FabSwingers.com forum: Approaching couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this is a little post to help out single guys in clubs. So the question is to all you sexy couples that attend clubs, firstly do you prefer to be approached or do you prefer to be the people that take the lead and if you do like men to approach you how do you like to be approached.

Please be nice and help out the single men of the swinging world

Thanks in advance

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Heathrow

We much prefer guys to approach as Mrs can be a bit shy. It’s always nice when gents introduce themselves to us both with a certain level of confidence without being full on. Good humour and compliments always go down well with us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We much prefer guys to approach as Mrs can be a bit shy. It’s always nice when gents introduce themselves to us both with a certain level of confidence without being full on. Good humour and compliments always go down well with us. "

I think it's really important that blokes realise how much importance the male half of the couple has on the situation and show a bit of respect after all it should be seen as a privilege to be invited to play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be polite and introduce yourself if always good for me alone or when with another and a good conversation can break the ice.

Also it seems like I shouldn't need to say but ask before you touch as recently had this issue and did politely say you should always ask fist before moving away.

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By *ubwife4uCouple
over a year ago

Heathrow

Not sure we see it as a privilege so much, as this might lead husbands to think other guys should be grateful when in fact, it is a decision we have all made and Mrs is getting as much from it as the other gents.

But, as much as I love to watch her get attention at the club, especially if I am across the room chatting or something, I do think it is hugely respectful to acknowledge us as a couple when made clear we are one. Sometimes, guys have joined us in rooms on the basis that we liked their attitude towards us a a couple more than anything else.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

A few things for us, but we're a bi male couple and only play with bi males so slightly different.

1. Don't wait for the guy to go to the toilet to approach us/her

2. When we ask what you're looking for, please do not ever say "what everyone else here is" one thing we've learnt is everyone is looking for something else.

3. We go to find people to play with, you're doing us as much of a favour by being a decent guy we want to play with as we're doing you a favour, despite what it may seem like, it is hard to find decent men!

4. We don't consider it to be rude for you to declare "I'm going for a wander" or "I'll see you around later". Don't feel you need to stay with us.

5. If we're dressed down in a towel, don't approach us if you're still dressed.

6. When we say we're looking for bi guys, don't then ask if she plays alone!

Probably loads and loads of other things too though, but massively depends on the person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone I feel it can be an absolute mine field and also vet daunting for people especially if new to the club scene

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks everyone I feel it can be an absolute mine field and also vet daunting for people especially if new to the club scene"

**very**

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

For us we prefer if the single guys attempt to engage us in conversation. Kitty is demisexual so need a connection before any play. So our best single guys in a club experience has been when the guy chatted to us non sexually beforehand!

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
over a year ago

Chippenham

We welcome guys approaching us to show interest as long as they are polite and the first words they say isn't "shall we go and find a room" Just be polite and if the couple aren't interested I'm sure you'll soon find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us it’s polite “normal” conversation with both of us ( to face not boobs etc for Smoke), compliments are very nice but not leery. No touching without asking even if non sexual touching, and don’t be clingy. Most of our club play is with single guys so if a guy acts respectfully there’s a good chance of play

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By *itsandTonguesCouple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Definitely start with normal conversation, be polite and talk to people like you would a friend of a friend, as in be polite but not too familiar. Ask questions and be honest. Talk to people for the sake of talking to them as they may not be interested but the couple next to them may still be listening! Reputation/recommendations go a long way in swinging

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By *eordiesCouple
over a year ago

newcastle

Usually if a single guy starts chatting to us or vice versa because the meet is in a club then the natural first comments are about that club or the wider club scene.

Straight away you are talking about a common subject.

It's fine to talk about mortgages or holidays, but by talking about the club scene you can find out either indirectly or directly exactly what the guy / couple are into.

For instance if the guy mentions that he goes to a certain club on a bisexual day then it's quite likely that he might be bisexual himself. Which may or may not be what you are into.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You have all been very helpful thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few things for us, but we're a bi male couple and only play with bi males so slightly different.

All your points are spot on.

Great advice and what we look for when we go clubbing as a couple.

OP Approach everyone like you would do in any other club environment. Forget initially that it’s a swingers event. It honestly works!

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Good advice

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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

The best way is to just start a normal conversation, the worst way is to follow a couple around playing with your cock!

If the couple aren't interested they will let you know.

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By *ittle MonkeysCouple
over a year ago

Kimberley

We are a couple, approach us as a couple. If you do want to talk to or dance with my wife then I would like it if you asked if I mind first.

I know what my wife likes but I know she is very thoughtful of others feelings too which means she may find it hard to say no to some people. I feel a level of protection at all times so it’s probably better in our case to ensure the husband is happy too

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Just like to Echo the view of the majority if you like us please come up and say hello.

But

Do not followers us.

Do not touch without consent.

