FabSwingers.com forum: Solo sex club thread!

By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

Has anyone here gone to clubs solo? What are your thoughts on dress down policies, the vibes, the ClIQUES (yes we can talk about cliques again!) and the general sexiness of the place? On paper they should really be for me but SOMETHING is just unsettling and I'm genuinely over confident in life so it's not shyness...

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

I’ve only ever had a fun time when I’ve gone along with others, or been meeting others there. Flying solo at a swingers club ain’t for me.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

It's definitely better to go with at least friends, good company can make a good night even if it doesn't work out sexy.

The dress down on entry at Cupids is absolutely one of the worst things. I'm a pretty fucking confident person, but even with good company having to strip down before I had a chance to have a look around and acclimatise to the place was jarring and unpleasant.

Some clubs are definitely more open and friendlier. Club play in Blackpool I can't imagine anyone managing to spend much time alone before someone pops up to chat or invite you to join their conversation. Also you don't have to get undressed unless you're going to the play areas after 11.

But yeah. Solo solo isn't a good way to start out. Even if you take a male friend along just for the bants. Though if he's hot too it'll be a benefit for drawing in the greedy girls

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I’ve only ever had a fun time when I’ve gone along with others, or been meeting others there. Flying solo at a swingers club ain’t for me."

Me either apparently!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

I think there’s probably an interesting psychology there. I can’t comment on the specific club (sounds awful though). And I appreciate I’m not a bloke so it will be slightly different. But as a normally confident person - going solo at a sex club would be my nemesis. It’s an environment where the rules are shifted ever so slightly. Just enough to become slightly jarring. Also you’re never the only fish in the pool.

I may actually go away and give this more thought.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
24 weeks ago

Wherever

I’ve gone solo a couple of times and it was the worst experience ever. Possibly because it were couples and women events, with a limited number of single guys allowed, and honestly, as a single straight woman I felt like a third wheel and not welcomed.

Unfortunately the only nights I could ever attend due to my availability but it’s safe to say I won’t be attending again.

Sorry you’ve had this experience Brucey but if I was you I would try maybe a different club and definitely find yourself a club buddy.

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By *orthernJayMan
24 weeks ago

LHR

OP, my thinking is this is a Cupids specific thing!

There’s something about the immediate dress down, the layout of the club, cliques, the bar area, etc, etc; it’s nothing you can put your finger on but I’m not alone in my thinking as I’ve had this conversation previously inside and away from the club.

There’s other clubs within a reasonable distance that ‘do it better’ for solo swingers.

Before the Cupids groupies descend on the thread and my inbox, I’m not suggesting it’s a bad club or poorly run; I’ve visited and played at Cupids enough over the years as a single / couple / group / private event host, so I’m speaking from personal experience.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

I just don’t find the clubs to be sexy environments either. I know some people do, and I don’t want to kink shame, but they don’t do it for me.

Which doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time in a club, if I’m there with the right person/people. Just that the place itself isn’t the thing.

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By *layfulguy123Man
24 weeks ago

strat

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

When you say made to dress down you mean to boxers or fully stark at the front door?

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By *orthernJayMan
24 weeks ago

LHR

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

When you say made to dress down you mean to boxers or fully stark at the front door? "

Boxers et al. upon entry for dudes, some prefer a towel but that seemed ‘out of fashion’ in recent years. In essence, you can’t wear typical clothes to access the club area, this entrance is separated from outside via a reception and changing room.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

When you say made to dress down you mean to boxers or fully stark at the front door? "

Boxers as soon as you walk in!

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"OP, my thinking is this is a Cupids specific thing!

There’s other clubs within a reasonable distance that ‘do it better’ for solo swingers.

I'm popping you a dm!

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By *elloWoman
24 weeks ago

alpha centauri

I've recently started attending clubs on my own and it's great, I just went up to groups who some would call cliques but I see them just as groups of people who have met before and are catching up.

I approached the group and said '_ello I'm here for the first time and I'm on my own would you mind talking to me'

They praised me for coming solo and loved that I actually engaged with them rather than waiting for someone to come to me, I have also seen single men do this so it wasn't just because I was a woman. you have to be proactive when meeting new people.

If I had gone with someone I doubt I would have done that, in the past with my ex we would attend a club and not have the guts to approach and then spend the entire evening just talking to each other.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

When you say made to dress down you mean to boxers or fully stark at the front door?

Boxers as soon as you walk in! "

I'd hate that too!

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By *viatrixWoman
24 weeks ago

Redhill

80% of the time I’ve gone to Clubs on my own (not been to many, mind you) and my experience has been mostly positive.

