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I'm a swinger not a hooker!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Rant alert.

Went to a club daytime yesterday... I was the only women in the place. One guy in particular seemed to have the hump that I'd got in for free and he'd paid and expected me to have sex with him. His initial approach was fairly standard; 'fancy a play', I declined. I didn't fancy him and had decided to leave in about 10 minutes anyway.... He tried again, this time, his exact words were 'I've paid to get in here so I'd better get some action with you". I just glared at him and left but it left a pretty nasty feeling with me. Does anyone else ever meet guys like this in clubs? It's made me feel a bit reluctant to use this one again to be honest.

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

Unfortunately this represents the attitude of some (Not all by any means we need to stress)single guys on the scene. His demonstration of his limited conversational skills probably goes some way to explaining his lack of sucess with women. Quite frankly if he wants a brothel, then he should go to one.

Personally, after his last comment, we feel you should have reported this to the club, otherwise they cannot take any action, however we understand where your coming from with not wanting to do this, as some clubs can deal with these situations better than others, and its often the case that people don't want the fuss.

We wouldn't let it stop you from going to the club, if the club was good otherwise and as we are sure your aware there are plenty of decent men on the scene too.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I had a similar experience in a club a couple of years ago. I was socialising and went into the kitchen area to get myself a drink. There were three single guys (first timers I think) who were there together. As I poured my drink, two of them approached and stood either side of me, the third stood behind me so I was surrounded.

"How does this work?" said one. I said I wasn't sure what he meant.

"Do we just make an arrangement for sex with you now? All three of us would like a go"

I felt cheapened although I know the fault was with them and not me. Fortunately, experiences like this have been rare although I know there are single blokes who think that paying entrance into a club entitles them to sex with whoever they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never happened to me, and if it did he would of got a mouthfull off me. you should report it to the staff so they can deal with it, its not nice for you to feel uncomfortable and not good for the reputation of the club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rant alert.

Went to a club daytime yesterday... I was the only women in the place. One guy in particular seemed to have the hump that I'd got in for free and he'd paid and expected me to have sex with him. His initial approach was fairly standard; 'fancy a play', I declined. I didn't fancy him and had decided to leave in about 10 minutes anyway.... He tried again, this time, his exact words were 'I've paid to get in here so I'd better get some action with you". I just glared at him and left but it left a pretty nasty feeling with me. Does anyone else ever meet guys like this in clubs? It's made me feel a bit reluctant to use this one again to be honest.

"
thats disgusting behaviour by anyones standards try reporting him to the club, he could try again with some one else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately this represents the attitude of some (Not all by any means we need to stress)single guys on the scene. His demonstration of his limited conversational skills probably goes some way to explaining his lack of sucess with women. Quite frankly if he wants a brothel, then he should go to one.

Personally, after his last comment, we feel you should have reported this to the club, otherwise they cannot take any action, however we understand where your coming from with not wanting to do this, as some clubs can deal with these situations better than others, and its often the case that people don't want the fuss.

We wouldn't let it stop you from going to the club, if the club was good otherwise and as we are sure your aware there are plenty of decent men on the scene too."

100% agree with this reply.

Did you report it to the staff? If not, think you should at least drop them an email outling what happened. If they are any good as owners/staff they will want to know as if they start getting a reputation for allowing or turning a blind eye to such behaviour, that will be their business down the swanee.

Fortunately, not all clubs are like this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I didn't say anything to the manager. But I probably should have done. I probably won't use that club again to be honest... the whole atmosphere was tense, probably because so few women were in there...

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

I have been alon to a club, and never had that happen, when you dcline they just accept it!!

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By *kmale421Man
over a year ago

wirral


"I didn't say anything to the manager. But I probably should have done. I probably won't use that club again to be honest... the whole atmosphere was tense, probably because so few women were in there... "

Love to know which club that was, partly because I am a single guy that does use clubs in the North West and it would worry me if I was going to a club where that happened. If you wish to name it by PMong me, great and if not truely sorry that happened to you.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We soon learned early into our swinging journey that quieter clubs that single guys in will tend to have a slight "issue" it creates an almost predatory enviroment.

We had a night in one once where a guy asked if he could join us (we were sitting in a room talking), we talked to him and it was all fine no mention of play was made. Later in the evening we were having a play in a "room" with door open and he walks in and starts groping Mrs C without so much as a word. I let him know it wasn't happening and he went running out of there only to have a go at us both outside about not making it clear (had already said no to playing with him).

While there are plenty of decent respectful men in the swinging world, there is a percentage of those who think because they paid they get a shag, In a way given the huge premium they pay you can understand the mindset but not forgive it.

