FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Club Discussion

Wasting time in clubs..

Jump to newest
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's odd isn't it, been to a few clubs and found the environment strange.

If approached by a woman/couple I assumed it means they wanted to flirt and then maybe play. But after 10mins of what I thought was going well they just walked off to chat to someone else.

Almost need like a red card green card like casa Brazil lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

.

Whenever I've/we've to a been to a club it's been to socialize first, Usually its been with a group of friends and any playtime will be spontaneous if we meet the right people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

Not just you. Happens to us as well, both in clubs and in home parties. We wish we had a fireproof strategy to gauge interest from the other couple. Many couples are shy to decide if they want to play, no matter how chatty they are. Others are too polite to stop chatting even if they are clear that they do not want to play. Others are new so they are waiting for you to make the offer to play.

So far what seems to work for us since times is to raise early the conversation about what sort of dynamics they like, to gauge compatibility. If you think they are compatible, rather than asking them to play, give them a chance to think and talk to reach other and decide, say you are going to the jacuzzi or to check the cinema or the group play room, whatever seems suitable for the club you are, and ask them if they'd want to come along. If they do, they want to remain with you, if they don't or say "we may join you later", it's a chance for them to seek other couples and for you to make a gracious exit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and RCouple
over a year ago

lincoln


"Not just you. Happens to us as well, both in clubs and in home parties. We wish we had a fireproof strategy to gauge interest from the other couple. Many couples are shy to decide if they want to play, no matter how chatty they are. Others are too polite to stop chatting even if they are clear that they do not want to play. Others are new so they are waiting for you to make the offer to play.

So far what seems to work for us since times is to raise early the conversation about what sort of dynamics they like, to gauge compatibility. If you think they are compatible, rather than asking them to play, give them a chance to think and talk to reach other and decide, say you are going to the jacuzzi or to check the cinema or the group play room, whatever seems suitable for the club you are, and ask them if they'd want to come along. If they do, they want to remain with you, if they don't or say "we may join you later", it's a chance for them to seek other couples and for you to make a gracious exit."
Agree with this. We go with the intention of playing. Often had same issue and been guilty of missing cues. I think some method of communicating with your own partner that you are both interested for starters.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

The more you go to clubs the more experienced you'll get at sensing signals. We find it's a case of feeling a vibe, which might start with extended glances and smiles. Obviously it takes someone to say hello/pay a compliment, start a chat, then we generally get an inkling if play is on the cards. Ourselves we've found a few times after that play was on the cards but not realised until after. Personally we don't have to play with others to have a good night. We've played with others on two nights out of seven club visits this year, the other nights we've played with each other and still had a great night. Try a few more club nights, go for walks around the club, if you think you might be getting "the look" give "the look" back, you might end up in a playroom with them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

I've except on rare occasions I've gone for a gb... I've never once gone to a club for more than a social night out.

I actually advise people going to clubs to never go with any intentions of playing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We would go to clubs with the intention of socialising and then doing our own thing in the playrooms. We're a soft play / exhibitionist couple. We've had couples chat with us for half an hour or so about general chit chat before inviting us for a full swap. Some have got into a proper mard when we turned them down.

We now tend to be direct, early on, about what we're there for. We're happy to talk the back leg off a donkey all night if we're getting along great with someone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst


"... I think some method of communicating with your own partner that you are both interested for starters. "

Oh... that's a matter for another separate post entirely. From chats with other couples, we have learnt that some couples have a special sign (cross a leg, touch a pendant, turn the wristwatch upside down, play with their wedding ring), others play with the drink glass in a particular way. Some couples make a particular question (e.g. have you been to Xtasia?) that they have agreed they would never ask unless they want to communicate they want to play, etc. Many ways.

Won't share ours in public here, obviously ...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exySwitches203Couple
over a year ago

Felixstowe

We tend to go to clubs to catch up with old friends or meet new people but often we are talking to people before we get there.

When we do chat to new people though we do let them know what our dynamic is early on - soft swap only so that no love is lost and people know what we are looking for too!

We tend to find being direct about this is often successful and also makes the conversation alot more open from the start!

If the chat does carry on then all is good however we do have a way of letting each other know if its not for us and if that does happen then we apologise and move on however thats rarely happened!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"It's odd isn't it, been to a few clubs and found the environment strange.

If approached by a woman/couple I assumed it means they wanted to flirt and then maybe play. But after 10mins of what I thought was going well they just walked off to chat to someone else.

Almost need like a red card green card like casa Brazil lol"
I talk to pretty much everyone at a club. I play with a very low percentage of that. If I go on a party night I have absolutely no intention of playing.. just chatting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst


"We would go to clubs with the intention of socialising and then doing our own thing in the playrooms. We're a soft play / exhibitionist couple. We've had couples chat with us for half an hour or so about general chit chat before inviting us for a full swap. Some have got into a proper mard when we turned them down.