The last one though, a good few months ago though really knocked my confidence. It was really, really busy but it seemed that most people knew each other. I am a voyeuse, so I am perfectly happy just walking around and watching. But the social aspect is important. But I spent 2 hours sipping my drink alone and when going around watching I was followed around and pestered… not good at all. I left and don’t know if I’ll want to go by myself again. I felt I was losing my mojo, usually people gravitate to me and chat to me!

I did go to a few people and try to join in convos but was mostly ignored.

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By *-MrGatsby-.Man
24 weeks ago

London and Sandy

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

It's not just me! I recently went solo (it wasn't a dress down occasion) but I just felt that wasn't for me. Though I'm not shy, but I did feel that trying to force myself to get included with others, I'd have to become something I'm not. Plus there was also that unsettling feeling too.

However, I did come away feeling that I'd learnt more about myself and what I enjoy and what I don't. So not entirely a negative or wasted experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I've mostly been to a club on my own and I think it's much easier when you go with someone ornat least know people going there as well as it really makes the overall experience more comfortable. It's a psychological barrier I'm still trying to overcome as I find I'm great in group social situations but there have been times I overthink and nerves get the better of me in clubs.

I get what you mean about cliques though. Some people are regulars so will talk to other regulars which can make it hard to break into and as a single guy, you HAVE to make the first approach which I've struggled with. I keep thinking clubs may not be for me but I'm being stubborn in really wanting to make it work

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By *uckslut and MCouple
24 weeks ago

Poole

Can I throw my thoughts into the hat? For single men going solo, have you thought about a greedy girls or gangbang night? Genrally the ladies / couples are looking for the attention of more than 1 or 2 men. So not, so much time and awkardness of chit chat before play.

Dress down / towels is easier for this type of event as the lady is not going off the boil, waiting for you undressing ect. And the guys that wear clothes and litrally just unzip the fly and flop out. Is not atttactive, and the zip / belt and fabric bashing around our bits is not comfy. We've made the effort dressing in lingery ect. At least get your trousers down. I hear what your saying about being naked, but better for ease of play. You can buy towels, with snap closers, that you wear like a kilt. My Mr uses them, and has a pocket for condoms and lube.

Every club vibe is differant. And no 2 nighrs are the same. Just depends who's in, and what they looking for. But even at a gg / gb night, the ladies can say no.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
24 weeks ago

Trowbridge

I goto clubs on my own, I’ve been lucky & had some lovely people talk to me, maybe easier because I’m a woman? Don’t think I’d go if I was a single male

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
24 weeks ago

Leeds

I went this week alone, it was a ladies night & I won't lie I was absolutely nervous as fuck!!

I wish I'd gone with someone & not driven so I could of had at least a drink.

I'm pleased I went but next time I'll do it differently.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I've mostly been to a club on my own and I think it's much easier when you go with someone ornat least know people going there as well as it really makes the overall experience more comfortable. It's a psychological barrier I'm still trying to overcome as I find I'm great in group social situations but there have been times I overthink and nerves get the better of me in clubs.

See I make first approaches usually and have never struggled with that. But I think between not finding most of the people attractive, it smelling sweaty, and the few hot women absolutely SURROUNDED by men, I just thought it wasn't the right dynamic for me. But there's others!

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By *oiluvfunMan
24 weeks ago

Penrith

Hi Brucey! Don’t take your experience in Cupids personally mate, it’s just the way clubs are for single guys. I’ve been to 8 clubs as a single guy, to a total of 19 visits, and they’re pretty much all the same. I’ve yet to hear “Fantastic! Another single guy!” whenever I’ve checked in lol……

I’ve done 6 visits as a ‘couple’ with a female friend, and the difference of welcome is, quite frankly, depressing. It’s like I’ve rocketed up the desirability/attractiveness/trustworthy stakes, simply by being in the company of a female, where in reality, there is nothing different about me when I’m flying solo…….

Personally, I like dress down clubs. In the simplest form; it’s what fits my image of what a swinger club ‘should’ be like lol?

Club Play remains my worst club experience. It was 2 hours and 45 minutes of my life I could have done so much more with…..

You’re lucky you have so many clubs on your doorstep though, so you can try others

‘They’ don’t like the word clique though. ‘They’ prefer the term ‘established groups of friends’……..so I call them ‘EGOF’s’

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I get what you mean about cliques though. Some people are regulars so will talk to other regulars which can make it hard to break into and as a single guy, you HAVE to make the first approach which I've struggled with. I keep thinking clubs may not be for me but I'm being stubborn in really wanting to make it work

I get what you mean and making that approach is half the battle won for me as I means I'm not on my own overthinking

but I get those other factors too, throw in the fact people are literally having sex a wall away that you can hear and it does feel a bit weird. I will say that it could just be that specific night? No 2 club nights are the same in my experience and it's all about the people there that makes it either a good night or a bad one.

