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Predatory Males

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By *ingersmalloy OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

I’ve been going to clubs for many years and this is not aimed at only one club , because I’ve seen happening in many clubs . The so called wanking dead is not a new thing I know . It’s just that it seems now more and more men think because they’re in a club can treat women like a piece of meat and have no manners, decorum or respect at all . I know times are tough and clubs need money through the door. But letting people like this has the adverse effect. I shall be voting with my feet at a few venues and would urge club owners to provide a nice environment whilst making a profit to exclude these type of from their clubs . Rant over

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By *yphodMan
over a year ago

London

I can concur. There can be some quite aggressive men at times, who barge in shoving people out of the way, rudely interuppt when you are talking to a lady/couple.

It gives the rest of us a bad rep.

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By *astesLikeMagicWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think most clubs do filter them out once they've got the measure of them.

Tbh they're unlikely to get any attention so hopefully won't go back anyway.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Few people would let such others gain any positive attention. And inappropriate behaviour is reported, such that breaking rules leada to ejection and possibly loss of membership.

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge


"I think most clubs do filter them out once they've got the measure of them.

Tbh they're unlikely to get any attention so hopefully won't go back anyway. "

Agreed, hard to exclude someone before they have stepped out of line. The sentiment expressed by the OP is spot on but making it work needs a lot of opperational suppltey.

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By *oulkissMan
over a year ago

Croydon


"I’ve been going to clubs for many years and this is not aimed at only one club , because I’ve seen happening in many clubs . The so called wanking dead is not a new thing I know . It’s just that it seems now more and more men think because they’re in a club can treat women like a piece of meat and have no manners, decorum or respect at all . I know times are tough and clubs need money through the door. But letting people like this has the adverse effect. I shall be voting with my feet at a few venues and would urge club owners to provide a nice environment whilst making a profit to exclude these type of from their clubs . Rant over "

I've left clubs because of not wanting to be associated with these types.

Too many people migrating from Tinder and the like I think.

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By *inky_ragnarCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

There are some clubs that do not control single male numbers and it gets incredibly creepy when you have your partner being followed by a gang of a dozen guys

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If you see bad behaviour report it.

Clubs can't do anything about adverse behaviour if they don't know it's happened. It's all well and good moaning about it after it's happened but how many will actually confront them at the time? Few I suspect.

If you're not comfortable with confronting someone at the time then you can report it to club staff so they can act, or you an stand by and watch it happen. The choice is yours.

People are forever calling out things they see in clubs in the forums but don't seem willing or able to try and prevent it at the time. It's too late once you or they have left.

A

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By *ustagentMan
over a year ago

wa14

I have felt intimidated myself and im a guy, some sections of sociaty regard women as just an object to use and do what they want, sadley i have seen this in clubs far to often but money shouts loud and some clubs just cant be bothered to do much

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

I find it too easy to call out the walking zombies and they often walk away with their tale between their legs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow did hear of this happening, that’s why we always will go to single ladies and couples nights

Actually on a night out a few years ago to an 80s club we saw clearly single men hovering at the bar , watching women getting drinker and d*unker and d*unker

Clearly not a problem just for swingers clubs but obviously the naturally gravitate to them in the end

And yes it’s a real shame for the decent men out there that don’t act that way ,we know you exist because we see the difference in messages

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By *ingersmalloy OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Exactly this , have been calling people out, and reported to management of clubs and gone to the same clubs on another occasion and seen these pests in there. If decent people keep doing this , it may help for clubs to be a friendlier more relaxed and enjoyable experience

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By *Four_uCouple
over a year ago

from the land of milk & honey


"I’ve been going to clubs for many years and this is not aimed at only one club , because I’ve seen happening in many clubs . The so called wanking dead is not a new thing I know . It’s just that it seems now more and more men think because they’re in a club can treat women like a piece of meat and have no manners, decorum or respect at all . I know times are tough and clubs need money through the door. But letting people like this has the adverse effect. I shall be voting with my feet at a few venues and would urge club owners to provide a nice environment whilst making a profit to exclude these type of from their clubs . Rant over

I've left clubs because of not wanting to be associated with these types.