We now tend to be direct, early on, about what we're there for. We're happy to talk the back leg off a donkey all night if we're getting along great with someone. "

Absolutely, and you are totally right to just go there and chat without any intentions of playing with other couples. It's a club, meant for socialising. There should not be any expectations of play, same as if you go to a vanilla club. Those that have an interest in playing should bear the responsibility to find out if playing with the other couple is on the cards, never on the couple that is not interested at all in playing. Knowing what the other couple is about from early on helps to get a feeling for interest in playing. And also agree that the more you attend clubs and parties the better you'll get at picking those vibes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exySwitches203Couple
over a year ago

Felixstowe


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx"

Sounds like our kind of night

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hat a PairXXXCouple
over a year ago

Bath

We find that no two club visits are ever the same. We’ve met people, clicked after a while and played. Other times, as the OP says, we’ve chatted for ages got on really well, but no play. That’s been for different reasons, sometimes cues not being picked up (both ways), or other times just not feeling like playing.

Often our best times have been where we start playing together in a group room and things just happen. Sometimes we chat afterwards and other times it’s totally anonymous - that’s sometimes really hot……

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"... I think some method of communicating with your own partner that you are both interested for starters.

Oh... that's a matter for another separate post entirely. From chats with other couples, we have learnt that some couples have a special sign (cross a leg, touch a pendant, turn the wristwatch upside down, play with their wedding ring), others play with the drink glass in a particular way. Some couples make a particular question (e.g. have you been to Xtasia?) that they have agreed they would never ask unless they want to communicate they want to play, etc. Many ways.

Won't share ours in public here, obviously ... "

See this part is what worries me about clubs, I don't notice people flirting with me at all & when the question comes up unless I've had chance to chat to the Mr away I would have to say no rather than put him on the spot if that makes sense so it's handy to know little hints like that to know your both comfortable as that's one of my main concerns regarding clubs.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Will add in retrospect that we do not go a club with any expectation other than to have a good time.. Anything else is a huge bonus, we have our subtle yes/no touches whilst in 'company' and appreciate it isn't just us who struggle on signals from them..

Guess the frustration is when half want to go ahead and the other is a no..

Utterly respected, but...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"... I think some method of communicating with your own partner that you are both interested for starters.

Oh... that's a matter for another separate post entirely. From chats with other couples, we have learnt that some couples have a special sign (cross a leg, touch a pendant, turn the wristwatch upside down, play with their wedding ring), others play with the drink glass in a particular way. Some couples make a particular question (e.g. have you been to Xtasia?) that they have agreed they would never ask unless they want to communicate they want to play, etc. Many ways.

Won't share ours in public here, obviously ...

See this part is what worries me about clubs, I don't notice people flirting with me at all & when the question comes up unless I've had chance to chat to the Mr away I would have to say no rather than put him on the spot if that makes sense so it's handy to know little hints like that to know your both comfortable as that's one of my main concerns regarding clubs.

Mrs

"

OMG!! YES!! D is far more intuitive than I, he's fantastic at drawing people toward him and engaging, we would've missed soo many fantastic experiences without his charm.

Example, a vanilla wedding and he had a lady hanging on his word's, I rock up to the bar and said "He's told me where I'm going to sit and watch him fuck you!"

Error, I fucked that one up..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx

Sounds like our kind of night "

Totally, feel free to check the Veri..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Not just you. Happens to us as well, both in clubs and in home parties. We wish we had a fireproof strategy to gauge interest from the other couple. Many couples are shy to decide if they want to play, no matter how chatty they are. Others are too polite to stop chatting even if they are clear that they do not want to play. Others are new so they are waiting for you to make the offer to play.

So far what seems to work for us since times is to raise early the conversation about what sort of dynamics they like, to gauge compatibility. If you think they are compatible, rather than asking them to play, give them a chance to think and talk to reach other and decide, say you are going to the jacuzzi or to check the cinema or the group play room, whatever seems suitable for the club you are, and ask them if they'd want to come along. If they do, they want to remain with you, if they don't or say "we may join you later", it's a chance for them to seek other couples and for you to make a gracious exit."

Valid and appreciated!! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx"

What did he do that was different to what you do?

I think there's a fine line between being too pushy and too laid back. And it all depends on the other people too.

Go in 'for the kill' too soon and they run. Too late... and they are already bored.

Try this as your chat up line- "Hi we're DeyeY, wanna fuck?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Just do your own thing works for us. Just chill and if something connects, have fun.

Planning and overthinking, got to be a recipe for taking the fun out of things, just have fun, the rest comes naturally.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We go to clubs with the intention of having a social/laugh and catching up with friends and if play happens it's a bonus. Mostly so we aren't setting ourselves up to be disappointed if it doesn't.

That said we do try to talk to people we are interested in as we want to play if we can. I am terrible at picking up when people are flirting and may want to take things further though. If someone is interested in playing with us I need them to be blunt and say that's what they want. B

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

[Removed by poster at 11/09/23 16:14:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"We go to clubs with the intention of having a social/laugh and catching up with friends and if play happens it's a bonus. Mostly so we aren't setting ourselves up to be disappointed if it doesn't.

That said we do try to talk to people we are interested in as we want to play if we can. I am terrible at picking up when people are flirting and may want to take things further though. If someone is interested in playing with us I need them to be blunt and say that's what they want. B"

Sounds familiar!! X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heGigglersCouple
over a year ago

Stourbridge (West-Mids)

With couples we find it can be tricky because they sometimes need time to have a chat and make sure they both want to play.