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By *ife NinjaMan
24 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I go to clubs solo. It can sometimes be a daunting experience.

I quite like stripping off, so the dress down thing isn't an issue. It is difficult to engage in conversation, and often people have arranged to meet there, which adds another layer of complexity.

I find clubs with hot tubs are the best. It's a great ice breaker, but I've also had the difficulty of just aimlessly sitting around supping on a glass of Pepsi

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By *electableicecreamMan
24 weeks ago

The West

I don't enjoy clubs at all. It's just not a scene where I can relax and be myself. I'm much happier at day time socials where I can relax and get to know people.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
24 weeks ago

Tamworth

I’ve mostly gone to clubs solo. Recognise it’s possibly a different experience to that of a single guy but I’ve always enjoyed it. I prefer knowing I can please myself - it’s harder to factor in two peoples preferences!

For a few years, Chams was the only club I went to so I’ve never minded dressing down straight off. Everyone else is in the same boat so I don’t feel uncomfortable.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own! "

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)"

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

Let's go midnight! Get the train now!

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By *ansoffateMan
24 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I've never been solo and I don't think it would appeal.

I've enjoyed a few when I have gone with a partner. There can be a bit of a cliquey feel, it varied though.

There was often a kind of oh you are new here let me show me you the ropes type vibe. My partner used to soak it up with a smile and then say: so where can I fuck, I like to be watched, can we fuck here in the bar, on the pool table?

It's not really my scene, but I will gladly dabble with the right company.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
24 weeks ago

Wherever

I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Actually it reminds me - when I first joined fab, Incandescent (i think) was arranging a fab forum club visit - with the intention of doing a different one on a regular basis!

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before. "

That IS a good idea!

Go for it D!

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Actually it reminds me - when I first joined fab, Incandescent (i think) was arranging a fab forum club visit - with the intention of doing a different one on a regular basis! "

I miss her.

She was ace.

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By *agneto.Man
24 weeks ago

Bham

Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

Let's go midnight! Get the train now!"

Whoa there…. I believe I asked first.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

That IS a good idea!

Go for it D!"

Christ…. Mark the date down. I agree with Brucey

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

Let's go midnight! Get the train now!

Whoa there…. I believe I asked first."

Can we make it a 4some?

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times. "

How do you find the chat groups??

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

Let's go midnight! Get the train now!

Whoa there…. I believe I asked first."

I mean more the merrier surely...

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By *oleene HoneybeeWoman
24 weeks ago

on the naughty side of the street

I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
24 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"OP, my thinking is this is a Cupids specific thing!

I'm inclined to agree. I don't mind immediate dress down, It's absolutely fine at Chams. I am not a fan of Cupids. Maybe we've just not been on the right night but it's the least friendly club we've been to and it smells of damp.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"OP, my thinking is this is a Cupids specific thing!

Yeah I'm just hearing a lot of bad stuff about cupids now to be fair

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
24 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

In Glasgow there’s often predrinks meet-ups organised, and advertised on here. That seems like a good way to meet and chat with a few people before all going along to the club together.

But … it can be cliquey (not intentionally, just that it’s the same people and they all know each other) and it can lead to the whole thing feeling like a social and not a sex thing.

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By *viatrixWoman
24 weeks ago

Redhill

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable. "

That is exactly how I felt last time I went to a Club… twas awful.

I empathise with single guys now!

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable. "

Give me a nod next time. I'll be your chaperone

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"In Glasgow there’s often predrinks meet-ups organised, and advertised on here. That seems like a good way to meet and chat with a few people before all going along to the club together.

But … it can be cliquey (not intentionally, just that it’s the same people and they all know each other) and it can lead to the whole thing feeling like a social and not a sex thing."

Thing is I get the cliques, they naturally happen.

But my word, make and effort with people going on solo no? It wasn't mad busy either!

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By * and M lookingCouple
24 weeks ago

Worcester

I go to clubs solo 95% of the time.

You won't find a safer environment and I much prefer face to face meetings.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
24 weeks ago

Wherever

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

That IS a good idea!

Go for it D!

Christ…. Mark the date down. I agree with Brucey

I have only a couple of brain cells functioning at the moment so not really sure how to go about it but it was on my mind for a while now. Some kind of “pool” where we can state availability and location to organise ourselves and possibly car share, that kind of thing, if it makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Can we hope on this thread ? I appreciate we are not solo. But we are nervous about out first club visit.

If any of you solo people might want to team up with us for some support and visit a club together we might be intrested in that.

