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Coffee and Cream night at xotix. 12Th April

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Xotix are going to hold a Coffee & Cream With Derby Dark Knights, for BBCs & BBC lovers on Friday 12th April

non members will need to be on the guest list so contact shaggy6969 to be added get your name down early to avoid dissapointed as we are expecting a big turn out for this event

Entrance is £15cpls £20 single guy £5 single fems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So whose coming to have a great night with some great people... I know I should be hoping to be there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good job I've just sorted my membership out

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By *he Dark Knights GaloreCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Derby

We are looking forward to meeting all you lovley ladies (greedy girls) and cpls at Xotix. The DDKs XXXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopefully I will be there

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It's looking good so far. Had lots of interest.

Should be a good night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are looking forward to meeting all you lovley ladies (greedy girls) and cpls at Xotix. The DDKs XXXXX"

Looking forward to it and I know a few more who are too x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup sorted it with Sid, bring it on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I keep having to redirect people. It's easier if people just contact the club direct. Lol

I will of course pass on names if people message me

Always room for more.

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By *he Dark Knights GaloreCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Derby

Bump

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bump "

You will be getting plenty of bumps. Lol

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By *ane_DaveCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

We have been looking to visit this club for awhile now and this night sounds ideal.

Hopefully lots of black guys playing x

Jane x

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

If I didn't have my Mum in the car on my drive back from Ludlow I would so be up for this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See the only problem with this is the use of the phrase "Coffee & Cream" in advertising this interracial party.

Considering I have been organising inter-racial parties under the "Coffee & Cream" brand for years at various venues all over the country, I was quite surprised (and to be honest, put out) that someone took the decision to "jump on" a known party brand without first speaking to the person who uses the brand exclusively.

Instead I was met with a supposed education and claims of "ALL inter-racial parties being Coffee & Cream" which is clearly not the case as swinging party research on any swinging site (yes, especially FabSwingers) in the past shows.

For the record, there are several inter-racial parties going, each organiser using their own individual brand which brings something different in identity. Examples being in no certain order):

Black Man Fan Club (BMFC)

Coffee-n-Cream

Black By Nature

Dark Knights (not to be confused with DerbyDarkKnights)

Black 4 White

Black Guys 4 Fems

Eyes Wide Shut

Lust 4 Black

Just to name a few: none of thee party brands have ever claimed "All inter-racial parties are called (insert name here).

Most venues that have put on an inter-racial party without a brand name have simply called it an inter-racial party or inter-racial night and have NEVER assumed it is automatically known as "Coffee & Cream". That would be a rookie mistake.

Now don't get me wrong, I love a good party, and support as many other parties as I can (yes, including inter-racial parties) but ultimately, most party organisers appreciate the value in respective brands, both theirs as well as having respect for other existing brands.

So my advice to anyone looking to run an inter-racial party? Come up with your own unique brand: it gives identity, uniqueness and becomes memorable... not usurping an existing brand in hope whatever fame comes with its reputation, by extension, rubs off on yours.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I really dont think any malice was meant.

Its like Greedy girls nights... put that and people know what it is called.

Those of us trying to get members to come along to the clubs on certain nights, just use the names given to us by the club.

So any issues take it up with the clubs.

I actually do not really see that there is a big deal here.. but as I will only be attending socially it is no issue to me at all.

It is the clubs first night such as this.. and I am sure what ever name a club uses for a night, someone could have used it before.

No one is trying to say it is organised by anyone.. and as I said.. please take it up with the club direct.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I guess its a case of proving whether someone has the right to that name. Copyright/patent laws would favour anyone who could prove that, when the phrase is used, people assume that it is arranged by that group, and that by not using that group to arrange the party people are being intentionally misled. As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here."
this was my thinking.. but as I said.. if someone thinks its their right, then contact the club...

and dont shoot the messenger..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess its a case of proving whether someone has the right to that name. Copyright/patent laws would favour anyone who could prove that, when the phrase is used, people assume that it is arranged by that group, and that by not using that group to arrange the party people are being intentionally misled. As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here."

