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AbFabs experience, a bit of advice for you single guys...

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

A play partner and I went to AbFabs last night - Friday 2nd - and had a great night. It was our first time there as a couple and we both enjoyed it a lot, especially being watched in the dungeon (anyone who saw us in the cage at the end of the night - say "Hi" - she is still grinning about some of the commments made and it would be a huge turn on for her if anyone wants to send a message).

But one thing that surprised us was that we had no approaches from single guys. We don't think we look that bad - or unfriendly. But while guys gathered to watch when we played - and someone was very complimentary after watching a little flogging she got - nobody stopped by to just start a conversation when we were sitting in the lounge. Just to say - as a couple - that you're much more likely to get our undivided attention with a bit of friendly conversation than by waving your erect cock at us - however obviously big it is ! Don't be scared - say hello. If we don't want to talk we'll politely say no...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A play partner and I went to AbFabs last night - Friday 2nd - and had a great night. It was our first time there as a couple and we both enjoyed it a lot, especially being watched in the dungeon (anyone who saw us in the cage at the end of the night - say "Hi" - she is still grinning about some of the commments made and it would be a huge turn on for her if anyone wants to send a message).

But one thing that surprised us was that we had no approaches from single guys. We don't think we look that bad - or unfriendly. But while guys gathered to watch when we played - and someone was very complimentary after watching a little flogging she got - nobody stopped by to just start a conversation when we were sitting in the lounge. Just to say - as a couple - that you're much more likely to get our undivided attention with a bit of friendly conversation than by waving your erect cock at us - however obviously big it is ! Don't be scared - say hello. If we don't want to talk we'll politely say no...

"

Wow really on a Friday night? I’m surprised

Whenever we have been we have alway had men approach us, it’s not what we are looking for, but we always get one or two who strike up a convo.

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Yes - and we don't smell ! LOL

It's not a big deal really - and thinking about we didn't get approached by any couples either.

Was just unexpected and wondered if we were doing something wrong or unknowingly putting off discouraging vibes.

Anyway - it was a great night...though think we might have missed a lot of the action; though shared a very nice moment watching a couple in the sex swing in the dungeon at the end of the night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes - and we don't smell ! LOL

It's not a big deal really - and thinking about we didn't get approached by any couples either.

Was just unexpected and wondered if we were doing something wrong or unknowingly putting off discouraging vibes.

Anyway - it was a great night...though think we might have missed a lot of the action; though shared a very nice moment watching a couple in the sex swing in the dungeon at the end of the night."

I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s definitely not you

I find at AF a lot of people there know each other so tend to stick with those they know

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By *ussell JonesMan
over a year ago

wendover


"Yes - and we don't smell ! LOL

It's not a big deal really - and thinking about we didn't get approached by any couples either.

Was just unexpected and wondered if we were doing something wrong or unknowingly putting off discouraging vibes.

Anyway - it was a great night...though think we might have missed a lot of the action; though shared a very nice moment watching a couple in the sex swing in the dungeon at the end of the night."

I was there for my first Friday night in ages, as part of a mf couple last night (totally unplanned visit but always fun nevertheless for the 2 of us).

There was an abundance of single guys, most of whom did not have English as a 1st language so maybe that's the reason for a lack of conversation?

They also seemed to lack, for the most part, any knowledge of swinger etiquette regarding touching without asking first #justsaying.

It may be a while before I attend on a Friday night again.

I should mention that Sunday afternoons are MUCH more sociable in my experience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes - and we don't smell ! LOL

It's not a big deal really - and thinking about we didn't get approached by any couples either.

Was just unexpected and wondered if we were doing something wrong or unknowingly putting off discouraging vibes.

Anyway - it was a great night...though think we might have missed a lot of the action; though shared a very nice moment watching a couple in the sex swing in the dungeon at the end of the night.

I was there for my first Friday night in ages, as part of a mf couple last night (totally unplanned visit but always fun nevertheless for the 2 of us).

There was an abundance of single guys, most of whom did not have English as a 1st language so maybe that's the reason for a lack of conversation?

They also seemed to lack, for the most part, any knowledge of swinger etiquette regarding touching without asking first #justsaying.

It may be a while before I attend on a Friday night again.

I should mention that Sunday afternoons are MUCH more sociable in my experience. "

Exactly this. We tend to avoid Fridays now

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Yes - I think the language thing might have been an issue given some of the conversations we heard at check-in !

Now wondering though if you saw us last night...;-)

Hope you had a good night with your friend !

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

It sounds like they have their membership policy for guys a bit wrong .. obviously nothing wrong with different nationalities ..

I like Chams as it has a lot of regular guys that are for the most part used to making the first move in a social situation without being pushy ..

Saying that I have been as a couple and not found a single gent that caught her eye ....even tho we would have chatted to them first (unlike most couples )...