I'm not saying we'd play with you, I'm saying we'd make sure you were not left alone I'm a corner feeling left out.

Feel free to drop us a message with 'solo club' in it so we know it's from this thread.

Sarah xx

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By *ife NinjaMan
24 weeks ago

Dunfermline

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before. "

Works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable. "

Yeah that's how I imagine it - I'll have internal pressure and will feel like a piece of meat and will probably freeze and go home having not even left the bar

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
24 weeks ago

Coventry

I been to cubs as a single guy and still on occasion on my own or for a while I'm waiting for Mrs to come later. I think you have to treat it a it like if you were going to the pub alone. Looking to socialise, make connections and maybe pull but also just being happy to take in the ambiance and what's going on around you. Because it's all dependent on who's in. You may not find your people and no one owes you entertainment or their time.

Any advice is actually not much different to coming from a couples perspective. Basically people genrally won't come to you (everone tends to be a little shy). So you have to make effort to say _ello. However you also need to be able to read the room and judge when the time is right. And don't be that annoying pest who keeps trying to push forward with an encounter that really isn't going anywhere. Be OK with no, not for us or even the cold shoulder. People are there to find their own thing, so don't take it to heart and move on. Rejection is normal and OK. As for cliques there common in clubs. Yes it's not the most sociable freindly aspect of clubs but again people are there to do their own thing and people sometimes just want to concentrate in the groups they know and that is OK. Just put yourself out there with good humour and hopefully you'll find your people. Sometimes you do sometimes you don't.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable.

Yeah that's how I imagine it - I'll have internal pressure and will feel like a piece of meat and will probably freeze and go home having not even left the bar

Yeah it's kinda like going to a high school reunion but you didn't go to the high school...

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I been to cubs as a single guy and still on occasion on my own or for a while I'm waiting for Mrs to come later. I think you have to treat it a it like if you were going to the pub alone. Looking to socialise, make connections and maybe pull but also just being happy to take in the ambiance and what's going on around you. Because it's all dependent on who's in. You may not find your people and no one owes you entertainment or their time.

Thinking about it I think last night it was the immediate dress down that put me off. Other than that, I'm more than happy to mingle with people in pubs!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
24 weeks ago

Essex

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own!

Take a friend xx

(You know you have a few of us)

Fuck yes please... Can we take the sausage too

Let's go midnight! Get the train now!

Whoa there…. I believe I asked first.

I mean more the merrier surely..."

Hmmm. Second time I’ve agreed with you

That’s enough internet for today

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
24 weeks ago

wonderland.

I was going to clubs solo for many many years. Not all clubs suited me.. not all events worked for me but when I found what did, it was great.

However I often went and just chatted.. I've also been in the scene long enough that it's very rare I go to a club and don't know someone. I prefer dress down straight away clubs.. I find it makes for a better atmosphere..I always have a nice time even if that means just sat people watching and chatting to new people

Some will say it's easy as your a lady. ... well Mr had also been going to clubs alone for about 2 years when we met... and he had some good times too.

Cali

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
24 weeks ago

Coventry

Thinking about it I think last night it was the immediate dress down that put me off. Other than that, I'm more than happy to mingle with people in pubs!"

The dress down thing is nothing to worry about. Honestly you don't notice it and it becomes a none things and more comfortable.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

Thinking about it I think last night it was the immediate dress down that put me off. Other than that, I'm more than happy to mingle with people in pubs!

The dress down thing is nothing to worry about. Honestly you don't notice it and it becomes a none things and more comfortable. "

Again as a single turning up knowing no one, it's probably different. I like my body but jeez if you're out of a comfort zone somewhat already, don't insist I have to walk around in my tighty whities!

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By *oleene HoneybeeWoman
24 weeks ago

on the naughty side of the street

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable.

That is exactly how I felt last time I went to a Club… twas awful.

I empathise with single guys now! "

I know right... Take a friend always

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By *oleene HoneybeeWoman
24 weeks ago

on the naughty side of the street

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable.

Yeah that's how I imagine it - I'll have internal pressure and will feel like a piece of meat and will probably freeze and go home having not even left the bar

Yes exactly x I did debate leaving.

It's hard for anyone going solo

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By *agneto.Man
24 weeks ago

Bham

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups?? "

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

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By *oiluvfunMan
24 weeks ago

Penrith

"I've done the flying solo and it sucks.

I know a single women A UNICORN that is wanted in club setting and yes it is easier for us.

I would never compare how it is for single guys you have it rough.

But god I felt so awkward stood at the bar it took me ages to feel comfortable.

Yeah that's how I imagine it - I'll have internal pressure and will feel like a piece of meat and will probably freeze and go home having not even left the bar

Yeah it's kinda like going to a high school reunion but you didn't go to the high school...

