FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Club Discussion

Never been to a swingers club

Jump to newest
 

By *inkykhan OP   Man
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hi all

Im a single asian male, never been to a swingers club. Seeking some friends with whom i can attend swingers clubs with. As I have never been, i would like to learn by going with others and understanding the atmosphere and vibe.

I would be grateful if any swingers clubgoers who fancy some enjoyable company, would please message me directly to discuss further/arrange a club visit. Thank you in advance

Kind regards

Kinky Khan xXx(",)xXx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

OP, I think it's much better (even if daunting) to go on your own. Do your research first, check the website if club/clubs that you'd be interested in visiting. There is normally already a lot of information there, about the etiquette as well as requirements for single men.

Once you know which club you'd like to go to and when, and have sorted the membership (most clubs require single men to have their membership approved before they can turn up), then go. On your first night, a member of staff would show you around and explain the rules (mostly: no touching without explicit invitation; if the door is closed, don't knock/try to open it etc), they may also introduce you to some of the regulars.

For your first time, go with no expectations apart from being able to be in the same place as other like-minded adults. Be friendly and respectful, smell nice, try chatting to people.

What's the worst that could happen, OP? You being dragged into a giant orgy as soon as you put one foot over the threshold of the club? Lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"OP, I think it's much better (even if daunting) to go on your own. Do your research first, check the website if club/clubs that you'd be interested in visiting. There is normally already a lot of information there, about the etiquette as well as requirements for single men.

Once you know which club you'd like to go to and when, and have sorted the membership (most clubs require single men to have their membership approved before they can turn up), then go. On your first night, a member of staff would show you around and explain the rules (mostly: no touching without explicit invitation; if the door is closed, don't knock/try to open it etc), they may also introduce you to some of the regulars.

For your first time, go with no expectations apart from being able to be in the same place as other like-minded adults. Be friendly and respectful, smell nice, try chatting to people.

What's the worst that could happen, OP? You being dragged into a giant orgy as soon as you put one foot over the threshold of the club? Lol. "

Best advice you're going to get

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddfmyd11Man
over a year ago

Towcester


"OP, I think it's much better (even if daunting) to go on your own. Do your research first, check the website if club/clubs that you'd be interested in visiting. There is normally already a lot of information there, about the etiquette as well as requirements for single men.

Once you know which club you'd like to go to and when, and have sorted the membership (most clubs require single men to have their membership approved before they can turn up), then go. On your first night, a member of staff would show you around and explain the rules (mostly: no touching without explicit invitation; if the door is closed, don't knock/try to open it etc), they may also introduce you to some of the regulars.

For your first time, go with no expectations apart from being able to be in the same place as other like-minded adults. Be friendly and respectful, smell nice, try chatting to people.

What's the worst that could happen, OP? You being dragged into a giant orgy as soon as you put one foot over the threshold of the club? Lol. "

I'm also planning to go to a club for the first time alone and although there is information on websites about etiquette etc, there never seems to be information on what to genuinely expect. As for be friendly and chat to people... If there's noone around that I know I tend to find I'm completely unable to do either of those things.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"OP, I think it's much better (even if daunting) to go on your own. Do your research first, check the website if club/clubs that you'd be interested in visiting. There is normally already a lot of information there, about the etiquette as well as requirements for single men.

Once you know which club you'd like to go to and when, and have sorted the membership (most clubs require single men to have their membership approved before they can turn up), then go. On your first night, a member of staff would show you around and explain the rules (mostly: no touching without explicit invitation; if the door is closed, don't knock/try to open it etc), they may also introduce you to some of the regulars.

For your first time, go with no expectations apart from being able to be in the same place as other like-minded adults. Be friendly and respectful, smell nice, try chatting to people.

What's the worst that could happen, OP? You being dragged into a giant orgy as soon as you put one foot over the threshold of the club? Lol.

I'm also planning to go to a club for the first time alone and although there is information on websites about etiquette etc, there never seems to be information on what to genuinely expect. As for be friendly and chat to people... If there's noone around that I know I tend to find I'm completely unable to do either of those things."

We've all been there, went somewhere we didn't know anyone. What did you do then? Did you end up not talking to anyone, or waiting for someone to talk to you? Swingers clubs are no different, just different atmosphere.

I am not a social butterfly myself, I prefer to "people watch and look pretty" (lol).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddfmyd11Man
over a year ago

Towcester


"OP, I think it's much better (even if daunting) to go on your own. Do your research first, check the website if club/clubs that you'd be interested in visiting. There is normally already a lot of information there, about the etiquette as well as requirements for single men.

Once you know which club you'd like to go to and when, and have sorted the membership (most clubs require single men to have their membership approved before they can turn up), then go. On your first night, a member of staff would show you around and explain the rules (mostly: no touching without explicit invitation; if the door is closed, don't knock/try to open it etc), they may also introduce you to some of the regulars.

For your first time, go with no expectations apart from being able to be in the same place as other like-minded adults. Be friendly and respectful, smell nice, try chatting to people.

What's the worst that could happen, OP? You being dragged into a giant orgy as soon as you put one foot over the threshold of the club? Lol.

I'm also planning to go to a club for the first time alone and although there is information on websites about etiquette etc, there never seems to be information on what to genuinely expect. As for be friendly and chat to people... If there's noone around that I know I tend to find I'm completely unable to do either of those things.

We've all been there, went somewhere we didn't know anyone. What did you do then? Did you end up not talking to anyone, or waiting for someone to talk to you? Swingers clubs are no different, just different atmosphere.