Too many people migrating from Tinder and the like I think."

That's been the case for many years now hence why we block single guys on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree there

I get totally ignored or made uncomfortable at clubs just for being a kind and Respectful person I am no oil painting or hung like a horse but when you are trying your best and some guy just takes over and then walks off with the persons that you have had the courage to chat to for a while just because thay are the right colour or endowed enough and keep holding it in full view of the world it makes you wonder if there is any point in being there

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Totally agree there

I get totally ignored or made uncomfortable at clubs just for being a kind and Respectful person I am no oil painting or hung like a horse but when you are trying your best and some guy just takes over and then walks off with the persons that you have had the courage to chat to for a while just because thay are the right colour or endowed enough and keep holding it in full view of the world it makes you wonder if there is any point in being there "

This comment makes you sound very entitled.

So someone chooses someone else over you because as you say 'thay are the right colour or endowed enough' ?

That's their right. Just because you've chatted to someone it doesn't mean you're entitled to anything from them at all.

This attitude is as negative as the behaviour people have already mentioned of guys following people and being pushy.

A

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By *hades Of GreyMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"

If you see bad behaviour report it. Clubs can't do anything about adverse behaviour if they don't know it's happened.

"

Club management are completely aware that single men can behave badly (If they are not they shouldn't be running the place).

I've consistently said that clubs should have a permanent floor walker who's job it is to maintain behaviour, I've seen this in the US and it works.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

If you see bad behaviour report it. Clubs can't do anything about adverse behaviour if they don't know it's happened.

Club management are completely aware that single men can behave badly (If they are not they shouldn't be running the place).

I've consistently said that clubs should have a permanent floor walker who's job it is to maintain behaviour, I've seen this in the US and it works.

"

Many do. But some clubs are large and have multiple playrooms, social areas, bars, corridors, wet zones etc.

How many staff clubs have is dependent on each venue. More staff means more wages. More wages means higher entry prices.

They can't be everywhere and certainly won't be in private rooms so club members are as responsible for policing behaviour as anyone. People are quick to bemoan bad behaviour but often less willing to challenge it or report it at the time. All you have to do is tell staff and they should act. If they don't then the club isn't worth attending.

A

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By *hades Of GreyMan
over a year ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 01/03/23 12:29:46]

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By *hades Of GreyMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"

More staff means more wages. More wages means higher entry prices.

"

I argue that a good floor walker would increase attendance and therefore be self funding.

Does it ever cross any-ones mind that if there is no security on the floor that any violence would not be dealt with in a timely manner?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

More staff means more wages. More wages means higher entry prices.

I argue that a good floor walker would increase attendance and therefore be self funding.

Does it ever cross any-ones mind that if there is no security on the floor that any violence would not be dealt with in a timely manner?"

Which clubs have you been to that don't have staff walking the floors?

Because I've never been to one that doesn't.....

A

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By *Four_uCouple
over a year ago

from the land of milk & honey


"

More staff means more wages. More wages means higher entry prices.

I argue that a good floor walker would increase attendance and therefore be self funding.

Does it ever cross any-ones mind that if there is no security on the floor that any violence would not be dealt with in a timely manner?"

Violence, I don't know which clubs you've been too but I suggest going elsewhere.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Don't worry, it's only other men who are the problem.

In such a competitive environment as swinging, with so many more men than women in the equation, it is of vital importance to stress that oneself is always exempt from the damning generalisations!

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone Area.

To be honest, we go to clubs FOR the single guys and have yet to experience much of the unwanted behaviour mentioned here. Apart from one time, we have always found the guys to be extremely respectful in their approach. Perhaps that is because we are often chatting to guys we know and trust. Or perhaps because we are a couple (although other couples seem to have bad experiences).

And as for the "wanking dead" following us/Mrs around, we actually find this funny and in some ways complimentary. As long as they don't touch, which so far they haven't (apart from one)If they want to walk around oogling her and having a wank, crack on! We don't let it bother us. The only time we ever find them irritating is when they start banging on our door, which is closed and locked for a reason!