Yes, "Coffee & Cream" interracial parties have been talked about or years... usually off the back of the parties I have been organising for years. Was the intention to make it as big and popular as possible? I will admit that. Was it aimed so that "inter-racial parties" are known definitively as "Coffee & Cream"? Ofcourse not - that would be an erroneous an arrogant assumption all other inter-racial parties (such as those listed above) either don't know what they're are talking about or are not inter-racial parties by not being called "Coffee & Cream".

In short, nothing but a massive disrespect. What I find more surprising is the club are trying to justify it by attempting to educate me, suggesting to know more about inter-racial parties than I do. Somehow, I doubt that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here.this was my thinking.. but as I said.. if someone thinks its their right, then contact the club...

and dont shoot the messenger..

"

Not shooting the messenger, not the intent - I just think leaving out the words "Coffee & Cream" would have no less detrimental effect if the effort in organising is there. But by leaving the words in, it makes the hopeful assumption people who have attended mine for years will attend this one thinking I am the one organising with the promise it will be as good. And if for some reason it is not, and I want to throw mine, and people chose not to attend because they felt it was not comparable to mine, then what? I'd rather protect my interest. Something other party organisers understand without explanation.

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just sad people think "its okay, we will do as we please".

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not sure where anyone has said that they are trying to educate you.

I have seen many many parties advertised as coffee and cream, private house parties and club ones.. yet till I received a message I was not aware there was anyone using the official name..

Mostly as while I have many friends that go, I dont attend the parties to play myself. May go socially but not to play.

I am just the messenger.. and as I have said.. take it up with the club if there is an issue.. as I am just doing as has been asked.. as are the other few members that are advertising this event for the club on here and other sites.

I am sure they are as unaware of the the implications as I was..

but as I said.. clubs across the country use bbw nights, greedy girls nights.. to me this is just the same context.

Cali

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


" As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here.this was my thinking.. but as I said.. if someone thinks its their right, then contact the club...

and dont shoot the messenger..

Not shooting the messenger, not the intent - I just think leaving out the words "Coffee & Cream" would have no less detrimental effect if the effort in organising is there. But by leaving the words in, it makes the hopeful assumption people who have attended mine for years will attend this one thinking I am the one organising with the promise it will be as good. And if for some reason it is not, and I want to throw mine, and people chose not to attend because they felt it was not comparable to mine, then what? I'd rather protect my interest. Something other party organisers understand without explanation.

I'm not having a go at you, I'm just sad people think "its okay, we will do as we please"."

Officially, unless the name 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial sex parties has been registered as a Trademark there really isn't that much you can do. Unofficially I suspect that there won't be a problem caused by the party goers thinking its been arranged by you. I have been on the 'scene' for 15 years and honestly didn't know there was an organiser with that particular name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to come too but this thread seems to be getting side tracked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess its a case of proving whether someone has the right to that name. Copyright/patent laws would favour anyone who could prove that, when the phrase is used, people assume that it is arranged by that group, and that by not using that group to arrange the party people are being intentionally misled. As I have been hearing the phrase 'Coffee and Cream' to describe inter-racial parties by just about everyone for as long as I have been swinging I doubt very much there is an intellectual property right issue here.

Yes, "Coffee & Cream" interracial parties have been talked about or years... usually off the back of the parties I have been organising for years. Was the intention to make it as big and popular as possible? I will admit that. Was it aimed so that "inter-racial parties" are known definitively as "Coffee & Cream"? Ofcourse not - that would be an erroneous an arrogant assumption all other inter-racial parties (such as those listed above) either don't know what they're are talking about or are not inter-racial parties by not being called "Coffee & Cream".

