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Going alone

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm a single woman and I really want to go to a club. I'm lucky as I'm based in west Mids do two great clubs to choose from, but I'm so nervous. Does anyone have any tips? I'm not new to clubs, but only ever been as part of a couple & not for a few years.

Think my biggest worry is I'll be sat in the corner like a Billy no mates

I'd appreciate any advice or tips.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm 99% certain you will NOT be sitting in a corner like Billy No Mates!

Choose the right night for you - if you're looking for single men, then go on a night when single men are welcome. If you're only looking to play with couples, then go on a 'couples only' night.

Which ever night you choose, just smile and chat to people! My rule (for myself) is to circulate for the first hour, talking to people for a maximum of 15 minutes. I usually approach the people who look lonely, nervous or lost. I just walk up to them, introduce myself, and say "I don't recall seeing you here before, are you new?"

Usually people are delighted that you made the first move, and happily chat. After 15 mins, I usually move on, with the words "I'd better let you mingle", and then I go on to chat with someone else. If I hope to play with that person, I say "I'd better let you mingle but hope to see you again later", and they usually find ME, if they want to play.

So my tip is: take the initiative, keep it to a max of 15 mins, leave the convo having signalled (or not) your wish to take it further.

Then take your kit off, get in the pool, and get ready to verbally slap anyone you don't fancy LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/03/13 18:15:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If its a couples only night she cant go lol"

Single girls are usually welcome on a couples only night - the assumption being that they are bisexual single girls (who couples frequently want to meet).

But I'm straight, and went to my first club on a 'couples only' night, simply because I felt confident that I wouldn't come under any pressure to play, and I felt it was the easiest way to 'find my feet' in swinging.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice. I'm pretty personable but can be a little shy at 1st (yes I know a shy swinger!) I'll do a little more research regards nights as I am straight and would like to attend on a night with single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're thinking of going to a club when you're in the West Midlands, then I think that Chameleons is a great option. I've never been myself (I go to La Chambre in Sheffield, because it's nearer).

However, I've heard great things about Chameleons. Apparently, single guys have to look like Brad Pitt, to be allowed into Chameleons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly go on my own and have never had a problem(yet!) having said that i work in retail so i am used to meeting new people all the time though obviously not for sex!! but it does help me tremendoulsy.If i can do it as a sinlge male amongst lots of others then you should have no problem.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"

However, I've heard great things about Chameleons. Apparently, single guys have to look like Brad Pitt, to be allowed into Chameleons "

If only!

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By *otswoldMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Happy to take you to Chameleons but, for reasons stated in my profile, it can't be until the first week-end of next month.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Once you've been once on your own it will be much easier to do it again. You'll love it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For my first trip to a club, I went as part of an organised social event.

Prior to attending the event, I would PM a few regulars on the forums whom I knew would be attending the event, and exchanged pics beforehand.

This way, I already knew a few peeps before I stepped into the club, and the rest is history.

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By *asperthedogCouple
over a year ago

midlands


" Apparently, single guys have to look like Brad Pitt, to be allowed into Chameleons "

you're right, you ain't been lol,

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"I'm 99% certain you will NOT be sitting in a corner like Billy No Mates!

Choose the right night for you - if you're looking for single men, then go on a night when single men are welcome. If you're only looking to play with couples, then go on a 'couples only' night.

Which ever night you choose, just smile and chat to people! My rule (for myself) is to circulate for the first hour, talking to people for a maximum of 15 minutes. I usually approach the people who look lonely, nervous or lost. I just walk up to them, introduce myself, and say "I don't recall seeing you here before, are you new?"

Usually people are delighted that you made the first move, and happily chat. After 15 mins, I usually move on, with the words "I'd better let you mingle", and then I go on to chat with someone else. If I hope to play with that person, I say "I'd better let you mingle but hope to see you again later", and they usually find ME, if they want to play.

So my tip is: take the initiative, keep it to a max of 15 mins, leave the convo having signalled (or not) your wish to take it further.

Then take your kit off, get in the pool, and get ready to verbally slap anyone you don't fancy LOL "

Great advice!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the great advice, I'll bite the bullet & give it a try, what's the worse that can happen right xx

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

cant see u being left alone u look lovely im sure u will have a great time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"cant see u being left alone u look lovely im sure u will have a great time "

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That brings up something I've been wondering- how to you politely tell a persitent someone 'no, but thanks'?

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"cant see u being left alone u look lovely im sure u will have a great time "

Exactly like that and if they persist, speak to management, they will sort it for you.

Another suggestion for you louise. Decide on the night and search the Meets to see if anyone else is going and as the OP suggested, contact them so when you get there you won't feel alone xxx

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Sorry, comment meant to answer typhoofighter and original question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you Frenchbambi. Lovely pic. :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That brings up something I've been wondering- how to you politely tell a persitent someone 'no, but thanks'? "

The magic words (said with a smile) are "thanks, but no thanks".

Don't EVER feel the need to play with someone you don't find attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That brings up something I've been wondering- how to you politely tell a persitent someone 'no, but thanks'?

The magic words (said with a smile) are "thanks, but no thanks".

Don't EVER feel the need to play with someone you don't find attractive "

Thank you :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all the great advice, I'll bite the bullet & give it a try, what's the worse that can happen right xx"

What's the worse that can happen at a swingers club?

You turn up, chat in the bar/lounge. Move to the pool/sauna and chat some more. Take a walk around the open play rooms, and chat some more (quietly).

If you don't meet anyone who you want to play with, at least you've made a dozen new 'social' friends! And those friends each know a dozen others.... and they know others..... you get the picture.

Have a great night xxxx

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"Thank you Frenchbambi. Lovely pic. :P "

Merci . Shame you are so far away, you're my kind of girl

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Don't worry . You'll soon be wilma plenty mates . Use your common sense and find the guy you want who shows you some respect . Good luck . Good hunting . I'm fairly sure you'll find someone to accompany you anyway

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn


"That brings up something I've been wondering- how to you politely tell a persitent someone 'no, but thanks'? "

I had this recently. I actually altered my profile because if the person just while they got the message. X

Good luck with itv but in my experience ne being too polite didnt help x

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By *ikecarolCouple
over a year ago

North Shropshire

We were SO nervous going to our first club. Ended up going to 2 in a week. Rules for single guys are strict. Carol was very nervous etc but we had a great time. Deep breath and enjoy what you want to enjoy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you Frenchbambi. Lovely pic. :P

Merci . Shame you are so far away, you're my kind of girl "

'Tis rather a shame isn't it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well I bit the bullet and went to Chams today and loved it, met some great people and had a great relaxed time, can't wait for my next time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well done! Now you can become an advocate for "it IS ok for girls to go to swinging clubs on their own".

I hope you have many more happy times x

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