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By *hellebelleWoman
over a year ago

ashford

I visited a club as a newbie with a friend and I got followed by two guys into the actual toilet.

They were knocking on the cubicle door saying they just wanted to talk and to stop being shy and open the door which was very daunting… luckily another woman came in and see what was happening and her husband (who was waiting outside)got involved and the two individuals were then forcefully removed from the toilet area and club by staff members.

I have not been back to that club but I admit I am wary going to my normal clubs alone as a single girl now and tend to stick to couples and single girls only nights.

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By *astlincscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

Tell the club staff if you are having issues.

We have had three issues with single guys in clubs (all different clubs) we spoke to the staff, who promptly dealt with problem.

We have yet to attend a club where the staff do nothing or turn a blind eye.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We've not experienced guys acting abusively, but we have been followed EVERYWHERE by them before. One night at Cupids, there were a gathering of guys at the top of the stairs. Anytime a couple or woman went down, one or two would peel off from the group and follow them.

We went down and had three of them follow us. We stopped on the stairs as if we'd changed our minds and they all froze They were Nonchalantly trying to examine the wallpaper as we went back up again

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset


"If you see bad behaviour report it.

Clubs can't do anything about adverse behaviour if they don't know it's happened. It's all well and good moaning about it after it's happened but how many will actually confront them at the time? Few I suspect.

If you're not comfortable with confronting someone at the time then you can report it to club staff so they can act, or you an stand by and watch it happen. The choice is yours.

People are forever calling out things they see in clubs in the forums but don't seem willing or able to try and prevent it at the time. It's too late once you or they have left.

A"

100% this

people doing wrong in clubs need dealing with there and then and op why just single out guys ?? seems a bit cock blocking to me ? this does not happen at all clubs ... im firm and blunt when in a club if i dont like whats happening when being followed or pressured then they know about it as i will tell then in a loud and direct voice if that dont work then its str8 to management ...

however me and hubs has visted clubs all over the Uk and Europe and its not always single guys i get more hassle from the male halfs of couples who think they have some sort of rights just because they are part of a couple the ones where there wives are either playing without them or they are at the bar to lets the husbands do as please so for me the male halfs of couples are the biggest pain ..

the next pain before single men is d*unk / loud / you cant say no to me type women they have ruined more nights than anyone and of course the club dont and wont ban them its ok for them to grope and not worry about consent or just be a embarrassment ...

every club ive ever been to has that single guy who there every week who sits in the back ground who dont speak or join in everyone one says oh hes harmless hes just likes to watch or wank and its kinda unsettling for some ..

so its not a single guy problem its more than that but no the skin all the single guys who will have already been fucked over at paying to get in and then listen to those couples who dont want him there moaning all night and telling others that swinging is for couples only bordom rubbish ..

ps if anything we need more guys in alot of the clubs ..

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone Area.


"If you see bad behaviour report it.

Clubs can't do anything about adverse behaviour if they don't know it's happened. It's all well and good moaning about it after it's happened but how many will actually confront them at the time? Few I suspect.

If you're not comfortable with confronting someone at the time then you can report it to club staff so they can act, or you an stand by and watch it happen. The choice is yours.

People are forever calling out things they see in clubs in the forums but don't seem willing or able to try and prevent it at the time. It's too late once you or they have left.

A

100% this

people doing wrong in clubs need dealing with there and then and op why just single out guys ?? seems a bit cock blocking to me ? this does not happen at all clubs ... im firm and blunt when in a club if i dont like whats happening when being followed or pressured then they know about it as i will tell then in a loud and direct voice if that dont work then its str8 to management ...

however me and hubs has visted clubs all over the Uk and Europe and its not always single guys i get more hassle from the male halfs of couples who think they have some sort of rights just because they are part of a couple the ones where there wives are either playing without them or they are at the bar to lets the husbands do as please so for me the male halfs of couples are the biggest pain ..

the next pain before single men is d*unk / loud / you cant say no to me type women they have ruined more nights than anyone and of course the club dont and wont ban them its ok for them to grope and not worry about consent or just be a embarrassment ...

every club ive ever been to has that single guy who there every week who sits in the back ground who dont speak or join in everyone one says oh hes harmless hes just likes to watch or wank and its kinda unsettling for some ..

so its not a single guy problem its more than that but no the skin all the single guys who will have already been fucked over at paying to get in and then listen to those couples who dont want him there moaning all night and telling others that swinging is for couples only bordom rubbish ..

ps if anything we need more guys in alot of the clubs .."