I likened it to ‘Moses parting the waves’ and ‘wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak’, but now just refer to it as the ‘gatecrasher feeling’……when that moment clouds over me, I’m out of there

What I’ve done in the past, before a club visit, is go somewhere for a meal first, to put myself in an unfamiliar place, and start conversations with strangers. Sort of a test drive, you know? Two visits to Townhouse, I went to the bar of the Village Hotel just down the road, for my evening meal, and found it quite easy to chat with strangers getting ready to go out. I never met anyone going to TH though! I went to the Albert and Lion on Blackpool front, before heading to Club Play, and you could not have had two further apart extremes of busy/friendly to quiet/unwelcoming……

But that was my experience, and other nights could be different for others. Clubs are very much ‘pot luck’ as a single guy

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By *anilla switchWoman
24 weeks ago

Hampshire

I started my journey going solo to clubs, scary yes but also exhilarating. I went a handful of times and eventually made friends, the rest is history.

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By *ruceyy OP Man
24 weeks ago

London

"I started my journey going solo to clubs, scary yes but also exhilarating. I went a handful of times and eventually made friends, the rest is history.

Yeah but you're hot! Haha

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By *anilla switchWoman
24 weeks ago

Hampshire

"I started my journey going solo to clubs, scary yes but also exhilarating. I went a handful of times and eventually made friends, the rest is history.

Yeah but you're hot! Haha"

Thanks but being slightly older can knock your confidence. Still, I’m pleased with my journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do. "

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

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By *cottish guy 555Man
24 weeks ago

London

I've visited many clubs up and down the country, both with company and solo. Both the solo visits and accompanied were a mixed bag with the majority being positive experiences.

I find it very much depends on the crowd and the event but I agree that going with company is my preferred option. That way you are always guaranteed someone to talk to.

But everyone should try a club, even alone, at least a few times. They're not as daunting as many people imagine.

I never tried cupids while I was up that way. I got the impression an old, ugly fuck like me wouldn't really fit in. The dress down thing was something I hadn't experienced down south, but after I visited townhouse and club play I realised it wasn't a big deal.

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By *osey WalesMan
24 weeks ago

Surrey

I think this may just be club specific. I have never been to this one but i go to quite a few others. Often as a solo and other times with company.

I dont mind going alone. I chat to people, i'm polite and if something happens, something happens. Going with others is less daunting of course but the night is what you make of it.

If anyone is looking for a club buddy, drop me a message

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By *cottish guy 555Man
24 weeks ago

London

Regarding the club buddy aspect, I think it's a much underrated relationship.

I've been lucky enough to be regarded as such by a few friends and it's interesting what being a good one involves.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
24 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss

I prefer it solo, or go in together/group and split up, approaching a group can be Intimidating for some men, so I like to make myself approachable to men I find attractive. I guess my confidence and stature help deter unwanted attention, I'm pretty clear with my intentions

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
24 weeks ago

Cheshire

You get out what you put in. Even as a couple it's a little it can be a bit uncomfortable to approach a stranger and break the ice.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
24 weeks ago

Coventry

Thinking about it I think last night it was the immediate dress down that put me off. Other than that, I'm more than happy to mingle with people in pubs!

The dress down thing is nothing to worry about. Honestly you don't notice it and it becomes a none things and more comfortable.

I've been that guy before. Although it's fair to say been a naturist anyways in vanilla life I suppose dress down isn't an issue for me. But dressed up vs dress down I really don't think is the real difficulty. It's hard going on your own anyway regardless. But at the end of the day it is what it is. Go or don't it's your decision, we can't make it for you or make it any easier. All I know from personal experience it's not easy at all but glad I have and enjoyed the experiences I've enjoyed and the people I've met.

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By *oiluvfunMan
24 weeks ago

Penrith

"I started my journey going solo to clubs, scary yes but also exhilarating. I went a handful of times and eventually made friends, the rest is history.

Yeah but you're hot! Haha

Thanks but being slightly older can knock your confidence. Still, I’m pleased with my journey. "

Try being slightly older and a solo guy! I just go with the mindset of being surprised by a positive experience. My last club visit was to Club Shhh in Newcastle, just before Xmas, and although a quiet night for attendees, and the play areas quite cold, overall it was a nice club, and EVERY member of staff was only too pleased to chat with a new face (ie mine), making me feel welcome. Very rare I’m disappointed to say……

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By *agneto.Man
24 weeks ago

Bham

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time!