We normally just go, enjoy ourselves and if anything happens its a bonus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"With couples we find it can be tricky because they sometimes need time to have a chat and make sure they both want to play.

We normally just go, enjoy ourselves and if anything happens its a bonus "

Ditto, but that frustration of half hour spent when one half ain't into the idea...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been to a swinger club a couple of times and got no where

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

I got to clubs without withput expectations. And they if someone is chatting to me then unless they state they want to play, then it's clearly just social.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *WALKinkCouple
over a year ago

Eastbourne

We go, we have fun, we chat we've also found asking "what are you here to enjoy?" is a good ice-breaker question, be prepared to have it asked back lol.

Last time, got some great responses and an ever better hook-up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *quirtyfun69Couple
over a year ago

Burnley

We go to clubs with no expectations and always have a great time. Sometimes people need to go with an idea of limits, just to make conversations run a bit more smoother.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ofter frequent one of the blackpool clubs and are yet to "PLAY" with others. I put it down to not having a clue, being shy or not attracted to anyone. It'll happen we hope one day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"We go, we have fun, we chat we've also found asking "what are you here to enjoy?" is a good ice-breaker question, be prepared to have it asked back lol.

Last time, got some great responses and an ever better hook-up"

Good and honest one!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"With couples we find it can be tricky because they sometimes need time to have a chat and make sure they both want to play.

We normally just go, enjoy ourselves and if anything happens its a bonus

Ditto, but that frustration of half hour spent when one half ain't into the idea... "
why is it wasted time if you just chat?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find some people are just interested in getting d*unk and having the craic.

Nothing wrong with that but if I want that kind of scene I'd just go to any old pub or club

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up


"I find some people are just interested in getting d*unk and having the craic.

Nothing wrong with that but if I want that kind of scene I'd just go to any old pub or club "
I would never go to a normal club / pub. I much prefer to spend my time at swingers clubs. Even if I won't be playing... currently I'm not meeting for fun at all, but I will be at clubs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

We've been to clubs enough now to know what we want to do.

We always start off people watching, it's fun..

If there's someone/couple we both like we'll let them know..

normally, "Hey, we think you're great and would love to play with you, we're heading to a room, you're welcome to join us, If you feel like it, come and find us."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We're definitely guilty of this. And sometimes we see in a club what we call the school disco effect. Lots of people who want to get down but are too nervous to make the first move. However it's not the worse thing in the world as we really enjoy the social side of clubs and the awesome people we meet. But we do also love filthy times and sometimes we think we are we being shit swingers? Should we be more forward and quicker to take things futher. Maybe should spend less time in social areas and more in the action areas.

It's interesting that normally we find people socially, build up chemistry and take it to another room. And that works well for us but takes time. However we have also have some really hot and sexy times with people we've not even chatted to in club play rooms (including a couple who didn't speak English and just joined us). So we also know sometimes hot times don't need always need all that ground work and rapport building. So begs the questions should we just get more stuck in?

We see some people in the club scene who just go around filling their boots all night. We often see a core of swingers who really don't stand on ceremony. A quick hello and of they run off to a room. We've seen the same at house parties. Some who are more social around the kitchen till they warm up at end of the night and some who are running off to the play spaces soon into the party. Also in our experience the swingers who don't stand on ceremony tent to be mainly older swingers. And likewise in our experience it seems to be the younger swingers who social more and play less in clubs.

I think the most important thing is just not to be backwards at coming forwards if you find people hot. It's a swingers club after all. No one is going to be offended you ask to play with them even if it's a no. And if it is a no there's plenty more fish. Where's the risk?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilth N KinkCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Oh we are guilty of this! In fact we are still yet to actually have a play in a club that wasn’t just us or with a couple we have met with before.

Honestly I think it’s harder on clubs especially when you’re new as everyone seems to already know one another. We’ve been going to the same club on the same night quite regularly and still have no clue on signs on if people want to chat let alone play, honestly starting to think clubs might not be for us apart from to be watched.

Kink (f)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rumcouple2013Couple
over a year ago

Tamworth

We have been going to Chams for many years and can count on one hand the times we have played.

We normally go on Saturday evenings and we never seem to attract the right people. We chat to May couples but it rarely leads to anything. Yes we ways go, with no expectations, but it doesn’t stop us being disappointed when we leave. We question if it’s our age, Mrs Brums looks male side of couples tend to connect with us or if it’s our boundaries.

We now go less and less

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry


"We have been going to Chams for many years and can count on one hand the times we have played.

We normally go on Saturday evenings and we never seem to attract the right people. We chat to May couples but it rarely leads to anything. Yes we ways go, with no expectations, but it doesn’t stop us being disappointed when we leave. We question if it’s our age, Mrs Brums looks male side of couples tend to connect with us or if it’s our boundaries.

We now go less and less"

Saturdays tend to be very busy, noisy and very much a party atmosphere. We have a great time but it tends to be

from a more social perspective. Personally we have better luck in Chameleons when it has a fair few in but the atmosphere is more chilled. Some of our hottest experiences in Chameleons have been mid week and Sundays.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I don’t share the same opinion with you on this. I love the social part. Anything else is a bonus.