Here,Here regarding single gents!

On Friday, we witnessed one single lady getting in a guys face (he was just sitting chatting to another couple)and being quite confrontational and loudly questioning what he "brings to swinging" and then later on allegedly another lady who was one half of a couple got quite verbally abusive to a guy who said "no thanks" to a blowjob!

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By *oulkissMan
over a year ago

Croydon


"so its not a single guy problem its more than that but no the skin all the single guys who will have already been fucked over at paying to get in and then listen to those couples who dont want him there moaning all night and telling others that swinging is for couples only bordom rubbish .."

This rings a bit true.

I went to a club a couple of weeks ago, it was their Greedy Girls night.

It looked like it was going to be a good night, about half a dozen couples in, some single girls too.

Then 3 of the couples headed off to do a group thing that lasted till they went home, Talking to the female members of two of the other couples, they were not even aware that it was Greedy Girls night, and then commented that tey were only there for single girls or other couples. The other couple DID play and invilved some of the guys.

Now as I see it, that's just how it goes sometimes, I go for the social side of things as much as the potential for fun, so it doesn't bother me too much but it does make you scratch your head sometimes...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"so its not a single guy problem its more than that but no the skin all the single guys who will have already been fucked over at paying to get in and then listen to those couples who dont want him there moaning all night and telling others that swinging is for couples only bordom rubbish ..

This rings a bit true.

I went to a club a couple of weeks ago, it was their Greedy Girls night.

It looked like it was going to be a good night, about half a dozen couples in, some single girls too.

Then 3 of the couples headed off to do a group thing that lasted till they went home, Talking to the female members of two of the other couples, they were not even aware that it was Greedy Girls night, and then commented that tey were only there for single girls or other couples. The other couple DID play and invilved some of the guys.

Now as I see it, that's just how it goes sometimes, I go for the social side of things as much as the potential for fun, so it doesn't bother me too much but it does make you scratch your head sometimes...

"

If they didn't know there was a themed night then that's unfotunately on them. Clubs always advertise if there's a theme.

Aside from that....just because it's a greedy girls night that doesn't mean men are guaranteed anything. Women still can decide who they want to fuck and if that's not you then that's life.

Maybe the three couples decided there weren't any single guys that took their fancy and decided to have some fun with eachother?

We pretty much only look to meet with single guys but if there's nobody we find interesting/attractive then we'll sure as hell not just settle for whoever is there that night.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Totally agree there

I get totally ignored or made uncomfortable at clubs just for being a kind and Respectful person I am no oil painting or hung like a horse but when you are trying your best and some guy just takes over and then walks off with the persons that you have had the courage to chat to for a while just because thay are the right colour or endowed enough and keep holding it in full view of the world it makes you wonder if there is any point in being there

This comment makes you sound very entitled.

So someone chooses someone else over you because as you say 'thay are the right colour or endowed enough' ?

That's their right. Just because you've chatted to someone it doesn't mean you're entitled to anything from them at all.

This attitude is as negative as the behaviour people have already mentioned of guys following people and being pushy.

Sounds a bit like you think you have the right. We all have our preferences

A"

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By *hades Of GreyMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"

Violence, I don't know which clubs you've been too but I suggest going elsewhere.

Which clubs have you been to that don't have staff walking the floors?

"

Violence: A situation at my very popular local club ended up with a beer glass being thrown in the dress down area, there was broken glass everywhere and not a member of staff to be seen until he had time to leave the bar and sort it out.

Floor walkers: I'm not talking about a member of bar staff who may or may not walk around once an hour, I'm talking about someone who's job it is to maintain a permanent presence and hence a better behaved clientele.

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