Sometimes it's just tricky

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By *adylerieWoman
over a year ago

Leatherhead, Surrey

I wasn’t there this Friday but I am normally.

Did you just sit on the sofas? It’s very important to chat to as many people as possible at the beginning. Even people you have no intention of playing with. If you like the look of a single guy you should approach them. It takes a lot more guts for them to approach you.

I saw the comment about people knowing each other and yes that is true but I guarantee they are all friendly and will introduce you to others. The funny thing is that the dynamic changes every time I go - I am probably considered a regular but sometimes I don’t know anyone. You just never know who is going and what will happen - I love that!

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 04/09/22 11:56:33]

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Thanks - that sounds like good advice. We'll try to be a little more assertive next time (ironic, given our D/s dynamic)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wasn’t there this Friday but I am normally.

Did you just sit on the sofas? It’s very important to chat to as many people as possible at the beginning. Even people you have no intention of playing with. If you like the look of a single guy you should approach them. It takes a lot more guts for them to approach you.

I saw the comment about people knowing each other and yes that is true but I guarantee they are all friendly and will introduce you to others. The funny thing is that the dynamic changes every time I go - I am probably considered a regular but sometimes I don’t know anyone. You just never know who is going and what will happen - I love that!

"

It was me that posted about people knowing each other there. I have to say everytime we’ve been there no one has ever introduced us to anyone, and we would consider ourselves a smiley friendly couple. It’s only the single guys that come and approach us which is a shame as we are only interested in ladies

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By *anPsurreycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Surrey


"Yes - and we don't smell ! LOL

It's not a big deal really - and thinking about we didn't get approached by any couples either.

Was just unexpected and wondered if we were doing something wrong or unknowingly putting off discouraging vibes.

Anyway - it was a great night...though think we might have missed a lot of the action; though shared a very nice moment watching a couple in the sex swing in the dungeon at the end of the night.

I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s definitely not you

I find at AF a lot of people there know each other so tend to stick with those they know"
agree with that 100%

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By *azpiz1Man
over a year ago

Camberley

I went on Friday 26th, plonked myself down on the sofa between two couples ( who hadn't been chatting) and just started talking to them... its not rocket science guys. If you don't start taking to them, you don't stand too much chance..

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"A play partner and I went to AbFabs last night - Friday 2nd - and had a great night. It was our first time there as a couple and we both enjoyed it a lot, especially being watched in the dungeon (anyone who saw us in the cage at the end of the night - say "Hi" - she is still grinning about some of the commments made and it would be a huge turn on for her if anyone wants to send a message).

But one thing that surprised us was that we had no approaches from single guys. We don't think we look that bad - or unfriendly. But while guys gathered to watch when we played - and someone was very complimentary after watching a little flogging she got - nobody stopped by to just start a conversation when we were sitting in the lounge. Just to say - as a couple - that you're much more likely to get our undivided attention with a bit of friendly conversation than by waving your erect cock at us - however obviously big it is ! Don't be scared - say hello. If we don't want to talk we'll politely say no...

"

So as someone who also plays in dungeon and has kit with me, I find that that’s often a talking point. If I don’t have kit with me or have my collar on people don’t talk to me

It’s actually really interesting to see how dom men are approached vs sub men (I am switch). Also if I am not in kink mode then I often don’t talk to other kinksters as my head is not in the zone so to say

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By *ssexgalWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Ok as a regular im happy to talk to all and seem to be known well so just chat and as they say see what happens.The dungeon and I are well known and I enjoy myself there lots x -butt looking ok lol-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some couples or single female are definitely not so polite if approached and they are not interested . Even it is done in the right way - with a smile and an incredibly polite hello or a friendly introduction. I’ve had people just totally ignore me like I wasn’t even there.

This definitely makes some single guys question themselves and can be a confidence knocker.

It’s happened to me and then you think - is it the way I look ? Is it my colour etc etc.

You need to develop a think skin to a certain extent and not all find that so easy.

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Well one of us was wearing a collar and a rope harness (and not much else....) but event that seemed to be not enough to elicit much interest ! LOL

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I can't comment on that night as I wasn't there or have been to that club.

With me, normally I don't approach any couples the reason I have found is most couple are only looking for other couples (in my experience). After saying my hellos to the people I know, il then sit at the bar and if people approach me, then all good, if they don't, then that's cool as well.

Normally I have a bag of goodies with me (my BDSM kit), and that normally starts conversations normally via someone else when I'm asked about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok as a regular im happy to talk to all and seem to be known well so just chat and as they say see what happens.The dungeon and I are well known and I enjoy myself there lots x -butt looking ok lol-"

I know, I got an electric shock after touching your nipple a few months back. x

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By *ntR OP   Man
over a year ago

Reading

Hope we might see you there if we head back. Nothing quite as sexy as having others in there while we play. Last week it was fucking awesome when we played in the cage and we could see just how much the show we were putting on was being appreciated

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