No time is wasted on my part as long as I enjoy myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

Be bold and be upfront. If you are in a club for one thing, say it.

For us we love the social. Absolutely we’ve parted company with people we thought we would play with and equally have played with people we thought we wouldn’t.

No harm being upfront, be prepared for rejection and success.

Have fun

xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I find some people are just interested in getting d*unk and having the craic.

Nothing wrong with that but if I want that kind of scene I'd just go to any old pub or club "

I can’t go to my local in my lingerie you can’t really compare the 2.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry


"I find some people are just interested in getting d*unk and having the craic.

Nothing wrong with that but if I want that kind of scene I'd just go to any old pub or club

I can’t go to my local in my lingerie you can’t really compare the 2.

"

To be fair last time Mrs Misfit took her top off in our local the Landlord said she had to put it back on. It's a bit of a rule apparently

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Please understand this post was not intended to say if we don't play, clubs are a waste of time. As some seem to have judged is our position and feeling.

Some however have read it exactly as intended in terms of moving an interaction along to a yes or no respectfully when we would like to play with the other party/parties.

To those thank you and some great, polite suggestions

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

How about you both sitting in the hot tub (if they have one) and start a conversion with others i found that far easier then sitting around trying to make contact with others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

From the Single Male perspective I have attended a few clubs over the years, and YES, the whole idea of how to get 'noticed' is very daunting to many guys!

But I find it easy to talk to people. It's imperative to engage in conversations. I tend to speak to those whom I hear are new to the Club and help them calm any of their fears and anxiety.

But one crucial rule of mine is, I don't expect any successful playing at clubs. I enjoy the social interaction far more, which assists in people recognising me then as maybe too at any future time.

If any invitation to play occurs, it's a bonus.

I know of one Club where attending a few years ago, they had different coloured wrist bands, of different colours. Each colour identified what the wearer was interested in. It tended to work OK.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"How about you both sitting in the hot tub (if they have one) and start a conversion with others i found that far easier then sitting around trying to make contact with others."

Meeting and chatting with others is not a problem, we assure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx"

If you find it trick, imagine being a single guy. I have been visiting clubs for few years and every time I think I mastered the body language some occurrence prove me wrong.

On my view it depends which club you go (including layout-open areas facilitate playing), people attending that evening,organised event or normal club night. As a single guy I always go with no expectations and my approach is exactly the one you have described. I try to avoid the sex topic and wait for the couple or single female to touch the subject. I try to pay attention to the body language and how well the conversation flows. If there are awkward moments I say thank you and leave. The odd thing is sometimes the couple you thought a connection was established, on a open play room turns you down and the one you have experienced an awkward moment invites you to play. I never ask, always wait to be invited.

As a single man I try to be as social and proactive as possible, as you never know what might happen later on the night. At the end I try not to overthink and go with the flow. It seems to work as I am blessed to be invited to play 7/8 times for every ten visits I make.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx

If you find it trick, imagine being a single guy. I have been visiting clubs for few years and every time I think I mastered the body language some occurrence prove me wrong.

On my view it depends which club you go (including layout-open areas facilitate playing), people attending that evening,organised event or normal club night. As a single guy I always go with no expectations and my approach is exactly the one you have described. I try to avoid the sex topic and wait for the couple or single female to touch the subject. I try to pay attention to the body language and how well the conversation flows. If there are awkward moments I say thank you and leave. The odd thing is sometimes the couple you thought a connection was established, on a open play room turns you down and the one you have experienced an awkward moment invites you to play. I never ask, always wait to be invited.

As a single man I try to be as social and proactive as possible, as you never know what might happen later on the night. At the end I try not to overthink and go with the flow. It seems to work as I am blessed to be invited to play 7/8 times for every ten visits I make.

"

D has been there before we met, so utterly sympathetic to single guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Our local club, Shhh in Newcastle has a great bar area with a massive communal table which seats 10 or more people (think kitchen island). It's really good because single guys don't need to "join" you and everyone can chat and then drop off without leaving people alone. It's such an inclusive environment. Without it, I honestly don't think I'd enjoy the club experience.

We're very upfront with people about what in the club. A few people have said to us in the past in conversation "well everyone is here for the same reason" and I think that's a massive mistake a lot of people make.

You also need to decide how picky you want to be. Having standards is fine, but the longer you chat to people the more chance there is of you finding something you don't like.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

We chat for about 30 minutes to see if we get on and say we’re off for a walk about the rooms if they want to come with us. That’s usually a good way to gauge interest for us

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx

If you find it trick, imagine being a single guy. I have been visiting clubs for few years and every time I think I mastered the body language some occurrence prove me wrong.

On my view it depends which club you go (including layout-open areas facilitate playing), people attending that evening,organised event or normal club night. As a single guy I always go with no expectations and my approach is exactly the one you have described. I try to avoid the sex topic and wait for the couple or single female to touch the subject. I try to pay attention to the body language and how well the conversation flows. If there are awkward moments I say thank you and leave. The odd thing is sometimes the couple you thought a connection was established, on a open play room turns you down and the one you have experienced an awkward moment invites you to play. I never ask, always wait to be invited.