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time! "

I watched your TV programme, so already feel like I know you

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By *layfulguy123Man
24 weeks ago

strat

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before. "

100%

I’d gladly go to club with someone even if we had no plan to play together

Purely someone who can drink with and have a laugh if all else fails

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By *mmaleiaWoman
24 weeks ago

Trowbridge

[Removed by poster at 06/07/24 15:30:00]

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By *agneto.Man
24 weeks ago

Bham

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time!

I watched your TV programme, so already feel like I know you

I would like to deny that I was Terry from dogging tales!! I haven't been on TV unless it's crimewatch.

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By *arkSovereignMan
24 weeks ago

Lancashire

I’ve not yet been to a club, but I have been trying to convince myself to attend some of the clubs in Manchester and Lancashire very soon hopefully. Scary times

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By *antasdeerideMan
24 weeks ago

winfrith

I've been to a few clubs some with partners but mostly on my own cliques not sure what these are but I guess people who know each other stick together, just ignore the cliques unless you have personality to burn and start chatting to people a good place can be the hot tub .

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time!

I watched your TV programme, so already feel like I know you

I would like to deny that I was Terry from dogging tales!! I haven't been on TV unless it's crimewatch. "

Oh!! I have defo confused you then with posh's mate!!

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By *antasdeerideMan
24 weeks ago

winfrith

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time!

I watched your TV programme, so already feel like I know you

I would like to deny that I was Terry from dogging tales!! I haven't been on TV unless it's crimewatch.

Oh!! I have defo confused you then with posh's mate!! "
Beckham?

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By *agneto.Man
23 weeks ago

Bham

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

Good luck !!

Will hopefully bump into you one time!

I watched your TV programme, so already feel like I know you

I would like to deny that I was Terry from dogging tales!! I haven't been on TV unless it's crimewatch.

Oh!! I have defo confused you then with posh's mate!! Beckham?"

Prefer it if you call me golden balls, mate.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
23 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I guess experiences will differ for men and women in clubs but I prefer to go alone, I like to do my own thing.

Always had great experiences and it's safe. But like I say I get how it might be different for men

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
23 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

[Removed by poster at 07/07/24 23:57:47]

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By *nnCeeWoman
23 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

I was also going to say I'd accompany you, if you wanted a buddy, but seems you've plenty of offers xx

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By *herry delightWoman
23 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

As a woman it's a different experience, I must say I don't like the look of most clubs , but the one I have been going to recently is lovely it kept it country pub feel and no porn so it doesn't feel sleazy.

I don't have to worry about going on my own as it feels safe and it's run by a woman who is behind the bar at all times if you have any problems.

As for the dress code again it's definitely from my point of view, as for the most part (there is the odd exception) it's nice seeing the men walking around with nothing on but a towel.

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By *andynecklaceWoman
23 weeks ago

Someplace

I was thinking about going alone soon but I feel like I'd be too nervous

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

Clubs have never really appealed to me. I'm too much of a scardy-cat to even entertain the notion.

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By *xx234sumCouple
23 weeks ago

Stockport

I've wanted to try a club for ages... But it's not been possible to go as a couple. Contemplated trying one out on my own but I'm quite shy (til you get to know me)so the thought is terrifying - especially with all those cliques and perfect looking women

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By *exy4youxxWoman
23 weeks ago

Pontefract

"I want to go to a club, but not sure I'll ever find the courage to go on my own! "

If you ever going to a club im going to would be happy to meet up there so your not alone

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By *adyluck..Woman
23 weeks ago

West Yorkshire

These days I go solo but to one club only so know plenty there and always have a good time, but to try a new one eek nooo be too scared and daunting

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"Yeah I go on my own. I think chat groups before hand are great. Plus you get to know a few more people every time you go so you never really go alone after the first few times.

How do you find the chat groups??

The evening's event organisers set them up. Not all do. But they'll usually mention it in the forum advert if they do.

Ah thanks.. Another unknown forum to venture into

I was also going to say I'd accompany you, if you wanted a buddy, but seems you've plenty of offers xx"

I think a forum club visit is on the cards!!

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

So sorry you had a bad experience OP

I’m sadder to hear this as I was thinking of attended one of the the Wicjed nights at Swindon solo but now I’ve really got second thoughts

I’ll have to find a wingman or a winglady to have my first experience..

Hope you try again sometime and it’s a better experience for you

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By *urls and DressesWoman
23 weeks ago

Somewhere near here

I would love to have the confidence to go alone.

Dress down straight away would be a big no no for me

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
23 weeks ago

Next Door

I have gone to a club many times, on my own. My 1st ever visit, I went on my own.

It can be daunting, especially if you are going to a new club or a different event night.

I have got to know people over time, its taken a while and that's probably because I'm quiet/shy.