In short, nothing but a massive disrespect. What I find more surprising is the club are trying to justify it by attempting to educate me, suggesting to know more about inter-racial parties than I do. Somehow, I doubt that."

oh heaven forbid no one knows more about coffee and cream than you !!!! Does this mean a genuine cream guy can't attend his local club on this special event ? Or I shall I think of a different name for the BBW nights that's advertised at every club all over the country !!! Lee x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I want to come too but this thread seems to be getting side tracked "

seems to be order of the weekend things going off track

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm afraid people are still getting terminologies confused, easy to do.

"Inter-racial" is a type of party.

"Coffee & Cream" is the NAME of a type of party.

"BBW" is a type of party.

"Big Girls Paradise" is the NAME of a type of party.

See the difference?

(Mental picture of "Meerkat" and "Market" tele advert)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

as I said. take it up with the clubs.. as to me its just a name of a party..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you're being a tad pedantic C'n'C, and being over precious about the arrangements you make. Name or description, it doesn't matter. And unless you really do have copyright over the title, I can't see how you have a right to complain or suggest anyone is being disrespectful.

I have every right to organise such an evening in my own home and call it the same thing, if I decide to. And not one person would even think about it being related to you, because like me, they've probably never heard of you and your parties. But I would certainly think twice about attending one of yours, should the opportunity arise, now that I've seen how petty you can be about something so trivial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm afraid people are still getting terminologies confused, easy to do.

"Inter-racial" is a type of party.

"Coffee & Cream" is the NAME of a type of party.

"BBW" is a type of party.

"Big Girls Paradise" is the NAME of a type of party.

See the difference?

(Mental picture of "Meerkat" and "Market" tele advert)"

Yawn...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you're being a tad pedantic C'n'C, and being over precious about the arrangements you make. Name or description, it doesn't matter. And unless you really do have copyright over the title, I can't see how you have a right to complain or suggest anyone is being disrespectful.

I have every right to organise such an evening in my own home and call it the same thing, if I decide to. And not one person would even think about it being related to you, because like me, they've probably never heard of you and your parties. But I would certainly think twice about attending one of yours, should the opportunity arise, now that I've seen how petty you can be about something so trivial."

Its funny you say not one person would think its related to the events I've organised, but that's a guess and sadly an incorrect one as I have infact had enquiries, hence how it came to my attention.

For me its also about accountability - would you want to be linked to something you had nothing to do with (for positive or negative reasons)? I don't think so. But alas, it has happened in the past and I'd rather it did not repeat.

As for your comments on my being "petty" - that's just mud and being nasty, but don't worry, it will wash. However whatever parties people choose to attend (or not) has always been and always be a matter of choice: I've never begged and don't think I will start anytime soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can I actually point out that the word and not n has been used by xotix. Actually making it not trying to imitate anything.

It may only be two little letters extra. But it would make a difference. I think people have now got the idea that it's not a party recognised by the user mentioned in here. It's an interracial party being held by the club at request of a few members for a fun night out for those that love this sort of play.

I won't be playing that night but I will certainly be there to meet new people and show any newbies around along with some lovely other regular members.

Back on topic. If you want to be on the guest list then please contact the staff at the club.

Cali

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Can I actually point out that the word and not n has been used by xotix. Actually making it not trying to imitate anything.

"

Would that mean one party called "Black Mans Fan Club" (as an example) is different from "Black Men's Fan Club"?

Still sounds like riding on another well known interracial party name to me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I actually point out that the word and not n has been used by xotix. Actually making it not trying to imitate anything.

Would that mean one party called "Black Mans Fan Club" (as an example) is different from "Black Men's Fan Club"?

Still sounds like riding on another well known interracial party name to me."

So well known that no one seems to have heard of it. I know as I spent some time looking today. Found that many clubs use it.

But take it up with club. It's actually a registered name for a shop in Birmingham.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So well known that no one seems to have heard of it. I know as I spent some time looking today. Found that many clubs use it."

Define "No one"? Survey of how many people from what group? The funny thing is the club have in fact been in touch and (finally) been told of at least one club that the parties used to be held at.