As a single man I try to be as social and proactive as possible, as you never know what might happen later on the night. At the end I try not to overthink and go with the flow. It seems to work as I am blessed to be invited to play 7/8 times for every ten visits I make.

"

I act very much the same as you, but do struggle with being a single guy in a club, as I always feel like I'm being watched, and scrutinised for being such. Be confident, but not pushy, try to circulate but don't join the conga line of prowlers or look pervy.....it's hard work being by yourself, not a familiar face in the crowd, and the onus is on you to break the ice, because nobody approaches single guys....

My running total is 18 visits spread over 8 clubs, and I've played on 3 occasions. Nobody has lesser expectations of play in a club than me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been to clubs many a time now and not played despite chatting for hours with others. Maybe we don't get the signs or do not show it ourselves that we are interested in playing but we certainly do not refer to it as wasted time.

Quite often you meet some really interesting people and hear about their swinging experiences. You do think dammit at times when they message you the next day and say they would have really liked to have played.

But at least you know for next time and there is no awkwardness. D leans towards being demisexual also so it will take him some time getting to know someone before he plays

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *usktilDawnCouple
over a year ago

York

[Removed by poster at 12/09/23 13:32:39]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *usktilDawnCouple
over a year ago

York


"Thank you all for the input! Honestly we feel a single guy who approached us recently had it down brilliantly friendly, fun, frank and respectful. We are far from hardened and have realised we have to be a little selfish.. The night was a 'dusk till dawn' one though xx"

Hello

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ischiefandmayhem69Couple
over a year ago

Leuchars

We have the same problem. We are at clubf this Saturday so let's hope folks take notice of your posting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rudiesCouple
over a year ago

here


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

Let’s us know when your going next

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

Let’s us know when your going next "

Best response award goes to...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

We go to clubs to play and with expectations too If nothing else we are happy to play with each other.

If we’re looking to play we give it 10-15mins with new people and if they seem interested will often say ‘fancy a room?’ or ‘fancy a walk around?’ Doesn’t always work but then we’ve saved wasting our time anymore too xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of clubs have entry fees, drink costs, travel, and potentially staying in a room overnight. Not to mention the time. It is not unreasonable to expect sex at a sex club of all places.

That said, sadly, many folk are voyeuristic or have zero intention of playing. We expect some just go for their own titillation. We're learning to filter these.

We just drop the question about what they're looking for. If it sounds like they are interested we suggest checking out the play rooms. If they don't follow it's all good as we can then move onto chatting to another couple.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"... I think some method of communicating with your own partner that you are both interested for starters.

Oh... that's a matter for another separate post entirely. From chats with other couples, we have learnt that some couples have a special sign (cross a leg, touch a pendant, turn the wristwatch upside down, play with their wedding ring), others play with the drink glass in a particular way. Some couples make a particular question (e.g. have you been to Xtasia?) that they have agreed they would never ask unless they want to communicate they want to play, etc. Many ways.

Won't share ours in public here, obviously ...

See this part is what worries me about clubs, I don't notice people flirting with me at all & when the question comes up unless I've had chance to chat to the Mr away I would have to say no rather than put him on the spot if that makes sense so it's handy to know little hints like that to know your both comfortable as that's one of my main concerns regarding clubs.

Mrs

OMG!! YES!! D is far more intuitive than I, he's fantastic at drawing people toward him and engaging, we would've missed soo many fantastic experiences without his charm.

Example, a vanilla wedding and he had a lady hanging on his word's, I rock up to the bar and said "He's told me where I'm going to sit and watch him fuck you!"

Error, I fucked that one up.. "

Yep this would be me too

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ove_puppetsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

We go to clubs to meet people in the hope of playing, but we’re equally happy socialising and would far prefer to do that in a sex club than a pub.

As our profile says, and as we always tell people in person, we are looking for single guys. That’s why we attend Hot Wife and greedy girl events rather than couple events.

We sometimes play with couples but it’s not our preference so it’s doesn’t happen often. Having said that we really enjoy chatting with couples and playing next to another couple in a play room - total eye candy!

Sometimes we find that couples don’t seem to listen when we say we are looking for guys to play with and still hope for more, which can make things awkward.

We would never want to make people feel like they’re wasting their time talking to us if it’s not going to lead to play. Difficult one as we really enjoy meeting people and chatting to them without any expectations or pressure to play from either side. For us, we’re happy with what ever we end up doing and hope that anyone else involved feels the same. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anilla-sinCouple
over a year ago

lancs

we had a bad visit recently.. 45 minute drive and £25 to play on our own!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

On our first club visit a couple came over and spoke to us (we hadn't been eyeballing them or giving off any signs) and then the next day we got a message saying how disappointed they were that we didn't play

People say clubs are great and there's no pressure but the guilt trip wasn't very sexy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

I think a lot of people at clubs want to keep their options open. They won't rule anything out, but they won't give a clear indication that it's all on. Some of the time they'll be waiting for a 'better offer'. And you're right, the conversation can seem to be going well up to the point where you suggest moving to the next stage. There's something refreshing about clear enthusiasm and "why the hell not?".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ogerBottomsMan
over a year ago

Aberdare


"We chat for about 30 minutes to see if we get on and say we’re off for a walk about the rooms if they want to come with us. That’s usually a good way to gauge interest for us "

That works.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

It’s definitely something we need to get better at. We tend to go down the ‘we’re heading down to play, do you fancy coming’ route. It’s a good way of forcing their hand either way and extracting ourselves from a potentially awkward situation!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably sounds daft but we mostly avoid chatting with couples to avoid awkwardness at clubs.