Its why we stopped going to clubs on "free for all" single guy nights. Clubs that vet the single guys and limit the numbers are the way forward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rant alert.

Went to a club daytime yesterday... I was the only women in the place. One guy in particular seemed to have the hump that I'd got in for free and he'd paid and expected me to have sex with him. His initial approach was fairly standard; 'fancy a play', I declined. I didn't fancy him and had decided to leave in about 10 minutes anyway.... He tried again, this time, his exact words were 'I've paid to get in here so I'd better get some action with you". I just glared at him and left but it left a pretty nasty feeling with me. Does anyone else ever meet guys like this in clubs? It's made me feel a bit reluctant to use this one again to be honest.

"

A particularly unintelligent and rude approach from a 'basic' male that brings discredit of all singles. Sorry to hear about it. Clearly, the guy does just not get it. The whole point of the swinging experience is that is all free will based and that is it's charm and allure. Some nights I have gone to clubs and not played at all. However, I have usually chatted to some very interesting people and on other nights have had a ball.

If this happens again, just let the staff know. It's in their interests that guys with this kind of approach are kept out.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I go to clubs which have an open door policy for single guys - I go for the single guys!

But I rarely have a problem. The likely ones are fairly easy to spot, they have that wideeyed newbie look.

I also tell people clearly, calmly and firmly if I'm not interested and draw staff attention to any that seem to have the wrong idea.

It helps if it's a club where the staff give you confidence that anything will be dealt with. And good staff would be distressed to know that you have been treated this way and are considering not returning.

One note in their defence - they did say they didn't know what ti do and how to approach you. So getting a staff member or establishedclub goer to have a word might have cleared it all up AMD left them aware that they had blundered over a line in ignorance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Rant alert.

Went to a club daytime yesterday... I was the only women in the place. One guy in particular seemed to have the hump that I'd got in for free and he'd paid and expected me to have sex with him. His initial approach was fairly standard; 'fancy a play', I declined. I didn't fancy him and had decided to leave in about 10 minutes anyway.... He tried again, this time, his exact words were 'I've paid to get in here so I'd better get some action with you". I just glared at him and left but it left a pretty nasty feeling with me. Does anyone else ever meet guys like this in clubs? It's made me feel a bit reluctant to use this one again to be honest.

"

That guy is a dickhead and as a man I'd like to apologise on behalf of all the genuine swingings men out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a similar experience at a club and I just told them that I wasn't there like that. They tried just touching and got told off. I reported it and they were banned

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was a lady up my way got offered £50 from a guy because he wasnt getting any action on here , thought since she wanted fun she would do him for cash

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive never been to a club.. But even i know thats down right discusting.. It really puts a bad name out for us single guys.. People like that really do ruin it for people..

If it was me i would report him.. Deffo!!

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By *--Cinders---Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

Happened to me at a club, a guy started pestering me as soon as i got through the door, i hadnt even taken my coat of, he tried touching and getting pretty heavy with me, because i didnt respond and told him to back of, he lost his temper and took it out on his locker, one of the other guys reported him and he was told to leave and not to return..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some men think that they are guaranteed sex if they pay to get in which is very wrong and not sure where they get this presumption from, clubs should be more clear to the men that no means NO and that paying to go to a club does not mean they will get sex! Clubs provide a place to socialise and allow people to enjoy themselves it's NOT a whore house if they want whores they will not find them at clubs and they should go elsewhere!

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"I think some men think that they are guaranteed sex if they pay to get in which is very wrong and not sure where they get this presumption from, clubs should be more clear to the men that no means NO and that paying to go to a club does not mean they will get sex! Clubs provide a place to socialise and allow people to enjoy themselves it's NOT a whore house if they want whores they will not find them at clubs and they should go elsewhere!"

Where's there a 'like' button when you want one?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I have been in clubs where i have seen that sort of attitude and its the reason why I stopped going on certain nights...

I think the best thing you can do in that situation is alert the staff... because the better clubs are fairly well self policing anyway, and if people don't speak up others may go thru the same thing.. they won't know unless they are told...

there is an arguement in there that certain clubs that pay women to be there don't help, because people start to think all clubs are like that when they are very much the minority.... but thats a different conversation for a different thread....