Part of the problem seems to be some people (on this thread at least) have little information and that has been extrapulated to supposedly 100% fact, which sadly is incorrect.

But I am in contact with the club as we speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like this forum has got slightly sidetracked !!...but all we can add is that we met up with the derbydarknights last night for a private gangbang and trust me ladies you are in for a treat ...great respectful VWE BBC'S ...MMMMMM!! I enjoyed a lot x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems like this forum has got slightly sidetracked !!...but all we can add is that we met up with the derbydarknights last night for a private gangbang and trust me ladies you are in for a treat ...great respectful VWE BBC'S ...MMMMMM!! I enjoyed a lot x"

Thanks. It's getting ever closer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhh relatively close to me, think I might come and dip my toes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ohhh relatively close to me, think I might come and dip my toes "

It's shaping up to be a good night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Getting closer ladies and gentlemen.

If your not already on the guest list then why not.

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By *aradiseClub50Woman
over a year ago

Loughborough zouch


"I think you're being a tad pedantic C'n'C, and being over precious about the arrangements you make. Name or description, it doesn't matter. And unless you really do have copyright over the title, I can't see how you have a right to complain or suggest anyone is being disrespectful.

I have every right to organise such an evening in my own home and call it the same thing, if I decide to. And not one person would even think about it being related to you, because like me, they've probably never heard of you and your parties. But I would certainly think twice about attending one of yours, should the opportunity arise, now that I've seen how petty you can be about something so trivial."

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By *aradiseClub50Woman
over a year ago

Loughborough zouch

if its not copy write etc then nothing you can do like above say same with bbw greedy girls fetish etc the club is not the first and wont be the last to host a coffee and cream night and personaly as like cali I am a promoter of another club and if we did an inter racial night then it would also be called coffee and cream

it seems it has gone very petty let the club advertise with whatever name they want I think you just worried they might make a better job and the people who manage and own the club are "inter racial" people so im sure they know what they are doing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm many of us, that have been on the scene a fair few years, and used to enjoy the coffee and creams parties at chams and other venues. May find this a little out of order.

Partners do not feel the need to call their parties 'coffee n cream', nor do other clubs.

I think continuing this thread is in poor taste and it is a little disrespectful. The clubs own website is NOT advertising this night as a coffee and cream night!!

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By *eavensent78Couple
over a year ago

west mids

I'm sure there is a swinging lawyer on here that can put this all to bed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For those that are interested in coming along then do. If not then don't. But anyway it's shaping up to be an amazing evening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking forward to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Erm many of us, that have been on the scene a fair few years, and used to enjoy the coffee and creams parties at chams and other venues. May find this a little out of order.

Partners do not feel the need to call their parties 'coffee n cream', nor do other clubs.

I think continuing this thread is in poor taste and it is a little disrespectful. The clubs own website is NOT advertising this night as a coffee and cream night!!

"

That's an interesting point, as I was the one that organised the ones at Chams (sometihng for some reason I'm being told I have no right to lay claim to, and more insulting beig told they know nothing about me however failing to do their homework and check who organised the parties).

What I do find strange is they "sought the permission of a website" which was setup in hours but with zero content. I don't see how anything in poor taste is down to me.

And regarding the comment or being worried someone lse might do a better job than me - I'd like to know where that thinking cmes from as the person knows nothign about me, yet also failed to read the bit that I actively support other interracial parties/socials (and other parties as well) as I feel the swinging community is big enough for multiple parties of all types.

I have always stated if you're going to have a party, give it its own unique identity, not someone else's - its not fair to ride on coat tails of an established brand. If anything, T?aT is in poor taste.

But as far as parties in general go, cleary the organisers have decided they will do what they want and not give a damn about what anyone else thinks or who's toes they step on (while claiming its not intentional).

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It was a great night, and sure will be repeated.

Thanks to everyone that came along and made it such a good night.

I for one am here for the fun, and the social, not the politics. The club asked for this to be advertised, so I have done.