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By *arcteggMan
23 weeks ago

grays

I’ve been solo twice - and felt like I was just a pervert tbh . Huge amount of guys walking aimlessly around ( it was an afternoon in Kent countryside) I left when I realised I was doing exactly the same as all the other single guys .

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
23 weeks ago

Next Door

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before. "

I did a" find a club buddy"thread a few years ago, it was quite popular, but it fizzled out.

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By *hilloutMan
23 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've attended clubs numerous times on my own.

I won't lie, it can be a very intimidating experience at first. If you don't know anyone attending it can be daunting. Starting a conversation with those present can be challenging. I say this as someone who considers himself outgoing and confident!

It's commonplace to see men just in the corner looking uncomfortable or unsure what to do with themselves. Then you have the creepy ones that are wanking while watching people go at it, or worse, following them around.

Like all things, it becomes easier and less unsettling with repeated exposure. If you forge friendships and attend with people you know the experience is much better.

One thing I will say; clubs function very much on a first appearance basis. If you're attractive and in shape, breaking the ice and making your visit a "productive" one is far easier

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By *entlemanFoxMan
23 weeks ago

North East / London

Interesting thread.

I have been to four different clubs around the country and they all have a different feel.

My experience is that dress down friendlier than non dress down.

EGOFs are very common and really difficult to join.

As an experiment at one club I sat at the bar next to where everyone had to collect their towels and locker keys.

I said good afternoon to everyone who came in, as you would in the street, addressing the male when it was a couple.

40% rudely blanked me, doing things like physically turning their backs to me.

40% pretended they hadn’t heard.

10% said good afternoon back.

10% said good afternoon and added some social pleasantry.

No one started a conversation.

Now I just go to a club if I know there will be people I already know going or to use the hot tub and sauna and treat it like a mini spa.

If anyone fancies a forum club trip I would be up for that.

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By *hilloutMan
23 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Actually it reminds me - when I first joined fab, Incandescent (i think) was arranging a fab forum club visit - with the intention of doing a different one on a regular basis! "

Aww I remember Incandescent! She was lovely. Possessed a singular wit

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By *hunky GentMan
23 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I would love to have the confidence to go alone.

Dress down straight away would be a big no no for me"

I'd happily go with you.

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By *iss AtlantisWoman
23 weeks ago

Travelling

I am a solo club goer. I usually have no problem starting conversations with random people but there have been a few occasions where I left early because people were already chatting in groups and I felt a bit invisible. So club visits can be a hit and miss, but as some people said above a forum club meet might be a fun experience?

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By *oiluvfunMan
23 weeks ago

Penrith

"I’ve not yet been to a club, but I have been trying to convince myself to attend some of the clubs in Manchester and Lancashire very soon hopefully. Scary times

Don’t be scared mate; they’re really quite underwhelming places……

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By *ruceyy OP Man
23 weeks ago

London

Right fuck this place.

Now open for SOUTH LONDON CLUB BUDDIES!

Don't have to be someone I want to have sex with! Just good chat and vibes!

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By *rHotNottsMan
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Only ever been to clubs or group socials with others. As a guy I imagine it’s quite awkward and you feel a bit creepy / Jonny no mates.

But I also don’t go into pubs , restaurants or coffee shops alone outside of working away.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
23 weeks ago

Wirral

"I just don’t find the clubs to be sexy environments either. I know some people do, and I don’t want to kink shame, but they don’t do it for me.

Which doesn’t mean I can’t have a good time in a club, if I’m there with the right person/people. Just that the place itself isn’t the thing."

I'm the same, it's just not an environment that suits me.

There is an exception. My local club is townhouse, and once a month they do a pub quiz night which runs completely differently to any other night.

You don't have to be a member, there are no limits on single men or ratios of singles to couples, there's no entry fee (there is a ticket price but it goes towards your bar tab, it's not a specific entry fee).

The only time you need to pay is if you're going upstairs to the play rooms, and that's not the main focus of the night.

It's a different crowd to the ones there on a standard club night so it doesn't feel like those established groupings are hard to break into, and I've met some amazing people there.

I think having no expectations or pressure brings people in who maybe wouldn't otherwise go, and it seems to work well as a social event.

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By *herry delightWoman
23 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

I guess a lot of it depends on the type of swinging club you go to.

Most of the ones I have seen mention in this thread I wouldn't go to even if I was with a group of people as they look like night clubs with a bed in the back room. Which is great for some people but personally not my kind of club.

I like the kind of club where you can sit around have a drink and something to eat and chill. Have a game of pool or chess is a good ice breaker. I feel that kind of environment is more inviting for people to come alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"Actually it reminds me - when I first joined fab, Incandescent (i think) was arranging a fab forum club visit - with the intention of doing a different one on a regular basis!

