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Advice from AbFabs attendees..putting on a show

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

My play partner and I are occasional visitors to AbFabs. We especially enjoy D/s play and playing in front of others. In the past we've had quite some fun in the dungeon; a particularly memorable night recently where she got a flogging on the St Andrew's cross and then spent a long time pleasuring me in the cage while a group of onlookers watched.

Our question though is whether it would be too much for us to take that play out into the main lounge / bar area ? We've never really seen much play out there and wonder whether it would be too much for her to submit out there ? (She likes the idea of being collared and on a chain...)

Grateful for your thoughts !

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I would advise against it.

If people go into the dungeon they have consented to seeing what goes on there. They have not consented if you do it elsewhere.

How do you know that someone won't be triggered?

In any case it is not right to expose people to your kinks without their permission.

Otherwise have fun.

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By *woforfun 1000Couple
over a year ago

surrey


"My play partner and I are occasional visitors to AbFabs. We especially enjoy D/s play and playing in front of others. In the past we've had quite some fun in the dungeon; a particularly memorable night recently where she got a flogging on the St Andrew's cross and then spent a long time pleasuring me in the cage while a group of onlookers watched.

Our question though is whether it would be too much for us to take that play out into the main lounge / bar area ? We've never really seen much play out there and wonder whether it would be too much for her to submit out there ? (She likes the idea of being collared and on a chain...)

Grateful for your thoughts !"

Personally I wouldn’t see a problem with it, they now have a sex swing in the lounge and I think it would be refreshing to see tbh! If someone doesn’t like it there is other parts of the bar/lounge area to go. We have seen women and guys with collars and chains and they are not restricted to the dungeon areas in all clubs we have been in not just ab fabs.

I would say go ahead and try we would def like to see something more happening in the lounge area as we rarely go into the dungeon!

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Very interesting to have such a divergence of views !

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Years ago we went quite often, a fetish Friday night plenty were playing in the main areas, personally don't see it as a problem

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By *ongue-TechniqueMan
over a year ago

Shoreham

Play is allowed in the lounge and I don’t see objections to walk around with collar and chain. The club is fully of liberated people and likely to accommodate others kinks.

Alternatively the staff are great and a discrete ask would put you at ease

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

I've seen someone tied to a chair in the lounge... really lovely to see her Dom push her boundaries. I've been flogged over one of the sofas... it was quiet that evening though lol.

Obv though I think the dungeon area does cater to the dom/sub side more but I do also think that although people are very liberated in this lifestyle, if people want to watch then the dungeon is the best place for them to go to... I feel the more extreme stuff might not be what people want when they are chilling but.... you could experiment by introducing the lighter side in the lounge area.

Me personally, I love watching the different things as a voyeur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not really into going round and watching people but we were there Friday and there was action on the bed in the bar area, I was quite happy to sit there and watch, drink in hand.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

I've seen people on collars and chains in the lounge area of a club before

With regards to flogging, I guess that depends on how extreme the play is, when you enter the dungeon you go in expecting some kind of BDSM Dom/Sub & what I call pain play, walking into the lounge bar area unless on a specific night I wouldn't expect it & I guess depending on how extreme the play is could be a little intimidating to some especially if it's their first time in a club

I should also add I don't have the voyeur gene, even if someone's in an open playroom I feel awkward watching like I'm intruding on their moment, so I guess yeah if I was in the lounge I'd probably leave, but I'd also leave if two people started fucking on the sofa next to me unless I'm far enough away not to be able to make eye contact

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By *unguy0069Man
over a year ago

Reigate

I once saw a lady make herself squirt in the seating area there. A few of us had to ask her to do it again a few more times just to make sure we were offended.

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour


"I once saw a lady make herself squirt in the seating area there. A few of us had to ask her to do it again a few more times just to make sure we were offended. "

Lmao... and were you?

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

I've played a few times in the lounge area. Don't see anyone being triggered or offended considering where they are and the fact that there is a bed there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/10/22 10:48:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I once saw a lady make herself squirt in the seating area there. A few of us had to ask her to do it again a few more times just to make sure we were offended. "

Lol

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

An interesting discussion actually

I have had sec in various bar areas and dungeons, as well as spanked flogged and been spanked and flogged in both

Sometimes I do think am I full on for non kinksters or shaggers but at the end of the day we are all at the club to either watch, do, or be watched - so really if you don’t like you can just move to another part of club.

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thank you everyone who has contributed to this - an interesting read.

We certainly aren't anticipating anything like really harsh impact play, but we do have the exhibitionist gene (to steal a phrase) - part of her kink is being on display and being seen to give me (and maybe others if they ask nicely) pleasure while collared. So I think we might give it a gentle go and see how it goes....

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By *utterypopcornCouple
over a year ago

oxford

It’s a sex club!!!! I would have thought most people there would be happy to see you letting yourselves go and having fun.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"An interesting discussion actually

I have had sec in various bar areas and dungeons, as well as spanked flogged and been spanked and flogged in both

Sometimes I do think am I full on for non kinksters or shaggers but at the end of the day we are all at the club to either watch, do, or be watched - so really if you don’t like you can just move to another part of club. "

I would suggest that basically BDSM is about consent, and the generally accepted rule by

people seriously into BDSM (and ignored by swingers and those monetisation sex) is that you dont expose people to your kink without consent. I would suggest it is not for people to move it is for people to behave appropriately.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"Thank you everyone who has contributed to this - an interesting read.

We certainly aren't anticipating anything like really harsh impact play, but we do have the exhibitionist gene (to steal a phrase) - part of her kink is being on display and being seen to give me (and maybe others if they ask nicely) pleasure while collared. So I think we might give it a gentle go and see how it goes...."

As usual I preface the following by it's my view and people can have different views.

As someone who has played in public and is not just a bedroom kinkster, (and have said this before in the forum) that it's better people do sex outside the dungeon than it. I admit on this site it is a minority view, we have had a few threads on it. I really don't think a group of the wanking dead and those hoping for a shag should be in the dungeon.

About 3 months ago I saw a brilliant and erotic sub/ domme play by the pool between two women and a guy. I am not against sexual kink, just not in the dungeon, unless it is kinky and would scare the nillas. I think kink that would scare the nillas should be in the dungeon.

Heathrow Dungeon Zone on a Friday at the old Abfabs was not serious. Which was why it was changed to Thursday with a dungeon monitor, a house dom and domme and was brilliant. Sex was allowed but single men were drilled about proper scene etiquette. I miss it, I miss Subversion Noir, Mistress Absolut all is forgiven.

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