As I said, issues should be taken up with the club.

Already being asked when next one is

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Don't get me wrong - am glad everyone had a good night. My point was the hope there would be no confusion.

As a point of disclusure: the original coffee & cream parties have also been asked for, including multiple venues. These venues I am in dicussions with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a petty argument this is.

I use the phrase coffee n cream at least 3 times a day at my local coffee house, oops best ask for permission before saying it again.

The term coffee n cream has been used in the swinging scene for donkeys years long before xotix or c n c used it, it is not copyrighted or patent to c n c, it is however registered to a business in Birmingham, so technically neither parties should be using the term.

One important point to make though, swinging is all about sharing isn't it, can't words be shared too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes I noticed that the name actually belongs to a cafe.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 15/04/13 21:56:15]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

[Removed by poster at 15/04/13 21:56:31]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"What a petty argument this is.

I use the phrase coffee n cream at least 3 times a day at my local coffee house, oops best ask for permission before saying it again.

The term coffee n cream has been used in the swinging scene for donkeys years long before xotix or c n c used it, it is not copyrighted or patent to c n c, it is however registered to a business in Birmingham, so technically neither parties should be using the term.

One important point to make though, swinging is all about sharing isn't it, can't words be shared too "

To which I say, to everyone that thinks "words can be shared" lets see the first person to try to hold a party called anything "BMFC" or "Black Mans Fan Club".

Please tell us how you get on

Strangely enough, lots of people admitting they have heard of the "coffee & cream" parties for years.. but no one seems to be admitting where they have been hearing of them. I wonder why."

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Yes I noticed that the name actually belongs to a cafe."

Hang on by all this argument of "it belong to a cafe" am sure those cafe's cant use the name as it belongs to a drink. See how "pointless" that point is?

Isn't it trying to "explain away" the swinging aspect of it?

The sad fact of the matter is a lot of people have gotten bad/ill/misinformation, are failing to research to see what the correct information is, and are sadly too happy to stand by their incorrect information for fear of being proven wrong.

Coffee & Cream is not THE name of interracial parties - it is the name of ONE of the many interracial parties. Everyone that runs interracial parties identify theirs by different brand names and the ones with credibility and respect for other parties organisers and venues certainly do not try to "accidentally" use someone else's brand identity its a respect thing, anything else is sadly a lack of that respect. Defending it is even worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can tell you why, I've heard from them word of mouth, chat Roos, Internet, house parties, no one ever mentioned organiser. Also know a chap who has been swinging some twenty plus years and one first events he went to was a coffee and cream doubt, doubt very much either hosts that commented in this thread organised that, so technically going on their argument that xotix copied them, they did same copied elsewhere, to point where coffee and cream is a registered business to a cafe.

So yes I personally find it a very petty argument,and think people are spitting dummy out over nothing, there's bigger things in life to worry about than the name of some party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes I noticed that the name actually belongs to a cafe.

Hang on by all this argument of "it belong to a cafe" am sure those cafe's cant use the name as it belongs to a drink. See how "pointless" that point is?

Isn't it trying to "explain away" the swinging aspect of it?

The sad fact of the matter is a lot of people have gotten bad/ill/misinformation, are failing to research to see what the correct information is, and are sadly too happy to stand by their incorrect information for fear of being proven wrong.

Coffee & Cream is not THE name of interracial parties - it is the name of ONE of the many interracial parties. Everyone that runs interracial parties identify theirs by different brand names and the ones with credibility and respect for other parties organisers and venues certainly do not try to "accidentally" use someone else's brand identity its a respect thing, anything else is sadly a lack of that respect. Defending it is even worse."

And xotix being blamed when actually from what I understand DDK organised this night and used club as a venue.

Jeez people really need to get a grip, people are starving in the world, people are homeless and all anyone cares about is name of a party and who should get credit for it

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Yes I noticed that the name actually belongs to a cafe.

Hang on by all this argument of "it belong to a cafe" am sure those cafe's cant use the name as it belongs to a drink. See how "pointless" that point is?