Aww I remember Incandescent! She was lovely. Possessed a singular wit

She was sharp and so much fun

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By *entlemanFoxMan
23 weeks ago

North East / London

"I guess a lot of it depends on the type of swinging club you go to.

I agree, there is a real lack of clubs that are social spaces - most have music that is too loud. It makes it really difficult to speak to people.

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By *aytime78Man
23 weeks ago

HUDDERSFIELD

god help me reading some of the comments as a single guy ive booked into an event in a few weeks and im going on my own but saying that I do most stuff on my own so I'll just go along with it without any expectations I could always bore a few to death with some war stories

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By *nnCeeWoman
23 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Right fuck this place.

Now open for SOUTH LONDON CLUB BUDDIES!

Don't have to be someone I want to have sex with! Just good chat and vibes!"

IN for shits and giggles x

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By *hunky GentMan
23 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Right fuck this place.

Now open for SOUTH LONDON CLUB BUDDIES!

Don't have to be someone I want to have sex with! Just good chat and vibes!

IN for shits and giggles x"

I'm in for the giggles.

You can keep your shit.

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By *hilloutMan
23 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Actually it reminds me - when I first joined fab, Incandescent (i think) was arranging a fab forum club visit - with the intention of doing a different one on a regular basis!

Aww I remember Incandescent! She was lovely. Possessed a singular wit

She was sharp and so much fun"

Sharp as a razor! But lovely once you got to know her

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By *cLovin2Man
23 weeks ago

Reading

Interesting idea about going to a club with someone from fab, not necessarily to play with. But as a friend. Anyone up for visiting clubs in the London area, or north London?

I drive, so as someone else said you could have a drink.

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By *mily36CWoman
23 weeks ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

I've been on my own / do go on my own... I was determined in this day and age a female could head out solo if she wanted.

One hideous experience but far more pleasant and enjoyable experiences outweighing the one ... just believe each club and each day / night will be different

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By *igger2Man
23 weeks ago

Neston

I went solo to a Munch last night, I was comfortable when we were having demonstrations I felt part part of a group and chatting but found myself having to work really hard not to leave when it was everyone for themselves so to speak. I didn't want to follow anyone round. I'd prefer someone to chat with just to shift focus of being alone

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By *ynamicnatureMan
23 weeks ago

Doncaster

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before. "

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
23 weeks ago

Wherever

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

It’s here if anyone wants to comment

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1617218

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By *erkshire8299Man
23 weeks ago

slough

I have been to a couple of clubs on my own..Def felt a bit odd at times...but overall it was worth it...ab fab / Kestrels is fairly near me , but keep putting it off due to being going solo ...but I will get along one day.. solo or maybe paired up.

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By *picyvanilla82Woman
23 weeks ago

Southampton

I always go alone. It doesn't bother me really. Cliques are natural thing, people like to stuck together for encouragement and assurance. That's fine. I'm quite open so will talk to anyone. I like the sex club atmosphere. My kind of party

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By *cLovin2Man
23 weeks ago

Reading

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

It’s here if anyone wants to comment

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1617218"

Thanks Dee.

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By *exy4youxxWoman
22 weeks ago

Pontefract

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

It’s here if anyone wants to comment

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1617218

Thanks Dee."

Weird I don't have permission to view that thread

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

It’s here if anyone wants to comment

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1617218

Thanks Dee.

Weird I don't have permission to view that thread

Ditto:

"Sorry you don't have permission to view this thread."

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I go to clubs on my own. Usually now if I go to London events there's a fair few people I've met before.

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By *cLovin2Man
22 weeks ago

Reading

"I’m starting to think we possibly need a “find a club buddy” matching thread.

I personally think it’s a great idea and haven’t seen one before.

It’s here if anyone wants to comment

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1617218

Thanks Dee.

Weird I don't have permission to view that thread

Try this link

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/clubs/1617218

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
22 weeks ago

Wherever

Looks like the thread has been moved to another place, here’s the link

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/clubs/1617218

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By *exy4youxxWoman
22 weeks ago

Pontefract

"Looks like the thread has been moved to another place, here’s the link

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/clubs/1617218"

Thank you... got it x

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By *d4fun73Man
22 weeks ago

Shipley

"This is half in relation to my Cupid's experience last night which if you didn't know, was not the one for me

I pretty much go on my own including that one!. It takes time to build up friends etc.

I don't particularly like the dress down thing though straight away and I disagree with women getting in for free, apart from that it's what you make it

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By *urls and DressesWoman
22 weeks ago

Somewhere near here

"I would love to have the confidence to go alone.

Dress down straight away would be a big no no for me

I'd happily go with you.

Eh, why not?! Let’s do it!

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