We go to do our own thing. Sometimes it ends up with others joining in. Sometimes not. Either way we plan to have a good time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ennis and MinnieCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

The more you go to clubs the more experienced you'll get at sensing signals. We find it's a case of feeling a vibe, which might start with extended glances and smiles. Obviously it takes someone to say hello/pay a compliment, start a chat, then we generally get an inkling if play is on the cards. Ourselves we've found a few times after that play was on the cards but not realised until after. Personally we don't have to play with others to have a good night. We've played with others on two nights out of seven club visits this year, the other nights we've played with each other and still had a great night. Try a few more club nights, go for walks around the club, if you think you might be getting "the look" give "the look" back, you might end up in a playroom with them!"

Agree, often just play with each other but still can be a great night, fab profile guys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

It can be a bit intimidating for singles to pick up a vibe from a couple but the same applies for couples to other couples, instead of vague signals it's equally good to be upfront and say you like them and want to play, but is it OK to chat for a bit first? If they are up for play too, now's the time to say. If you were just going for smoke signals you may as well be in a vanilla bar. There's no shame in being direct.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street

I get asked if I want to join them in a private room ,and I think wow what have I got that the next guy over there hasn't got ,it's a mad scene in the clubs, I use my manners ,respect address both the guy and the lady and conversate with both ,always had amazing experiences in clubs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"I get asked if I want to join them in a private room ,and I think wow what have I got that the next guy over there hasn't got ,it's a mad scene in the clubs, I use my manners ,respect address both the guy and the lady and conversate with both ,always had amazing experiences in clubs "

Sometimes it's not your personality, you are neatly trimmed, have a nice cock and have abs. Sometimes Miss just needs something that she wants. Doesn't mean we will always feel the same, next time we may pick the 6ft 7in giant that was stood behind you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *y favourite knickersCouple
over a year ago

doncaster

We find it’s all down to the timings in clubs

Mid week when they close earlier things tend to happen faster and prompts people to start chatting

Very late nights seem to be all about getting pissed and playing wa too late.

I’ll eould be interesting to see if anyone else feels the same ????

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street


"I get asked if I want to join them in a private room ,and I think wow what have I got that the next guy over there hasn't got ,it's a mad scene in the clubs, I use my manners ,respect address both the guy and the lady and conversate with both ,always had amazing experiences in clubs

Sometimes it's not your personality, you are neatly trimmed, have a nice cock and have abs. Sometimes Miss just needs something that she wants. Doesn't mean we will always feel the same, next time we may pick the 6ft 7in giant that was stood behind you."

Once you go through them doors it's like a fantasy world ,if you like what you see ,9 times out of 10 the women can have ,yes like you say there's ripped guys ,tats,cocky and pushy and you think you've got no chance with them about ,but it's totally the opposite I've found ,everything I've been to chams I make new friends and always have fun

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester


"I get asked if I want to join them in a private room ,and I think wow what have I got that the next guy over there hasn't got ,it's a mad scene in the clubs, I use my manners ,respect address both the guy and the lady and conversate with both ,always had amazing experiences in clubs

Sometimes it's not your personality, you are neatly trimmed, have a nice cock and have abs. Sometimes Miss just needs something that she wants. Doesn't mean we will always feel the same, next time we may pick the 6ft 7in giant that was stood behind you.

Once you go through them doors it's like a fantasy world ,if you like what you see ,9 times out of 10 the women can have ,yes like you say there's ripped guys ,tats,cocky and pushy and you think you've got no chance with them about ,but it's totally the opposite I've found ,everything I've been to chams I make new friends and always have fun "

By the way, that was one of those not-so-subtle hints. We go to Chams too, PM us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street


"I get asked if I want to join them in a private room ,and I think wow what have I got that the next guy over there hasn't got ,it's a mad scene in the clubs, I use my manners ,respect address both the guy and the lady and conversate with both ,always had amazing experiences in clubs

Sometimes it's not your personality, you are neatly trimmed, have a nice cock and have abs. Sometimes Miss just needs something that she wants. Doesn't mean we will always feel the same, next time we may pick the 6ft 7in giant that was stood behind you.

Once you go through them doors it's like a fantasy world ,if you like what you see ,9 times out of 10 the women can have ,yes like you say there's ripped guys ,tats,cocky and pushy and you think you've got no chance with them about ,but it's totally the opposite I've found ,everything I've been to chams I make new friends and always have fun

By the way, that was one of those not-so-subtle hints. We go to Chams too, PM us."

