FabSwingers.com forum: Too laid back

By *urplebadger69Couple
12 weeks ago

Colchester

From our POV, we prefer people to be more direct and minimal conversation.

Not in your face direct, more like asking questions such as, what are you looking for today? That kind of thing.

Other people may prefer longer conversation than we do. It's a bit of nightmare for single guys as it can feel like a lose lose situation.

By *maginitivemind OP Man
12 weeks ago

east mids

"From our POV, we prefer people to be more direct and minimal conversation.

Not in your face direct, more like asking questions such as, what are you looking for today? That kind of thing.

Other people may prefer longer conversation than we do. It's a bit of nightmare for single guys as it can feel like a lose lose situation."

Thank you guys

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
12 weeks ago

Coventry

Totally. It's actually more about ballance and the ability to read the room. I started as a single guy on the club scene and also know things from a couples point of veiw. Pushy and too keen doesn't work. Neither does sitting back and expecting people to come to you.

I think first timing is everything. Is it an appropriate moment to go introduce yourself? For example we've been in the thick of conversation with people and a guys has just waded in uninvited when it wasn't really appropriate (especially when the see you talking to another guy). This puts your back up when its done rudely. Again yes get out there, join in but read the room first.

Then it's a just a case of introducing yourself in a pleasant no pressure way. Then the rest is purely a matter of reading the room and playing it by ear. If you can do this you'll know when to walkway, when you're being freind zoned (sometimes we make freinds we don't want to have sex with) and when things maybe leading to the bedroom. Again don't be pushy and don't try to force a situation that clearly isn't happening. I think some people (not just guys) get so driven by their own desires they become deaf to the social cues being transmitted by the people they're chasing (consciously or subconsciously).

One things for sure sitting back and doing nothing genrally gets nothing.

Also point out your aproach and how you treat others is important because others are watching too. And people appreciate those who just get it and approach is right. So by doing it right with others helps sell you to others.

I would also this advise is not limited to single guys.