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Single male. First time experience at a club

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
50 weeks ago

halifax

Hi all. I’m trying to get the nerve to attend a club. As a single guy I’m extremely nervous about attending by myself.

Could any single tell me about their first time at a club

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By *cottish guy 555Man
50 weeks ago

London

Was absolutely amazing. Had such a lovely time using the facilities and chatting to people that I kept going back.

Made a friend my first time in a club and we made a regular thing of going on a Friday night for a couple of years.

And on one visit I suggested she play with a guy who wasn't her regular type and they've been together for years and are getting married.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
50 weeks ago

Coventry

Absolutely nerve-wracking. But the best way to do a thing is to do it and I really wanted to experience it. Just to add social situations are not easy for me, especially in unfamiliar places. However I did my research in the morning and was on the train by the afternoon.

It's was (and to some extent when visiting alone still is) hard work. However I was my normal freindly, smiley, respectful self. I realise people won't come to me so I had to make the efforts. So were appropriate (reading the room) I introduced myself to people I was intrested in. Not necessarily always sexually, just socially to find my feet (plus my sexual intrest tends to develop on social interaction). People were generally freindly and pleasant. Not always though. The club in question was generally single male heavy. Some are jaded and you can sense a hostility as soon as you go over. One group of ladies was incredibly rude to me and basically told me to fuck off before I'd even interacted with them (there was nothing to suggest it was an inappropriate time in a social area). If I'm honest I think it was an unlucky run in with a bad group. I/we have encountered such groups of ladies on the rare occasion in the club scene. But on the whole met some lovely people and made to feel welcome. Naturally you can't be everones cup of tea. Bumped into a lady I'd talked to off the forums. We ended up having a great time and it was a great success. I never looked back after that. So glad I went. It's not easy but rewarding and you meet some great people. Also selecting the right club and night/party can make all the difference.

Mr

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
50 weeks ago

halifax


"Was absolutely amazing. Had such a lovely time using the facilities and chatting to people that I kept going back.

Made a friend my first time in a club and we made a regular thing of going on a Friday night for a couple of years.

And on one visit I suggested she play with a guy who wasn't her regular type and they've been together for years and are getting married.

"

well that’s a bit of a fairy tale ending. Thanks.

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
50 weeks ago

halifax


"Absolutely nerve-wracking. But the best way to do a thing is to do it and I really wanted to experience it. Just to add social situations are not easy for me, especially in unfamiliar places. However I did my research in the morning and was on the train by the afternoon.

It's was (and to some extent when visiting alone still is) hard work. However I was my normal freindly, smiley, respectful self. I realise people won't come to me so I had to make the efforts. So were appropriate (reading the room) I introduced myself to people I was intrested in. Not necessarily always sexually, just socially to find my feet (plus my sexual intrest tends to develop on social interaction). People were generally freindly and pleasant. Not always though. The club in question was generally single male heavy. Some are jaded and you can sense a hostility as soon as you go over. One group of ladies was incredibly rude to me and basically told me to fuck off before I'd even interacted with them (there was nothing to suggest it was an inappropriate time in a social area). If I'm honest I think it was an unlucky run in with a bad group. I/we have encountered such groups of ladies on the rare occasion in the club scene. But on the whole met some lovely people and made to feel welcome. Naturally you can't be everones cup of tea. Bumped into a lady I'd talked to off the forums. We ended up having a great time and it was a great success. I never looked back after that. So glad I went. It's not easy but rewarding and you meet some great people. Also selecting the right club and night/party can make all the difference.

Mr"

Thank you for such a detailed response

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By *urfDazeMan
50 weeks ago

Caernarfon

Genuinely not as scary as you think it might be. My first time solo was at Townhouse and although I'd been there previously as a couple I was really nervous going on my own. It was not worth the anxiety. I think as long as you don't come across as predatory or weird, most people are open to a chat and you can explain it's your first time and that you feel a bit awkward. That's a good way to relax into a conversation because everyone has had 'first time in a swingers club awkwardness'. Go for it and just pretend it's a normal bar with a friendly clientele.

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
49 weeks ago

halifax


"Genuinely not as scary as you think it might be. My first time solo was at Townhouse and although I'd been there previously as a couple I was really nervous going on my own. It was not worth the anxiety. I think as long as you don't come across as predatory or weird, most people are open to a chat and you can explain it's your first time and that you feel a bit awkward. That's a good way to relax into a conversation because everyone has had 'first time in a swingers club awkwardness'. Go for it and just pretend it's a normal bar with a friendly clientele."
thanks Surf. Solid advice

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By *ac995Man
49 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"Hi all. I’m trying to get the nerve to attend a club. As a single guy I’m extremely nervous about attending by myself.

Could any single tell me about their first time at a club "

Physical: Be presentable

Shower

Wear something nice

Maybe a little aftershave

Headspace: Don’t have expectations for playing

Social over play it all leads up to it!

Do not be one of the wanking dead that goes around it ruins the vibe!

Just be social and enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

What others have said. Rule 1: don’t be a dickhead.

Go with an open mind and no specific expectations. Be yourself. Worst case, you get to spend some time in a relaxed yet sexually charged environment. Best case … who knows?

My first time was daytime at the old Kestrels. So nervous my hands were shaking as I signed in. But relaxed into it as soon as I was naked and in the pool.

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
49 weeks ago

halifax


"Hi all. I’m trying to get the nerve to attend a club. As a single guy I’m extremely nervous about attending by myself.

Could any single tell me about their first time at a club

Physical: Be presentable

Shower

Wear something nice

Maybe a little aftershave

Headspace: Don’t have expectations for playing

Social over play it all leads up to it!

Do not be one of the wanking dead that goes around it ruins the vibe!

Just be social and enjoy!

"

sound advice. The first 4 should be regulation! Thanks

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
49 weeks ago

halifax


"What others have said. Rule 1: don’t be a dickhead.

Go with an open mind and no specific expectations. Be yourself. Worst case, you get to spend some time in a relaxed yet sexually charged environment. Best case … who knows?

My first time was daytime at the old Kestrels. So nervous my hands were shaking as I signed in. But relaxed into it as soon as I was naked and in the pool."

Thank you for your comment

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By *ecky and justCouple
49 weeks ago

Godalming

Used to go regularly before I met Becky.

Not so daunting, just be approachable.

Read the room

Know when to back off and don’t expect that because someone says hello to you they’re going to have sex with you.

Don’t stare.

Don’t follow.

Just behave as you would in any other social environment.

Be polite.

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By *untimeswithme69Man
49 weeks ago

London

Nerves are normal, just push yourself and once you've gone once it'll be easier to go the next time and so on.

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By *iMale4Couplexx OP   Man
49 weeks ago

halifax


"Used to go regularly before I met Becky.

Not so daunting, just be approachable.

Read the room

Know when to back off and don’t expect that because someone says hello to you they’re going to have sex with you.

Don’t stare.

Don’t follow.

Just behave as you would in any other social environment.

Be polite.

"

Thanks for the solid advice

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