Isn't it trying to "explain away" the swinging aspect of it?

The sad fact of the matter is a lot of people have gotten bad/ill/misinformation, are failing to research to see what the correct information is, and are sadly too happy to stand by their incorrect information for fear of being proven wrong.

Coffee & Cream is not THE name of interracial parties - it is the name of ONE of the many interracial parties. Everyone that runs interracial parties identify theirs by different brand names and the ones with credibility and respect for other parties organisers and venues certainly do not try to "accidentally" use someone else's brand identity its a respect thing, anything else is sadly a lack of that respect. Defending it is even worse.

And xotix being blamed when actually from what I understand DDK organised this night and used club as a venue.

Jeez people really need to get a grip, people are starving in the world, people are homeless and all anyone cares about is name of a party and who should get credit for it"

Yes, people are starving in the world, wars, rapes and crimes against humanity .. but worrying over who is being petty on a swing site somehow is such importance?

Whatever happened to credit where credit is due? Whatever happened to principle?

Oh I forgot - this is a swing site, such concepts are irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xotix were more than happy to take in the venue from the night, and had it on their website as a cnc.

The whole thing was a farce, they took it off their website before the event, why do that if they are comfortable with the situation? And why has no one from the club itself actually come forward??

Good luck to xx, if they have a good enough base of regulars and do not feel they want to attract others, then that's their decision. They alone will actually know which people said they would attend and then did not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From what I read and understood from the thread someone from the club was in contact with CNC and I would imagine, although cant be quoted as wasn't party to the conversation, that club renamed the event after CNC raised their concerns.

As for credit where credit is due, I'm sure CNC have had plenty of credit for the parties they have hosted, I have never been to one so can't give credit myself, equally I didn't go to the event at xotix either so cannot give that event credit either.

Surely the aim of these parties or any type swinging party is for people to have fun, not see how many pat on the backs we can get for having this party.

And it doesn't change fact that coffee and cream has been registered trademarked already so technically no one should be using the term, but like I say does it really matter as long as all have fun

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"From what I read and understood from the thread someone from the club was in contact with CNC and I would imagine, although cant be quoted as wasn't party to the conversation, that club renamed the event after CNC raised their concerns.

As for credit where credit is due, I'm sure CNC have had plenty of credit for the parties they have hosted, I have never been to one so can't give credit myself, equally I didn't go to the event at xotix either so cannot give that event credit either.

Surely the aim of these parties or any type swinging party is for people to have fun, not see how many pat on the backs we can get for having this party.

And it doesn't change fact that coffee and cream has been registered trademarked already so technically no one should be using the term, but like I say does it really matter as long as all have fun "

Without mentioning any of the details of the conversation, the club basically got a few key and fundamental facts wrong yet when pointed out (with facts) they refused to check up on these - disappointing.

Yes, the whole point of any parties and swinging as a whole is fun and sharing. However as with any and every scenario there is an etiquette. One that was (despite of accidental) ignored and if anything, the decision to ignore justified.

This I strongly believe is wrong.

Like I said before, I am a big supporter of parties and party organisers - and an even bigger supporter of anyone (individual, group or venue) that creates their own party identity. There is surely a lot of imagination in the world, why jump on someone else's AFTER admitting knowledge of said identity?

As far as concerned, I will continue to run Coffee & Cream parties as of when I can. Those who do not want to attend are not forced to, we are all adults. Those that wish to attend, new and regular faces that have attended over the several years, always welcome and good to catch up.

And anyone that thinks am in the wrong for standing up for what I believe (especially when I present proof), its called having conviction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one said you were wrong to stand up for your beliefs, buts its also not wrong if someone disagrees either.

To me no one is right or wrong as the name does belong to a business, not swinging clubs or party hosts.

In terms of originality and imagination I agree fully, but originality and imagination hasn't been used with the coffee and cream thread, as mentioned earlier its a saying that's been around many a year

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

To be fair there are only so many names to call parties so people understand what sort of nights they are.

