallow you entry. Yes can keep an open mind, yes can be friendly, etc but I'm telling you like it is with no bullshit. I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people. Hmmm… I can’t lie, a lot of what you’re saying here doesn’t sit right with me. As a black man myself, I can safely say that I DO NOT “play up” to those who choose to fetishise me for the colour my skin. For some, yes there will be that appeal but for a lot the colour of a man’s skin is a totally irrelevant factor in deciding if they want to sleep with someone. Men are NOT the bottom of the barrel and quite frankly this narrative pisses me off cos it’s simply not true. Dunno what events you’ve been going to but ones I go to very rarely am I outright blanked by someone I approach. Anyone with an ounce of respect would not behave in such a way. "
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes. I've done it. More luck plus we have the black factor and there are a lot of white women in here that want that so we caotialise on that and have had much luck. Been going 7 years strong and had many parties over the years. As a guy I'd suggest partying up. Some women won't do it but I find many women like the idea of being the centre of attention which feeds Into their desire deep er longing for men to crave them. Don't believe me, look at all the BBC nights at most clubs." If you rely on 'the black factor' then I can imagine you would not have the best experience in a club, contrary to what some believe to the majority of us sexual attraction is not connected to a persons skin colour. You say look at all the BBC nights, well in the 23ish years I've been attending clubs to my knowledge I've never attended a club which promotes BBC nights and I've been to many clubs over the years, so I can't comment on them, but having people want you only because of your colour sounds very soul destroying. But each to their own, you do you and let others do them, hopefully the OP will have a better experience at clubs than you obviously experienced. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You're gonna be bottom of the barrel, overcharged and for the most part most women and couples will be nice but ultimately blank you. Just how it is. I'm black and that a big fetish for white women so you get a better leg over some other none black men but that's only with the women that are into black men only or fantasie about being with black men. Clubs can have a bias against you from the jump being male, disallow you entry from coupling up with a girl and bar you entry or say to you we don't like guys arriving with their friends and again disallow you entry. Yes can keep an open mind, yes can be friendly, etc but I'm telling you like it is with no bullshit. I'd suggest making a group with your friends or like minded men and making private parties. Better experience and more hands on desk to find people. Additionally less drama on you to find people. Hmmm… I can’t lie, a lot of what you’re saying here doesn’t sit right with me. As a black man myself, I can safely say that I DO NOT “play up” to those who choose to fetishise me for the colour my skin. For some, yes there will be that appeal but for a lot the colour of a man’s skin is a totally irrelevant factor in deciding if they want to sleep with someone. Men are NOT the bottom of the barrel and quite frankly this narrative pisses me off cos it’s simply not true. Dunno what events you’ve been going to but ones I go to very rarely am I outright blanked by someone I approach. Anyone with an ounce of respect would not behave in such a way. " Perhaps you haven't been outright blanked by someone because "Oh goody, here comes a black guy!".....? I've been blanked by several couples in clubs. I've 'read the room' and watched heads turn away as I've approached people. I chatted with the female half of one couple at a club bar one time, where the hubby stood between us, his left arm firmly on the bar, forming a very obvious barrier between his wife and myself, him not looking at me at all, until he whispered in her ear and they moved away.... I was refused entry to Chams last year, even though a very prominent regular was signing me in as her guest, and I do hold a couple's membership there. I was asked to prove she and I had arranged the meet, so had to show my Fab conversation from my phone.... 
I'm back in Birmingham in June, and plan on visiting Xtasia for the first time. I'll be with a female friend though, and will give an honest review afterwards  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I've been blanked by several couples in clubs. I've 'read the room' and watched heads turn away as I've approached people. I chatted with the female half of one couple at a club bar one time, where the hubby stood between us, his left arm firmly on the bar, forming a very obvious barrier between his wife and myself, him not looking at me at all, until he whispered in her ear and they moved away.... I was refused entry to Chams last year, even though a very prominent regular was signing me in as her guest, and I do hold a couple's membership there. I was asked to prove she and I had arranged the meet, so had to show my Fab conversation from my phone....