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By *unglostercplCouple
over a year ago

gloucester

I see club kiss charges single guys £50 which includes a guaranteed 15 min in a private room with his so called goddess if that is not prositution then what do you call it they also have profiles on adult works this brings swinging down to a new low level what is peoples views on this.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I'd better not say for fear of a ban. But the venue is doomed anyway because according to the local rag, the guy who runs it apparently didn't apply for a licence from the council (much like the last place he ran). So if you want to go, go soon. We'll pass thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been to clubs as a single and as part of a couple I'd like to say as a couple we've not Experienced anyone stepping over the line as we make it clear where that line is. However as a single some of the conversations I've overheard have been alarming to say the least! One guy was saying that blokes who bring their girlfriends/ wives to clubs are clearly weak and their wives need a real man. He then said he'd never let his wife fuck someone else as she belongs to him. His view and that of others is that because the women are there for sex are clearly willing to shag everyone because theyre clearl sluts. Unsurprisingly the blokes I've heard expressing this weren't at the upper end of the human food chain :-/

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Having been to clubs as a single and as part of a couple I'd like to say as a couple we've not Experienced anyone stepping over the line as we make it clear where that line is. However as a single some of the conversations I've overheard have been alarming to say the least! One guy was saying that blokes who bring their girlfriends/ wives to clubs are clearly weak and their wives need a real man. He then said he'd never let his wife fuck someone else as she belongs to him. His view and that of others is that because the women are there for sex are clearly willing to shag everyone because theyre clearl sluts. Unsurprisingly the blokes I've heard expressing this weren't at the upper end of the human food chain :-/"

Think hear the same guy then at a different club - single guys like that give all single guys a bad bad name and sorry to say they turn up in all clubs even the best run ones. Just because they pay membership and entrance doesn't mean "free" shag all and everything...but in their brains it seems so Shame

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Having been to clubs as a single and as part of a couple I'd like to say as a couple we've not Experienced anyone stepping over the line as we make it clear where that line is. However as a single some of the conversations I've overheard have been alarming to say the least! One guy was saying that blokes who bring their girlfriends/ wives to clubs are clearly weak and their wives need a real man. He then said he'd never let his wife fuck someone else as she belongs to him. His view and that of others is that because the women are there for sex are clearly willing to shag everyone because theyre clearl sluts. Unsurprisingly the blokes I've heard expressing this weren't at the upper end of the human food chain :-/"

have to say it is the exact same conversations I have heard in the past which got me so angry that I had to step back and bite my lips.... people like that will never learn

however i will say that it doesn't tarr all singles with the same brush, as with everything the ones who do "get it" will stand out......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is exactly the kind of attitude from guys that put me off clubs, dogging and social events!

the fact that just cos i maybe looking for fun then i will sleep with anyone! pffft i still have standards.. i would rather be cellibut than sleep wth someone i didnt fancy!

yh so i have a sexually free attitude of not believing i have to be in love to have sex.. but that doesnt mean i will sleep with anything grr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one of the bad attitudes i experienced was on a dogging site where they advertised a socail meet up.. i thought it was just that, social.. as i had no car at the time, i asked of anyone was passing my way and would mind giving me a lift.. i got a reply that then suggested we stop somewhere to play first!! this guy i had said no thanks to on 2 occasions for meeting before!

when i replied saying no i was looking for a lift only and didnt want to be made to feel i had to honour the guy for doing so by playing with them! i then got back from him about how he had done nothing wrong he thought he would just suggest stopping off and there is nothign wrong with that! jez if i offended someone when i hadnt meant to, i would apologise not get at them!

then a woman i chatted to on the site i mentioned this to and she said she had met him and he is not really like that.. well clearly he is! wow

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Rant alert.

Went to a club daytime yesterday... I was the only women in the place. One guy in particular seemed to have the hump that I'd got in for free and he'd paid and expected me to have sex with him. His initial approach was fairly standard; 'fancy a play', I declined. I didn't fancy him and had decided to leave in about 10 minutes anyway.... He tried again, this time, his exact words were 'I've paid to get in here so I'd better get some action with you". I just glared at him and left but it left a pretty nasty feeling with me. Does anyone else ever meet guys like this in clubs? It's made me feel a bit reluctant to use this one again to be honest.

"

This is the kind of reason i don't go to clubs alone.

I've been a few times with a lady but never alone.

If you're in any way half decent (by that I mean I can string a sentence together and I'm not a complete arsehole) you wouldn't want to be lumped in with these dick-heads.

It's a shame coz 'd love to go.

And I agree with an earlier comment - you should have reported it to the club.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I am hoping not all clubs are like that,I took my wife to a club two years ago,and she nearly quit swinging,luckely enough we found some nice party's for fun,we are going to try another club this Saturday,we do like to invit. Some single s for fun just hope we meet some nice ones

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