Like every club holds bbw nights, no one screams about let's be original as simply it works. Same with greedy girls nights, although the odd place uses other names.

I think what people are arguing is whether the club could use that name. Although to be fair not many people realised what it meant. But they could, as do many other places because unlike the bmfc, it's not a registered party name. So therefore anyone can use it.

I was talking to my dad about it, he says there was coffee and cream parties near him years ago. We are talking a long time ago. So the name has been in use for a long time. And I view it the same as the use of greedy girl or bbw nights

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Actually, I have been told in several "gentle" ways ie "drop it" or "you're being petty to continue" or "its not just yours, its for every one".

For me to agree with any of these statements is effectively giving up on what I believe in, so sorry, but I disagree.

As for the reference to greedy girl or bbw parties, the fundamental point is still being missed so I'll explain again:

(Some) Types of parties:

Couples only

Singles only

Couples and select single guys

Couples and single girls

Bi/gay/tv/cd party

Bukake (sp) party

Bbw party

Greedy girl party

Bareback party

PVC party

Doctors and Nurses Costume/theme party

... and ofcourse Interracial party.

(Some) Names of parties:

Killing Kittens (a type of couples, single girls and select single guys party).

Body Beautifuls (a type of couples only party),

Big Girls Paradise (a type of BBW party)

Hungry For Cock (a type of greedy girls party),

Lust 4 black (a type of interracial party).

All the above are past/existing party names. To suggest "there are only few names for parties" leans more to lack of imagination, something I feel is massively untrue, or someone just isn't trying.

Its also suggesting there are only so many names you can give to groups - there's the Dark Knights (a group of guys that have been together on the swing scene longer than I have been swinging).. then there's Derby Dark Knights (someone that could not come up with a unique name as there was a lack of names available on the "random group name generator"? I can only guess).

Speaking of being on the swing scene for along time, it keeps coming up that "coffee & Cream as an interracial party has been going on for years", yet no one has worked out the connection that I was the one running them - and when I am forced to provide one proof of the other, it is either ignored, or I am accused of "getting my friends in on the act as my back up".

Do you not see how insulting in itself the whole picture is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you organised the coffee and cream party 20+ years ago, judging by your age I think not, just because to have organised some with coffee and cream name, doesn't mean it hasn't been done before, thus also making, by your theory, the name in imaginative on your part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I actually point out that the word and not n has been used by xotix. Actually making it not trying to imitate anything.

Would that mean one party called "Black Mans Fan Club" (as an example) is different from "Black Men's Fan Club"?

Still sounds like riding on another well known interracial party name to me."

Is your username not one letter difference from a well known club ! Abfabs

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Can I actually point out that the word and not n has been used by xotix. Actually making it not trying to imitate anything.

Would that mean one party called "Black Mans Fan Club" (as an example) is different from "Black Men's Fan Club"?

Still sounds like riding on another well known interracial party name to me.

Is your username not one letter difference from a well known club ! Abfabs"

Hang on... so you're suggesting I'm in some twisted way trying to link myself by username "Ahabs" to the club "AbFabs"? That... is seriously reaching its untrue! Sadly, I'll have to tell you why.

When I started swinging, Fabs was not the first site I joined. When the lady that introduced me to swinging said I'd needed a unique username, I joked I was not the biggest bloke in the downstairs department to which she said "Like Captian Ahab who had half a leg bitten off?" - and that was it: I picked "Ahabs" as I wanted a twist on my pun of "half a 3rd leg" (minus the Captain).

It was only after a whole year of swinging I heard of the club "AbFabs" as it was known for promoting couples nights, but my party searches were for single guy nights. When I asked about the name I was told "Just like the tele show - Absolutely Fabulous".

So if you think in some way my "Half a 3rd leg like Captain Ahab" is somehow relatable to "Absolutely Fabulous" then sorry - you're on your own in that belief! lol.

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