I am not a social butterfly myself, I prefer to "people watch and look pretty" (lol). "

Normally I end up not talking to anyone after no-one comes and talks to me, or after being too scared to talk to the one person who did come and talk to me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only advice I can give is to go along to a club which has a wet area sauna/ hot tub you’ll find most people chat to each other in that environment thereby putting you at ease if nothing happens you’ll have had a nice chill out at the very least

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olkybeachMan
over a year ago

Hythe

Just go on your own, and take no expectations along with you. If there's a hot tub, get in it, and join any conversation that happens around you, and mention that it's your first time. People will include you in the chatter after that, and some might say 'Me too!' - if this happens, you automatically have a friend of sorts for the duration of your visit. Don't touch anyone unless it's obvious that you're allowed to, and compliment anyone who you like the look of.

Dare yourself to wander around without your towel.

Talk about things that interest you.

Enjoy the views. Sometimes just seeing a knockout pair of boobs is all the action you'll get, but don't let that dishearten you - seeing boobs is a good thing, not a disappointment!

Say no to anything that doesn't feel right, and be yourself - genuine people are the best ones to meet and it's up to you to be one of them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *olkybeachMan
over a year ago

Hythe

Oh, and I forgot to say, don't be one of the idiots who follows every woman everywhere she goes. Those are the absolute worst types of visitors to any club.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

What to expect:

Easy go with no expectations.

It’s a club when (thinking about Cupids), where people are drinking, chatting, dancing like they would be in a normal pub / club. Ok the guys are in towels or boxers, and the women in sexy outfits (yes some are similar what you may see on soem Friday nights but most a bit more risque)

I go and think, well I will have a couple of drinks chat to the bar staff, and see what happens. Sometimes I will get to watch a play, sometimes I will get invited to join in just by wandering around.

Sometimes I will get introduced by someone I already know to someone else or event the bar staff will say hello this is X. I would say it’s a fine line for single guys, be assertive yes, each couple / lady is different.

Some would like you to take the lead, like show your interested, flirt, then invite them to a room, some will want to invite you to a to a room. Sometimes if a couple is say playing openly give them space to paly maybe watch but interfere with space,

If they can see you watching , and trust me if they like being watched they will know they are being watched, maybe smile and nod, maybe a compliment and then see what happens. Some couples / females like to be watched but have no interest in others joining and you have to accept that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iniskirtCouple
over a year ago

Paisley

We have never been to a club either, it’s something that we think if we get brave enough to move to the next stage that a visit to a club would be ideal.

I know we would be there together but still think it could be very daunting, not sure we could approach others to start a chat, we would probably end up looking like rabbits stuck in headlights.

X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

DO NOT knock a closed door.

If this is the only single advice I could give a single male it would be this.

When you are behind that closed door and all you get is 'tap tap tap' the last thing you'll ever get is someone open that door and say " oh hi come on in, let me put the kettle on"

The doors are locked for a reason.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddfmyd11Man
over a year ago

Towcester


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee. "

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?"

If you can’t go to “vanilla” social events with any level of confidence then perhaps swingers clubs aren’t the right place for you?

Unless you go with the intention of being purely a voyeur. There is a tolerance and a place for these type of guys and sometimes they even get lucky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ertcamembertMan
over a year ago

Reading area


"Only advice I can give is to go along to a club which has a wet area sauna/ hot tub you’ll find most people chat to each other in that environment thereby putting you at ease if nothing happens you’ll have had a nice chill out at the very least "
Agreed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?"

Really? You've never been to a pub, for a meal out, to the cinema etc?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?"

"What's your name?" could be a good start.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddfmyd11Man
over a year ago

Towcester


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?

Really? You've never been to a pub, for a meal out, to the cinema etc? "

I've been for a meal out with family, but otherwise no. I had anxiety years ago and now after that I can't go out with friends anyway because I don't have any.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?

Really? You've never been to a pub, for a meal out, to the cinema etc?

I've been for a meal out with family, but otherwise no. I had anxiety years ago and now after that I can't go out with friends anyway because I don't have any."

Sorry to hear that. But, if you are too anxious to speak to a stranger, clubs are not the best for you, sadly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exylegs1969TV/TS
over a year ago

Durham


"I think some people never really go anywhere socially on their own and so they aren’t well practiced in being sociable with strangers.

Ditch the mates for an evening and try going to a pub on your own then challenge yourself to talk briefly with 5 strangers.

It’s not an easy thing to do but do this a few times before you throw yourself into the deep end of a club and your experience will be better I guarantee.

Some of us have never gone anywhere socially at all - with or without friends. I have no idea how to start a conversation with strangers beyond "hi, my name is..." - yeah... What am I supposed to say next?"

Well how about, wow you look fabulous, I know it sounds cheesy to say but do you come here often? This is my first time and as you might notice I'm really quite nervous but excited to be here... failing that talk about the weather

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pankingNorfolkCouple
over a year ago

Norwichish


"Only advice I can give is to go along to a club which has a wet area sauna/ hot tub you’ll find most people chat to each other in that environment thereby putting you at ease if nothing happens you’ll have had a nice chill out at the very least "

Or take up smoking/vaping always a few isolated out there in the smoking area.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

We also highly recommend getting yourself to a big social as you will meet others in the same position & get to know others who arrange guest lists at clubs where you can pay the entry fee to get in but not need the membership (try before you buy)

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ertslady1984Woman
over a year ago

Herts

[Removed by poster at 07/07/23 18:40:43]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ertslady1984Woman
over a year ago

Herts

Hi,

I've always wanted to attend a club. Sadly i don't think I'm brave enough to go on my own at least if it's with someone it's a bit easier.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *geing chancersCouple
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield

If you're a smoker, chat to people in the smoking area like you would in any pub. But my best bit of advice would be find a woman to go with . I've taken ( and introduced) many different women into the club scene.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top