Brack away for groups of guys they are holding you back.

Do not offer us drug's.

Do not be too d*unk.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

^^This all the way^^ Be yourself and stay well away from smut when first introducing yourself. Be respectful and see where the chat goes. Never assume chat will lead to fun, read the situation

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

We recently had a guy talk to us in a club, started off well, nice bit of small talk. Then went straight onto wanting to know what we are into, no problem but thought '2mins into conversation bit quick' but never mind not a problem. We told him. He then wanted to know a time for play?? we hadn't even said we were interested in him. Never mind, we said we don't have a schedule and are a go with the flow kind of people and managed to get away from him. Half hour later he managed to seek us out and asked if we had come up with a time yet?? Needless to say the pushy single guy had no chance. Just thought we'd add this as a what not to do

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think it all comes down to being polite non pushy and respectful of both parts of the couple this has always set me in good stead if I'm honest

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"I think it all comes down to being polite non pushy and respectful of both parts of the couple this has always set me in good stead if I'm honest "

Exactly this ^^

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Respect us both as losing respect for one, loses it for both.

Be polite, courteous, don’t assume anything.

Follow someone’s lead on conversations, don’t start talking about sex if someone’s talking about their holiday.

We find out more about a person and their dynamics from having a normal conversation rather than talking about sex.

Don’t hassle…give people space.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re happy to chat with anyone and we’ve learned that sometimes we’ll have to make the first move which we don’t mind.

We understand that some guys can be reluctant or shy.

If you’re an adult with reasonable social skills then the rest is just about attraction.

Big no for us is the guy that waits till I go to the loo or bar before approaching Dora.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

"..... If you do want to talk to or dance with my wife then I would like it if you asked if I mind first......."

So this is interesting. If a guy did this to us, we'd instantly be put off him. It's not my (male) place tos talk for my gf. For us, it shows a default view that the man/men in general are/is in control.

If he wants to dance with her, he can ask her. It's upto her to ask me if she wants, if I'm OK with that.

We find it really rude and demeaning when men ask the male in a couple for permission to do something with the female.

I understand it works for you, but I'm not sure it should be considered positive male behaviour to seeking permission from the male half of a couple.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

"..... If you do want to talk to or dance with my wife then I would like it if you asked if I mind first.......

If he wants to dance with her, he can ask her. It's upto her to ask me if she wants, if I'm OK with that.

We find it really rude and demeaning when men ask the male in a couple for permission to do something with the female.

I understand it works for you, but I'm not sure it should be considered positive male behaviour to seeking permission from the male half of a couple. "

Absolutely, my wife knows our standard policies and will probably check in, but it’s her decision not mine!

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"..... If you do want to talk to or dance with my wife then I would like it if you asked if I mind first.......

If he wants to dance with her, he can ask her. It's upto her to ask me if she wants, if I'm OK with that.

We find it really rude and demeaning when men ask the male in a couple for permission to do something with the female.

I understand it works for you, but I'm not sure it should be considered positive male behaviour to seeking permission from the male half of a couple. "

We thought this strange too. Often a guy in a club will ask me, Mr B, does your wife this or that. My response is don't ask me, ask Mrs F. Don't get me wrong, sometimes a guy might ask me if I would mind if he dances with my wife but he alone still needs to ask Mrs F. If a guy asks Mrs F first and she is willing to dance she will always ask me if I mind, wouldn't expect the guy to ask me. Like everything in this lifestyle communication is paramount

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing as a single guy is confidence. Personally, I am 52, not a muscly 25 year old. Most of the time , after having a nicw conversation , i get 'you are a nice guy, but we are looking for something else. I then see them (usually my age or older) go off with said 25yr old 6ft bearded, tattoed musclemen.

I will be honest, it really knocks the self esteem, and generally, i end up leaving early

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing as a single guy is confidence. Personally, I am 52, not a muscly 25 year old. Most of the time , after having a nicw conversation , i get 'you are a nice guy, but we are looking for something else. I then see them (usually my age or older) go off with said 25yr old 6ft bearded, tattoed musclemen.

I will be honest, it really knocks the self esteem, and generally, i end up leaving early"

We personally don’t seek the younger guys because we’ve found the ones that we’ve had experience of to be very self oriented.

Don’t let this get you down

A nice personality and some intelligent flirting can do wonders.

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By *iss pleasuringWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near

All valid points

As a single fem I do get the entertainment value when the walking cock wombles follow me about. I then turn it round and just be like can I join the walking cock wombles gang . I'll get my tits out and wank them. The guys soon change their directions

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for all your imput I think this should really help us single lads in clubs but I suppose it's if they take it on board

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I will be honest, it really knocks the self esteem, and generally, i end up leaving early"

I'd suggest trying a different club. The fact is, everyone has their preferences and you shouldn't be feeling negative because someone has a preference which isn't you.

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