Noted

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"On our first club visit a couple came over and spoke to us (we hadn't been eyeballing them or giving off any signs) and then the next day we got a message saying how disappointed they were that we didn't play

People say clubs are great and there's no pressure but the guilt trip wasn't very sexy"

Maybe this anecdote was a one off, but it does make you feel like you're going loopy when people refuse to acknowledge less than super duper sexy club experiences

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abluesbabyMan
over a year ago

Gibraltar/Cheshire/London

I'm not saying this is a magic "one fix" solution but one thing I have come across more in clubs on the Continent is the coloured wristband scheme. I am aware a few places or events in the UK have or do use this but its not as common by a long way as abroad.

Anyone not sure what I am referring to then its simply a colour coded wristband you choose to wear. It might be as simple as orientation so people know if you straight or bi or gay or whatever of course. But others I have seen have been more "in depth" and can say whether you're full swap or soft swap or even one club in Spain whether you are just there to socialise or looking to do more.

Like I say its no magic solution as there's "nowt as queer as folk" as me Gran used to say. But reading some of these comments a wristband might (dare I say would) have saved people time and avoid any awkwardness.

Just a thought

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

The trouble is, us Brits don't half beat around the bush.

It's obviously much easier if you are a regular at a club and you get to know other regular couples and singles.

Clubs in Germany have a very different vibe, people are far more direct.

I've sat at a bar in Germany said hello, and was immediately asked if I was there to play.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"On our first club visit a couple came over and spoke to us (we hadn't been eyeballing them or giving off any signs) and then the next day we got a message saying how disappointed they were that we didn't play

People say clubs are great and there's no pressure but the guilt trip wasn't very sexy

Maybe this anecdote was a one off, but it does make you feel like you're going loopy when people refuse to acknowledge less than super duper sexy club experiences "

Absolutely this! I give honest, unbiased reviews of my clubs experiences, but all I get in response is "just another single guy moaning because he didn't get his dick wet"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Black ExperienceMan
over a year ago

banbury

It's tougher for single guys,because I approach people have a great laugh and chat with them . But to not seem too pushy I wait for the couple to give a sign. Some couples just do give a sign things can move forward but sone don't. Then message you later saying how much they wanted to play. It's a gamble but lately I've built the confidence to just ask outright if they want to play .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"Bluntly if we go to a club we want to meet people to play with.. Otherwise we'd be at a vanilla bar or restaurant!

We've found, either by being too polite/nice or utterly shite at picking up the vibe, that we'll waste our time and theirs, chatting, laughing and flirting until we say "we're going to play would they like to join us?"

At which point it can crash.

How do you gauge, be upfront, to either take it to the next step or part company?

We've visited clubs abroad and found it far easier than the UK, just us?

"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *x cplCouple
over a year ago

North of Oxford

It can be difficult at clubs, you can sit chatting laughing joking but it can lack any chemistry/mood/attraction what ever you want to call it. We find with most single guys they spend 5-15 minutes and if we've not dragged them off to a room they take their leave to chase other options..maybe it's us as we never like to plan or agree anything before being at the club. For us it's important that their is some chemistry and a sexual mood for us to play with others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *apybarasCouple
over a year ago

High Lighthouse!


"I'm not saying this is a magic "one fix" solution but one thing I have come across more in clubs on the Continent is the coloured wristband scheme. I am aware a few places or events in the UK have or do use this but its not as common by a long way as abroad.

Anyone not sure what I am referring to then its simply a colour coded wristband you choose to wear. It might be as simple as orientation so people know if you straight or bi or gay or whatever of course. But others I have seen have been more "in depth" and can say whether you're full swap or soft swap or even one club in Spain whether you are just there to socialise or looking to do more.

Like I say its no magic solution as there's "nowt as queer as folk" as me Gran used to say. But reading some of these comments a wristband might (dare I say would) have saved people time and avoid any awkwardness.

Just a thought

"

Maybe little light up badges.

Then, like on Take Me Out, "No likey, no lighty"!

;-)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!"

That's us

Not everyone at a club wants to be followed about by a load of heavy breathers. Some go for their own fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley


"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!

That's us

Not everyone at a club wants to be followed about by a load of heavy breathers. Some go for their own fun."

You might as well stay at home then!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!

That's us

Not everyone at a club wants to be followed about by a load of heavy breathers. Some go for their own fun.

You might as well stay at home then!"

Why? Everyone goes for their own reasons

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!

That's us

Not everyone at a club wants to be followed about by a load of heavy breathers. Some go for their own fun.

You might as well stay at home then!"

We don't have a hot tub at home. Or a dungeon.

We never go with a plan or a hope to have sex with anybody else. Quite often we do but it doesn't bother us if don't and it's never with the blokes who follow us about or the ones who do the weird staring thing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"

Couples in clubs don't make any effort at all, most of the time they sit on their own not talking to anyone!

That's us

Not everyone at a club wants to be followed about by a load of heavy breathers. Some go for their own fun.

You might as well stay at home then!

We don't have a hot tub at home. Or a dungeon.