I'm back in Birmingham in June, and plan on visiting Xtasia for the first time. I'll be with a female friend though, and will give an honest review afterwards "My advice to people is to always approach a friendly, chatty group, not a couple and not a single lady, in my opinion it has a low success rate. Decent clubs will always question the validity of a couple actually being a couple because it happens that a single guy will offer to pay for a women's membership so the guy can get in cheaper and possibly in during a couples only event and then once inside they go their separate ways. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Perhaps you haven't been outright blanked by someone because "Oh goody, here comes a black guy!".....? I've been blanked by several couples in clubs. I've 'read the room' and watched heads turn away as I've approached people. I chatted with the female half of one couple at a club bar one time, where the hubby stood between us, his left arm firmly on the bar, forming a very obvious barrier between his wife and myself, him not looking at me at all, until he whispered in her ear and they moved away.... I was refused entry to Chams last year, even though a very prominent regular was signing me in as her guest, and I do hold a couple's membership there. I was asked to prove she and I had arranged the meet, so had to show my Fab conversation from my phone.... "Rubbish! Absolute rubbish! I’ve been to many club nights where it’s not billed as an interracial night, in fact those have been where some of my most memorable swinging experiences have occurred. I like to think people are warm to me because I approach them in a respectful way nothing to do with the colour of my skin! Maybe you need stop projecting your own personal experiences and grievances on to others because I see you run the same narrative all the time on these kind of threads. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It may not sit right with you but that's how it is. My Asian gfs say it's the same with them in the dating game, that white guys fetishism them. It just happens. Yes I have hooked up with girls that like that I'm black. Meh. When they ask to play up to that shit I'm a no but if I'm looking to hit. Sure I'll be your experience. That's a lot of dudes on here. How it is. As a single man on fab, you are bottom of the barrel. It's so gle women, then couples and finally men. Clubs are the same, we are their pay pigs, we pay the most in and get the most cruteny. Just make your piece with that and do t care what other options of you. Do your thing. Some will like you other won't. When you go in being just you and that's it. It'll be better for you. I'd suggest going with friends incase you can't hit, you got your mates with you. Then after the club go normally clubbing. What we do makes it fun" Well I for one am not looking to “hit” as you put it. So that may be where the two of us differ in our mindsets. That’s exactly what I do, go along and be my unapologetic and authentic self which has served me VERY well during my time on here. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"After some advice please I'm thinking of going to a club and not been before! Is it worth going as a single guys? " . I would advise go as you will always be wondering what it’s like.I have been a member at my local club for 7 years now.I treat it as a night out to a pub or club only I am meeting like minded people.If I approach a couple then I speak to both the male & female. I attend last Friday for the first time in a long time and had a enjoyable evening chatting with a older Indian couple as well as a chatting and a bit of a play with a younger Russian girl.Also it’s worth remembering that we are not everyone type and you may not get any adult play.As long as you treat it as a night out with the mindset of no expectations no disappointments I think you will be fine. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I've been blanked by several couples in clubs. I've 'read the room' and watched heads turn away as I've approached people. I chatted with the female half of one couple at a club bar one time, where the hubby stood between us, his left arm firmly on the bar, forming a very obvious barrier between his wife and myself, him not looking at me at all, until he whispered in her ear and they moved away.... I was refused entry to Chams last year, even though a very prominent regular was signing me in as her guest, and I do hold a couple's membership there. I was asked to prove she and I had arranged the meet, so had to show my Fab conversation from my phone....
I'm back in Birmingham in June, and plan on visiting Xtasia for the first time. I'll be with a female friend though, and will give an honest review afterwards
My advice to people is to always approach a friendly, chatty group, not a couple and not a single lady, in my opinion it has a low success rate.