We never go with a plan or a hope to have sex with anybody else. Quite often we do but it doesn't bother us if don't and it's never with the blokes who follow us about or the ones who do the weird staring thing."

Just avoid the nights when single guys are ‘allowed’ in then. There’s precious few times we do feel welcome, so shouldn’t be an issue

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Personally I found it easier in the 90s. People were just so friendly. They would get to know you, even if they were sitting there on their own. They would genuinely exchange pleasantries. Now people are just not the same.

I can remember going to a club with friends, and by the end of the night I'd have at least five different peoples phone numbers. And I would've had at least one mutual interest. If not more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just avoid the nights when single guys are ‘allowed’ in then. There’s precious few times we do feel welcome, so shouldn’t be an issue "

No. We tend to avoid the couple's nights as they're usually busier.

Your comments are an interesting insight though, so thanks for that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Just avoid the nights when single guys are ‘allowed’ in then. There’s precious few times we do feel welcome, so shouldn’t be an issue

No. We tend to avoid the couple's nights as they're usually busier.

Your comments are an interesting insight though, so thanks for that."

Have you ever visited a club (you’re not already known in) as a single guy yourself? You may feel more sympathetic towards single guys afterwards, although I do appreciate some don’t always behave respectfully. We do all seem to be tarred by the same brush….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just avoid the nights when single guys are ‘allowed’ in then. There’s precious few times we do feel welcome, so shouldn’t be an issue

No. We tend to avoid the couple's nights as they're usually busier.

Your comments are an interesting insight though, so thanks for that.

Have you ever visited a club (you’re not already known in) as a single guy yourself? You may feel more sympathetic towards single guys afterwards, although I do appreciate some don’t always behave respectfully. We do all seem to be tarred by the same brush…."

No I haven't. Doubt I'd have the balls to either.

I wouldn't say they're all tarred with the same brush. If anything we've probably done more with single blokes than couples. The point was we never plan to. The only sex we intend to have is with ourselves. It just so happens that from time to time the plans change

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields


"Just avoid the nights when single guys are ‘allowed’ in then. There’s precious few times we do feel welcome, so shouldn’t be an issue

No. We tend to avoid the couple's nights as they're usually busier.

Your comments are an interesting insight though, so thanks for that.

Have you ever visited a club (you’re not already known in) as a single guy yourself? You may feel more sympathetic towards single guys afterwards, although I do appreciate some don’t always behave respectfully. We do all seem to be tarred by the same brush…."

We actively seek out single guys in our local club, it's all we play with. I'd say we or the gf plays with a single guy on most visits.

We also don't have any of this walking dead zombie wanking followers that people talk of.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I absolutely admit to being a social whore… so the pace I may go in a club may be at a different speed to others….

If my pace doesn’t work for you… you are more than welcome to find people who do..

I don’t see why people criticise others for how they do their swinging in clubs… at the end of the day doesn’t it come down to your comfort levels! Don’t we always say to people that you will always end up going at the pace of the slowest person

If your pace works for you… stick with it

If it ain’t working, either be prepared to change that pace or if not prepared to budge, then maybe clubs aren’t for you….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *23bbcMan
over a year ago

Romford

I mainly go to clubs to play. What works for me is checking the forums for people going to the club the same date as me. From there you can see people with similar interests. You can meet for a drink or 2 and see if anyone want to take things further!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Before this thread descends into "you are all doing it wrong" people aren't compelled to play, reserve the right to not play with anyone they don't get the right vibe from and some even go just to be voyeurs.

We personally have done the full gamut, from an impromptu orgy, exhibitionism in open areas, watching others play but not join, inviting singles or a couple to join, sometimes for swap, same room non-swap, and even *shock* doing nothing apart from hot tub and a few drinks.

We do what we like and everyone is happy, when we want to share we do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Before this thread descends into "you are all doing it wrong" people aren't compelled to play, reserve the right to not play with anyone they don't get the right vibe from and some even go just to be voyeurs.

We personally have done the full gamut, from an impromptu orgy, exhibitionism in open areas, watching others play but not join, inviting singles or a couple to join, sometimes for swap, same room non-swap, and even *shock* doing nothing apart from hot tub and a few drinks.

We do what we like and everyone is happy, when we want to share we do."

Mic drop!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *eyeY OP   Couple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester


"Before this thread descends into "you are all doing it wrong" people aren't compelled to play, reserve the right to not play with anyone they don't get the right vibe from and some even go just to be voyeurs.

We personally have done the full gamut, from an impromptu orgy, exhibitionism in open areas, watching others play but not join, inviting singles or a couple to join, sometimes for swap, same room non-swap, and even *shock* doing nothing apart from hot tub and a few drinks.

We do what we like and everyone is happy, when we want to share we do."

Yup!!!

As usual the conversation has ahem, 'perverted' (apologies, not..) from the initial question/intent..

As you some fucking awesome night's just socialising, eg nature's call at a Chic, and some downright filthy 'multi' nights..

No one is wrong with how they enjoy themselves (add consent etc, before we get crucified!).

It was just how do others gauge, ask, or pick up on the desire to play..

At that we slowly sink back into our forum ostracised hole and may pop our heads up to check the coast is clear in a week or so..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top