Decent clubs will always question the validity of a couple actually being a couple because it happens that a single guy will offer to pay for a women's membership so the guy can get in cheaper and possibly in during a couples only event and then once inside they go their separate ways."I wasn't trying to sign in as a couple though, I was signing in as a single guy non-member on a guest pass | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Maybe you need stop projecting your own personal experiences and grievances on to others because I see you run the same narrative all the time on these kind of threads. " The OP asked if visiting a club as a single guy was "worth it". I replied based on my experiences as a single guy, which I am entitled to do, as you are entitled to voice your opinion also. Let's respect one another, and agree to differ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It may not sit right with you but that's how it is. My Asian gfs say it's the same with them in the dating game, that white guys fetishism them. It just happens. Yes I have hooked up with girls that like that I'm black. Meh. When they ask to play up to that shit I'm a no but if I'm looking to hit. Sure I'll be your experience. That's a lot of dudes on here. How it is. As a single man on fab, you are bottom of the barrel. It's so gle women, then couples and finally men. Clubs are the same, we are their pay pigs, we pay the most in and get the most cruteny. Just make your piece with that and do t care what other options of you. Do your thing. Some will like you other won't. When you go in being just you and that's it. It'll be better for you. I'd suggest going with friends incase you can't hit, you got your mates with you. Then after the club go normally clubbing. What we do makes it fun Well I for one am not looking to “hit” as you put it. So that may be where the two of us differ in our mindsets. That’s exactly what I do, go along and be my unapologetic and authentic self which has served me VERY well during my time on here. " 💯% 👌 As another single male (profile, not relationship status) who's never thought of himself as bottom of the barrel I've been to more single guy nights than couples ones over the years. I've always had a blast. Because despite them being held in swingers clubs where of course sex is potentially going to happen it's a social night out, whether I've been as a couple or as a single. Expectancy of anything happening is always zero. If it does, great. If it doesn't, then that's fine. My experience is down to me and not the fault of the club or other attendees. If singles are asking the question of 'are clubs worth it?' then you need to define in your own head what that 'worth' is. And if the answer is 'am I going to have sex' then don't go. Because whether you get in for free or £1000 if the value you place on a club visit is determined by the outcome of getting your dick wet then it's just a transactional event, rather than a social one, where you're attending to simply enjoy the company of others. 🤷♂️ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm in a similar position. Never attended a club but have been approached by event organisers a few times. Rather than whether it is "worth it" I'm just trying to figure out etiquette as I'd likely be attending alone without knowing anyone there in advance. I think my bar is a lot lower, rather than expecting sex it's just to avoid being labelled a creep or even worse...."the wanking dead" as I heard another member describe (is that even a thing?!?!). If I can, I'm going to try and get to a daytime social before a club." The best approach and one that should be easy. It's easy to avoid what you fear. Behave the same as you would going to a bar, vanilla club or hey, even a business networking event. Introduce yourself. Talk to people as human beings rather than as someone to fuck, regardless of whether they're clothed or naked. Don't follow people round and if you find yourself close by to people playing give them space. Don't inch closer, get your dick out or worse, start touching without any communication. Don't stand there and give cringy instructions or commentary. Guys that do the above are the ones people complain about, avoid and who create the stereotype of negative behaviour that many assume all men possess. It's as if they can't control their urges and act like horny teenagers the second they see a naked body. Just don't be that guy. It's really that simple. 🤷♂️ | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm in a similar position. Never attended a club but have been approached by event organisers a few times. Rather than whether it is "worth it" I'm just trying to figure out etiquette as I'd likely be attending alone without knowing anyone there in advance. I think my bar is a lot lower, rather than expecting sex it's just to avoid being labelled a creep or even worse...."the wanking dead" as I heard another member describe (is that even a thing?!?!). If I can, I'm going to try and get to a daytime social before a club." The wanking dead definitely exist, and can often be found in herds gathered round unsuspecting single and couples | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
